


Thou Shalt Not Covet

by roslinadamasinequanon



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Children, Drama, Episode: s02e15 Ellie, Episode: s03e15 Dead Irish Writers, Episode: s03e16 The U.S. Poet Laureate, Episode: s03e19 Enemies Foreign and Domestic, Episode: s03e22 Posse Comitatus, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Political, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-16
Updated: 2006-12-16
Packaged: 2019-05-15 06:41:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 105,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roslinadamasinequanon/pseuds/roslinadamasinequanon
Summary: Jed's and Leo's professional relationship and friendship is strongly tested when Jed is handed some incriminating information that links Leo to...his WIFE?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Leo McGarry entered the Oval Office. A look of puzzlement crossed his face as he saw President Jed Bartlet sitting at his desk frowning at the papers in front of him. Jed muttered a greeting but continued to look perplexed at the papers. 

"May I ask what all this is?" Leo gestured to all the papers. 

"Lists." 

"I can see that. Lists for what?" 

"The birthday party I'm planning for Abbey. I have guest lists, wine lists, food lists, music lists…" 

"I get the idea. You are aware that you have a social secretary who can take care of all that for you?" 

"Of course I am. If this were a party for a visiting ambassador or something that would be fine. This is my WIFE. It's my responsibility to take care of it all. Having the White House Social Secretary take care of it would be like allowing Charlie to get her gift." 

"Isn't he getting it?" 

"I picked it out. He just gets it for me." Jed was getting exasperated now. 

Leo smiled with amusement. Jed was the only man he knew to whom planning a party like this would become like a major military operation, planned down to the very minute, with second and third back up plans. "This is quite a list. Do you think Abbey is really going to go for a big party?" He knew that Abbey didn't always enjoy the pomp and circumstance of White House life. 

"Probably not," Jed admitted. 

"So you're taking all this time to plan the perfect party for a woman who you know is probably not going to enjoy it?" 

"That's about it." Jed looked up to see Leo looking at him as if he was insane and he sighed knowing he would have to come clean. 

"OK. I know she is going to enjoy the party we have for her in New Hampshire over the weekend with just family and close friends a hell of a lot more than this one. But, I'm planning the party for the night before the medical review board will come down on her. I want to take her mind off it." 

"So you're planning this huge black tie affair simply to take your wife's mind off her problems?" 

"In a nutshell," Jed agreed. 

Leo gave an affectionate shake of the head. He didn't know why he should be surprised that Jed would go to these lengths. The man was absolutely crazy about his wife. 

"Speaking of the review board," Jed glanced down at his watch, "Abbey should be back from her meeting with them. Why don't we go over and see how it went so we can plan some strategy." 

Leo nodded and fell in step behind his boss. 

"Now about this guest list," Jed continued on as they walked toward the East Wing, "should I address your invitation to Mr. Leo McGarry and guest or…" He lifted a brow in anticipation. 

"Just Mr. Leo McGarry will be fine." 

"I've been so wrapped up over the past few months with the things Abbey and I were dealing with I never really had the chance to ask what ever happened to you and Jordan?" 

"Nothing happened," Leo scowled. "We went on a couple of dates and I guess we just weren't right for each other." Leo's mind flashed back to New Year's Eve when he had moaned Abbey's name and how much he wanted her to Jordan while they were necking on the couch. He had been too humiliated to call her back and try to start over, but maybe now was not such a bad time to do that. 

He was thinking on that when Jed opened the door to Abbey's office. The first thing they noticed was the playpen in the middle of the floor where the twins were playing quietly. 

Aislinn pulled herself up by the netting until she stood for her father's attention. Jed grinned at how adorable she was. Abbey had pulled her short wispy curls into two ponytails that stuck up on top of her head. 

"Hey, pigtails," he said as he bent over to kiss the top of her head. Then, as he stood back up, both he and Leo's eyes fell on the First Lady. 

Abbey was sitting at her desk with her head back and her eyes closed. Her chair was turned to the side revealing shapely legs that were crossed at the knee. Leo tried to avert his eyes from those amazing legs but they were damn hard to ignore in that short wine colored skirt. His eyes lingered on the sexy stiletto slingbacks she was wearing, then moved up to her delicate ankles and her slender calves, higher still… 

"Abbey." Jed's voice broke him out of his reverie. Abbey opened her eyes and pressed two fingers against her temple. 

"Tough day, babe?" He moved forward to kiss her forehead. 

"You could say that." 

"What are the kids doing here?" 

"Izzy had a follow up exam at the hospital. She should be back in about an hour so I thought I'd keep them down here with me and get some paperwork done, but now I have this splitting headache." 

"Why don't I take them back to the Oval Office with me, and you go upstairs, lay down and take an aspirin." 

"Are you sure? You don't have any meetings?" 

Jed turned to look at Leo. 

"None," the Chief of Staff concurred. "Just some boring paperwork." 

"I'll finish my paperwork, then bring them home and if you're up to it we can discuss the review board over dinner." 

"OK," Abbey agreed. She got to her feet and approached the playpen. As she leaned over to lift Aislinn out, the slim fitting skirt stretched taut across her inconceivably luscious rear then rose inches higher to reveal more of her incredible legs. Leo's heart began to pound with the first stirrings of excitement. To hide it from the couple, he took Aislinn from her mother and turned to head for the Oval Office. 

"Why is he in such a hurry?" Abbey asked. 

"Got me," Jed shrugged. He took Nicholas, gave Abbey another light kiss, this time on the lips, and followed in Leo's wake. 

* * * * 

Toby decided to take advantage of the President's light schedule and brought him some proposals that he and Josh had been throwing around to go over. He had expected to walk into the Oval Office not daddy daycare, but daddy daycare seemed to be the case. The President sat on the couch with a pen clenched between his teeth as he went over some paperwork. His daughter sat beside him, leaning against him sleepily while she half-heartedly drank from her bottle. His son sat in the middle of the seal of the President of the United States surrounded by plastic blocks and toys. 

"What can I do for you, Toby," Jed asked. 

"Josh and I were going over the budget for Health and Human…" 

"Wait, hold that thought. Nicholas, STOP right there." Jed put up his hand and turned to where his son was heading to unplug a lamp. He lifted the boy and settled him back among his blocks "Sorry, go ahead and continue." 

"As I was saying, we found that if we add childhood inoculations for…" 

"Aislinn, don't you dare put that in your mouth, sweetheart. Jesus, your mother will KILL me." 

Toby sighed with irritation as the President leaned over to take away the broken cigarette she had snuck out of his pocket while she had been sitting with him. 

"Sorry about that, Toby," Jed apologized again. "I'm listening. I really am." 

"Well, we think that if we changed some numbers around, we can guarantee…" 

Before Toby could continue on, Nicholas Bartlet began to cry and tug at his father's pant leg. 

"I'm sorry, Toby, really. I think he's wet. Can you just watch Aislinn here while I go change his diaper?" It wasn't a question. "Just give her that pink bubba if she fusses." 

This isn't happening to me, Toby thought, as he plopped down onto the couch next to Aislinn and gazed at her balefully. Aislinn stared back at him with big solemn gray eyes. Toby picked up a discarded newspaper, and as he lifted it, he realized the baby girl was still regarding him somberly. She wasn't used to being ignored by the adults in her life and wasn't quite sure what to make of him. 

"What are you looking at, little lady?" he asked. "You want that bubba your dad was talking about? What the heck is a bubba anyway?" 

"Bubba." Aislinn's face lit with a mischievous smile, flashing the dimple in her right cheek that she had inherited from her beautiful mother. He had to admit that as far as kids went, this baby girl was a knockout in the cute department. He watched her squirm down off the couch and pick up the pink bottle of juice she had left on the floor. As she sat back and began to suck from it, he began to read his paper in earnest. 

He was deeply engrossed in an editorial against the White House when something slammed loudly into his paper startling him. 

"What the HELL!" he shouted as he jumped up. He moved the paper and saw little Aislinn standing before him in her overalls and pink T-shirt. The little cherubs face was crumpling…she was just about to…"No!" Toby tried to stop her. Her bottom lip began to jut out and quiver…"Oh please don't…" But in the next instant, Aislinn let out an ear splitting cry of fear. 

"Jesus, what happened!?" Jed ran out of the bathroom carrying Nicholas under one arm. The baby boy's diaper was dangling from his leg as his father had only gotten it half fastened. "What happened to my daughter, Toby?" he demanded. 

"She scared me." 

"She SCARED you? She is a year old and has the face of an angel. Just how did she scare you?" 

"Dada," Aislinn wailed lifting her arms up for her daddy to pick her up. Jed set Nicholas down on the floor and lifted Aislinn into his arms. 

"She startled me," Toby stated defensively. "I didn't expect her to hit my newspaper." 

"Ssh, Ashy… don't cry, sunshine." He bounced her in his arms. "I won't let the mean man get you." He turned and fixed Toby with piercing blue eyes. "I thought I asked you to WATCH her." 

"I did… I was…" he stammered sheepishly. "I didn't think she could go anywhere." 

"Do you even listen when I talk to you? I've only been bragging about the fact that they can walk for two weeks now. I know that…" 

"Uh, sir," Toby lifted a brow. 

"No, Toby, I'm going to speak my mind about this. Aislinn is your…" 

"Sir, I really think you better look at Nicholas." 

"Why? What is he doing?" 

"He's peeing on the eagle's head." 

Jed's head snapped and he turned to see that Nicholas had gotten out of his diaper completely and was sitting naked, peeing on the Presidential Seal. He closed his eyes pressing two fingers to his temple before calling out, "ABBEY!" 

* * * * 

Leo sat at his desk in a complete loss as to what to do. In his hands he held his address book with Jordan's phone number. In front of him lay a picture of him, Jed and Abbey at one of the inaugural balls. It was Abbey that his eyes fixated on. Why, oh why couldn't he just let this attraction go? He had spent half his life being secretly in love with his best friend's wife and never, until Jed had gotten shot and Abbey had gotten pregnant, had it affected him this strongly. It had been so much easier when the Bartlets were in New Hampshire and he and Jenny were in D.C.. He could go months without even thinking about her. Then he would see her again, see them together, and it all came back. It wasn't so hard to explain. Abbey was a beautiful, brilliant, sexually alluring woman. The things that he dreamed of doing with her were all things he had never dared to suggest with his straight-laced wife. There were a lot of things that he knew Jenny would never go for that he was pretty sure wouldn't even make Abbey Bartlet blink. After all, the first couple had scored four out of five stars on a "How Sexually Adventurous are You?" survey in _Cosmopolitan_ magazine. He had seen books on Kama Sutra on their bedroom bookshelves and smelled massage oil on Jed when he had interrupted them one night. 

Leo groaned and leaned back in his chair. That was half his problem. Before he became Jed Bartlet's Chief of Staff, he hadn't really been on an intimate basis with their life. Things had certainly changed in that department. In the past 3½ years, he had interrupted them in more intimate moments than he cared to remember. He had heard them having sex in a shower stall, been privy to rumors of carnal acts on their boat, and had seen Abbey naked in pictures Marcus Hughes had taken of her and Jed making love. But, it was more than that. He had watched Abbey come as close to losing herself as he had ever seen when Jed had been shot and nearly killed. He had watched her strength and resilience as she helped him fight for his life and nursed him back to health. He had watched her devour jars of crunchy peanut butter during her pregnancy. He had been filled with a nervous tenderness as he watched her tiny frame swell with Jed's twins, fearing her safety in delivering them. He had sat anxiously outside that birthing room cringing every time the door opened and he heard her crying out in pain. He would never forget how Abbey had looked after the birth when they had all been allowed in to meet the two newest Bartlets. Her hair was still damp with the sweat of her exertion. She wore no make up and it was obvious that she was totally exhausted, yet never before had he seen a face so alight with complete and total joy and love. It was a look that she shared with her husband and when those gazes met you could almost palpably feel the happiness and love extending between the two. 

Part of his attraction to Abbey was definitely that easy, affectionate relationship that she shared with Jed. He envied Jed an intelligent wife who matched him word for word, wit for wit. He envied him the teasing and the flirting. He envied him the touching: the little rub on the small of his back, the brush of a lock of hair off his forehead, the straightening of his tie and the way her hand would unconsciously give his chest an extra little caress. He envied him being able to DO the touching: the holding of her hand, the stroking of her knee in the limo, the hand on the small of her back as he led her into a room and the way he would drop it when he thought no one was looking to pat her rear. He envied the way Jed would mope around the late night halls of the West Wing when Abbey was gone, simply because he missed her. He envied his enthusiasm at her return and the way he would wrap things up and bound for home just to be with her again. He envied them their little "barbecues". Not many people he knew that had been married as long as Jed and Abbey had still shared that kind of physical excitement in each other, nor that aching need to be together. They were truly two halves of a whole and he really hadn't realized how much he envied that until he had divorced Jenny and been made to face the fact that he had never been in a marriage like that – never known that kind of love and connection. 

He leaned back and sighed, still eyeing Jordan's phone number. He remembered her words New Year's Eve when she had told him not to give her a call until he had sorted out his feelings for Abigail Bartlet. A part of him thought he could do that with everything that had happened with Marcus Hughes. It had seemed almost sacrilegious to think of Abbey sexually when she had almost been raped. Yet, here they were just a few weeks later, and in Abbey's office he had felt that pull of sexual attraction. He shut the address book. No, he hadn't sorted his feelings for Abbey out yet, but he had a feeling he better do just that before Jed found out; because if Jed EVER found out then all hell would break loose. 


	2. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Jed stood outside the party listening to the laughter and music spill over into the night. He leaned wearily against a pillar, hiding in the shadows, his heart heavy with guilt. The evening had started out with such optimism. Well, for him anyway. Abbey had been consumed with a kind of foreboding anxiety, but then that had been the case for weeks now. Her barely simmering anger was merely a symptom of the fear she had felt presenting herself to the medical review board. But, he had been bouncing with optimism. At least that was the impression that he tried to give his wife. He HAD to believe that everything was going to work out for her, because the alternative was too painful to comprehend. If she lost her medical license, it would be because of him and he wasn't sure if he could stand that. Now, it looked like that might be the exact scenario that was unfolding all around him. CJ had just crushed his confident belief that everything would work out all right for Abbey by telling him that Robert Nolan was going to step down from the board because of his friendship and close ties to the first couple. Without Nolan's swing vote, he was quite sure that Abbey was going to lose her license. 

Jed's throat tightened at the thought. Being a doctor was as much a part of Abbey as being a teacher or a politician was to him. This was going to devastate her. His mind wandered back in time, seeing her as she had been while in medical school. The way he had found her night after night, sleeping nose first in a heavy medical tome. The way he would bounce little Elizabeth on his knee while quizzing her with flashcards and learning almost as much as she did from Gray's Anatomy. He remembered the first time he had seen how cute she looked with her small form engulfed in hospital scrubs and how professional and sexy she was in her high heels and white lab coat. He remembered how her face had lit with pride when she was finally able to wear the name pin that read "Abigail Bartlet, M.D.". M.D. – medical doctor – it was a profession filled with incredible ups and downs, just as in politics. There were nights when she came home bursting with energy having just saved a patient that she had been sure was a hopeless cause; and other nights when she could barely make it up the porch stairs, having lost a patient that she thought for sure would make it. He had shared in her joy and comforted her through her sorrow. They had been there for each other through all the ups and downs of their respective professions and now, because of him, she was going to lose that part of herself. 

He made his way back to the party, standing just outside the French doors to stare inside. His eyes were drawn immediately to his wife. As usual, she was the center of attention. People were lined up around her wanting to have their pictures taken with the First Lady. Abbey was smiling dutifully and acting as if she didn't have a care in the world. While in the privacy of their home, Abbey allowed her emotions free reign; but she had been a doctor and a politician's wife for so long, it was easy for her to hide her real emotions in public. She would never allow anyone to see how she had been hurt; never allow them the satisfaction of seeing her pain. 

Jed heard her laughter filter across the room. That wonderful laugh and that radiant smile. They were what had first attracted him to Abbey all those years ago at a frat party at Notre Dame. It hadn't been her magnificent breasts, as Lord John had suggested, and Abbey had agreed was so. Not that they weren't magnificent, of course, but it had been that engaging laugh and the easy, cheerful, delight that she took in life that had made his more serious heart flutter with the first stirrings of attraction. Nobody could turn it on like Abbey could, and none of the guests would believe that she wasn't having a simply marvelous time. That is, unless you knew her well. Unless you knew her better than you knew yourself. Unless you knew her the way that Jed did. He was able to see the anxiety that shone brightly in her eyes and the strain in her smile that spoke volumes about her state of mind tonight. 

He watched CJ approach her. He had been the one to tell CJ to let Abbey know about Nolan. But, as he watched the taller, willowy woman approach his smaller, more curvaceous wife as if in slow motion, he wanted to reach out a hand and stop her. He wanted to stop all this from happening. He felt his breath tightening in his chest as he watched Abbey smile up at CJ and saw that smile fall from her face as CJ began to speak to her. He felt the burn of tears in his eyes as he watched the impact her words made in the stunned look that crossed Abbey's lovely features. He could almost see the tears glistening in her eyes and the way she squared her shoulders and pulled herself together. He couldn't hear what she said but he saw the determined look on her face and the way the two women grabbed champagne bottles and made their way through the crowd. Somehow, some way, he had to make this up to her. He knew that Leo and the rest of the senior staff would want to kill him. They had all warned him against interference, but dammit, this was Abbey. This was the woman who meant more to him than anything in the world. There was no way that he was going to stand idly by while a part of her was torn away, not if there was something that he could do to help her. 

* * * * 

Abbey re-entered the party with quite a little champagne buzz going. But, it was more than the buzz that was making her feel better. She had invited CJ, Amy, and later Donna up to the residence to drink away her pain. Oh, she had been quite ready for a little pity party but it hadn't quite turned out that way. She had been expecting sympathy and commiseration, but it turned out that all the other single women thought that she had it pretty darn good. They had expressed to her just how incredibly lucky she was to have a husband who loved her as much as Jed did, wonderful healthy children, a beautiful home, and as the First Lady, a pulpit from which to speak and change lives. No, instead of allowing her to wallow in self-pity, they had given her a swift kick in the ass. 

Deservedly so, she now mused. She had known for a long time that she would probably never be a surgeon again. Eight or even four years were a long time to be away from such a cutting edge career. Still, it was a part of her. 'Dr.' Abigail Bartlet – it was a huge part of who she was and would be no longer. She had snapped at the other women about Jed only getting a slap on the wrist while she was going to lose her career. She wished that she could take that back now. It made her sound like she wished that Jed had been forced to pay a higher price than he had. That wasn't what she had meant at all. She, more than anyone, knew what a toll the censure had had on her husband's fragile psyche. She had only meant that it didn't seem fair that she had to pay a higher price than him. The girls had forced her to see that it really wasn't anymore of a punishment than he had received. Her punishment was only going to be for a year – a year in which she wouldn't have been practicing medicine anyway. She could still be a doctor, if not a surgeon, again in four more years (yes, she was sure that Jed was going to win re-election). It would be different – probably a smaller practice or teaching at a medical school – but then that was what she would be looking for anyway. With six-year-old twins, and all that came with being an ex-President and First Lady, she couldn't see herself in such a high-pressure career anymore. 

She had been feeling sorry for herself for so long she hadn't seen the flip side of the coin. She hadn't been able to see just what a wonderful life she actually had and how she could save thousands of lives at a time by using her power as First Lady rather than doing it one by one as a doctor. Having realized that, there was only one tiny thing that stuck in her craw. She DESPISED the idea of giving those sanctimonious sons of bitches the satisfaction of slapping her on the wrist and taking her license away. But, there was another way. The germ of an idea had been planted when Amy told her how proud she had been to vote for Jed when he stood up and accepted the censure like a man. She had felt the same way. As much as it had hurt her to see Jed go through that and as painful as the aftermath of his re-birth had been, she knew it had been the right thing for him to do. He was able to move forward now without guilt. He had admitted his wrongdoing and taken the punishment. He had confessed and been given absolution. Maybe that was exactly what she needed to do. Donna had hit the nail on the head when she had said that she knew exactly what she was doing when she gave Jed the prescription medication made out in her name. The fact that she did it because she loved her husband with all her heart and would do anything in the world for him didn't make her any less culpable. She had been wrong and maybe now it was time to stand up and take her punishment the way that Jed had. Perhaps it was the only way for them to be able to move forward without any extra baggage hanging from them. The added benefit of pulling the rug out from under the review board and taking away their power over her was not lost on Abbey either. Suddenly, she felt much lighter as her burden slowly lifted off her shoulders. Now all that was left was to tell Jed and she knew that, sure as hell, was not going to be easy. Jed was a fighter, especially when it came to her. He was not going to take this well at all. 

* * * * 

Abbey knew when her husband led her away from their friends that he was all geared up for a famous Jed Bartlet pep talk. Leo had given her the dour, stiff upper lip speech. Now it was time for Jed to give her the uplifting "we can beat this" side of things. She had assumed correctly. He started right in telling her how he had begun to fix things for her. 

"I called Nolan." He put a hand up to ward off the argument he had thought she would start over that. "I know I shouldn't have, but I'm sorry the rules are different when it comes to my family and there isn't a man in America who doesn't understand that." 

Oh yes they were, Abbey thought. That was what had gotten her into this mess in the first place. 

"I also think partiality isn't a vice in this case. He knows you and that's a good thing. He's gonna consider not recusing himself." 

"I'm going to voluntarily give up my license for the duration of our stay in the White House." 

Jed's eyes widened with shock and he simply stared at his wife. He hadn't expected that. He had envisioned many responses to what he had just told Abbey, but that had not even been close. His wanted to emphatically tell her – NO. He wanted to tell her not to give up, not to let them do this to her. What stopped all his protests was the look in Abbey's eyes. He watched the tears pool in their luminous blue-green depths and he saw the pleading there as well. _'Please, please understand why I have to do this,'_ those beautiful eyes implored. _'Please, don't fight me on this. Please, understand.'_ Jed read it all very well, and in that moment, he did understand why she had to do this. His throat tightened as he struggled to keep his composure. Unable to bear the drama playing out in her eyes, his own gaze fell to the floor and then to the guests that surrounded them. There was so much to say and yet there was nothing to say, at least not here and now. 

Abbey watched Jed's emotions play across his sapphire eyes. The shock, the disbelief, the pain, and most of all the guilt. It was what she hadn't wanted to see and what made it all the more difficult for her. Watching his acceptance of her decision nearly did her in. She hadn't counted on it hurting this much to tell him. 

"OK," he stated gently, then glanced to his side as he was forced to remember that they were standing in the middle of a room full of people. "Now I'm going to tell the ditch-digger story, but I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much." He wanted so badly to pull her into his arms; tell her how terrible he felt about this and just how sorry he was. He wanted so badly just to reach out a hand and touch her. He knew, however, that his touch would not be welcome at this moment. He could see Abbey's own struggle with her feelings, the tears that were threatening, and he knew that if they touched the tenuous hold they both held on their emotions would be lost and now was not the time for that to happen. 

"I love you too, Jethro," she tried to lighten the moment as she usually did, by using humor. 

"Don't call me that." 

"I think I will." 

"ABIGAIL!" 

"Lord John," Abbey turned and smiled. Never had she been so relieved to see John Marbury. She and Jed had been in serious danger of getting much too heavy in the middle of a party. John was always good for lightening the mood, but she certainly was not prepared for what he did to lighten the mood this time. 

"May I grasp your breasts?" John approached her with his hands cupped just at her chest level. To her credit, Abbey didn't show her complete shock, did not even step back. John had always been an outrageous flirt and he LOVED to tweak Jed, but this was a bit much even for him. 

"I'm standing right here," Jed said sternly. He stepped forward to stop John from latching on to his wife's breasts if need be. 

"You may kiss my cheek," Abbey diffused the situation diplomatically and accepted his exuberant kiss to her cheek. 

* * * * 

Leo entered the party ready to apologize to Abbey and wish her a "Happy Birthday". He made his way across the dance floor but stopped when he saw Jed draw Abbey aside. He saw the pain etched on both of their faces and knew instinctively that the conversation had to be about the medical review board. Talking to Abbey about that topic earlier had been incredibly difficult for him. Tonight he had treated her as if she were just the candidate's wife, not his friend Abbey. Tonight he had advised her to hide her pain from the world and go on as if nothing had happened. Tonight he had wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything would be all right. But, that wasn't his role, had never been and never would be. No, tonight he had played bad cop just as he had so many times before; and for the first time in a while, Abbey had called him on it. He had been duly, if charmingly, chastised for bringing up the weighty topic at her birthday party. He still didn't know how that woman could get her point across so forcefully and still have a smile on her face. 

That smile was certainly gone now, he thought as he watched the plaintive, heartbreaking sadness in her eyes as she stared at her husband. Jed wasn't doing much better. His best friend had seemed bowed by melancholy all night. Now he stood squaring his shoulders as if trying to collect himself from whatever it was that he was feeling. Not wanting to interrupt them, Leo waited for the couple to part before going over to offer his best wishes. Lord John Marbury had no such qualms. 

"ABIGAIL!" He heard the man shout her name all the way across the dance floor. God, did the man always have to make such a spectacle of himself, Leo scowled. He didn't know how Jed and Abbey could stand him. His eyes widened with shock as he watched the man nearly cup his hands over Abbey's breasts. He started to step forward to stop him but came to a halt when he saw Jed do the same. He took a sharp breath as he realized his mistake. She wasn't his wife; it wasn't his place to be proprietary over her. Jed could handle any overzealous man making a play for his wife just fine on his own. He looked from side to side to see if anyone had witnessed his faux pas, and seeing that everyone was too busy watching Marbury make a fool of himself, he moved forward to wish Abbey a "Happy Birthday". 

* * * * 

Danny Concannon watched the scene unfolding across the dance floor with a keen professional interest. He was a reporter, a people watcher, and he had been watching Leo McGarry tonight like a hawk. Unaware that he was being scrutinized, Leo had given much away in body language and tone. Danny had seen the ache of longing on Leo's face as he watched the first couple talk. He had watched the outrage fill him as Marbury made his outrageous pass at the First Lady and the way he had stopped himself with a guilty side to side look to see if anyone had seen his reaction. He had seen the gentle, tender look in his eyes as he pulled Abbey away from John, and the sweetness of his tone as he wished her a "Happy Birthday." None of it had made sense to him before. It had been so far fetched, so way off base. Now he looked back at the picture he had been given and thought that it might not be so ludicrous after all. Maybe, just maybe, there was more to all this than he had given credence to. It was time to talk to CJ. 


	3. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Frustrated, Abbey scanned the room looking for her wayward husband. After their emotional interlude had been interrupted, they had both gone their separate ways. Neither had been anxious to test the delicate control each had been able to keep earlier. So, she had been drawn into a conversation with some old friends and Jed had moved on to work the room. Now, she was losing her earlier alcohol buzz and was starting to feel the maudlin effects of what had happened tonight. She wanted to go back to the residence and have Jed love her into oblivion. She didn't want to talk and she didn't want to think. She simply wanted to escape from reality and there were only two ways that she knew to go about doing that – drink until she passed out or lose herself with her husband's body. Since she wasn't much of a drinker and her second idea sounded like a lot more fun, she began to search for the one man who could assuage her pain. With Leo, Sam, and Josh all missing, along with Jed, she had a good idea of where she would find them. She grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter and headed out in pursuit. 

* * * * 

"You sure Abbey's not gonna be pissed that you left her party?" a worried Leo asked. 

"Nah, she was gabbing away with Phyllis and Susan, so I figured I'd better hightail it out of there before their good feelings toward me rubbed off on her." Jed picked up the beer he had left sitting on the pool table where Josh and Sam were playing a cutthroat game and he turned to watch Leo take his turn with the darts. 

"Well, well, well, so HERE is the testosterone crew," Abbey said, sweeping into the room All the men stopped what they were doing except for Jed. His tux coat discarded and his bow tie long gone, he picked up his darts and turned his attention to the board. 

"I didn't think you'd notice I'd gone," Jed said. He squinted his eye and began to take aim. 

"You guys playing for money?" she asked as she moved toward him with a swish of her crinoline skirts. 

"Of course," Jed said, affronted that she would think otherwise. "Now sssh… don't mess with my concentration. This is a twenty dollar shot here." 

"Sorry, I didn't realize the stakes were so high." Abbey rolled her eyes and stopped just beside him pretending interest in the shot he was about to make. Then, just as Jed was about to let the dart go she tiptoed up and blew softly in his ear. Startled, Jed jumped and his shot went extremely wide. 

"Abigail!" he exclaimed. "You just made me lose twenty bucks." 

Abbey merely gave a soft satisfied laugh and moved to the pool table. "Care to try and win it back?" He could see now that she was still a little tipsy. 

"Abbey, you don't play pool. It won't even be a contest," Jed protested. 

"What about it, fellas. Anyone want to take me on?" She grabbed a pool cue and leaned over the table to set up a shot. Jed noticed the spark of lusty admiration in Josh and Sam's eyes as both young men stared down his wife's dress at the ample cleavage she was exposing to them. 

"All right, all right, enough of that. Eyes back in their sockets gentlemen. Abbey…" He turned to his wife and pulled her back up so they couldn't look down her dress. 

"Don't you want to play with me, Josiah?" She gave him a playful, sexy pout and every man in that room knew they were just about to be booted out so the President could "play" with his provocative little wife. 

"Guys," Jed nudged his head toward the door, unmistakably wanting them to exit. The men complied with his wishes but not without a few raised eyebrows and sly grins. It was the thumbs up that Josh sent the President's way as he walked out the door, however, that earned him a cuff on the back of the head from Leo. 

"Hey, what was that for?" Josh whined. "I can't help it if that guy gets all the luck." 

"It's been a rough night for them. They need to talk." 

"I don't think there is going to be much talking going on in there tonight," Sam said with a lewd smile. Leo turned and gave him a stony glare and proceeded on ahead of them. He had a feeling that Sam was right. 

"What's up his ass?" Sam asked, puzzled. 

"Got me," Josh shrugged. 

* * * * 

"Abbey, instead of playing pool, I think that we should talk." Jed's tone was serious and Abbey knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. 

"I don't want to talk, Jed," she sighed tiredly. "Not tonight anyway. Tonight I want to play." 

"We play for serious money, you know. Think you can cover that?" 

Abbey began to dig in her purse. Jed watched with a smile as she emptied out lipstick, eyeliner, breath mints, everything but money. 

"Not even a nickel," she grumbled dejectedly. 

"Well then, I guess we'll be having that talk after all." 

Abbey began putting things back in her purse then looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "There is another way to make payment, you know." 

"Oh really, and pray tell what might that be, Madame First Lady." 

"I have a proposition for you." 

"Now, that does sound intriguing. I hope that you will remember that you are a respectable married woman." He pulled her up against his body and gave her a seductive grin. 

"Married, yes. But, do you really want me to be respectable?" 

"Hell no. What's your little proposition, sassy pants?" 

"Strip pool." 

"What?" he nearly stammered. 

"Instead of money, we'll play for clothes, or rather the taking off of clothes." 

"Now THAT is the best idea you've had in a long time." Jed could already feel his body starting to tingle with awareness. Abbey rarely played pool; he figured he could have her naked in less than ten minutes. 

"One rule though. NO touching." 

"What do you mean?" 

"We can't try to throw each other off by touching each other." 

"Now what kind of fun is that?" 

"Those are the rules. Do you agree?" She put her hand out. 

"All right, Bossy Bess," he grumbled, shaking her hand. "I agree but I want my protest duly noted." 

"Fine. It is duly noted." 

* * * * 

Abbey smiled as Jed ordered her to divest of her gown. She had known that he wouldn't have any patience and he was playing right into her hands. Had he started with her earrings and jewelry he might have been able to beat her, but she knew that the sooner she was down to her lingerie, the sooner she would be able to wrap him around her little finger. Oh yes, she knew exactly how to make him lose any and all concentration on the game. 

Jed's mouth went dry as he watched Abbey step out of the gown that had pooled at her feet. She stood before him, an erotic vision in a lacy demi-bra, provocative garter belt and stockings and spiked heels. The bra impudently pushed up the swells of her breasts and barely constrained them and her legs looked about a mile long. 

Abbey didn't miss the bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed, or the way that he averted his gaze to work on chalking his pool cue. She smiled and leaned forward in front of him so that he couldn't miss getting a good look at her cleavage. 

"Sorry," she smiled sweetly. "I'm just a little thirsty." She took his bottle of beer and tipped her head back for a swallow. 

By the time Jed bent down for his shot, his hand was shaking and it had nothing to do with his M.S.. Abbey watched him clench his fist to still the shaking and she bit back a very feminine smile. Jed gave her a quick glare and made his shot. It wasn't even close. 

"Oh, that's too bad," Abbey grinned. "My turn." She leaned over to make her shot resting her breasts on the felt green table. It was all Jed could do to keep from grabbing that delectable butt of hers. Why on earth had he agreed to no touching? Abbey made her shot and turned to survey him. He thought for sure that she'd go for his pants. "Take off your socks." 

"My socks?" he said with surprise. 

"Yes, your socks. When I make you strip down to your boxers, I want the black socks gone." 

Jed was glad he had to sit down to remove the socks, for he was able to hide the evidence of what her words about stripping him down had done to his body. He looked up to see her smiling down at him, full of the sexual power she held over him. That wicked girl, he mused with affection. She did love having the upper hand. Well, two could play at this game. 

"Want me to turn up the heat?" he whispered into her ear as she set up for her shot. 

"Why?" 

"The way your nipples are poking out of that bra I figured either you're cold or you want me pretty damn bad." 

Abbey put down her pool cue and turned to face him with a hand on her hip. 

"You're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?" 

"Hey, it's just an observation," he shrugged innocently. Abbey glanced down at herself and was chagrined to see that he was right. Her nipples were definitely straining against the lace. "Go ahead and turn up the heat," she sniffed haughtily. "I must be cold." 

Jed gave a deeply masculine chuckle and moved turn up the heat. Abbey missed her next shot. 

Jed took his pool cue and surveyed the table. Pretending she didn't notice exactly where he was looking, Abbey lifted one hip up onto the edge of the table displaying a long length of garter clad thigh. Jed's eyes lifted and he watched her take the beer bottle and run her tongue all around the rim before tipping her head back and taking a drink. His pulse began to race as her delicate throat swallowed the beer and he nearly groaned aloud when her small pink tongue came out to lick a drop of liquid off her full bottom lip. His penis jumped to life, aching for the same treatment that bottle was getting. 

"You're not playing fair," he admonished her. Abbey turned to him gratified to see his eyes heavy lidded now with desire. 

"I don't know what you mean, Josiah?" She was all wide-eyed innocence. "I was just thirsty." 

"Sure you were, darlin', sure you were." Of course he missed his next shot, while Abbey made hers. 

"Well, well…" She walked around him as if not sure what she wanted gone next. She knew all right. She wanted proof positive of the effect she was having on him. "Take off your pants." She stared him straight in the eye and ran her hand up and down the pool cue as she had stroked him so many times. 

If possible, Jed got even harder. "Now those are the words I love to hear. You want me pretty bad, don't you, babe?" 

Abbey's own pulse began to race with excitement as she saw exactly how hard Jed was for her, and she hadn't even touched him. "I'd say from the looks of things it's YOU who wants me pretty badly. It's either that or you've got a pool cue hiding in there." 

"This?" Jed looked down at himself and shrugged. "Oh, this is pretty much a constant state for me whenever you walk around in your underwear." He gave a knowing smile as he watched Abbey clench her thighs tightly together to ease the ache of anticipation for what was to come. She was certainly not as immune as she was pretending to be. She wanted him, and she wanted him bad. 

Abbey noticed his gaze centered on the lace-covered triangle between her thighs and felt it was time to regain the upper hand. She bent over to make her shot, the lace stretching over her round, delectable rear. She ran her fingers up and down the pool cue and Jed could no longer resist. 

He leaned over her from behind and squeezed her rear. "God, you've got a great ass, Mrs. Bartlet," he whispered into her ear. 

"Jed…you're cheating," she nearly moaned as she felt his hardness against her rear. 

"I've been known to do that." He nipped her earlobe. 

"Besides, I thought it was my magnificent breasts that did it for you." 

"It's your magnificent everything that does it for me." 

"Jed, if we quit now we'll never know who won," she groaned as he slid his hand under the lace to caress the naked flesh of her rear. 

"I think if we quit now we'll both win." He stood up and lifted her to face him. 

"Did you honestly think that we could finish a strip anything game?" He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. 

"No." She pulled his thumb into her mouth and bit the pad lightly. 

"Now, it's time for the garter and stockings to go." 

"You didn't win the shot, Jed." 

"Well then, I guess I'll have to do it myself." He grabbed her hips and lifted her – setting her bottom on the pool table. He parted her thighs and stood between them admiring the carnal sight that she made. She was leaning back on her hands in a position that arched her back and thrust her barely restrained breasts up at him. Her hair spilled back over her pale shoulders and down her back and her garter clad thighs were wide open to him. 

"Christ, Abigail," he bit out, "you do realize that right now you are the epitome of any boy's wet dream." 

Abbey gave a soft laugh. She felt sexy, and wanton and just a little bit naughty. It was a heady feeling, especially when she could see the desperate need for her glittering in Jed's beautiful eyes. This was exactly what she needed tonight, to see how much she was loved and needed and desired by her husband. "Yeah, well let's hope it ends a little better than a wet dream." 

"Nothing premature tonight, sweetheart. I think I'm up to the task." 

"Oh, I'd have to say that you are really UP for the task." She reached a hand out to play with the waistband of his boxers. 

"Not yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here." Jed ran his hands up Abbey's inner thighs, caressing the bare expanse of skin where her stockings attached to her garter belt. 

"God, you're beautiful," he sighed reverently. Abbey was surprised by the slight sting of tears those heartfelt words brought to her eyes. But, any thought of tears was forgotten as she watched Jed's capable fingers unfasten her garter belt. She watched with increasing desire as he intently and erotically rolled the silk stocking down her leg and pressed his lips along the soft skin of her inner thigh all the way down. He pulled the stocking off and looked up at her while he allowed it dangle from his fingertip. He looked incredibly rakish and sexy with his dress shirt unbuttoned to expose the soft hair that covered his masculine chest. His dark blond hair was hanging boyishly over his forehead, but there was nothing boyish in his hooded desire-filled eyes. With those eyes still intently on her, he lifted her foot and pressed his lips to the delicate arch before he moved on to work on her other stocking. This time while he rolled the stocking down her thigh, Abbey's scarlet red painted toe began to run up and down that band of hair that ran from his naval down into his boxers stopping every so often to caress the bulge that was lifted toward his belly. 

Finally, with both stockings and her garter discarded, Jed stood between the thighs of his completely exposed wife. Being up on her hands, Abbey was able to watch him bend his head and kiss her soft mound of curls. She gave a soft gasp at the first touch of his tongue but that was all she got as he took his quick taste and continued to kiss his way up her body. He paused briefly as he arrived at her still lace-covered breasts and he gazed up at her with glittering eyes and a half smile. 

"May I grasp your breasts?" he asked, in a pretty good British accent. 

"You may kiss…" Abbey teased, "…them if you like." 

"Oh, I'd like." Jed covered the soft swells with his hands kneading softly before he began to work at the front clasp to release them and do away with the bra. Abbey's hand instinctively moved to cover the barely discernible pale pink scratch marks on her breast. Jed had not made love to her since Marcus Hughes, and now she felt a bit self-conscious. 

"Don't, Abbey," he said as he pulled her hand away. "I love all of you." He bent his head and began to press soft, healing kisses to the faded scars. Before finishing with her breasts, he kissed each taut nipple. Abbey groaned with frustration when instead of taking them into his mouth, he continued up her neck and her jaw until he at last he reached her lips. When he did finally kiss her, she opened her mouth and drew his tongue inside, wanting him with a need that was so familiar, yet still urgent. She ran her fingers through his thick hair pressing his lips harder into hers. Jed's body began to react in an imitation of what was to come as he pressed his hips against her again and again so she could feel just how much he wanted her. Abbey pushed his shirt off his shoulders needing the contact with his bare torso. Before long, she had Jed moaning against her lips as she slipped a hand inside his boxers to stroke his satiny hard penis as she had stroked the pool cue earlier. 

"Now…now, Jed," Abbey sighed as she began to yank his boxers down over his hips. 

"Back to bossing me around, are you?" He started to grin but ended up groaning as Abbey wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and pulled him to her entrance. Unable to resist the moist heat of her, he slid deeply inside her with a soft moan of her name and pulled her body up against him. As always they fit perfectly together. Abbey rested her head on his shoulder, her breasts rubbing up against his chest hair and he gripped her hips to hold her in place while he thrust within her. 

Soft sighs, deep low moans, and excited whimpers soon filled the room in place of the earlier teasing banter, as all coherent thought left both Jed and Abbey in their straining need to mate. Within minutes, loud cries of release were added into the mix as they both tumbled over the precipice into shattering orgasms. 

Abbey's arms stayed wrapped tightly around Jed. She stroked his hair, his back, and his shoulders and with him still deeply embedded inside her, she began to cry. 

"Abbey?" He pulled back from her to look into her face. "Did I hurt you, Hon?" The concern on his face only made her cry harder. 

"No," she choked, burying her face into his neck. "Hold me, Jed…Please just hold me." She had thought that he could make her forget and he had for a short amount of time. But now it was still there, still hanging over her head. Tomorrow her life would change forever. Tomorrow she would no longer be a doctor. She clung to Jed sobbing for all that had been and all that she was losing. Jed did as he was asked. He held her tightly, stroked her hair and her back, telling her over and over how much he loved her. It was just what she wanted and needed to hear. But, when her sobs slowed to soft little hiccups, Jed withdrew from her body and lifted her chin gently to look into her wet eyes. 

"We need to talk, babe," he said, painfully. 

"I know," she whispered. 


	4. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Leo was sitting at his desk with his mind a million miles away when his senior staffers came knocking at the door. 

"To what do I owe this unexpected intrusion," he grumbled. 

"We just thought maybe we should prepare Mrs. Bartlet's statement about forfeiting her license," Sam said. 

"I've lined up interviews for her with some women's magazines, but we should probably talk to her about what she should and shouldn't say," CJ added. 

"Maybe we should bring her and the President in and go over this tonight," Toby suggested. 

Leo was only half listening to them, but he came to attention at that last statement. Maybe they should be brought in to discuss the interviews. At least that would stop them from… 

"I think the President and First Lady have other things on their mind tonight," Josh gave a bawdy laugh. 

"Josh, did you actually just giggle?" CJ lifted her brow at him. 

"It was NOT a giggle. GIRLS giggle." He crossed his arms over his chest and gave a sulky look to the press secretary. 

"Sounded like a giggle to me." Toby's quiet pronouncement caused more protest from Josh. 

"All right, enough with the high school boys locker room stuff." CJ put a hand up to quiet them. "What did you mean the President and First Lady have other things going on tonight?" 

Josh and Sam gave each other sidelong knowing grins. 

"When we left said couple, they were about to PLAY on the pool table, if you get my drift," Sam said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Yup a little badda bing, badda boo up on the table," Josh added. 

"A little music of the night." Sam was into the game now too. 

"A little love in…" 

"ENOUGH!" Leo's angry voice interrupted them and caused the amused smiles to leave everyone's faces. "Don't you people have anything better to do than wax poetic on the First Couple's sex life?" 

"Nothing, quite as fun," Josh's quiet comment brought a glare from Leo. 

"I have a meeting with the President and First Lady first thing in the morning. We'll make it a full staff meeting and you can all go over the message with them. Now, if that's all..." He pointed a finger to the doorway. The staff turned to leave. Leo didn't miss the puzzled glances they gave one another on the way out. 

Last to make it to the doorway, Toby turned to look at Leo. Leo could see the concern in his eyes. 

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked. "You've been in a bad mood all night and now you're biting everyone's head off for a little humor." 

"Excuse me for not being taken in by your juvenile jokes this evening, but maybe I don't find it funny to contemplate about the sex life of my best friends." 

"I'll be in my office for another hour or so if you want to talk." Toby shut the door quietly behind him. 

Great, Leo thought, as he walked down the hall on his way home. Now he'd really done it. He'd gone ballistic on the staff for making jokes he'd heard a hundred times before, all because he didn't want to think about what was going on in that recreation room – on that pool table. Talk about raising suspicions. He was completely losing control over his feelings for his best friend's wife and he was afraid that it was only a matter of time before someone saw right through him. The thought scared him to death. He couldn't believe how much these feelings had grown in just a couple of years. Tonight, as he'd walked away from that recreation room he had actually tried to think of a way to interrupt the couple with some type of Situation Room crisis. He had rebuked himself right away for the thought, but still, it had been there. Jed and Abbey were married; they had every right to make love in all manners of ways and he had NO right to be upset by that. Still, no matter how much he rationalized that within himself, he WAS upset by it all. 

Leo glanced up and realized that he had unconsciously turned down the hall where the recreation room was located. He gave a sigh of relief at not seeing the Secret Service agents outside the door and knew the couple must be finished playing. He continued down the hall and slowly entered the room as if afraid of what he might see. The couple was indeed gone, and the room had yet to be cleaned. He noticed a bottle of beer tipped over that was staining the felt on the pool table a darker green. He ran his fingers along the edge of the table his mind filled with the sounds of last summer – the sound of Abbey's very feminine moans and crying pleas of pleasure. Somehow, he knew that if these walls could talk, they would describe the same breathless, throaty cries. 

Why, oh why, did this have to hurt so much now, he wondered? Always before it had been a dull aching pain; why had it suddenly sharpened to such a degree that he felt a very real jealousy? He stared at the half empty bottle of beer with a yearning so strong it nearly brought him to his knees. Beer had never been his beverage of choice; no, he'd gone for the hard stuff. His father was a beer drunk; he had always felt he was a higher class of alcoholic than his dad was. Still, he could almost feel the liquid slide down his throat, feel the tingling in his limbs as the alcohol went to work. It was times like these when he realized how easy life used to be. Feel a little pain? Drink until you are oblivious. That had been the way he had dealt with things for so long that it was certainly tempting to fall back into the pattern. He went so far as to pick up the bottle. He stared down at it for a long moment and noticed Abbey's lipstick around the rim. It was like a slap to the face. Both Abbey and Jed had fought so hard to get him into rehab; they would be so disappointed in him if he fell off the wagon. He thought about the last night that Abbey had tried to convince him to get help and how he had treated her. That old feeling of self-loathing was overwhelming. No, he owed it to her, to Jed, to Mallory, and most of all to himself, not to destroy everything that he had become for a few hours of numbness. 

He put the bottle down and as he rounded the table he gave a soft groan at finding Abbey's discarded garter belt and silky stockings. She must have forgotten them when they left the room. He bent and lifted the items and began to run his finger over the silky smoothness. Her lingerie spoke volumes about Abbey as a person – delicate, classy, sensual and just a tad of provocative naughtiness. He started to drop the garments back on the floor, then on a whim stuffed them in his pocket. 

Oh Christ, he thought to himself. Now he was stealing her lingerie. Wasn't that exactly what Marcus Hughes had done? Hughes' obsession with Abbey had led him to hurt her and he never wanted to hurt her or Jed. Disgusted with himself, Leo withdrew the items and threw them back on the floor. Somehow he had to get a grip on himself. He had to get over this before everyone was able to see through him. It had come so close to happening so many times now. He didn't know how many lives that he had left, but it couldn't be many. 

* * * * 

"Well, we certainly make a dignified First Couple, don't we?" Jed asked as he entered their private kitchen in the residence. He was barefooted, wearing only the pants to his tux and his jacket without the shirt underneath. Abbey's lipstick was smeared on his jaw and neck and he carried her heavy dress over his arm. Slightly ahead of him and leaning into the refrigerator already, stood an equally barefoot Abbey. Her only attire was the white dress shirt that he had worn with his tux. Her hair was rumpled and her pale skin slightly reddened from his rough shaven jaw. They looked like they had been doing exactly what they had been doing and neither was particularly ashamed of that. 

"Sometimes dignity isn't all it's cracked up to be. Let's see, we have chocolate cake." Abbey dipped a finger into the icing, but before she could taste it, Jed grabbed her hand and sucked the frosting laden finger into his mouth. 

"Mmm…that's good." 

"I'm not really in the mood for cake." She reached into the freezer and pulled out a carton of coffee Häagen-Dazs. 

"Oh God, she's taking out the big guns," Jed teased. Whenever Abbey was down in the dumps or upset it was Häagen-Dazs she turned to. 

"I need comfort food." 

"Well, I'll take a piece of the cake." 

Normally, Abbey would have ridden his butt about eating all that sugar so late at night, but they both had been too upset earlier in the evening to enjoy the elaborate meal that he had planned. Now, thanks to some great sex, they were both ravenous. 

Jed sat at the table with his chocolate cake and a tall glass of icy milk. Abbey lifted herself up onto the counter and propped her toes on the chair next to him. His shirt barely came to mid-thigh and Jed couldn't resist reaching out to caress her smooth bare leg every so often, more from his need to touch her than for a need to stimulate. He watched her as she began eat straight out of the container. She was staring into it deeply, as if it held all the secrets of the universe. He could see that she was studiously avoiding the conversation she didn't want to have this evening. But, he couldn't have this hanging over them. When they spoke with the press in the morning, he wanted to know all the ins and outs of Abbey's decision – what was in her heart as well as what was in her mind. 

"You're awfully quiet," he finally mused, breaking the silence. 

"I don't know where to start." 

"Why don't you tell me what happened." 

"When?" 

"When I finished making love to you and you burst into tears." 

"I thought you liked it when I cried after an orgasm." She tried for lightness. 

"Don't be a smart-ass, Abbey," he said sadly. "Not tonight. I like tears of passion. I DON'T like it when you cry like your heart is breaking." 

"It was breaking," she said softly. "At least a part of it was. I tried so hard all night long to be strong, put on a good face and not let anyone see me sweat. I didn't want to cry." 

"Why not? You deserved a good cry." 

"Crying doesn't help. It only makes you look like crap." 

"Ah, Abbey, you could cry all day and not look like crap." He gave her a rueful smile and cupped the side of her cheek. 

Abbey took his hand and pulled it away to kiss his palm. "Jed, you are so full of shit." She shook her head at him and he smiled. 

"Why didn't you come and talk to me?" 

"Because I was angry with you. At least I wanted to be angry with you." 

"But you came looking for me anyway?" 

"I went looking for you after we talked and I wasn't angry anymore. I know I didn't say it at the time, but you can't know how much it meant to me that you went bat for me." 

"What?" He looked confused. 

"You called Nolan and tried to persuade him not to leave the review board. I talked to Leo and Josh and CJ. Everyone on your staff tried to persuade you not to make that call." She reached up and pushed a lock of hair back off his forehead and stared deeply into the cerulean eyes that were gazing at her so earnestly. "You didn't listen to any of them. You put what you thought was best for me above politics and perception. You took a real risk." 

"Yeah, I really laid myself in front of a train," he stated, bitterly mocking his own heroic moves. 

"Don't you downplay what you did, Jed. That call could have caused you some serious problems in the re-election campaign. You know the Republicans would have had a field day portraying you as pushing your power around to save your wife. You didn't think like a politician, though. You thought like a husband, and that's why I went to find you. I wanted to get away from the prying eyes. I wanted to forget everything that was happening." 

"And did you?" 

"Briefly." 

"Then, what happened?" 

"Nothing happened. You just loved me." 

"What?" His brow furrowed. "You've lost me, Abbey." 

"I wanted to be angry with you. I wanted somebody to blame. And then you looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen; you kissed the scars on my breast so tenderly it made my throat hurt, and then you touched me and made love to me as if you couldn't desire anything more." 

"And that's a bad thing?" 

"No, you fool. It was a wonderful thing. But when my body let go with release, so did my emotions. And then, when you thought you had hurt me, you looked at me with such concern. I just loved you so much in that moment that I lost it. All I felt was this overwhelming sadness for what I was losing. I didn't want to argue or be angry with you; I wanted to be comforted. THAT'S why I started to cry." 

Jed nodded and put down his fork. "But I am to blame, Abbey," he swallowed. "It's my fault that this is happening to you." He looked up at her with eyes so filled with pain it made her heart ache. 

"Don't you do that, Jed," she angrily jumped off the counter. 

"Do what?" 

"Take all the blame onto yourself. You never let anyone else be accountable. I know that your stupid ass father made you take the blame for everything: he blamed you because you were smarter than he was, he blamed you because you were wittier than he was, he blamed you because you were warmer than he was, he blamed you because people liked you and they didn't like him. NONE of that was YOUR fault, sweetheart, and THIS isn't your fault." She knelt in front of him and cupped his face in her palms to look into his eyes that were now filling with tears. 

"I don't blame you for this. I'm an adult, Jed. I had every opportunity NOT to do what I did. I know that you wouldn't have blamed me if I had refused. But I did it anyway – ME, Jed, not YOU. You're being pretty damn arrogant if you think you could make me do something that I didn't want to do. Besides, what did you say to me when I asked you why you decided to take the censure?" 

"I don't remember," he mumbled, trying to lower his head. 

"Of course you do." She tilted his chin back up so she could look him in the eye. "You said that you were doing it because it was the right thing to do. Because nobody takes responsibility for their mistakes anymore and you wanted to show the nation and your daughters that you were taking that responsibility. I want that too. I want to be able to look anyone in the face and tell them that I made a mistake and I rectified it. End of story." 

"But YOU might have won, Abbey. If Nolan doesn't re…" 

"No. It's over, Jed. I should have realized that from the start. I DID realize that from the start. It was Oliver who convinced me to fight. But, he wanted me to fight for a different reason. He wanted me to fight because they had no right to go after me in an effort to get to you, and he was right about that. I don't want to give them the chance to say, 'WE took Abbey Bartlet's medical license away'." Tears threatening, Abbey swallowed and bit her bottom lip to keep control. Once control was regained, she lifted her stubborn little chin and Jed saw the fiery determination under the tears. "I want to be able to look all my daughters, every citizen, every voter, in the eye and tell them that I voluntarily gave it up to make up for a mistake – a mistake that certainly would not have cost any other doctor his or her license. I went above and beyond what was expected of me." 

"But why do that? Why not say you'll give it up for a year? That's all they were going to hit you with." 

"The duration of our stay in the White House was for you." 

"For me?" 

"I know that you think part of the reason you are to blame is because you broke our deal. If you weren't running for re-election, none of this would be an issue." 

"It's the truth, isn't it?" 

"Yes," she agreed. "But I told you when I forgave you for that, that I was behind you 110%. The deal had nothing to do with me wanting to go home and be a doctor again. The deal was completely about your health." 

"Yes, but…" 

"No, no buts." She placed a finger over his lips. "Yes, I miss being a doctor, but being the First Lady has opened so many doors to me. YOU'VE given me that opportunity. Talking to CJ, Amy and Donna tonight, I realized that I haven't completely taken advantage of that. Sure I've fought for some things that I thought were important, but through it all, I still saw myself as Dr. Bartlet, not the First Lady. They helped me to see how much more that I could do if I would just accept the complete mantle and pulpit of the First Lady, and what better way to do that than to drop the title of doctor until I am no longer First Lady. After all, nobody calls you Dr. Bartlet anymore." She tried to smile and he ran his finger over the delicate curve of her cheek. 

"It's still gonna hurt, babe." 

"I know that. It's going to hurt every time I walk into a hospital and talk to the doctors and realize that I am no longer one of them. It's going to hurt every time I want to prescribe medicine for you or treat you. But, I just have to remember that being a doctor is not the sum of who I am, anymore than being a wife or a mother is. I am more than that." 

"You sure as hell are," he agreed. "You're the strongest damn woman I know and I love you to pieces. There are just two things that I have left to say and you have to let me say them." 

"OK." 

"First of all, I want to take my share of the responsibility in this matter and just tell you how very sorry that I am." 

"Apology accepted." She lifted his hand and kissed the palm again and he pulled her up against his chest. 

"And you will be a doctor again," he whispered into her hair. "They can't take away your brilliance, or your compassion, or the part of you that wants to heal. You have to believe me in this; you will be a doctor again." 

"I don't know why, but I do believe you." 

"You know," he smiled down at her, "I never did get a dance with the birthday girl. Care to trip the light?" 

"I'd love to, sir." She gave him a quick little curtsey and moved to turn on the radio that she kept on the counter. She felt a slight little pang in her chest at the apropos words of the song that was playing. 

_"Smile, though your heart is breaking…"_

Jed gave her a rueful half smile and held his hand out to her so he could pull her into his embrace. Abbey snuggled into to him as she had hundreds of times before. The feeling of his arms around her was so wonderfully familiar. She found that sweet spot where his neck joined his shoulder and rested her head there, the move as instinctive as breathing. She inhaled deeply the secret, warmly masculine scent there. Combinations of shampoo, soap, aftershave, sweat from their earlier exertions, and that particular male scent that was his and his alone. His hands were strong, rougher than hers were. He was a scholar but also a farmer. Those hands had done their share of farm work and splitting wood. She ran a finger softly over a callus on his palm and felt his other press harder into the small of her back. She felt small and safe and cherished. Her eyes were closed so she didn't notice when Jed slowly danced her over to the wall and hit the light switch plunging the kitchen into darkness save for the bright moonlight. 

Jed's eyes were not closed. They were wide open as he looked down at his petite wife. She was so small that holding her was one of the few times that he felt tall and powerful. The moonlight played over her fiery auburn hair. She'd tried to straighten with the blow dryer but the wavy curls were already coming back. He gathered up a handful of her coppery curls and buried his face into them, filling his nostrils with the scent of honeysuckle and lilacs. 

"God, I love your hair," he sighed. 

"And I love the way you smell," she murmured sleepily. They were barely swaying now to the music. Jed gazed down. Abbey's shirt was unbuttoned well below her chest and where it gaped open he saw the faint scars on her breast that she had tried to shield from him earlier. For the first time, he was able to look at them without rage coursing through his veins. He laid his palm flat against her breast, over the scars. Abbey gave a small start, but it was a healing move, not an erotic one. 

"Tonight was what it means to make love," he told her. "Remember what I told you a while back. One has NOTHING to do with the other." He began to trace a finger up and down the scratch marks. "Let what we did tonight erase what he did to you. Dream about lovemaking, not violence, and never, ever feel you have to hide something from me." 

Abbey swallowed tightly and she nodded against his shoulder. She hadn't even realized that he had noticed her self-consciousness when it came to the scars and her heart swelled with love for him. This was her man. This was what was important – flesh and blood – not a piece of paper that proclaimed her profession. 

"At least we're over the worst of it now," she said, kissing his jaw lightly. "No more fighting the congressional panel, no more fighting the review board. I'm so tired of fighting, Jed." 

"Me too, sweet cakes. Me too." 

* * * * 

"CJ," Danny poked his head into her office. "I really need to talk to you." 

"Can't it wait? I'm exhausted." 

"Nope. I think you'll want to speak to the President in the morning." He handed CJ a manila folder. She spared him a confused look, then opened it. Danny watched her eyes widen and her face pale with shock. She sank back weakly into her chair. Her shock was genuine and Danny knew that she was completely unaware of the goings on in the photo. 

"Oh my God," she finally sighed. "How can I go to the President with this?" 


	5. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"This," CJ looked down at the offending photo in her hand, "is completely ludicrous. I can't believe you even brought it to me, Danny. I mean come on, this amateur hour. This is _National Enquirer_. Someone obviously doctored this and…" 

"CJ, stop." Danny touched her shoulder, well aware of her ability to ramble on and on when she was nervous. "Do you honestly think that I would come to you with this if I hadn't already checked it out. It's not doctored." 

"Where did you get it?" 

"That's not important." 

"It sure as hell is. I want to know where you got this picture, Danny." 

"I'm not going to tell you that, CJ, but I will tell you that it was a person who would benefit from something like this getting out, which is why I made damn sure that it was not a doctored photo." 

"It HAS to be Danny. My God, I've known these people for four years now." 

"I feel the same way. That's why I brought it to you first. I followed Abbey Bartlet all through the campaign. I practically had unlimited access to her. I saw how extremely close she and the President are. I saw how she brightened up whenever their paths crossed. I was just as shocked, as you are to see this. That's why I want to know if there is some kind of explanation. I mean, I don't know how you'd explain that, but I wanted to give you a shot at it." 

"There is no way, Danny. She and the President are so close. You SAW them tonight. Even though they've been together forever, you can still see what they feel for each other in their eyes. When one of them walks into a room the other is in, there is some kind of magnetic pull between them that even I've been able to feel. Do you know how rare that is? Hell, the guys were all just joking tonight about how the President and First Lady were giving new meaning to the term 'recreation room'. I've never seen any…" Her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes against the images of last summer in Maine. Of sitting on the Bartlets' porch and the look of pure longing that filled Leo's eyes as he watched the President and First Lady all curled up and cuddling on the porch swing. She thought of all the averted glances and the strange suspicions she had had. And, even more damning, she remembered Leo's ire tonight with the guys over their jocularity about the First Couple getting it on on the pool table. He certainly hadn't been himself. 

"What is it, CJ? You've seen something, haven't you?" 

"No." CJ's answer was too quick, too forced. Danny knew that she was lying. 

"I've seen something, too. I was watching Leo tonight. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Marbury made those comments about grabbing the First Lady's boobs." 

"He was being protective," CJ defended her boss. 

"If that's all it was then why did he step forward like he was going to wring his neck, then step back when he saw the President move." 

"Like I said, Leo is old fashioned and he's protective of us women." 

"It was more than that, CJ, and I think you know it. The look that I saw after he made that move was one of pure guilt. He was looking all around to make sure that no one had seen him." 

"It's just so unbelievable." CJ glanced back down at the black and white photo. In that picture was something that just would not compute in her brain, something that defied any comprehension. Out on a patio and dressed in evening attire stood Leo McGarry and Abigail Bartlet. Only they weren't just standing, they were kissing, and in a way that suggested lovers, not friends. They were mouth to mouth and Leo had one hand on Abbey's rear. The material of her skirt was bunched up in his fist as he tried to lift it while his other hand was cupped neatly over her breast. 

"Do you think the President knows?" Danny asked. 

"Are you KIDDING me? I mean good lord, Danny. Are you out of your COTTON PICKING HEAD! IF, and I do mean this is a big IF, anything went on between Abbey and Leo, there is NO way that the President could know." 

"You sound pretty sure." 

"Oh, I'm positive. You may have traveled extensively with the First Lady, but I've done the same with the President and sometimes both of them. The man definitely has a jealous streak in him and he can be quite possessive when it comes to her. I mean, my God, it was a nightmare to get to him to appoint Ron Ehrlich as the new Fed. Chair, simply because he and Abbey once dated for a few months in college. How long ago was that? Certainly a lot longer than when this photo was taken. I can't imagine that the President would know about something like this and still have the kind of friendship that he has with Leo." 

"I see your point. I guess if I knew that my wife had an affair with my best friend, I wouldn't have appointed him my Chief of Staff and I certainly wouldn't want him to have as much access to her as Leo does." 

"They did not have an affair." 

"How do you know that?" 

"I don't, not for sure. But, somehow I just can't believe it of either of them. Yes, I've seen Leo give Abbey some looks, but hell she's always getting looks. I'd get those kind of looks too if I had a nice curvy body like that." 

"Abbey is pretty bodacious, but you're not so bad yourself," Danny grinned. "I happen to like my women long and lean." 

"Well, maybe you're an aberration. I didn't see Lord John Marbury salivating and asking to grasp my tiny little molehills." 

"He doesn't know what he missed," Danny said solemnly. 

"Somehow I don't think he's crying in his tea about it. But, what I'm trying to say is that whatever happened here, it couldn't have been an affair. No matter what he might feel for her, Leo loves the President. He is like a brother to him and he would never do anything to hurt him. And Abbey is completely wrapped up in the President. I've never seen her look or react to Leo in any way more than a sister/brother or best friend way. If Leo had been her lover, don't you think she might once in a while betray that?" 

"I don't know. All I know is THAT picture is definitely not two best friends kissing. Bring it to the President. If there is an explanation let me know. If not, be prepared for all hell to break loose." 

"When I show this picture to the President, all hell IS going to break loose," CJ muttered under her breath. 

* * * * 

With barely a few hours sleep, CJ found herself back at the White House for an early morning strategy session in the Oval Office. She couldn't help but eye the three principal players in the drama that had been running in her mind all night long. The First Lady sat on the couch wearing jeans and a simple blue checked blouse. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was sleepily sipping from a mug of hot coffee. CJ knew that in two hours Abbey would be sitting in front of the cameras in one of her professional First Lady suits, as she called them, charming her interviewers and dazzling them with her smile. But right now she was still simply Abbey, and as such, she was still tired and a little unsure of how her decision was going to go over. The fact that it had been a very difficult decision was apparent in the slight strain in her face and her monosyllabic answers to their questions. 

The same strain showed on the President's face as he sat beside his wife and took her hand in his while his staffers coached her on what she should say, how she should react and how he should react to any questions on the issue. There wasn't anything in their demeanor that CJ hadn't seen a hundred times before. That quiet supportiveness had been there since the first time she had met them and that had never wavered. 

Her attention turned to Leo. He was the wild card in this whole scenario. He was the only one both she and Danny had seen react out of character. This morning it was easy to see that he was trying to tip toe along the line between friendship and Chief of Staff. She could tell that it was hard for him to give Abbey orders and, instead, left that up to his underlings. Still, there was nothing overtly showing to suggest that he felt anything improper. 

As the meeting came to a close, Leo addressed an issue that had puzzled them all throughout the morning. 

"Sir, what exactly is all that banging outside?" 

"Those are the carpenters I hired to put together a swing set for the twins. I figured that if I had them set it up here in the garden, I can watch them play from my window and go out and visit." 

"Are they going to be banging like that all day?" he complained. "I won't be able to hear myself think." 

"Be thankful Jed's not putting it together himself," Abbey warned. "Remember that first swing set you put together when we moved to the farm?" 

"Be fair, Abbey," Jed protested. "The directions were in Spanish." 

"A language you happen to speak, darling mine. Anyway, he finishes putting the whole thing together and he tells me in his best frugal Yankee voice about all the waste involved by the company putting in all these 'extra' parts. He had a PILE of unused parts." She laughed softly at the memory. "So he picks up poor little Elizabeth and is going to put her on the swing and I just kept seeing that pile of parts and picturing that whole swing set collapsing on my little girl. I made him put her down and told him that I would try it out first." 

"What happened?" CJ grinned. 

"Yes, what did happen, dumpling?" Abbey batted her eyes sweetly at her husband. 

Jed muttered under his breath so that nobody could hear him. "You fell on you cute little ass." 

"I'm sorry. Did you say something, Jed? I don't think anyone heard you. Did any of you hear him?" 

"No," was the response from the room. 

Jed scowled at them. "I said that you FELL on your CUTE LITTLE ASS, OK?" 

"That's better," Abbey grinned and tweaked his chin. 

With the meeting over, CJ was feeling much better. She was more convinced than ever that there was just no way what happened in that picture had actually happened. Somehow, that photo had to be wrong. Sure that somehow it had to have been doctored, she made the decision to have her own experts check it out. She gathered her papers together, and as she turned to leave, it hit her as if she had walked into a brick wall. The look on Leo's face was the same look that she had seen on the Bartlets' porch in Maine. It was a combination of love and longing and pain. Feeling slightly nauseous, CJ turned to see what he was looking at. The President and First Lady were walking out the door together. The President's hand had slipped from the small of his wife's back down to rest intimately on her bottom. They were both still arguing and laughing over the earlier swing set story. 

When CJ turned back ready to confront Leo with his feelings, his eyes were shuttered and all the emotion was gone. Just like that he had closed them off. She had no way of knowing just how adept he had become at doing that. She had no idea of just how many years he had been closing himself off like that. 

Feeling disheartened and now very unsure that she would find the photo to be doctored, CJ left the Oval Office and made her way to hers. 

"You got a minute?" Toby asked. 

"Just about that. What's up?" 

"That's what I want to ask you. You were watching people like a hawk this morning – especially Leo. I know Danny saw you late last night. Is there something that I should know about?" 

"No, Toby. It's nothing," CJ lied. 

"Don't cover up for him, CJ. We need to confront this if we're going to help him. Leo's drinking again, isn't he?" 

"What?" CJ looked puzzled, then burst into laughter. "No, Toby, Leo is not drinking again. Why would you think that?" 

"I don't know. He's been acting strange lately. I mean the way he snapped at Sam and Josh yesterday was not like him. He's also been kind of jumpy lately as if he is guilty about something. Now today I see you watching every move he makes. I guess I just assumed you knew something that we didn't." 

CJ thought for a moment. She hated to show the picture to anyone until she knew its validity. Then again, maybe Toby could help her put it into perspective. She made a snap decision and pulled the 8x10 out of the manila envelope to hand to him. She watched Toby's eyes widen with disbelief and heard the low hiss of a whistle. Finally he looked up at her. 

"This is tabloid stuff, CJ. Why do you even have this? Who gave it to you?" 

"Danny Concannon." 

"DANNY gave this to you?" The hairs on the back of Toby's neck prickled at hearing the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist's name. With that name came an awareness of the ramifications that could occur if the photo were made public. "Danny doesn't deal in rumor and gossip," he said finally. 

"No, he doesn't. That's why he brought it to me first. If there is any kind of explanation for this, he wants to hear it." 

"What kind of explanation could there be? There is just no way this happened." 

"I thought the same thing. But, now I don't know." 

"Oh come on, CJ. Leo and ABBEY?" 

"I know it sounds ridiculous. But, I've seen the looks he gives her sometimes when he doesn't think anyone is watching. I can't explain it, but it isn't the pure lust or appreciation that I've seen in other men's eyes when they check her out. It's some kind of painful yearning. He's very good at hiding it, but I've seen it a few times now. I'm not crazy, Toby. Danny's seen it too." 

"And you honestly believe that he screwed around with his best friend's wife?" 

"No. That's the part that I can't reconcile. I can't see Leo or Abbey behaving that way. Abbey loves the President with all that she is." 

"And I know exactly how both of them feel about adultery. Way back, when I first met the President, I asked him to be straight with me and let me know, right from the start, if we had to worry about any bimbo eruptions. He flipped a gasket and I got my first glimpse of the famous Jed Bartlet temper. After lecturing me about the sacred vows of marriage, he told me that if he cheated on Abbey she would cut his balls off and then she would divorce him. I know he was joking about that last part but I don't think it was entirely a joke. Adultery is not a joking matter to him." 

"Abbey takes monogamy just as seriously," CJ concurred. "During the campaign she and I were talking about the same thing. Someone brought up our former President who didn't believe that he committed adultery because he had done everything but have intercourse with another woman. According to Abbey, that was complete crap. She told me that if you are married, even kissing a person other than your spouse is a form of adultery. She talked about how infidelity goes right to the heart of a marriage and that women seem to understand that better than men do, which is why fewer women cheat. She felt that there was absolutely nothing more destructive to a marriage than adultery and that it went against everything she was taught to believe in from both her parents and her church. I just can't believe that the woman who spoke so passionately about the importance of fidelity in a marriage could have even kissed another man, let alone her husband's best friend." 

As CJ spoke, Toby couldn't help but flash back to the previous night. Leo snapping at all of them for their jokes about the President and First Lady having sex on the pool table had been pretty much out of character for him. Yes, he did tend to reign them in when their humor got a little too risqué or if he felt they were not being respectful, but never had he snapped so angrily before. Later, as he was leaving the White House, he had seen Leo just outside the recreation room. Last night he had attributed the drawn and dejected posture as he shuffled down the hall to Leo being very tired. Now, he was beginning to wonder. Was there something to what CJ was saying? 

"There's one way to find out. You've got to ask them about it." 

"I know. I'm not looking forward to it." 

"Are you going to do it before they leave for New Hampshire or when they get back?" 

"I think I'll wait until they get back. Abbey's birthday party here was not exactly fun for her. I'll let her have her party." 

"How long did Danny give you?" 

"Not long. I'll have to do it as soon as they get back." 

"I don't envy you." 

"Really?" CJ lifted a brow at him sarcastically. "I thought you'd be fighting me for the chance to show him." 

"Leo's going to New Hampshire with them, isn't he?" Toby ignored her sarcasm. 

"Yes. He's going up for the party." 

"Damn. If what you say is true and the President catches him eyeing Abbey like that, there is going to be hell to pay." 

"Don't you think I know that? I can't imagine what will happen up there. I saw Marcus Hughes' bloody face after the President was through with him. I've seen the President's fury first hand when it comes to his wife. God help Leo if he's ever tried anything with Abbey." 


	6. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"Abbey, stop it." Jed slapped her hand as she tried to add more spices to the big pot of chili that he had simmering on the stove. "You shouldn't be cooking for your own birthday party." 

"Oh, give it up, Bartlet. You just don't want me touching your precious chili." She smacked him sharply on the rear. Jed grabbed a dishtowel and wound it up to whip at her jean-clad legs. Abbey shrieked and danced out of his reach. 

"OK, truce, truce," she laughed. Jed dropped the dishtowel to his side and with lightening speed Abbey pulled it from his fingertips to whack his rear again. 

"Hey, that's cheating," he protested and tried to grab for the towel. 

"Yeah, well I remember a certain someone who cheats when playing pool." She backed away from him lifting the towel up over her head. 

"And we both know how fun that turned out to be." He grinned at her and moved forward, but he didn't go for the towel. Instead, he grabbed her tiny waist and lifted her up and over his shoulder. 

"Jed, put me down!" Abbey squealed. Bent over his back, she began to pummel his rear with the sides of her fists. 

"You better be prepared to heal my sore butt tonight." He ran his hand suggestively over her soft rear. 

Leo coughed uncomfortably and shook the newspaper that he was reading at their kitchen table. 

"Are you planning on having us eat that chili tonight or letting it burn?" he asked. 

Both Abbey and Jed stopped laughing momentarily, and then Abbey lifted her head from Jed's back to look at Leo. "Wouldn't be the first time we let something burn to have a little fun." Both she and Jed began to laugh again and Leo shook his head. Jed moved to set Abbey down on her feet just as the kitchen door opened. 

"Are you two EVER going to grow up?" It was the teasingly disdainful voice of their eldest daughter. 

"Now what fun would that be, Elizabeth?" Jed asked. To prove his point, he spun Abbey around once before setting her back on her feet. He then turned around and opened his arms to hug his daughter. He got more than he bargained for when Annie came rushing in and threw herself at him so that he ended up with his arms filled with his girls. 

"I've missed you, Gramps," Annie tiptoed up to kiss his cheek. 

"I've missed you too, Tinkerbelle." 

"Grams," Annie rolled her eyes at Abbey. 

"Jed, we've discussed this. Annie does not want to be called Tinkerbelle anymore." 

"Tough noogies." Jed pinched his granddaughter's cheek. "I'll still be calling her Tinkerbelle when she is thirty. Right, Princess." He turned to Elizabeth. 

"Right, Papa dear." Elizabeth slid her arm around her father's waist. Annie pretended to scoff at them but secretly she loved it – that special sort of unconditional love. It was kind of nice to know that no matter how grown up she got, she could still come to this house and be her granddaddy's little Tinkerbelle. She looked at the smile her mother was beaming at him and with a small jolt she realized that her mom must feel the same way about coming home to be her daddy's princess. It was strange to think of her beautiful, totally competent mother sharing the need for that love. She turned to her grandmother who was eyeing them all with amusement. Abbey opened her arms to her, but Annie held back momentarily from those outstretched arms. She saw the look of hurt that crossed Abbey's face and felt a pang in her heart. She hadn't meant to add to the pain that her grandmother had been through recently. She walked slowly towards her and allowed herself be pulled into her embrace. At first she stood stiffly, but as her emotions took over, she wrapped her skinny arms around Abbey, squeezing her tightly and burying her face into her chest. 

"Hey, what's all this about?" Abbey asked as she stroked Annie's smooth long tresses. Jed gave her a puzzled look over their granddaughter's head. 

"I'm just glad you're all right," Annie choked. 

"Annie's been very upset about what happened in Maryland," Elizabeth explained. "I told her that you, Dad, and the babies were fine, but I don't think she believed me." 

"Honey, you could have called me." Abbey cupped the girl's cheeks in her palms and gazed into hazel eyes that mirrored her own. "You know you can call me anytime you're worried or upset." 

"I know, but I didn't want you to have to worry about me, too." 

"Well, as you can see, we're all fine." Jed rubbed Annie's back. 

"Besides, I worry more if I don't hear from you," Abbey admonished her. "Next time you call me." 

"Yes, ma'am," Annie grinned. It was Jed's grin – impish and playful. "Where are the babies, anyway?" she asked. 

Abbey chuckled as she pushed Annie's strawberry blond hair back from her face. "I wondered how long it would take you to ask. They're in their playpen in the living room with your great grandparents and your aunts." Annie flashed her a dimpled smile and raced off to see them. 

With everything settled down, Leo sat back and allowed himself to be enveloped by the warmth of the Bartlet family. They talked non-stop and teased each other mercilessly – their laughter filling the room as Jed stirred his chili and Abbey and Elizabeth chopped garlic for the marinating barbecued wings. They sang along with the radio and tripped over the dog that, since his return from the vet, had become even more attached to Abbey, shadowing her wherever she went. Jed and his "girls". Never was that man happier than he was when his clan of charming, lovely women surrounded him. He was completely devoted to them and loved them with a passion that was stunning in its intensity. Having Nicholas had just been icing on the cake. 

Leo could see the pleasure that Jed was taking at having the "old" Abbey back. After the tension of the past few weeks, he too was enjoying seeing Abbey relaxed and enjoying herself. Cooking together with her family was obviously just the medicine she needed. He watched her flash Jed a smile as they heard the twins giggling in the other room while Annie sang "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to them. Nothing could match the healing balm of family. He had never truly appreciated how important that was. It was hard for him, at this late a date, to realize all that he had missed by not embracing family life when he had actually had a family. Since Jenny had divorced him, he didn't even have the illusion of family. He had Mallory and he loved his daughter more than anyone on earth, but it wasn't the same as a large warm family coming together like this. The hard part was that he had only himself to blame. Jenny had wanted all of this – all that Abbey had – and he had never been able to deliver. Contempt for his emotions filled him. Here he was hungering for Abbey and for this kind of family when he had never even given his family a chance at becoming this. 

The clatter of something hitting the floor drew Leo's attention back to the present. 

"What is this stick, Dad?" Elizabeth asked. She held out a long wooden ruler toward her father. 

"Since we weren't at home, I measured Nicholas' and Aislinn's height on their birthday and now I can put it on the wall here." 

"Why don't you just do it now?" Leo asked. 

"Because it wouldn't be an accurate presentation of their height at one year." Jed looked at him as if he were daft. 

"Aren't they one now?" 

"They are fifteen months right now. I measure the kids on their BIRTHDAYS. If I measure them today, it shows how tall they are at fifteen months not twelve months." 

"It's only three months difference…" Leo trailed off as he saw Abbey put her hand up to stop him. 

"Don't even go down that path, Leo," she warned him. "You won't get anywhere. The kids get measured on their birthdays. End of story." 

Jed grabbed the dishtowel again and teased her by wagging it towards her with a rakish wink. 

"If you want that healing rubdown, you better drop that towel." She flexed her fingers intimating the squeezing of a massage. 

Jed gave her a long look and thought of her straddled over him her fingers kneading his rear. He gave her a quick grin and tossed his dishtowel at her. 

"I concede." 

* * * * 

With all their friends gone and just family left, Jed relaxed in his recliner rocking Aislinn who wasn't feeling well. His father-in-law sat on the couch holding Nicholas while the baby drank his bottle and Leo sat just to his right. All three men were engrossed in a Celtics game on TV and Jed didn't notice Aislinn's discomfort until she spit her pacifier out and began to whimper and squirm against him. 

"Dadda…dadda…" she whined. 

"I'm right here, sunshine." Jed kissed the top of her tawny little head. "Daddy's right here." 

"Dadda…" she suddenly gave a sharp cry and Jed knew exactly what was going to happen, but wasn't quick enough to prevent it from happening on him. Before he could move, Aislinn threw up all over the front of his shirt and began to cry. 

"Oh shit!" Jed exclaimed. 

"Sit!" Nicholas mimicked. 

"Hey, hey that's enough of that, sport." Jed gave his son a stern look then turned back to his daughter. "It's OK, sweetheart. Daddy isn't mad. I didn't mean to yell." He was trying to comfort his daughter and peel the shirt away from his chest. "ABBEY!" he bellowed. 

"Ahh…bby!" Nicholas repeated, trying to imitate his father's bellow. Well, it was better than 'shit', Jed thought. Just as Leo was moving to take Aislinn, Abbey appeared in the doorway with Max right behind her. 

"What are you yelling about in here?" she asked. "Can't you ever just call me like a normal person?" 

"Mama," Aislinn whimpered and stretched her arms out to Abbey who took her from Jed. 

"Your daughter just threw up all over me." Jed grimaced and quickly moved to discard his soiled shirt. 

"MY daughter?" Abbey lifted a brow at him. 

"MY sweet, angelic daughter would never throw up on her dear old dad." 

"Ahh…bby," Nicholas grinned at his mother. 

"He just said my name," Abbey smiled. Jed knew she wouldn't be smiling for long if she found out what else he had just learned. But, maybe the boy wouldn't give him away. 

"Sit," Nicholas laughed. Damn, Jed took a deep breath waiting for the outburst. 

"Why does he want me to sit?" Abbey asked as she began to strip Aislinn out of her sleeper. 

"Sit…sit…" 

"Nicholas, enough," Jed hissed at his son. 

"He's not telling me to sit, is he?" Abbey's eyes narrowed. 

"Sure he is. He wants his mom to sit with him." 

"Josiah, did you curse in front of this child?" 

"Ah, Abbey, give me a break. Aislinn had just thrown up on me. It was an instant…" Jed was cut off by Michael's sharp intake of breath at seeing the angry red scar that ran down the top of Jed's arm. Jed looked down to see what had caused his father-in-law to react with such consternation. When he had stripped off his shirt, he had totally forgotten what that would reveal. Abbey had taken the stitches out of his stab wound the previous week, but it was still a nasty looking scar at the moment. 

"What the hell happened to you, son?" 

"Nothing," Jed lied. "It was just an accident. I…" 

"Bullshit, that scar was not made by an accident. It…" 

"Sit…sit…" Nicholas mimicked again. 

"OK, guys, let's try to keep it clean around the kids." Abbey glared at the two men she adored. "Elizabeth. Zoey," she called out to her remaining daughters. "Could you please clean the kids up and put them to bed. Your dad and I need to talk to your grandparents." 

"OK, Mom." The girls took the twins with Leo close on their heels. He felt totally out of place being in the middle of the family discussion he knew was coming. Beth and Emily approached the living room with puzzled looks. 

"Josiah," Emily gasped softly when she saw her son's arm. 

"It's all right, Mom. It doesn't hurt anymore." 

"You two kids better come clean with us right now," Michael said sternly. Abbey almost had to chuckle at her husband, the President of the United States, being treated like a recalcitrant child. "Jed, every time you nick yourself with a razor it's on the six o'clock news. How did this happen to you without anyone knowing?" 

"Because nobody does know. Nobody but Abbey, some of my senior staff, and the head of my Secret Service detail." 

"What happened to you, Josiah?" Emily laid her fingers on his forearm. Jed was touched by the intimacy. His mother was so rarely touchy/feely it was almost worth getting stabbed to get that kind of reaction from her. 

"I was stabbed." 

Gasps of surprise and horror filled the room. 

"Who?" Michael asked tightly. "Who did that to you?" But, he had known who it was before he had asked the question. There was only one person that it could be. His mind rebelled at the image of his daughter's rapist, and for one brief moment, he didn't want to know how it had happened. He didn't want to hear what that that bastard had done to Abbey. Deep in his heart, Michael prayed that his son-in-law had been wounded protecting or defending his daughter and not in vindication for something unspeakable that had been done to her. 

Beth saw her daughter's eyes fill with tears; she knew who it was as well. She moved to sit beside Abbey on the couch and took her daughter's hand for moral support. Jed held her other hand. 

"Marcus Hughes." Jed said flatly. 

Although Beth had known what he would say, she still felt a wave of pain and anger. "You told us nothing more happened than what you told the press. You lied to us." Her tone was one of angry betrayal. Then she turned to look into her daughter's pale face. She thought about the headlines of those tabloids intimating that things had gone further than the White House was admitting. Abbey watched the alarm rise in her mother's eyes and the way her fingers moved to cover her mouth. 

"Abbey…" Her daughter's name came out as an agonized whisper and Abbey knew exactly what she was thinking. She heard her father choke back a groan of dismay. 

"No." Abbey shook her head. "We didn't lie to you about that. He didn't rape me again. He came pretty damn close, but thanks to Jed he didn't" 

"Actually it was Abbey's quick thinking that helped her to get away," Jed stated gallantly. In their press and parental versions, they had glossed over what had been done to Nicholas. Now, Abbey did the same, but Michael caught the omission right away. 

"How did Hughes get you to the bedroom after he shot Max? Why did he stop threatening the children?" 

The room was dead silent and it was obvious that Abbey didn't want to answer the question. 

"It's OK, babe," Jed encouraged her. "They aren't going to judge you. Tell them." 

Abbey took a deep fortifying breath. "Because I went with him." Her eyes were downcast and the words were spoken so softly that nobody could hear what she said. 

"What did you say, honey?" Beth asked. She lifted Abbey's chin and smoothed her hair back from her face much as Abbey had done earlier when comforting Annie. 

Abbey cleared her throat before continuing on. "I said, I went with him. He stopped threatening the children because I told him I would go with him and I would do whatever he wanted as long as he didn't hurt my babies." Abbey's eyes scanned the room looking for recriminations and condemnation. Instead, all she saw was pain and compassion. Even Emily's eyes were surprisingly devoid of criticism. She felt Jed's hand squeeze hers tightly for support and felt her mother shaking beside her. Before even looking at her, Abbey knew that she was crying. 

Michael turned to his wife who was now stroking their daughter's shoulder. Beth's eyes were overflowing with tears and he knew that she couldn't speak. "That was a very brave thing to do," Michael said finally, his voice husky with emotion. 

"BRAVE?" Abbey snorted. "I wasn't brave at all. I was completely scared to death. It was hardly courageous of me to give myself up to him. I didn't know how I was going to SURVIVE what he was going to do to me. 

"Abbey, before this happened, what was your greatest fear? I mean other than Jed or the kids being sick or injured." Michael knelt in front of his daughter and gently rubbed her knee. 

Abbey sat quietly for a moment, then took a shuddering breath. "Going through what I went through in Boston all over again. Marcus Hughes finding me and doing that again." 

"And that is exactly what happened. Your greatest fear came to pass and you didn't panic, you didn't freeze. You did what you had to do to save yourself and the children. Of course you were scared. True courage is facing something and dealing with it, even though you are scared to death. There is no courage without fear." 

"You kept those babies alive by sacrificing yourself," Beth said. "You bought the time needed for the cavalry to arrive. Do you know why you did that?" 

"Because that's what mother's do." Abbey gave her mother a watery smile. It was an old joke between the two. 

"But that still doesn't explain how Josiah got stabbed." Emily turned again to look at that awful scar marring her sons arm. 

"He got it saving my life." 

"Abbey," Jed protested. 

"You did Jed." Abbey skipped over what Marcus had been doing to her and simply spoke of Nicholas calling for her on the baby monitor. "I was able to break free, but as I started to run away Marcus tried to stab me. He would have gotten me right in the back of the neck, but Jed jumped in front of me and took the knife in his arm. 

Nobody seemed to know what to say in those first few moments after Abbey's shocking words. Beth was the first to rise to her feet and approach her son-in-law. How dear he was to her. She had fallen in love with him almost as quickly as Abbey had and over the years he had become more than just her daughter's husband, he had become her son. 

"Marrying you is the smartest thing that my daughter has ever done." She ran a loving hand over Jed's flushed cheek and kissed his forehead. 

Michael approached with an outstretched hand. "When you came to me and asked me for Abbey's hand in marriage, you told me that you would take care of her and protect her with your own life. You do know that I didn't require proof of that, don't you?" he teased. 

"Well, I thought I'd better keep my end of the bargain," Jed chuckled. 

"Seriously, son, how do I thank you for my daughter's life?" He looked down at the lovely, poised woman that Abbey had become and tugged softly on a cinnamon colored lock of hair the same way he had when she was child. "There isn't any way possible for me to do that." 

"There isn't any need for you to do it," Jed assured him. "Having Abbey by my side for the rest of my life is all the thanks that I need." 

The room quieted as Emily rose to her feet and stood before Jed. She reached a tentative hand out and shivered as she ran a finger up the long scar. Jed looked up into her eyes with bewilderment. He had been sure that she would criticize him for being foolish and not letting the Secret Service handle everything. 

"You're a hero, Josiah," she said softly. "A real hero." 

Abbey had been holding her breath awaiting her mother-in-law's reaction, and at the gently spoken words, she released it in relief. Oh, thank you, Emily, she thought as she closed her eyes briefly. Thank you for giving this moment to him. For the first time ever, her heart swelled with love for her mother-in-law. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes, not because of Emily's words, but because of the look of shocked adoration that crossed Jed's face. All his life he had needed and yearned for parental affirmation and finally, FINALLY, his mother was giving that to him. Her insides ached from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, just as she always did when she was confronted with the tangible evidence of her husband's lonely childhood. It hurt her so much to see the little boy inside the man that she loved. The little boy who had been ignored at best and abused at worst. A little boy always striving to be the best in the hopes that it would make his parents love him, or in his mother's case, express the love she held for him. A little boy who ached to be tucked in with snuggles and kisses, rather than the just the prayers for his soul. It was so easy to see that boy inside her husband, especially now with the emotion blazing from his beautiful blue eyes. 

"Thank you, Mother." He smiled at her warmly and stood as if to pull her into his embrace. Instead, Emily kissed him stiffly on the cheek. Abbey sighed. Oh well, she thought, Rome wasn't built in a day. One day Emily would finally be able to let go of all that reserve and just be herself. Today had been a damn good start. 

* * * * 

"So, did you enjoy this party a little more than your first one?" Jed was lying back on the bed watching Abbey brush her hair before bed as he asked. 

"Yes," she admitted. "Not to mention how nice it is to be home." She put her brush down and climbed into bed next to him snuggling up to his side. No matter how nice Harmony Point was, and she really did love it there, this old New Hampshire farm would always be home to her. This was the house whose walls held the echoes of her life: of crying babies and giggling little girls, of voices raised in anger and doors slamming shut, of the loud moans of lovemaking and even louder groans of childbirth. This was the house whose halls still reverberated with the sound of little running feet and through whose open windows she could still hear Jed laughing and the girls shrieking as he threw them into the icy cold pond. This was the house where she could stand on the porch and still hear the crack of the bat and see before her all those family softball games they used to have. She had come to know a love here of such overwhelming magnitude it could still consume her at times. Coming back here was like wrapping herself in an old worn favorite quilt and reveling in the comfort. After what had happened this past week to her career, it was nice to come home and wrap herself in that quilt of memories and to look forward to all the new memories that they would make. 

To that end, Abbey heard her youngest daughter whimpering on the monitor. Both she and Jed paused for a moment to see if the whimpers would turn into screams. When they didn't, Jed continued on. 

"You didn't get a chance to talk to your father about your medical license tonight." 

"No, I'm sure he'll corner me tomorrow." 

"You don't want to talk to him?" 

"Not particularly. I hate the thought of him being disappointed in me." 

"Abbey, he's not going to be disappointed in you. I'm sorry about taking my shirt off tonight. I know you didn't want to get into all that. If your dad hadn't seen my damned arm, you wouldn't have had to get into it all." 

"Jesus, Jed, don't apologize. Don't ever apologize for this." She lifted her head and began to run her lips softly up the scar. She couldn't help but view it as a badge of honor. "You saved my life." 

"That's what husbands do," he mimicked her earlier response to her mother. 

"Not all husbands… 

"Maa…ma…Maa…ma," Aislinn's whimpers did finally turn to cries for her mother, and Abbey could hear that Izzy was having trouble settling her down. 

"I better go." Abbey stood and belted her robe around her waist. She began to pad barefoot down the hall toward the nursery and bumped into Leo as he came up the stairs carrying a midnight snack back to his room. 

"Abbey!" He grabbed her arm to keep her balance. Barefoot, devoid of make up, her hair slightly disheveled from lying down and yawning sleepily, Abbey was even more irresistible to Leo than usual. Her bathrobe was only belted loosely and without her heels he was able to peer down into the cleavage her low cut silk nightgown revealed. He could see where the light, sun kissed freckles on her chest ended at the top of the creamy swells of her breasts. His urge was to pull her small frame into his arms and nuzzle into her tousled curls. To run his lips over the slender white column of her throat and slide his hand inside the top of that silky nightie to knead and caress the soft mounds of her breasts. He could almost feel his thumb gliding over her nipple and wondered just how responsive she would be to that. Would it instantly harden as he suspected or would she take more coaxing? 

"Leo?" Abbey looked at him puzzled. He was staring at her as if he was in a daze. 

"Maa…ma!" Aislinn's cries suddenly filled the hall and Leo jumped back as if he had been touched by fire. Guilt filled his eyes and his face turned red with embarrassment. Abbey was oblivious as to why he was reacting so skittishly. 

"Leo, honey, is something wrong? You're awfully jumpy tonight." 

"No…I'm fine…just tired I guess…I…" 

"Maaaa…maaaa! 

"I better get in there before she wakes up the whole house. Are you sure you're all right?" 

"Yes, I'm fine. Go take care of Aislinn." 

Abbey turned to enter the nursery. Instead of leaving right away, Leo watched her from the doorway for a moment. 

"Sssh…It's OK, little peach blossom. Mama's here. No need to get your knickers in an uproar." She took Aislinn from Izzy's arms and began to pace with her juggling her up and down soothingly. "My goodness, do you have a set of lungs. You sound just like your daddy when you bellow like that." After a few moments, Aislinn began to calm and her cries turned to sniffles. Abbey carried her to the rocking chair and slipped a pacifier into her mouth. She smiled gently down at her daughter as the baby snuggled into her chest. One small hand pushed at her breast with the remembered comfort of nursing there. Abbey tucked her daughter's head under her chin and began tenderly pushing the wispy sweat dampened curls off her forehead while humming softly to her. She was the picture of motherly devotion and it didn't take Aislinn long to settle down. Leo couldn't take his eyes off of her. 

"Leo?" Jed's voice startled him and Leo jumped back smacking his head against the doorframe. "I didn't mean to scare you, are you all right?" 

"Y…yes, I'm fine." Leo rubbed the back of his head. 

"What are you doing out here?" Jed peered around him to see what he had been looking at and smiled at the sweet sight of his wife rocking his daughter to sleep. His smile turned to puzzlement and he turned back to give his friend a perplexed look. Why had Leo been watching Abbey soothe Aislinn? 

Leo regained his wits and quickly worked to get himself out of the jam he had placed himself in. "I was just getting a midnight snack." He gestured down at the sandwich on his plate. "I saw Abbey go into the nursery and I wanted to say good-bye since I probably won't see her in the morning before I leave." 

"I thought you were going home with us the day after." 

"I decided to go back a day early and get some work done before my boss gets back." Leo tried to grin, but every emotion other than fear and guilt were very forced at the moment. 

"Guys, ssh…" Abbey placed a finger over her lips to them and placed a now sleeping Aislinn back into her crib. Jed slowly moved to her side and Leo watched him tenderly lift the covers over his daughter and give her rump an affectionate tap. Abbey slipped an arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder as they both gazed lovingly down at their child. Leo felt a lump rise in his throat and he turned to head toward his bedroom, thankful that he had decided to leave a day early. 

Jed kissed his pointer and middle fingers and pressed them to Aislinn's forehead then turned back around to convince Leo to stay another day. Upon seeing the doorway empty, he gave a confused look to Abbey. 

"What do you suppose has gotten into him tonight?" he asked. 

"Beats me?" Abbey shrugged. "Maybe it was seeing Jenny and Jeffrey again. That can't be easy for him, although I would think he'd be getting used to it by now. 

"I can't imagine that he could ever get used to seeing his wife with another man." 

"She's not his wife, Jed," Abbey reminded him. 

"I know," Jed sighed, "but it's still hard not to think of them as a couple." 

"For me too. But, Jenny's moved on. I wish Leo would. I want to see him happy. I haven't seen Leo happy in I don't know how long. I don't know what's holding him back." 

Jed opened the door to their bedroom and led Abbey inside. "I wish I knew," he said as he pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. "I wish I knew." 


	7. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"Boy, Leo was certainly in a hurry to get out of here this morning." Abbey yawned and rubbed at her sleepy eyes. It was barely seven a.m. and Leo was long gone. 

"I don't know what got into him," Jed said as he poured them each a cup of coffee. "He said something about wanting to get some work done before I got back, but I still think it had something to do with Jenny and Jeffrey." 

"Whatever happened between him and Jordan? I never even got a chance to meet her." She accepted the steaming mug from him and began to blow on it to cool it down. 

"I have no idea. You know how close mouthed Leo is. It took him weeks to tell me that he and Jenny were getting a divorce." 

"That was different." Abbey turned to place plastic bowls of oatmeal on the trays of the twins' high chairs and handed them each a small spoon. They were in the process of learning some table manners, but neither had quite adjusted yet. "He didn't want to tell you because he knew that you would be disappointed in him and that you might even be angry, given all that you had seen Jenny go through with him." 

"I guess," Jed shrugged. "I did think Jordan might have a shot with him. She's just his type. She doesn't take any guff from him and her career is just as important to her as his is to him. Everything seemed to go fine until New Year's Eve." 

"Well, maybe he just wasn't quite ready." Abbey's head turned as she felt something hit her on the forehead. She looked down to see two round Cheerio's and turned to see a grinning Nicholas. He had thrown his spoon on the floor and was busy using his finger food to get his mother's attention. 

"You do NOT throw food at your mother, young man," Jed informed him reproachfully. He bent down to pick up the spoon and handed it back to his son. "Eat your oatmeal with your spoon." 

Nicholas eyed his father and the two battled wills for a long moment before the toddler caved and dipped his spoon into the oatmeal somewhat awkwardly. Abbey raised a surprised eyebrow at Jed and he smiled back at her as they prepared to watch their son feed himself. Instead, Nicholas pushed the half upside down spoon at his sister. Aislinn opened her mouth for the bite of oatmeal her brother was offering her, but he didn't exactly have his parents' coordination when it came to feeding her. She ended up with oatmeal smeared on her nose and cheek. Aislinn giggled and wiped at the sticky food with her hand. She offered her chubby little finger to Nicholas who put it in his mouth to suck off the oatmeal. 

Abbey gave a deep sigh and rose to her feet to get a wash cloth. "At this rate, they will be eating like heathens until they are ten," she griped. Jed agreed but had to smile. They were so damn adorable. Having twins was so much different from having a single baby. The two children were attached to each other as closely as they were to him and Abbey. They babbled to each other in their own alien language, played together, and comforted each other. It was very sweet to watch at times, even if it did sometimes make things more difficult. 

Jed heard a banging on the stairs and turned to see Annie bringing down her suitcase. 

"Honey, let me help you with that." He got to his feet and approached the staircase. Annie regarded him with wide hurt, hazel eyes as he reached for her suitcase. 

"What is it, Annie?" he asked with a frown. 

"Nothing," she mumbled and continued down the stairs. Jed left the suitcase on the landing and followed her. 

"It's not 'nothing'. Something is bothering you. Can't you tell me what it is? Are you upset with me?" 

"Yes." 

"What have I done to make you angry?" 

"THIS." She yanked up the arm of his T-shirt to reveal the long red scar. Seeing it only made her eyes grow wider. "I HEARD you last night. You lied to me. You told me that you were FINE." 

Jed's eyes closed for a moment as he realized just what she had heard. "I didn't lie to you, Annie. I am fine and you shouldn't have been eavesdropping." 

"I wouldn't have to eavesdrop if everyone didn't treat me like a baby. I'm not a baby anymore. You don't have to keep hiding things from me." 

"We didn't hide it from you because we thought that you were a baby. We didn't tell anyone, mainly because it was over and we didn't want you all to worry." 

"I stuck up for you!" Annie's eyes blazed with anger and tears. 

"What are you talking about?" Jed looked up as he saw Abbey enter the room and stand with a hip against the doorway. 

"The kids at school. They all read that stuff in the _National Enquirer_. They said that Gram had been…you know… that, that guy had raped her like he did in Boston and you guys just didn't want anyone to know. They said that she was too embarrassed to report it. I told them that wasn't true. When you decided to run for President, Gram told me what happened to her so I wouldn't hear about it from somebody else. I thought that if it had happened to her this time, she would have told me. Now I just don't know." 

"You know I don't like to lie, Annie. And, I don't like it when people around me lie. No, I didn't tell you about my arm, but I had a good reason for that. A man that I respect very much did me a favor by letting me go to help your grandmother. He could lose his job for that and I didn't want that to happen. We did NOT lie to you about what happened to your grandmother. She was not raped again." 

"But he tried to, didn't he?" The defiance was gone from Annie's voice and she sounded very young and scared. 

"Yes, he did," Jed nodded. 

"And that's how you got stabbed – trying to stop him?" 

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Your grandmother got away from him and he tried to stab her. I got in the way." 

"He could have killed you guys." Annie's eyes filled with tears and she pressed her face into Jed's chest. "I thought he loved Gram; that's why he wanted to…you know…have sex with her. Why did he try to kill her?" 

"First of all, he didn't truly love your grandmother. He was mentally ill and obsessed with her. While rape IS a sexual act, it is more one of violence. There is a need to dominate and possess. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with what sex between two loving adults is like." 

"And you were never mad at Gram because of it? I mean like that article said, because of how she dresses and looks." 

Abbey's pleading, tormented words came rushing back to him then, _"Tell me again that it doesn't matter, Jed…Please tell me it doesn't matter."_ For months after it had happened, she would utter that same refrain over and over and he would have to reassure her every time he made love to her that it didn't matter to him, at least, not in the way that she thought. Now he looked over Annie's head at Abbey, leaning in the doorway, and stared straight into her eyes. "No," it was a choked whisper. "I was never angry with her. None of it was her fault. Your grandmother is who she is, and I happen to love her just exactly the way that she is." 

Abbey smiled tenderly at Jed's heartfelt words and moved forward to sit on the other side of Annie on the couch. "And if I had been attacked again, you can be sure that I wouldn't have been too embarrassed to report it. Too many women feel that way, honey. They feel like their husbands or boyfriends might not love them anymore; or that their parents or their co-workers will look at them differently. They are afraid that people won't believe them or that they will blame them. But, most of all, they feel ashamed and dirty and yes, even embarrassed." 

"Did you feel that way?" 

"Yes, at first I did," Abbey admitted. Jed took her hand squeezing softly to strengthen her resolve. He knew how hard it was for Abbey to discuss this with anyone else, but he also knew how important it was for Annie as a teenage girl to understand all of it. "I felt all those things. At first I just wanted to hide under the covers and pretend it never happened to me, but I knew that I couldn't do that. If I ignored what Hughes did to me, he would just come after me again, or do it to another woman. Going through a rape exam is almost like being violated all over again, but it was really important to me that he NOT get away with it. I was very lucky. I had the support of my husband." She lifted Jed's hand to her lips and kissed his palm. "And I had the support of my family and my friends and that is what got me through everything. Never be too embarrassed to seek justice, baby." She kissed Annie's forehead. 

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Gramps," Annie turned to him. "That was a really brave thing to do. When I grow up I want a husband just like you." She threw her arms around and his neck and snuggled up to him. 

"Of course you do, sweetheart," Jed's voice was husky with emotion. "They don't come any better." 

Annie laughed and turned to Abbey, "Is that true, Gram?" 

"We..eelll..." Abbey drew out the word and looked down as if checking the manicure on her fingernails, "he is starting to prove that he is useful to have around sometimes." 

"Starting! I'll show you starting." He began to tickle her and her shrieking laughter brought a sleepy Elizabeth down the hall through the kitchen. 

"God, you two really aren't ever going to grow up," she grumbled. Then her eyes widened with disbelief. "Mom, did you forget about something in the kitchen?" 

Abbey jumped up with alarm. She had been standing in the doorway watching the twins' breakfast shenanigans and listening to her husband's emotion wrought explanations to Annie, but had forgotten about the babies when she had moved to sit on the couch. She reached the doorway at the same time as Jed. Relief mingled with a resigned irritation as she saw that the two had smeared oatmeal into each other's hair and faces and were now laughingly dripping it down onto Max's head. The big dog was too busy licking what they had spilled on the floor to notice. 

Both she and Jed shook half-amused heads and at the same time they muttered, "Heathens." 

* * * * 

There was only a skeleton staff on duty in the West Wing while the President was away, but all of his senior staffers were busy at work. CJ was on her way to Toby's office when she passed Leo in the hall. He was so lost in thought that he walked right by her without even a greeting. 

"Leo?" CJ frowned. Leo stopped and turned. 

"What?" 

"Uh, what are you doing here?" 

"I happen to work here, CJ," he muttered and turned to go into his office. 

"No, why are you back? I thought you were coming back tomorrow with the President and his family." 

"I don't need to explain myself to you," he snapped angrily. "There is work here to be done." He entered his office slamming the door behind him. He immediately felt bad for taking CJ's head off. He wasn't angry with her. Well, he was in a way. He was angry with all of them, for they were all starting to see through him – first Toby, then CJ, and now even Abbey and Jed. 

Abbey, Jesus, the ache to touch her last night had nearly burned his hand. All night he had pictured slipping her robe from her shoulders and running his hands all over that incredible body. He could actually hear her sighs and moans and soft whimpers. He could almost remember what it had felt like to feel her breast cupped in his hand. But then he would remember that look on her face, a lost sort of confusion, and he was snapped back to reality. If Aislinn hadn't cried out for her in that moment, would she have caught on? Would she have questioned him? And more importantly, would he have caved in and told her exactly what he was feeling? He nearly groaned at the thought as he imagined how Jed would have responded to that. 

Jed, good lord, the man had nearly seen through him. He knew that if Jed had seen his face while he was gazing at Abbey and Aislinn it would have been all over. He hadn't hidden anything in that moment, and he was sure that Jed would have seen everything that he felt played out vividly across his face. And, if he had seen that, their friendship might be over right now. He knew Jed as well as he had known Jenny and Mallory. Abbey and the girls came first – they always had and always would. And, while he was not a domineering, possessive man, he could be a jealous man and he did have a strain of possessiveness when it came to his beautiful wife. If he thought for a minute that his best friend was fantasizing about snuggling up to his wife's breasts the way her daughter was doing, there was no telling what kind of explosion would occur. He was very fortunate that he had gotten away with it this time. Next time, he might not be so lucky. To that end, Leo decided to stay away from the temptation. Somehow he would have to keep his distance from Abbey. No more holiday visits to New Hampshire or friendly dinners at Harmony Point. He had to keep everything professional. It was the only thing that he could think to do that would keep either of them from finding out how he felt. 

* * * * 

CJ stared down at the manila folder on her desk. The President was in the Oval Office. It was time to find out exactly what this picture meant. Yesterday, she had almost shown it to Leo first – had even thought of showing it to Abbey – anything to get out of being the one to show it to Jed Bartlet. But, in the end, she had stuck to her original decision. Her first loyalty had to be to the President. If Leo and Abbey had done anything inappropriate, they might try to cover it up. The White House couldn't afford for that to happen, not with Danny Concannon on the case. She moved with a heavy heart and even heavier feet down the hall toward the Oval Office. 

"Mr. President," she nodded as she entered the room. 

"Hey CJ," he boomed, the way he did when he was in a buoyantly good mood. He was looking out one of the windows behind his desk. "Will you look at that. They got the swing set done. I can't wait to bring Nicky and Ash down to try it out." 

"That will be fun, sir." She hated this. The President had become like an overprotective big brother to her and she would have given anything not to be the one to hurt him like this. "There's, uh, something that I need to show you, sir. Danny Concannon brought it to me. He's keeping a lid on it until we can give him an explanation. Please tell me that you have an explanation." 

She handed him the folder and took an instinctive step back. Jed frowned at her, completely lost as to what could have her reacting in such a serious, nervous manner. He opened the folder and his breath caught in his throat. He staggered back against his desk as if someone had shoved him. The lines on his face became more pronounced and his square jaw tightened convulsively. The shattered man standing before her looked as if his entire world had just come crashing in around him, and CJ swore that she saw him age ten years in that moment. She had known from the instant he opened the folder that Jed Bartlet knew absolutely nothing about what had taken place in that photo and her heart bled for him. 

"Son of a BITCH," the painful words came out as a groan of despair. Then, after a deep shuddering breath, he turned frosty blue eyes on CJ and demanded, "Where the FUCK is Leo?" 


	8. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"Sir, I really don't think you should talk to him right now. Not while you are still so up…" CJ's voice trailed off as she made a grab for the President's arm and was shrugged off angrily as he strode toward the door that connected his office to that of his Chief of Staff. 

"I'm not going to TALK to him, CJ. I'm going to knock his damn teeth in." 

"Sir, WAIT." CJ gave one last attempt at stopping her boss before he flung the door open and stormed the room like a bull in a china shop. His furious gaze scanned the office wildly, and he became even more infuriated at finding it empty. 

"MARGARET!" he bellowed. Margaret entered the room with wide, fearful eyes. She had never heard the President yell for her in quite that tone. Seeing him red faced and breathing heavily only increased her trepidation. 

"Wh…what's wrong, sir?" her voice trembled. 

"Where the hell is Leo?" he ground out. 

"He's on the Hill. He has meetings this afternoon. He should be back by…" She stopped talking as the President ignored her explanation and stalked out of the room. Margaret's eyes widened further and her jaw dropped as she watched a frantic CJ chasing him down the hall. 

"Sir, where are you going?" CJ called out to his back. "We need to talk." Jed stopped and turned and the overwhelming agony on his face stopped CJ in her tracks. The man was suffering the torments of hell at the moment and she didn't have a clue as to how to help him. 

"I don't have an explanation for you, CJ," he spat out acidly. "But after I find my WIFE, I just might have one for you." He turned and strode off toward the East Wing. 

God help Abbey Bartlet, CJ thought as her hand moved on its own volition to cover her mouth. She had no doubt that if Leo had been in his office, the President would have been on him quicker than the Service could react. Instead, it was Abbey who was going to face that wrath. If the President's reaction to the picture was any indication, CJ wouldn't put it past him to throw Abbey out of the White House if she didn't have an acceptable explanation. She had been expecting an explosion and that was exactly what she had gotten. Still, somewhere deep inside, a part of her had truly believed that the President would look at the picture and start to laugh. That he would have some completely innocent explanation of what had happened. But, that certainly had not been the case. Now, he was on his way to confront his wife with her betrayal. Nothing good could come of that. She knew the saying was "Hell hath no fury like a WOMAN…", but men didn't react much better in these situations. How many times had she watched news reports of men killing their wives for cheating? Not that she thought the President would actually kill his wife, but if Abbey were guilty of betraying him, she would probably be facing a man she had never seen before. 

* * * * 

After storming Abbey's office much as he had Leo's, only to be told that Abbey, too, was out of the building at meetings, Jed returned to the residence to await his wife's arrival. 

He sat on the couch and stared down at the picture in his hand, the bile rising in his throat. He thought of Abbey, so radiantly beautiful in her white wedding gown, the candlelight catching the fiery highlights in her auburn hair. "Do you, Abigail Anne O'Neill, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to love, honor, and cherish him, keeping yourself only unto him, until death do you part?" Her sparkling green eyes had been filled with love and glistening with tears as she committed herself to him. "I do". 

I do, he thought, but had she? There in front of him was Abbey kissing Leo. Leo fondling her breast and trying to hike up her dress. How far had it gone? Had she slept with him? Had she loved him? He didn't know when exactly they had started, but he saw a tear drip from his jaw down onto the picture on his lap. He closed his eyes and rubbed his palms over his cheeks to brush them away. He didn't know how much longer he could bear the tight pain in his chest; it hurt just to breathe. Now he knew why they called it breaking your heart, because, at this very moment, he felt like his heart was being broken into a million pieces. Everything he had known to be true, to rely on, had been destroyed when he had seen that picture of his wife's betrayal. His world was completely shattering and all he could do was sit and try to breathe through the pain. 

He gazed down with tear blurred vision at the large gold wedding band he had been twisting on his finger. The ring Abbey had placed on his finger as a symbol of her loyalty to him. "Jed, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." 

How could she? How could his Abigail betray him like this? He had put all his love and trust into her, into their marriage; and if he didn't have this picture in his hand, there was no way he ever would have believed that she would be capable of that kind of treachery. He just could not reconcile the woman who gave up her medical license for him, the woman who had borne his children, the woman who told him that she loved him in so many little ways, the woman who made love to him with such abandon, with the adulterous woman in the arms of his best friend. 

His best friend, Jed thought with a snort. He couldn't look at that picture, at the way that Leo was holding Abbey without the overpowering urge to plant his fist in the man's face. He thought of the other night, of seeing Leo gazing in on Abbey rocking Aislinn to sleep. How could he have been so blind? There were so many signs that he had misread. Leo's solicitousness during Abbey's pregnancy – the way he had hovered over her and worried along with him about how small she was to give birth to twins. Jed had teased him back then about being a mother hen, but now he knew that the feelings were obviously more than that of a caring, worried friend. 

Then there were the admiring looks. There had been so many over the years, but Jed had never really paid much attention to them. He was used to the way men ogled his wife; he even secretly took pride in it, knowing how he was envied that Abbey was his. But, was she? Had Leo sampled his wife's lovely charms and been unable to let her go? He groaned aloud at the pain that that image caused. The image of Abbey laying under Leo arching her back toward him and moaning the way that she did when she wanted it bad. The image of her calling out Leo's name as he slid inside her, slid inside his WIFE. Jed's stomach clenched with a dry heave and he kicked out furiously at the coffee table knocking it over with a bang. He didn't know why, maybe because the level of betrayal was not quite so high, but his feelings toward Leo's disloyalty were much less crushing than what he felt about Abbey. Leo's deception caused fury and a need for punishment, Abbey's had completely staggered him and brought him to his knees. Had he been played a fool? Was he a cuckold? 

Finally, Jed placed the deplorable picture on the table where Abbey always set her purse when she returned home. He didn't want her to be able to miss it when she came in. Then he sat on the couch for he didn't know how long, waiting for her arrival. Afternoon turned to dusk and he simply sat there numbly not even noticing the passing of time. 

* * * * 

The door to their bedroom opened and Jed heard the kids fussing in the hall. 

"Stay with Izzy," Abbey called back over her shoulder. "I'll be right back over to play with you in a few minutes. Mama just needs to change out of her work clothes." She shut the door behind her and kicked off her high heels with a sigh. Moving into the room, she set her purse down then leaned over to turn on the little table lamp. Jed heard her sharp intake of breath as she saw the photo. He watched her reach for it, her eyes widening, her hand covering her mouth." 

"Oh my God," she moaned softly. "How did they find out?" 

Her reaction spurred Jed out of his numb state and he stood up. "So, CJ was right. It isn't doctored." 

Abbey jumped at her husband's voice and looked up to see his stony eyes shooting daggers at her. He watched a guilty flush rise in her cheeks and never had the urge to strike her been stronger inside him. He clenched his fists at his side and knew he had to get out of that room before he did something that he would regret for the rest of his life. 

"No, it isn't doctored," she admitted. "But, let me explain." 

"Explain what?" His voice dripped with icy disdain. "How you fucked around with my best friend behind my back? I sure hope that he was worth it, Abbey." He didn't even look at her as he passed her on his way to the door. 

"Jed, wait. Please let me explain," she pleaded. 

He turned back to her in the doorway; his eyes so filled with suffering it brought tears to her eyes. 

"I love you, Abbey. More than anyone on this earth, I love you. I guess my love has never been enough for anyone, has it?" 

Abbey rushed forward to grab at his arm as he turned to leave. "Jed, please stay here and talk," she beseeched him. 

"I can't talk to you right now, Abbey," he seethed as his sadness turned back to anger. He shrugged violently out of her grasp and Abbey watched in stunned disbelief as her husband slammed the door with all his might. She stared at the closed door for a few moments in complete shock over what had happened. How could Jed, her brilliant, funny, impossibly carnal husband, even think that she would want another man, let alone LEO? 

Her first reaction was one of outrage. She wanted to hunt her husband down and slap his face for not believing in her, not trusting her. After all these years of marriage, how in the hell could he not believe in her fidelity to him? He was the man she had been in love with since she was nineteen years old – the father of her children, the man whose arms she wanted to die in when she was old and gray. How could he ever believe that she would betray him? A part of her wanted to let him stew in his own misguided accusations, but she couldn't do that. The part of her that loved him unconditionally wouldn't let her. That part of her kept conjuring up the image of him as he had spoke of his love for her, of the abject suffering in his eyes and the heartbreaking sadness of him thinking that his love had never been enough for anyone. She looked back down at the picture and her hand began to shake. It was pretty damn incriminating. If she had seen Jed in a clinch like this with another woman, she might have jumped to the same conclusions. As much as she wanted Jed to come to the determination that he could trust her, on his own, Abbey knew she had to go to him. She had to find a way to make him listen to what had truly happened that night. In the long run, he would still be plenty angry, but at least he would not be tormented by the thought that she had betrayed him. Oh Leo, she thought, we're in big trouble. 

* * * * 

It wasn't very difficult for Abbey to ever find her husband. Where his agents were, he was, and right now they were standing outside of his study. She opened the door slowly, not sure of what she would find. Jed stood leaning against the fireplace. In one hand was a picture of the two of them in eveningwear on a cliff overlooking the ocean at their anniversary party last summer and in the other was a glass of scotch on the rocks. Abbey saw him flinch when he heard the door shut, but he didn't look up from his picture. She knew he heard her approaching but he still only stared at the picture. However, just as soon as she got close enough to touch, his voice stopped her. 

"I just need to know. Did you sleep with him?" The words came out tight and choked and Jed held his breath awaiting her answer. 

"Jed…" She touched his arm and he whirled around on her, his Scotch sloshing over his glass to spill over the front of her blouse. 

"DID YOU SCREW LEO?!" He shouted it at her, but Abbey refused to match his ire. Instead, she ignored her soaked blouse and took a step forward to cup his cheeks in her palms. She stared deeply into his tormented blue eyes. 

"No," she said simply. "No, Jed, I never screwed Leo. You're the only man that I've ever SCREWED." She started to turn away from him as she felt her anger rising, but he gripped her shoulder and kept her facing him. 

"Then why did you kiss him like that?" 

"It wasn't like what you saw in the picture." 

"Christ, Abbey, he had his hands full of your tits and ass, just how wasn't it like what I saw?" 

"Jed, shut up and stop being such a JACKASS." She watched his eyes widen with surprise and he stopped his belligerent tirade. "There, now that I have your attention, sit down, stop accusing me, and I will explain to you exactly what happened that night." 


	9. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Now that the time was at hand and Abbey was ready to tell him what had happened between her and Leo, Jed wasn't sure he was ready to hear it. He didn't know if he could bear the excruciating pain of hearing his wife say that she had been sexually attracted to another man, especially Leo. Even if she hadn't slept with him, which he did believe was the truth, as he still trusted her not to lie to him, that erotic kiss was enough to justify an accusation of adultery. It was enough to tear the fabric of their marriage, enough to rip them apart, and he certainly knew that he would never be ready for that. 

"Sit down, Jed," Abbey ordered him again. She tugged on his hand to pull him down beside her, but he was still resisting. He jerked his hand away from her and tore it through his hair with frustration. 

"I can't do this, Abbey," he ground out. "I need to get the hell out of here." He turned from her and began to stride for the door. 

"Don't you walk away from me, Jed!" she called out with combination of anger, pain and fear. "You CAN'T walk away from this!" 

Jed slowed at the pleading anguish in her voice but then continued to reach for the doorknob. Abbey watched him try to escape, knowing what he was thinking and hating him for it, hating him for not believing in her. Somehow, she knew that she had to get through to him and with eyes glistening with tears, she ran to the door to catch him. 

"He was DRUNK!" she cried. Jed stopped turning the knob and turned to face her with an incredulous look on his face. 

"What are you saying, Abbey?" he asked tightly. He took in the pale quality of her skin and the tears shimmering in her lovely eyes. Deep in his heart he knew exactly what she was saying, only he didn't want to hear this anymore than he had wanted to hear that she had feelings for Leo. 

"I think you know." The words came out as a choked whisper. 

"Oh God, I'm gonna KILL him!" He turned back to the doorknob but Abbey gripped his forearm tightly. 

"Stop it, Jed. You need to hear the whole story. You've gotten yourself all tied up in knots inside because of those damned insecurities of yours. Of course your love is enough for me. It always has been and it always will be. Did you honestly think that I was attracted to Leo in any way, shape or form? My God, just the thought gives me the willies. It's almost incestuous. I think of Leo as a brother-in-law, even more so, most of the time, than John and that is the way that I love him. I have never been physically attracted to him, ever." 

"Well, I can guarantee you that he doesn't think of you as a sister. Kissing you was not incestuous Abbey, adulterous maybe, but not incestuous. That was the kiss of a man who wanted to devour you. I've been there enough times to know." 

"Jed, he was drunk. He…" 

"Drunkenness is never an excuse, Abbey. I've seen the way he looks at you and he isn't drinking anymore." 

"You don't think he still…" she trailed off. 

"Yeah, I do think he still… I've seen the way he looks at you, but I figured that he just couldn't help it. You're a beautiful woman and he'd have to be blind not to see that. It never hit me until now that he might be lusting after you or that he might have acted on those feelings." 

"He doesn't, Jed. He was different then," she said softly. "You remember what he was like when he drank." 

"It's something I try to forget." 

"Well, you can't. You have to remember what he was like. That picture was taken the night of the D.N.C. fundraiser. The night after he called you from that seedy motel and you called me, scared to death that he was going to kill himself with the booze." 

"And I asked you to talk to him as a doctor and explain the damage that he was doing to his body." Slowly Abbey watched his face grow slack with understanding and a sickening dread filled his eyes. "Oh Jesus, I sent you outside to talk to him. That's when he made the play for you, isn't it?" 

Abbey nodded painfully. "It's OK, Jed." 

"Oh shit, Abbey, I'm so sorry," he groaned. Barely five years after she had been attacked, he had sent her right into the lion's den, totally unaware that his own best friend might prey on her. 

"It's all right, really. I mean it's not like he attacked me. He made a pass. I slapped his face. End of story." 

"Somehow I doubt it was that cut and dried. You tell me, Abs. I need to know. You owe me the truth." 

Abbey sighed knowing that it was time to get it all out in the open. She should never have promised Leo not to tell Jed. Nothing good ever came of keeping secrets in a relationship. This one was certainly blowing up in her face. "I'll tell you what happened, Jed, but you have to promise me to remember what Leo was like back then. He's not the same person that he is now." 

"Oh, I remember exactly what Leo was like as a drunk," Jed stated darkly. And remember he did. 

_(Washington D.C. 12 years earlier)_

Jed sat in the noisy bar watching with irritation as a blowsy bleached blond sat on Leo's lap pressing her half exposed breasts into his laughing face. 

"Leo, don't you think it's about time we get going. Jenny is probably holding dinner. I agreed to come out with you for one drink." Jed lifted his glass to show him that it was empty. 

"Leave it to you to be so literal," Leo slurred. He'd had at least five to Jed's one. "What're you in such a rush for anyway? Abbey got the apron strings tied a little tight? You gotta go rushing home like you do every weekend?" 

"I'm not going home this weekend," Jed scowled. "Abbey's coming down for the fundraiser tomorrow." 

"Ah, so that's why you aren't scurrying off like a good boy." 

"I don't scurry off, Leo. I have a family and they don't live down…." Jed's breath came out with a whoosh as another bleached blond plopped her butt down on his lap. 

"You're Congressman Bartlet, aren't you?" The blond began to run her fingers through Jed's hair. "Leo here has told us all about you, but he didn't tell us just how CUTE you are. Leo, how come you didn't tell me how good looking the Congressman is? 

"You think he's good looking?" Leo grinned. "Guess that's a matter of opinion." 

"Miss?" Jed tried to shove her off his lap but she wasn't budging. He'd been told about political groupies before moving to Washington, but somehow he hadn't imagined that there would be as many as there were. As a young, handsome Congressman, he'd been in hot demand. It had shocked him at first to have women that he didn't even know offer to have sex with him or at the very least give him a blowjob in the restroom. Now it had simply become routine to turn them down. 

"Oh, he's good looking all right. And he's a good boy too, aren't you? Leo says you go home every weekend to your wife. She's a lucky lady." 

"Mmm…" Jed murmured, giving her another shove. 

"But she's also a foolish one. I wouldn't let any man as good looking as you out of my sight for an entire week. Lord knows what kind of trouble you could get into." She twirled a finger around his earlobe. "It doesn't look like you're going home this weekend, though. We could have a lot of fun tonight. Why don't we go back to the motel with Leo and Angie? I'll bet you're damn good in the sack, blue eyes." She pressed her lips to his at the same time that she ran a hand over his crotch. Jed jumped and shoved her harder, this time getting her off his lap. She had to grab the table to keep from tumbling over. 

"Not interested," he said coldly. "Leo, can I talk to you?" 

"Oh no, I feel a lecture coming on." Leo rolled his eyes, but he stumbled behind Jed to a relatively quiet corner of the room. Jed tried to think of a way to get through to his friend. Leo's drinking was becoming worse and he was getting completely out of control. He was going out drinking almost every night now, rather than going home; and Jed had been aware for a while that he was sleeping with other women. 

"What are you doing with that bimbo?" he asked. "Jenny is home waiting for you to join her for dinner and you're sitting here in this seedy bar drinking yourself into oblivion and flirting with some air-headed groupie who couldn't give a shit about you. She just wants a lay, Leo. Anyone will do." 

"Aw, come on, Jed," Leo laughed. "Loosen up. Let's have some fun. Lisa seems to be pretty hot for you. Why don't you come get a room at the motel me and Angie are going to." 

"Leo, I'm a married man. I'm not going to screw around on Abbey." 

"Stop being so goddamned sanctimonious. Abbey would never have to know. You don't have to love someone to fuck 'em, Jed." 

"You think I want to take a chance on losing what I have with Abbey for some cheap lay with a bimbo? Think again. At the risk of sounding SANCTIMONIOUS, marriage is a sacred bond, Leo and you're taking a hell of a chance with yours." 

"Just what is it that she does for you?" 

"What?" Jed looked at him puzzled. 

"Abbey – what does she do for you in bed? She must be one hell of a tigress in the sack for you to always be rushing home for a little nooky." 

Jed clenched his fist. It took all his willpower not to punch Leo in the face. Instead, he grabbed the collar of his shirt and slammed him up against the wall. "You make me sick, Leo. You're a disgusting drunk. Don't ever talk about my wife like she is some cheap whore ever again." He let go of Leo with a look of sadness and disgust and turned to leave the bar. 

"Yeah, well at least I'm not some pussy whipped choir boy," Leo called out after him. He stood watching Jed walk out of the bar and felt the sting of tears. Now he'd done it. He'd already lost many of his friends and now he'd alienated his best friend, just as he had his wife and his daughter. He couldn't get much lower. A feeling of self-loathing crawled up his spine and made him nauseous. He looked over at Angie. With a girl like her there were no expectations, no recriminations, no disgust, no pity, just a good time sort of gal. He wavered back toward her and downed the rest of his drink before grabbing her wrist. 

"Let's get the hell out of here." 

* * * * 

The shrill ring of the phone jolted Jed out of a deep sleep. He squinted at the clock and saw that it was 4 a.m.. Who the hell would be calling him this late? His heart gave a quick lurch as late night calls generally caused fear. Abbey? The girls? Were they all right? 

"Hello," he answered anxiously. It wasn't Abbey. It was Leo and he was obviously VERY drunk. 

"Jed, I'm in trouble, man." He was totally out of it, crying and slurring his words so badly Jed could barely understand him. 

"Leo, what is it? What's wrong?" 

"That bitch…she screwed me over…I passed out after we had sex… I just woke up…She stole my wallet and my car…" 

"Leo, calm down. I'll come and pick you up. 

"I need clothes, too…I puked all over myself…I'm such a worthless piece of shit, Jed… You tried to tell me that but I wouldn't listen…I wouldn't listen. My best friend in the world and I wouldn't listen." 

"Leo, you're not worthless. You're a mess right now, but you aren't worthless." 

"Jenny'd be better off if I were dead. I'm such a disappointment to her and to Mallory." 

"Stop talking like that. That isn't true and you know it. Just hang tight and I'll be right there. Where are you?" 

"I don't know," he cried. "Don't know where I am…I'm in hell, Jed…I'm in hell." 

"Leo, look on the table by the phone. There must be some motel stationary. Read me the address on it." 

Jed wrote down what Leo told him, threw on jeans and a T-shirt, packed some clothes and was on the Capitol Beltway by 4:30. By 4:45 he was turning into the parking lot of a run down motel. The blinking neon sign cast shadows on the asphalt as Jed approached the room number Leo had given him. This was the world Leo now inhabited – a world of seedy bars and seedier motels, a world that was completely alien to Jed. He knocked on the door, consumed by an aching sadness. Leo had become somebody that he no longer knew anymore and it was getting to the point where he no longer wanted to know him. Leo had been a drinker for almost as long as he had known him, but it was only after his return from Vietnam that Jed had really noticed it. It was only recently that Leo's drinking had begun to turn him into a bitter and even cruel person who seemed intent on turning everyone against him. 

When his pounding knocks on the door were ignored, Jed was forced to find the manager to unlock the door for him. What he was confronted with made his stomach turn. The room stank of sex, sweat, alcohol, vomit and urine. Leo lay passed out naked on the bed. As Jed approached, he realized the urine smell came from the fact that Leo had wet himself and was sleeping in it. There was a stain of vomit by his head. Tears filled Jed's eyes. How? He wondered. How the hell had this happened? This wasn't Leo. This wasn't the Secretary of Labor in his dapper Armani suits. Just who the hell was this broken man laying here in his own filth? He shook his head with pity and anger and tried to shake Leo awake. 

"Jed," Leo slurred. "Jed…you're here…I knew you'd come." 

"Yeah, you knew I'd come," Jed grumbled. "Come on. Let's get you on your feet." He tried lifting him but Leo was dead weight, which didn't make it easy. 

"Saint Jed riding to the rescue." Leo slapped at his face affectionately. 

"Leo, do me a favor. Shut up." Jed got him to his feet and tried to pull him toward the bathroom. 

"Riding to the rescue on his white charger…" Leo's flaccid arms flailed dramatically. 

"It's a silver Mercedes and would you please shut up." 

"Jed, I'm gonna…" Leo heaved and threw up on Jed's foot. 

"Jesus Christ, Leo," Jed gasped angrily. "You're a fucking mess. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life, puking and pissing yourself in flea-ridden motels? I've been picking you up over and over, but now I see that Abbey was right. It was a mistake to help get you out of your messes. I've become an enabler. No more, Leo. You need to get help." 

"You help me." 

"I can't, Leo. You need professional help." 

Jed got him into the bathroom and thrust him in the shower stall where icy water pelted his body. 

"Let me out!" Leo shrieked. 

"I'm not taking you home to Jenny covered with your own filth." 

Once Leo was relatively clean, Jed dressed him in the clothes he had brought with him and placed a cup of hot black coffee into his hand. "Let's get you home." 

* * * * 

Jenny stood in the doorway watching Jed practically carry Leo up the walkway to their suburban Virginia home. It wasn't the first time that he had come home like this. Thankfully, Jed had called to tell her that he was at the bar so that she wouldn't worry when he didn't come home. There were nights that she didn't have any idea where or with whom her husband was spending the night. She was equally thankful that Mallory was sound asleep and wouldn't witness her father's ignominious return home. Sadly, Leo was so infrequently home for dinner these days that Mallory had barely noted that he was missing. 

"Where do you want him, Jenn?" Jed asked. 

"We may as well put him in the bedroom. Looks like he'll be sleeping this one off for a while." She wrapped an arm around Leo's other side and began to help Jed pull him up the stairs. She looked down at the gray Notre Dame T-shirt her husband was wearing and did not own and turned questioning eyes to Jed. 

"Where are his clothes?" she asked. 

"They're in the back of my car in a plastic bag. They're pretty rank" 

"Looks like he got you, too." She sniffed and looked pointedly at his pant leg. 

"Yeah, he nailed me all right." 

"I'm sorry, Jed. I'm so sorry you keep getting dragged into this mess." 

"Hey, it's just a little puke. I've got three kids and a wife who's been pregnant five times. I'm no stranger to puke." Jed grinned at her, trying to make her feel better. 

Jenny nodded as tears of frustration filled her eyes. "He's killing himself, Jed and I don't know how to help him. I don't know how much more of this that I can take." 

"Jenn, I know it's tough. But Abbey says that he needs to want to get help before…" 

"I know about the other women, Jed." Jenny said flatly. Jed stopped at the top of the stairwell with Leo propped up against him and looked into Jenny's pain filled big brown eyes. 

"They don't mean anything, Jenn." 

"Is that what you tell Abbey?" she asked bitterly. 

"What?" Jed flashed her a hurt look. 

"I'm sorry, that was a bitchy thing to say. I know that you don't whore around. It's just…it hurts so much." 

"He's all messed up inside. He doesn't mean to hurt you. He doesn't mean to hurt any of us. Or maybe he does. Maybe he wants to hurt us so much we'll just give up on him." 

"Uncle Jed?" The words were a sleepy whisper and Jed looked up to see Mallory in her bedroom doorway all big eyes and rumpled hair. "What's wrong with my dad?" 

"Nothing, honey. Go back to bed. It's all under control." 

"He's drunk again, isn't he?" the teenager asked belligerently. 

"Go back inside Mal and I'll come talk to you before I leave." 

* * * * 

Later, with Leo tucked in bed, Jenny stood in the doorway to her daughter's bedroom and watched Jed holding Mallory's hand as he talked to her. He was such a fine looking man. The early morning sun streamed through Mallory's window to streak his tawny hair with lighter bronze highlights and she yearned to run her fingers over the golden hair on his tanned forearm. Jed – her heart ached with all that she felt for him. He was her rock, her anchor in this storm that Leo had created. As Abbey had often said, he was as solid and dependable as New Hampshire granite. She didn't know how she would have dealt with all of this if he had not been down here. Leo's drinking had completely gotten out of hand, but Jed had been here to pick up the pieces. How different her life would have been if he had felt for her the way that she felt for him – if she had been the one to turn him away from any thoughts of the priesthood rather than Abbey. It was still so easy to remember the crushing pain that she had felt when he had come to her, his face alight with excitement, and told her that he had just met the woman of his dreams. It had been a bitter pill to swallow then, and at times it still was. It was hard not to envy Abbey this incredible man – a strong, handsome, compassionate and loving husband like Jed – who was a true partner in every sense of the word. 

* * * * 

"Jed, you have to stop cleaning up Leo's messes." Abbey slipped the satin midnight blue strapless sheath over her head, and turned to her husband who was buttoning his dress shirt. "He's only going to continue making them until he realizes that nobody is going to be there to fix them." 

"Intellectually, I KNOW that, Abbey. I've heard all about enablers and I've read all about them, not to mention all the lectures from you; but do you know how hard it would have been to leave him lying there in his own piss and puke." 

"I know it's hard, baby." She stopped fixing his cufflinks for a moment and ran a comforting hand up his arm. "But if we all continue to pick him up out of the filth, he may actually die that way." 

"That's what scares me. And it's not just the idea of him choking on his own vomit or pickling his organs, it's him having unprotected sex with all those women." 

"You're worried about AIDS?" Abbey pushed, shoved, and shaped her breasts into the bodice of her dress and turned her slender back to Jed. Without her needing to ask, he approached and began raise the zipper. 

"Among other things." He pressed his lips to the base of her neck while his fingers brushed along her delicate spine. "Mmm…" he murmured, darting his tongue out for a taste, "You smell so good." He felt her shiver at the sensation and watched her nipples harden against the satin of her low cut gown. He wished they'd had more time before the fundraiser. It was so frustrating being away from her all week, but absence did have its advantages. One of those advantages was all their pent up libido, which would explode when they came together again in weekends of burning sexual combustion. "So you'll talk to him?" 

"Of course." She kissed the tip of his nose and he placed an arm around her slim waist to lead her out the door. 

* * * * 

Leo leaned against the balustrade of the stone patio at the Hyatt Regency contemplating his schizophrenic lifestyle. Last night he'd been passed out drunk in a sleazy motel. Tonight he was standing in a tuxedo listening to an orchestra in one of the most elegant hotels in D.C.. He stared down into the glass of scotch in his hand swirling the amber liquid over the ice. It was not his first drink, far from it. Once, in the not so distant past, he would have been inside schmoozing with the movers and shakers of the Democratic Party, pushing himself forward as a potential candidate. Once, he'd had it all planned out. With his stint as Labor Secretary over and a couple terms as a Senator under his belt, he would make a run for the Presidency. That had been his plan anyway, but he had certainly pissed all that away. He was barely into his forties and he was already a has-been. 

"Leo?" The word was soft and throaty and his groin tightened in response. It was Abbey. He turned toward the doors and there she stood in her shimmering midnight blue sheath. The gown clung to her soft curves and seemed to be held up by her breasts alone. "Leo, can we talk?" 

Leo's mouth went dry as Abbey approached him. The moonlight gleamed in her fiery copper hair and danced over the creamy exposed skin of her slender shoulders and chest. He found himself nearly holding his breath as she stood before him; and he realized that if he pushed that fabric down just a measly quarter of an inch, he could expose her nipples. He could picture them – rose tips on the creamy swells. 

"Leo, are you all right?" Abbey frowned. 

Leo mentally kicked himself in the ass. How long, he wondered. How long was he going to want her? How long was he going to ache with the curiosity of knowing what she would be like in bed? "Never better," he grinned brightly. 

Abbey could tell by the glassy look in his eyes that Leo had already had way too much to drink. 

"Can we talk?" 

"I'd rather dance." He grabbed her wrist. Abbey instinctively flinched at the move, then willed herself to loosen up. Old habits died hard, but this was Leo; he was like a brother-in-law to her. She could trust him. "We can talk while we dance," he promised. 

"OK." The wariness left Abbey's eyes and she gave him soft smile. She had danced with Leo dozens of times. Leo pulled her into his arms, nearly groaning as he felt the softness of her breasts press into his chest. 

"I'm worried about you, Leo," Abbey began. "Jed and I both are." 

"He ratted me out about last night, didn't he?" Leo grumbled. Abbey could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath. 

"It wasn't the first time something like that happened. You're an alcoholic, Leo. You need help." 

"So I like to have a few drinks after work. That doesn't make me an alcoholic." 

"Leo, you drink every day. You pass out and have blackouts. You are no longer functioning as a husband and father, and pretty soon it is going to affect your work. Please, Leo, get help. If you won't do it for Jenny and for Mallory, do it for yourself. You're destroying your health. The alcohol is poisoning your system. You've probably already done some irreparable damage to your liver." 

"Abbey, don't go getting all doctor on me." He pulled her tighter against him. 

"I am a doctor and I'm worried about you. What you are doing is scary, Leo. You don't know anything about those women you're sleeping with. STD's, and especially AIDS, are nothing to mess with." 

"I'm not one of your daughters, Abbey. I don't need a motherly lecture." He stumbled slightly as he tried to move her to the music. 

"Well, you're certainly behaving like an irresponsible child," Abbey snapped as her tone changed from concern to anger. "I swear to God, Leo, if you bring a disease home to Jenny, you're gonna pay for it." 

"I use condoms." 

"Leo, I've seen you drunk. Somehow I highly doubt that you remember to use a condom." 

"Doesn't matter, anyhow," he slurred. "Jenny won't sleep with me anymore. She put me in the guestroom. Not that I'm missing much. She doesn't even really enjoy sex all that much. Not like you, huh?" 

"What?" Abbey tried to step back with surprise, but Leo still held her tightly. 

"Ah, come on. You love to get down and dirty with Jed. I've watched you guys for years now. What do you do, Abbey? What do you do to him in bed that keeps him running home to you?" He gazed down past her shocked green eyes to settle on her soft, luscious lips. He could only imagine the pleasure that sexy little mouth of hers could give a man. "I bet you like to go down on him, don't you?" Leo traced his thumb over her full lower lip and Abbey began to struggle against him. "Jenny would never do that for me." He shook his head sadly. 

"Leo, stop it." Abbey pushed at his chest. 

"I want you, Abbey. I want you so much." Abbey felt his lips on her neck, felt his arousal against her belly. 

"Leo, what are you doing?" she gasped. "Stop it… oh God… stop it." She was pleading and squirming now as she tried to fight off his roaming hands. "Please, Leo…don't do this…" 

"Just give me a taste, Abbey. Please, just one little taste. I've wanted you for as long as I can remember. Jed doesn't have to know." His mouth slammed onto hers, scraping her lips against her teeth. She tasted the alcohol as he slid his tongue into her mouth, and in that moment, her past came back to haunt her. She felt him grabbing at her breast and her rear and she simply froze with fear. She knew that it was Leo and that he was not a rapist. She also knew that her husband was just a scream away, but in her panic-stricken mind none of that mattered. Her lack of any strong resistance spurred Leo on and he began to grind himself into her belly. The feeling of that hardness rubbing against her dragged Abbey from her stunned stupor. Anger coursed through her veins at Leo's manhandling and she shoved hard against him. 

"Leo, STOP IT!" She cried. 

Leo's head jerked back as Abbey struck him hard across the face. The slap sobered him up immediately. He felt lower than a slug as he took in the deer in the headlights look on Abbey's face and he knew it was something that he would never forget. She stood in front of him, her fingers trembling over her bruised lips, her breasts heaving with residual fear and exertion. 

"Abbey," his eyes widened with horror over what he had done. "I'm so sorry." 

"You bastard," she seethed. How could you do that to me?" Her luminous green eyes flashed with anger and hurt and she began to adjust her dress where he had pulled at it. 

"Abbey…I…I didn't mean to…Please, please don't tell Jed. He'll never forgive me." 

"Go to hell, Leo." 

_(Present)_

"I can't believe you kept this from me!" Jed exploded. Abbey flinched as he slammed his fist down on the table. "All these years you kept this from me!" 

"Jed, what was the point. He…" 

"The POINT is that you should have TOLD me!" 

"Look at you, Jed." She took in his furious red face and blazing blue eyes. "This all happened a long time ago." 

"It may have happened to YOU a long time ago. But it JUST happened to me. That son of a bitch had no RIGHT to do that to you. He had no RIGHT to talk to you like that. Christ, I had just picked his sorry ass up out of that squalid mess in the motel and he paid my friendship back by mauling my WIFE! I'm not going to let him get away with it!" He turned to storm off toward the door. 

"Jed, wait. Don't go off in a fury like this. Please sit and calm down a little before you confront him." 

Jed shook his head negatively and reached a hand out to cup her cheek. "I'm gonna go settle a score; something that I should have done twelve years ago." 


	10. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Jed sat at Leo's desk waiting for him to return much as he had earlier with Abbey. He was still in shock over his wife's confession. He kept rolling it over and over in his mind – the crude things that Leo had said to her, the longing that he had expressed. _"I've wanted you for as long as I can remember."_ As long as I can remember? All these years Leo had wanted her and he hadn't had a clue. They had opened their home to him, made him a glorified family member. After leaving rehab when he was too afraid to go home and fall into old patterns, he and Abbey had allowed him to spend a month at the farm recuperating and re-evaluating his life. Now, he wondered how Abbey must have felt about that, how uncomfortable it must have been for her, and there he had been completely oblivious as to why there had been such underlying tension between the two. At the time he had assumed it was because Abbey still had unresolved feelings about how Leo had tried to convince him to stray from his marriage vows. He had a very open marriage with Abbey and they told each other everything, nothing was kept secret. At least that was what he had thought. Now he knew differently and he also knew why Abbey had avoided Leo for much of his stay at the farm. 

Jed leaned forward and picked up a picture of him and Leo with their arms around Abbey's waist. They were all smiling broadly. He had just been elected President of the United States. Nobody had had more to do with his victory than the two in the picture; nobody was happier for him than the two people in the picture, and there were no two people that he trusted more than the two people in the picture. Trust – it was so much more fragile than love, so much harder to give and so much easier to destroy. He had fallen in love with Abbey almost as soon as he had met her, but trust was a bond that had grown stronger and stronger as their marriage had progressed and matured. Even when he had seen that photo and been crushed by his shattered trust in her, he had still loved her. Love could not be destroyed that quickly or that easily. It was so much easier to love someone than it was to trust him or her. His love for Leo was not the same as his love for Abbey. It was not needy and all consuming; it was the love a man had for his brother. But trust that was a different story. In his chosen profession it was not wise and could even be dangerous to put his trust in anyone too deeply. Yet, he had trusted Leo as he would a member of his own family and while the thought that he had broken that trust was not destroying him the way that it had when he thought Abbey had done so, it still hurt down to his core. It made him question the openness he and Abbey had shared with him. It made him question the way he had turned to Leo and confided in him, at least when it came to personal matters. 

After Abbey's rape, when she had become withdrawn and started to build walls around herself that he was afraid to scale, it was Leo he had turned to with his fears. When he had painfully confided that she was breaking his heart by shutting him out and not letting him help her with the emotional aftermath of the attack, it was Leo who urged him to keep being patient and understanding and she would eventually come around. His face flushed red with embarrassment when he thought about how he had revealed his fear of pushing Abbey into any sort of sexual intimacy and ultimately wondering if they would ever again share the rich and varied sex life that they'd had before the attack. More than anyone, other than Abbey's female confidants, Leo had known exactly how traumatic things had been for her and yet, he had still forced that pass on her. 

Things would be so easy if this were two hundred years ago, he thought with a huff. As soon as Leo entered the room, he would simply call him out and they would duel for his wife's honor. Alexander Hamilton did it, why couldn't he? Still, the fantasy lacked any basis in reality since he and Abbey had never allowed guns in their home, and he didn't really know how to use one. With his luck, he would end up shooting himself in the foot or something. He was still pondering _High Noon_ scenarios when Leo entered the room shutting the door with click. Jed spun around in the leather chair and faced the man who was both friend and foe. Leo gave a start at seeing him in the chair. 

"You scared the hell out of me," he inhaled sharply. "What are you doing in here?" 

"Thou Shalt Not Covet, Leo," he stated flatly. 

"What?" Leo frowned. He was at a total loss as to what the hell Jed was talking about. 

"The 10th Commandment – Verse 17. 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.'" 

Leo stared at him with a look of complete puzzlement on his face. "You think somebody is coveting your ass?" 

"Not my ass, my WIFE!" Jed stood and walked around the desk to stand toe to toe with Leo. "Let me ask you a question, good friend. Are you in love with my wife?" 

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Leo swallowed convulsively, knowing deep inside that the gig was up. 

"One I'd like answered." 

"What would make you think that?" 

"THIS!" Jed seethed as he slapped the picture down on the desk. He watched Leo's face pale and panic begin to fill his eyes. "You son of a bitch!" he exploded. "What the fuck were you thinking?!" 

"I…I wasn't thinking." Leo took a step back out of the reach of Jed's clenched fists. "I was drinking. I wasn't thinking clearly. You know what it was like when I got drunk." 

"NO!" Jed stepped forward and grabbed him by the collar. "NO excuses, Leo. You told my wife that you had wanted her in bed for years and then you attacked her at a fundraiser, promising her that I would never have to know. Well, NOW I KNOW!" He punctuated the last three words with sharp shoves of his pointer finger into Leo's chest. 

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. It was a long time ago." 

"I don't care if it was twenty-five years ago. You KNEW that she had been raped. Christ, Leo, I confided in you. I TOLD you how scared she was, and still is to this day, of being held against her will and YOU went ahead and did that to her anyway. You're my best friend and you did that to my wife." He thrust Leo away from him as if the very touch of him made him sick. 

Leo took a step back, shaken by Jed's fury. He'd never had it directed at him like this before. But it was more than a fear of physical reprisal that had Leo sick to his stomach. It was the fear that his friendship with Jed, a man he considered to be his brother, would not survive this betrayal. Jed had turned away from him taking deep breaths to calm himself. When he turned back around, Leo could now see that there was pain mingled with anger in his eyes. "Are you still in love with her?" 

"What do you want me to say?" Leo's voice was shaky. He wanted so badly to lie. How could he admit to Jed that his feelings for Abbey were stronger than ever? 

"Try the truth for once, Leo. I want the goddamn truth. Are you still in love with my wife?!" 

"YES, OK, YES!" Leo blurted it out angrily. He hated the fact that Jed was making him do this. "I'm still in love with Abbey. I still want her the way that I did that night!" 

Rage surged through Jed's limbs at Leo's words, and of its own volition, his fist came up connected with Leo's right cheekbone. Leo staggered back against his desk and Jed swore at the pain in his knuckles. For a moment he couldn't believe that he had actually struck Leo. Fighting had never been his style. The blow stunned them both into momentary silence. 

"I guess I deserved that," Leo broke the uncomfortable silence, as he gingerly touched his eye with his fingertips. 

"I should have done it twelve years ago," Jed grumbled. "She should have told me." 

"Don't blame her, Jed. None of this is Abbey's fault." 

"You're damn straight it's not her fault." 

"I meant about not telling you. I begged her not to." 

"I don't care if you got down on your hands and knees and wept, she should have told me." 

"I tried that," Leo admitted ruefully, "but it was hitting her below the belt that did it. I promised her that if she wouldn't tell you, I would check into rehab." What he neglected to tell Jed was that he had made a similar promise to Jenny the night before. She had seen what he done to Abbey and had threatened to leave him. Even Abbey didn't know that part of the story. "I knew she was unhappy with the deception, but she went along with it to get me into rehab." 

"When I think of all the crap that I took from you at that time, all the things Abbey and I did for you, it just boggles my mind." He rubbed his weary eyes then gave Leo a speculative look. "How long, Leo?" 

"How long what?" 

"You told her that you'd wanted her for as long as you could remember. How long have you been in love with Abbey?" 

Leo silently appraised his best friend for a moment. He could be sealing his own coffin by telling him the truth, and yet he wanted to get it out, to finally acknowledge his feelings. If he did that then maybe they would stop eating away at him so much. When had he fallen in love with her? He thought about their first meeting. He had expected a quiet, bookish introvert; someone more like his Jenny turned out to be. Boy, had he been wrong about that. "A part of me wanted her from the instant you introduced her to me." 

Jed shook his head with stunned bewilderment. How had he gone all these years without knowing that? 

_(Past: Boston, Mass. Abbey is 19 and Jed is 21)_

Leo stood at South Station awaiting the bus from Indiana. His own bus from Ann Arbor, Michigan had just dropped him off a few minutes before, and now he was waiting for the arrival of his best friend Jed and Jed's girlfriend. It was Thanksgiving break and they were all coming home from college for the holiday. Jed had been dying for Leo to meet "his Abbey" and since they were all arriving in Boston within the same hour, he had planned the meeting. They would have time to get to know one another and have lunch before Abbey hopped another bus to Salem, Mass. and he was off to New Hampshire. Leo lived right in South Boston, so he was in no rush. He knew that he was going to be the first "family" member to meet Abbey. So far, Jed had spared the poor girl a meeting with his parents; but if he was as serious about her as he sounded in his letters, Leo knew that she would be in for an icy meeting not too long in the future. 

As he sat to wait for the bus, Leo pondered what this girl might be like. Jed fairly gushed about her in his letters. He was obviously head over heels in love. 'His Abbey' had the most beautiful hair, the most beautiful eyes, and the most incredible legs. 'His Abbey' was the smartest person he'd ever met – the funniest, the most well read, the most compassionate, and on and on it went until Leo had to chuckle at his friend's over-enthusiasm. Jed had never done things in half measure and falling in love had been no different. Still, given the fact that Jed tended to drift toward intellectuals, he pictured a shy, bookish, introverted young woman. Abigail – even her name spoke of old fashioned, quiet schoolmarms. His mind was just settling on that image when he saw Jed depart from the bus and wave to him. Leo waved back and watched Jed turn back toward the bus to help a young lady down the stairs. Leo's eyes fairly bugged out of his head. That could NOT be Abigail. This girl wore platform shoes, tight fitting hip-hugger bell bottoms and a short little T-shirt that rode up when she accepted Jed's hand to help her down. Her hair fell to her waist in a riot of red-gold waves and tinted sunglasses covered her eyes. He blinked, waiting for another young woman in a conservative twin set and pearls but she never materialized. Instead, Jed placed an arm around the waist of the gorgeous, sexy young woman and began to approach. God, that figure, he swallowed. Jed was right, she was definitely a knockout. It was incredible – long slender legs, a tiny waist, gently flaring hips and a generous bust, not too large but enough to draw a man's attention. Small, stacked and sexy were the words that ran through his mind. 

"You must be Leo" Abbey took off her sunglasses to gaze at him with lovely clear hazel eyes and she gave him a bright smile that revealed a dimple in her right cheek. She was, quite simply, breathtaking. "I've heard so much about you." She reached a hand out and shook his limp one firmly. He knew he was making an ass of himself just staring at her, but she was just so different from what he had expected. 

"Knocks your socks off, doesn't she?" Jed grinned, slapping his old friend on the back. 

"That's putting it mildly." Leo turned to him. There was something different about Jed as well and it wasn't just the clothes or the fact that he was wearing his tawny hair longer. It was his whole demeanor. Gone was the uptight preppie boy, and in his place was a relaxed self-confident man. Being with this woman had truly done Jed a world of good. "Where the hell did you find her and where can I find one just like her?" 

"Well," Abbey gave him an impish grin and linked her arm with his. "I do have a sister…" 

_(Present)_

Jed shook his head again, unable to believe that this infatuation/love that Leo had for Abbey had been going on since before they had even married. 

"I trusted you, Leo. When I got shot and I thought I was going to die in surgery, I asked you to help Abbey and my children. Tell me, were you hoping that I WOULD die so you could put the moves on my grieving widow?" There was an ugly bitterness to Jed's words. 

Leo stared at him in shock. He couldn't believe that Jed would believe that of him. "You know that isn't true. Other than your family, nobody prayed harder for you to survive than I did. I never –" 

"Does anybody else know about this?" Jed cut him off. 

"Just Jenny and…and Jordan." 

"JORDAN!" Jed exclaimed. "How the hell did Jordan find out?" 

"New Year's Eve…" Leo began slowly, knowing this was only going to add fuel to the fire. "I was getting intimate with her and I called her Abbey." 

"What?" Jed's mouth dropped. This was worse than he had thought. The past he might have been able to deal with, but Leo was STILL fantasizing about his wife, still picturing his wife when he had sex with other women. 

"I was starting to make love to Jordan and I moaned Abbey's name, OK. Hate me if you want to but I can't HELP it! Yes, I still wonder what it would be like to bed her, but I would NEVER act on that." 

Jed stared for a moment at Leo's swollen right eye and badly wanted to blacken the left as well. "The problem is, Leo, you did act on it and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that." He turned and left the room with a slam of the door. 

* * * * 

Abbey was sitting in bed in her silky pajamas reading bedtime stories to the twins when Jed entered their bedroom. Right away she could see from his face that things had not gone well. She watched him turn from the cozy scene and lean back out the doorway. 

"Izzy," he called out down the hall, his voice cool and demanding. "Please come and get the kids from Mrs. Bartlet." 

"Yes, sir." Izzy entered the bedroom and approached the bed. 

Ordinarily, Abbey would not have let him get away with such high handedness, but this was no ordinary day. She kissed each sleepy babe on the head as she passed first one, then the other, over to the nanny. Jed followed suit when Izzy passed him in the doorway. With the nanny gone, he turned back toward her. Abbey's pulse began to race as he settled his glittering blue eyes on her. She had seen that look before – it was possessive and dangerous and filled with intent. His face was still flushed with anger, his bronze hair mussed and falling over his forehead. She watched him take his tie off and fling it across the room and felt a shiver of apprehension and yes, God help her, desire. Only very rarely would she ever use the term dangerous to describe her husband. But, as he slowly approached the bed ripping the buttons off his shirt to get it off, his fiery eyes never leaving hers, she had a delicious thrill of anticipation, of knowing that she was about to be ravished by a dangerous, sexy, out of control man. 


	11. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"Jed?" 

He heard the slight tremble in his usually confident wife's voice but didn't stop his approach. She looked tiny sitting in the big bed in her baggy silk pj's with her glasses still on and her hair falling in soft loose waves to her shoulders. As his eyes burned into her, all he could think about was that she was HIS, his wife, his woman. It scared him to death to think about how he had felt earlier in the day when he had first seen that picture. How absolutely annihilated he had felt at the thought of losing her. Yet, here she was still in his bed and the need to purge himself of those feelings was overwhelming him. He wanted her, oh God, how he wanted her. 

"Jed, please." 

He knew that she wanted to know what had happened, but he wasn't going to get into the details of that now. "He loves you," he ground out as he discarded his shirt. 

"He doesn't LOVE me," Abbey scoffed. She watched him unbuckle his belt; her fingers itching to help him and run over the stiffening, hard bulge that she had done nothing physically to create. 

"Well, at the very least, he wants to fuck you." Jed kicked his fallen pants against the wall and crawled up on the bed beside her. 

"He said tha…aaahhh." Her last word became a moan as Jed's hand cupped over her breast and he began to tease her nipple over the silk with his thumb. 

"No more talking, Abbey," he groaned. He tossed her glasses toward the nightstand and he grasped the back of her head so he could slant his mouth over hers. His tongue slid into her at the same moment he slipped his hand inside her pajama bottoms to cup her between the legs. His fingers delved into the springy curls there and he was surprised to find her already wet and ready to accept him. Abbey wasn't; she'd been wet for him from the moment he'd come at her with blazing passionate eyes and a bulge in his pants that made her throb and tingle before a single touch had been given. She tried to reach for him, wanting to stroke him the way that he was stroking her. 

"Not tonight, Abbey," he growled as he pinned her wrist up over her head. Tonight was all about showing her that she was his and his alone. Abbey knew that and reveled in it. She could definitely get into caveman Jed real easy at times. 

To that end, she felt his hands at the front of her pajama top and with one hard yank, he tore it open baring her breasts to him. 

"God, you're gorgeous." The reverent words were spoken against the soft skin of her breast as he pressed his lips there. Abbey squirmed as he began to suck hard, nip at the flesh beside her nipple, and then suck hard again, hard enough to leave a mark. She knew that was his intention. He was branding her with his mouth. As good as it felt, her nipple was aching for a swipe of his tongue, for the pull of his mouth, yet he was ignoring the aching peak at the moment. Abbey tried to grasp his head to pull his mouth to where she wanted it, but Jed only strengthened his hold on her wrist. She began to whimper with her need. 

"Tell me, Abbey. Tell me what you want from me." He knew exactly what she wanted, but tonight he needed to hear it. 

"I need your mouth…please…suck my nipples, Jed." It was all the urging he needed. His mouth moved to her nipples giving them silky caresses with his tongue then nipping sharply, spurred on by the soft cries that came from the back of her throat. He suckled each nipple to a hard peak then rolled Abbey onto her side. His lips moved down her spine causing her to shiver and press her now overly sensitive hardened nipples into the pillow. She felt absolutely drugged with passion and need. As he reached the base of her spine, he found what he was looking for and began to lave her tattoo as he yanked her pajama bottoms and bikini panties down over her hips. She felt his tongue swirling on her bare hip and tears stung her eyes when she realized what he was doing. She had just figured out that he was tracing his initials, JDB, with the tip of his tongue, when his fingers moved back between her legs, sliding into the slickness there. Abbey moaned and thrust her hips into his hand. 

"That feels good, doesn't it?" 

"Mmmmm……." 

"You like this, don't you?" He slid his finger inside her. 

"God…yeeesss." She arched her back and ran her fingers through her hair. 

"You want more?" 

"Ohhh…yes." She waited for another finger to slide into her and cried out with disappointment when instead he removed his hand from her altogether. 

"I'm not done yet," he promised as he rolled her back over and slid a throw pillow under her hips. Abbey's fingers clenched in the sheets as she knew exactly what was coming next when he spread her legs wide. She felt Jed's breath hot against the apex of her thighs and began to squirm; the anticipation was killing her. At the first stroke of his tongue, her hips shot off the pillow and she inhaled sharply. 

"Oh…oh gawwwddd…" she gave a deep long moan of pleasure as Jed began to slide his tongue over her. 

"You like this better?" He added his fingers to what his mouth was doing and Abbey was nearly insane with need. 

"Yes…oh God, Jed…yes…please…" She wanted more, needed more. She was almost there, but every time he felt her begin to tighten in climax, he stopped her short of that peak until she was begging him to let her finish. He needed her this way. He needed her crazy with her need for him. 

"Don't, Jed…Please…Let me…" 

"Tell me what you want, Abbey," he demanded. "Tell me." 

Even in her heightened state of arousal, Abbey knew what he wanted to hear. What he needed to hear. 

"You, Jed…Oh God, baby, I want you…Only you." 

With those words, Jed finally allowed her the release she had been begging for. He felt her inner thighs tighten around his head, felt her pulsing contractions against his tongue and before those aftershocks had even slowed down and before Abbey had even caught her breath, he drove himself into her hard – so hard he nearly pushed her off the edge of the bed. Her sharp cry of surprise stilled him for the moment and he lay on top of her, deeply embedded inside her soft warmth, all barely restrained male strength. 

"Take it easy, Jed" she panted. "I don't want to end up on the floor." 

"Then hang on, sweetheart." He lifted a satiny thigh up over his hip and she crossed her ankles to anchor herself to him. He felt her soft feminine walls squeezing him gently with the aftermath of her orgasm and he groaned at the sensation. He pushed her hair back from her face. HIS, the thought came as he gazed down into green eyes gone soft with satiated desire and the need to possess her, all of her, took over again. He withdrew almost completely causing Abbey to grasp at his hips to pull his thick warmth back inside of her. Jed pinned her wrists on each side of her body and slammed himself back into her. Abbey cried out as his hard penetration hit that spot deep inside that caused her sated need to rise quickly again to a nearly feverish pitch. 

"Right…there, Jed" she groaned. Her frustration grew with every withdrawal and moans of pleasure escaped her with every penetration. She fought Jed's strong hands wanting to be able to pull his buttocks into her, but he was having none of that. Tonight he was the one in control. 

Finally released from the agonizing restraint he had forced on his body, Jed began to drive himself into Abbey. There was an incredible urgent need in him that Abbey responded to in kind. No matter how hard his thrusts, her hips rose to take him deeper. She lifted her legs higher up his back and Jed grabbed her rear pulling her up against him so he could thrust even further inside her as if somehow he could actually become a part of her. He battered into her then like a man possessed, like a man out to possess, the cries of his name only driving him into more of a frenzy. He continued to hit that spot way up inside her with every plunge home. 

"OhGodohGodohGod," her head thrashed from side to side. 

"Who, Abbey?" Jed growled and nipped her earlobe. 

"Oh Jed," she continued. "Oh God, Jed. JedJedJedJeeeeeeeddddd…" She arched her back, her hands clenching tightly in the sheets since they couldn't dig into his back and she exploded into a million pieces. 

Jed groaned deeply as her muscles squeezed him tightly inside of her, but he kept his hips rocking in the rhythm that they had created. Abbey felt a droplet of water on her chest and opened her eyes to watch Jed still moving above her. Sweat beaded his forehead and his chest and was dripping onto her. His hair fell over his brow, which was furrowed as if he were in deep concentration. His electric blue eyes had gone smoky gray with his passion and Abbey thought, as she always did, at what an absolutely fine looking man she had. Released from his restraining hands, her fingers worked their way over his chest hair stroking and teasing his nipples. They ran over his quivering arms and caressed the bunching muscles of his back. His quickening breath told Abbey he was almost there and she drew her hands down to his buttocks to help him with his final grunting thrusts. With a harsh groan of her name, he plunged deeply inside her one last time and, embedded as deep as he could go, he came. Abbey felt his buttocks clench tightly under her hands and the hot, pulsing surge of liquid that seemed to go on and on as if he were emptying himself completely into her. Possession went both ways, she thought to herself with a sly smile, as she stroked the damp hair at the base of Jed's neck. 

Jed lay heavy on her trying to regain his breath and his strength. He knew this was one of Abbey's favorite parts of lovemaking, the way that he would lay on her chest still inside her totally spent and breathing heavy until he went limp and slipped out of her. Tonight, however, his heart was too heavy for cuddling. He lifted himself off her already able to see the small discolored love bruises on the swell of her pale breast. He ran his thumb softly over one then withdrew from her to fling his legs over the side of the bed sitting there pensively for a moment. He stayed in that position, aching for a cigarette until he felt Abbey stir and reach for him. 

Abbey watched him rise and pad naked to the bathroom. She swallowed past the lump in her throat; her heart heavy with the pain her husband was in. She thought of the saying "You look like you just lost your best friend." Now she knew why people said that. The deep sadness that Jed was carrying inside him over the things Leo had revealed to him seemed to permeate his very being. Jed had such faith in people, such trust, and when he loved somebody he would be there for that person with everything that he had. She'd heard him called naïve before – idealistic – but she certainly would never want him any other way. She'd feared that when they came to Washington he might lose some of that and become jaded. It hadn't happened. Jed wasn't a fool; he was politically savvy, intellectually heads and tails above his opponents, and had a strength of character that brought a true morality to his position. But, underneath it all, he was still that idealistic young college student that she had fallen in love with. The former theology student who had believed that every person could make a difference and that you needed to trust people to do the right things. He was not an unforgiving man. People made mistakes. HE made mistakes. But some mistakes were bigger than others were, and it hurt her to think that she was in any way a part of his loss of faith in Leo. 

She heard water running in the bathroom then watched Jed re-enter the bedroom wearing a pair of boxers and a gray Notre Dame T-shirt. He approached the bed much differently from the way he had when he had first entered the room and handed her a damp cloth to cleanse herself. 

"Ever the gentleman," she smiled at him, trying to lighten his mood. His only response was to touch her cheek with a half smile then sit heavily back on the bed. 

Abbey took care of matters then got up on her knees to wrap her arms around his neck from behind. 

"Care to tell me what that was all about?" she asked as she nuzzled the spot where his neck met his shoulder. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining; you were amazing." 

"I don't feel so amazing." He rested his elbows on his knees and cupped his jaw in his hands to stare glumly at the wall. "I used you to make myself feel better. I needed you to build up my ego. I wanted you to beg me, so I could feel powerful and that I was the only one for you." 

"Hey, if that's what you want to do to build your ego, feel free to use me anytime." 

"Abbey," he gave a half-hearted chuckle knowing that she was trying to raise his spirits. 

Abbey came around in front of him and sat herself down on his lap so that she could cup his face in her palms. "You ARE the only one for me, Jed," she said staring deeply into his sad eyes, "You're my guy." She tweaked his chin. 

Jed smiled at her through the tears that now stung his eyes. "You're not going to break into a rendition of "My Guy", are you?" 

"I'm not THAT sappy," she grinned. She lifted his hand to kiss the back of it and noticed his raw, bruised knuckles. She turned anxious eyes toward him. "Jed, tell me that you didn't." 

"I did," he sighed. "I gave Leo a black eye and then I punched the wall on my way back here." 

"Dammit, Jed," the words were said sadly, not angrily, and she pressed her lips to his sore knuckles in a healing kiss. "You could have broken your hand." 

"I couldn't help it, Abbey. He admitted that he's loved you since we were in college and that he's STILL in love with you. He admitted that he still wants you the way that he did the night he kissed you and groped you. He told me Jordan broke up with him because he moaned YOUR name when he was trying to make love to her." 

Abbey stared at him for a long moment, totally stunned. Suddenly feeling overwhelmingly exposed, she got to her feet and slipped on her robe to cover her nude form. It felt so strange. Leo wanted to make love to her? Yes, he had made that pass at her. Yes, he had told her that he had wanted her for a long time. Yes, he had begged her to let him make love to her, but she had always assumed that it was the drink talking. She assumed that he had told her those things to try to get her to go to bed with him. The thought that it had all been true was incredibly unsettling. Even worse was finding out that he still felt that way after all these years – that he was thinking of her when he was having sex with another woman. 

"Abbey." She felt Jed's hand on her shoulder. 

"Give me a minute to digest this." She stood silently for a few more long moments then whirled on him. "He's always been like a brother to me, Jed. He's been in the next room when you've made love to me. He's come in when I was NAKED in bed with you. Christ, he even saw me nursing Elizabeth when he stayed with us in London. None of that embarrassed me because I didn't know he thought of me THAT way. I thought he saw me as a sister." Her sense of betrayal was rising as three decades of memories flooded her causing her face to blush with embarrassment. 

"He wasn't seeing you as a sister the night that he tried to drag your dress up over your hips." 

"Stop throwing that in my face, Jed. I'm going to tell you for the last time. He was drunk; I didn't take any of it really seriously. I mean I did take it seriously. It royally pissed me off, but that stuff about wanting me forever? I figured it was just one of his lines to get me to go to bed with him." 

"I can't help it; it just bugs the hell out of me that you kept this secret to protect him." 

"I didn't do it to protect HIM," Abbey's eyes went wide with incredulity. "I kept that secret to protect YOU." 

"Me?" 

"Yes, you. He was your best friend, a brother to you, and he was putting you through hell. You were trying so hard to help him; we both were. Don't you think that I know what it would have done to you to find out just how low he had sunk?" 

"You're my WIFE. He was just my friend." 

"I know that and if he hadn't been drunk, I'd have told you in a heartbeat. I think I still might have if he hadn't come to see me the next day. He begged me not to tell you. He knew what it would do to you; he knew it would end your friendship and as much as he tried to say that it wasn't so, he needed you. You stuck by him when everyone else walked away. I made him promise me that he would never do it again and that he would go into rehab. He promised. I thought it was a good deal, Jed. He would get better, you would have your old friend Leo back, and you would be none the wiser to what amounted to one night's bad judgment." 

"I think it was a little more than just bad judgment, but I'll let that go for now. I do need to know one thing though, and I want you to be totally honest with me. It's imperative that you tell me the truth even if you think it will hurt me." 

"OK." 

"Has he ever made another pass at you – ever propositioned you since that night?" 

"No, never. I swear to you, Jed, I am just as shocked as you to find out that he still has feelings for me. He's never acted on them. Somehow you have to get passed this, Hon. You have to work with him." 

"I don't know if I can." 

"What?" Her eyes widened with disbelief. 

"I don't know if I can work with him anymore, knowing what I now know." 

"Jed, you don't mean that. Right now you're angry and you're hurt and you have every right to be; but don't go making any rash decisions until you've had a chance to calm down and think everything through." 

"I have thought things through. I've thought about how I don't think that I will ever be able to look at him in the same way. I don't know if I could ever trust him again or if I would even want to try." He turned his solemn blue eyes her way. "Get passed this? I just don't know how I can." He turned back toward the bed, his shoulders slumped and defeated, and Abbey hugged herself hard around her slender waist. This was all happening too fast for her to take in. One picture – one picture was all that it had taken to question a spouse's devotion and to perhaps end not only a friendship but also a man's career – his whole reason for being at the moment. She didn't want to think what would happen to Leo if Jed fired him. She watched her husband climb into bed and pull the covers up high over his shoulders as if to comfort himself and her eyes narrowed angrily. Who had done this to her husband, to her family? Who had given that picture to Danny and why had they done it? They were questions Abbey was determined to have answered. 


	12. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Leo sat heavily at his desk. His right cheekbone throbbed and his eye was already swelling shut, but the pain in his heart was much stronger than its physical counterpart. Somehow he had known that it would come to this. All those years ago when he'd begged and pleaded with Abbey not to tell Jed what he had done to her, he had known exactly what kind of reaction he was trying to prevent. It was the reaction that he had gotten tonight. For a long time, he had believed that Jed would never have to know about that sordid night, that he would never have to find out about the attraction he felt for Abbey. These past couple of years had proved him wrong on that front, and with his feelings becoming stronger and more difficult to hide, he had known that it was only a matter of time before somebody saw something they shouldn't. The only shocker in this whole mess was that everything had blown up in his face thanks to a picture taken so long ago, not due to Jed catching him watching Abbey with his heart on his sleeve. 

"Leo," Toby poked his head in, "I knocked, but…" he was stopped short when he saw Leo's bruised cheekbone and swollen eye. "What happened?" 

"Nothing," Leo scowled with embarrassment. "I walked into the corner of my door." 

"You'll have to come up with something better than that." 

"What?" 

"You didn't walk into a door. The President did that to you, didn't he?" 

"Toby," Leo's tone warned him not to continue. 

"I saw him storm out of here." Toby rarely heeded warnings. "He was so angry he punched the wall in the hall. This has something to do with the picture, doesn't it?" 

"Christ, does everyone know about that damned picture," Leo groaned. 

"Just me and CJ, and Danny, of course. He's the one who gave it to CJ. I can't believe it, Leo. You and Mrs. Bartlet." He gave a low astonished whistle, "How –" 

"You leave Abbey out of this," Leo flashed protectively. "There was NO me and Mrs. Bartlet. There was me WANTING Mrs. Bartlet and trying to take what I wanted, but that kiss was all my doing. You need to make sure that Danny knows that. I don't want that picture getting out and hurting her. Oh Jesus, Toby, I never meant to hurt her." 

Toby stood stunned as he watched Leo's eyes fill with tears. This was completely out of his realm of expertise. Any show of excessive emotion made him squirm with discomfort. Without a word, he turned and opened the office door. Just as he had expected, CJ was standing there with her ear pressed to the door. She, too, had seen the President's hasty, angry departure. 

"Get in here," he mouthed. CJ shook her head negatively and tried to back away, but Toby grabbed her arm and yanked her in the room. "Leo needs to talk, don't you, Leo?" 

Leo looked up at the two staffers standing in his office. They were the two people he knew had been, on some level, on to his attraction to Abbey. Two people he trusted not to let his story outside these four walls. It had been so long and so hard to keep this secret that it would be nice to finally unburden himself. He had meant to explain just what happened that night between him and Abbey so CJ could pass it on to Danny, but once he started talking he found himself telling them the entire story of his infatuation and love for his best friend's wife. 

"You fell in love with her the moment you met her at South Station?" Toby asked with awe. 

"No. It wasn't love then. It was infatuation, pure and simple. She was so different from what I expected. I don't know how to explain it, except to say that she really was this free spirited kind of beauty, you know, sort of all lit up inside. I think it was because she was completely head over heels for Jed. They were something to see all right. I remember watching them with a kind of awe. The chemistry between them was almost touchable. They laughed and teased each other; they finished each other's sentences. They were both so damned smart; they could talk and argue about almost anything and they did it with such passion and conviction. I envied Jed, Abbey, from that moment on, but I don't think I fell in love with her until I stayed with them in London." 

"You stayed with them?" CJ asked surprised. 

"Yeah, a few months after they got married. I was in the Air Force and I was sent to France for some special training before going to Vietnam. I had a week's leave so I flew to Europe early so I could spend some time with them in England before I shipped out to France. Abbey was about seven months pregnant. I had flown out to London with Jed and his brother Jon before he married Abbey so he could find an apartment for them. He was starting at the LSE just a couple months after the wedding and he wanted to make sure they were settled in before school started. You have to remember that London in the swinging 60's and early 70's was THE place to be and apartments didn't come cheap. Jed was pretty disappointed when he realized what he and Abbey were going to be able to afford if he wanted to preserve his trust fund for their future. When he figured out that he wasn't going to be able to keep Abbey in the style that she was accustomed to living in or that he was for that matter, his one criterion became that we find a place near the water. Abbey loves the water. Let me tell you, we searched high and low for just the perfect home. We finally found a place that he could afford across the street from Battersea Park, just over the Albert Bridge from Chelsea. It was a big old Victorian and to the left it had a view of the Thames and the Albert Bridge and across the street the park was spread out with woods and fields and a boating lake. 

"Sounds pretty posh for not being able to afford much." Toby lifted a skeptical eye. 

"Well, now it is. But back then Battersea was pretty run down. It was full of pensioners and students. The apartment itself was horrible. It was on the third floor, very dark and dingy with stained walls and floors. It had a tiny kitchenette and they had to share a bathroom with the two other tenants on the third floor, but Jed fell in love with the romance of the view and he knew that Abbey would too. Anyway, after seeing the apartment that way, you could have knocked me over when I showed up there just over four months later. Abbey had turned that dark, dismal place into a warm, comfortable home. She had painted the walls a bright cheerful yellow and covered them with colorful art prints and family photos. She covered the second hand furniture they had found with matching slipcovers, and re-stained or painted the old chipped wood tables and chairs. She found some braided carpets to cover the stained, faded wood floors and she filled the whole place with vases of fresh cut flowers. I never would have realized that it was the same place. They were so happy there. I mean I suppose that's true of any newlyweds but it was especially true with them." 

"It must have been really hard for you being around them when they were newlyweds." 

"It was. They were incredibly affectionate with each other and not ashamed to show it." 

"Well, that hasn't changed." Toby's deadpanned. 

"No, it hasn't. A lot hasn't changed about them. I have never seen two people so happy just to be together. Abbey was working at an antiquarian bookstore on Cecil Court, not all that far from the LSE and rather than studying at the school library or at home, Jed would stop at the bookstore and sit in front of the fireplace to study and wait until Abbey's shift was over. That way they could go home together. He was very protective of her, I think even more so because she was pregnant." 

"Well, you've just given us a very clear picture of your visit to London, but what has that got to do with you falling in love with Mrs. Bartlet? Did you really lust over a woman who was almost seven months pregnant?" 

Leo stopped for a moment, not sure if he could convey how he had felt. His feelings for Abbey were so complex and so mixed up with the envy he felt toward Jed; sometimes they even confused him. "I guess what I was trying to tell you with this story is that London was where my feelings for Abbey changed from merely wondering what it would be like to sleep with her, to what it would be like to have a woman like her love me, and not just because she was so damn pretty. Her intellect actually matched Jed's. I remember shaking my head in bafflement at some of the obscure references they made to authors they had read and how much I enjoyed watching her go off on some political diatribe. Yet, there was also a softness to her. She was about to become a mother, which at that moment was what her world was truly centered on. She has always been so strong-minded and opinionated but also as feminine as hell. I remember her saying once that being a feminist was supposed to glorify being a woman, so why did some ultra-feminists try to take away what made a woman a woman – what made her different from a man. Abbey may have wanted to make her way in a man's world but she loved being a woman. It never fazed her to spout off feminist rhetoric while wearing a tight mini skirt and those high heels she has always loved. I've always found that confident pride she takes in being a woman as sexy as hell. Then, of course, there was the amazing change in Jed. Here was a guy who, because of his upbringing, had kept the passionate side of his nature hidden. I don't just mean sexual passion; I mean his passion for knowledge, his passion for imparting his knowledge and debating what he believed to be true, his passion for life in general, and his affectionate passion as well. Abbey brought that all out. She drew out that side of Jed he had tried so hard to hide; and it was as if he was getting a whole new lease on life, like a dam had burst and suddenly he could be who he was supposed to be. He became very involved in political rallies and helped tutor kids in the East End. He held Abbey's hand or the small of her back wherever they went and for a man that I never heard say I love you until he met Abbey, he sure was saying it all the time now. They used to sit at night snuggled up together under a quilt in front of the heater and read. Abbey was always stroking Jed's arm or running her fingers through his hair and his hand was always anchored to her belly waiting for their baby to move. When she did, he would get this soft, proud, loving smile on his face and Abbey's hand would move to cover his so that together they could stroke their unborn child. It was very moving and sometimes so intimate that I would feel out of place. I remember the first time that Abbey let me feel the baby move inside her. It was amazing to me and yet it also seemed kind of forbidden, like I didn't have a right to share that with her. I think I have felt that way on and off for the rest of my life, always on the outside looking in, watching them dancing, or kissing or listening to their soft laughter coming from the bedroom." 

"You felt this way even when you were married to Jenny?" CJ asked with astonishment. 

"Yes," Leo admitted, "there were times that I still felt that way even after I was married. I loved Jenny, don't get me wrong, but we never had the kind of marriage that Jed and Abbey had. Ours was more old-fashioned. The only time Jenny worked was when she was putting me through law school, then I joined the firm and she had Mallory. I became the breadwinner, a big shot Wall Street lawyer, and Jenny stayed home with Mal and she had her charities. We were husband and wife but we were never best friends." Leo left out the fact that Jenny lacked Abbey's easy sexuality or affectionate nature and he really missed that in his marriage. "We didn't see Jed and Abbey often; they lived a different sort of life up in rural New England than we did in Manhattan. I was busy trying to make as much money as I could so, someday, I could buy my way to get what I wanted while he was teaching and she was saving lives." 

"Leo, there is nothing wrong with making money. You lived the American dream and you've given plenty back, you shouldn't be ashamed. The President never really had to worry about making money, at least not the way you did." 

"Maybe not, but I still felt that way. Here I was working sixteen hour days, getting home after my daughter and my wife were already asleep; and I would visit them and they were packing up all three kids to go off to Nicaragua and help earthquake victims or something. Anyway, my feelings were still there on the rare occasions that we would see them, but it wasn't like I was obsessed or anything. I didn't dwell on them and I could go months without even thinking about Abbey, that is until I would see her again and that old pull would come back." 

"All those years you had those feelings and Abbey never knew?" Toby asked. 

"Not until I acted on them. By the end of the 80's into the beginning of the 90's, my drinking had gotten totally out of control. I got drunk one night at a D.N.C. fundraiser and I made a pretty heavy pass at Abbey. I told her how I felt about her and how much I wanted her. That is what you saw in the picture that Danny gave you. I scared her. You don't know how much I regret that, I mean I regret it all, but especially that I did that to her, knowing what she had been through. What you didn't see was Abbey hauling off and smacking me across the ace. She was furious with me, as she had every right to be. I had betrayed her and I had betrayed Jed." He gave a tired sigh and rubbed his weary good eye. 

"And she never told the President?" CJ asked. 

"I begged her not to. I promised to go into rehab and I did." 

"And the President never knew?" 

"Not until you showed him the picture. Now he knows." 

"And he didn't take it well." 

"What do you think?" He sarcastically asked as he turned his face to give them a better look at his right eye, which was by now swollen shut. "Those Bartlets both have one hell of a right hook." 

"The President has to know that you can't help how you feel," CJ said. 

"It doesn't matter. I think he would have gotten over the fact that I had kept my feelings a secret if I hadn't made that pass at her, or if I weren't still in love with her." 

"You were drunk. You didn't know what you were doing." CJ tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Leo could see that Toby was not buying it. 

"Oh, I knew what I was doing. My inhibitions were lowered, yes, but I knew what I was doing and that night I just wanted so badly to have what I had been dreaming about that I threw all caution into the wind. He won't forgive me this. You don't know what he went through after Abbey's rape. I do, and he knows that I do. He won't forgive me." 

"Of course he will," CJ rubbed his arm comfortingly. "It may take him a little while but he has to forgive you, you're his Chief of Staff." 

"Not for very much longer." 

"What?" CJ's face fell. 

"I have a feeling that he is mulling over firing me as we speak." 

* * * * 

Very early the next morning, Jed sat at his desk in the Oval Office. He hadn't gotten much sleep and was already in a foul mood as he grappled with what to do about Leo. His first instinct had been to fire him; he wanted to fire him. Right now he couldn't stand the thought of seeing his face. Abbey had continued to plead with him to think his actions through asking him to wait at least until after Easter to do anything. It was not the sentiment of the holiday that had given him pause; it was her following argument that he would need Leo next week at the summit in Finland. He sat staring at the walls of the Oval Office willing himself to think as the President and not as Jed Bartlet. That was never an easy task and even harder right now, especially when he knew what conclusion that he had to come to. Leo had betrayed his friendship. He had not betrayed his job; he had not betrayed his country and he had not betrayed his President. As President, he needed to do what was best for his country and right now what was best would be to keep Leo as his right hand man, at least until after the summit. It was a decision that was leaving a decidedly bad taste in his mouth. 

Josh had arrived early at his office. It was going to be another busy day. The President was doing several satellite feeds from the Oval Office and he and Sam were going to be busy preparing for the summit with the Russian President. However, before he even made it into his office, Donna stopped him to tell him that Leo wanted to speak with him ASAP. Josh made his way down the hall, gave a couple knocks, and entered his boss's office. He nearly dropped his coffee when he saw Leo's black eye. 

"Whoa, Leo, where'd you get the shiner?" he asked with a low whistle. 

"The President punched him," Toby said bluntly. 

Josh gave a snort of laughter then realized neither man was smiling and quickly sobered. "You're serious?" He was stunned. "What did you do, make a pass at Mrs. B.?" The response to his joke brought silence and guilty looks. "Oh my GOD, you did!" Josh's voice was unnaturally high pitched. 

"I want you to be prepared to take over my position." Leo told him. 

"Why would I be taking over your position?" 

"Because I'm going in to see the President, and if by some miracle he doesn't fire me, I'm going to offer my resignation." 


	13. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"What the hell is this?" Jed eyed the paper Leo had handed him upon entering the Oval Office. 

"I thought under the circumstances it would be better if I just leave." Leo couldn't believe that this was happening to him. This job meant everything to him and losing it actually hurt worse than when Jenny had asked him for a divorce. Handing Jed that piece of paper was the hardest thing that he had ever done in his life. 

"I happen to agree with you," Jed said coldly. "There is nothing I would like more right now than to tell you to pack your things and get the hell out of here, but I can't do that." 

"You can't?" 

"No, I don't have that luxury. I have to think as the President of the United States. The upcoming summit is important to this country. We have a lot at stake and you are involved in it up to your eyeballs. I need you in Finland – end of story." 

"Look, Mr. President…Jed, I think that we should clear the air before we go. Let me explain a few things." 

"I've heard all the explanations I need, Leo. As far as I'm concerned, you are my co-worker – nothing more, nothing less. I don't know how that's going to work but I'm willing to give it a try, at least through the summit." 

"Jed, come on, we've been friends for too long to let something like this…" 

"DON'T push me, Leo." Jed slammed his fist down. "It took a lot for me just to get to this point and not fire you right away. I didn't betray our friendship; you did that all on your own, so don't you DARE try to play on that bond now." 

Leo stared at him, at a loss as to how to get through to him. He had never seen Jed quite this hard and cold before. "You obviously still feel very strongly about this. Do you really think that we can work together?" 

"I don't know," Jed sighed. "Like I said, I'll give it a try. What about you? Are you willing to go to Finland under these circumstances?" 

"I serve at the pleasure of the President." 

The old joke did not bring a hint of humor to Jed's stony eyes. "It's hardly a pleasure right now." 

"I'll go to Finland with you, sir." The words were stated coolly as employee to boss. Never in his life had Leo felt like more of a subordinate. Jed had always treated him like an equal even though they both were aware of where the real power lay. Now he was just another underling. 

"And I'll keep this for future use if things don't work out." Jed slipped the resignation into his briefcase just as there was a knock on the door to signify the arrival of the TV crews. 

* * * * 

It was Easter Sunday and Abbey stretched out a sleepy hand recognizing immediately that Jed was already up, although not for long as his side was still warm. Her hand moved up to his pillow in search of something. A soft smile curved on her lips as she felt the item she was looking for. In all the years that they had been married, Jed had never forgotten to leave her a little memento to commemorate this special anniversary. She brought the single white rose to her nose inhaling softly. It had always been a white rose – white to signify the purity of the day that she had given him her virginity and he had asked her to marry him. She laid the rose on her pillow and started to doze off back to sleep, her mind a jumble of memories from the hayloft. Memories of a girl not yet a woman, a girl filled with nervous anticipation and healthy raging hormones, a girl whose heart fairly overflowed with the love and wonder of finally becoming Jed Bartlet's woman in every tangible way. 

"Mama…BUNNY!" 

Abbey jolted awake as something soft hit her on the shoulder. 

"Don't THROW it at her, Nicholas," Jed stifled a laugh at Abbey's startled expression. 

Abbey picked up the blue stuffed bunny that she and Jed had put in Nicky's Easter basket the night before then looked down into the grinning face of her son. 

"Why is he always throwing things at me?" She looked up at Jed with bewilderment. 

"You got me," he laughed softly. "It's probably an attention thing since he has to fight this little munchkin here for all his Mama's attention." 

Abbey smiled at her daughter who was still half-asleep in Jed's arms. She was clutching her pink bunny tightly under her chin. 

"Did you get a bunny, too, precious?" Abbey asked her. Aislinn smiled and nodded snuggling back into Jed's warm chest. 

"Bunny," Nicholas reached out a hand as he tried to climb up onto his parents' bed. Abbey reached down to help him up but held the stuffed toy out of his reach. 

"I'm going to give you your bunny back, but you have to promise me something. You have to stop throwing things at me, OK? 

Nicholas nodded solemnly at her with big blue earnest eyes that never failed to cause her heart to melt with love. In looking into her beautiful little boy's eyes, it was so easy to see the child her husband must have been. She handed Nicholas his bunny back and he promptly tucked it into his chest and flipped over onto his back so he could press up against her to cuddle. Abbey smiled with maternal warmth and began to stroke his fair hair. Jed sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at the love emanating between mother and son. 

"We have to start getting dressed for church," he said softly. 

"I know," she sighed. "Just give me a couple more minutes with him." 

Jed nodded as he kissed the top of his daughter's head. He knew exactly how she felt. If there was anything that they had learned over these past few years, it was that moments like these were precious and needed to be savored and cherished. It all went by much too fast. 

* * * * 

From the desk in his office, Leo caught the sight of movement outside of his window. He stood and moved to that window to get a better look at what was going on out in the garden. He watched Jed take off his suit coat and throw it over one of the benches near the swing set while little Aislinn tugged at his pant leg for him to pick her up and put her in the baby swing. Leo couldn't help the wistful smile that crossed his face. Aislinn was so absolutely angelically adorable. She was wearing a pink seersucker Easter dress with a white button up sweater and her blond wispy curls were pulled into pink plastic barrettes. She was obviously the apple of her daddy's eye as evidenced by the big smile on his face as he placed her in the swing, belted her in, and began to push her. Aislinn laughed, kicking her chubby little legs so excitedly, she kicked off one of her tiny patent leather shoes. As Jed bent to pick it up, he was nearly tackled by Nicholas who had come toddling across the lawn to launch himself at his father. Jed pretended to fall over, taking the giggling little boy with him. They wrestled for a few moments then stopped as they acknowledged someone's approach. Leo turned his head to see who they were looking at. The smile fell from his face and a fist of pain clenched over his heart. It was Abbey and she looked absolutely lovely in a cherry colored suit, the skirt cut a good couple of inches above the knee. A chuckle rose in his throat at that. The more the religious right complained about the length of the skirts that she wore into a house of worship the shorter Abbey's seemed to become. She could be very perverse that way. A colorful matching hat dangled from her fingers and the sunlight danced in her copper curls. Everything about her was as bright and vivid as her personality. He watched her bend to examine her little boy's pants for grass stains and Leo bit his lip with mirth as she did the same for her husband. Jed tried to brush her off, but after receiving a stern look, he took the hat from her fingers and flung it over toward the bench where his coat lay, then lifted her into his arms and placed her in the large swing next to the baby swings. Abbey threw her head back and laughed as Jed began to push her higher and higher. 

The smile again fell from Leo's face to be replaced by one of anxious fear as he watched Nicholas Bartlet, unhappy at being ignored by his parents, start to climb up the steps of the slide. He started to dart forward to rush outside and warn them of the danger Nicholas was in when Jed noticed the boy halfway up the stairs and raced forward to pluck him off. Upset that his plans had been thwarted, Nicholas began to cry. Jed spoke to him for a few moments and suddenly he was nodding and smiling again. Abbey hopped off the swing and kicked her Blahnik heels off so she could climb up the steps of the slide behind Nicholas and keep him from falling backwards. Jed waited at the bottom to catch the now gleeful toddler. 

Leo sighed, his fingers reaching out to touch the cool pane of glass. Two days ago he might have gone out and joined them for a few moments. In fact he would have been having Easter dinner with them. Now he didn't dare approach them. He wanted so badly to speak with Jed again and explain himself better. He wanted to clear the air with Abbey. However, Jed had made it very clear that morning that he was not to push the issue. If he did so, he might no longer have a job. 

* * * * 

Later that evening, while Jed did some work in his study, Abbey eyed herself in the mirror with dismay. She had allowed each child one piece of chocolate from their Easter baskets and somehow she had ended up with melted chocolate in her hair and on her face, her neck and her chest. The two little squirts didn't look much better. 

"OK, troops, I think the three of us are in desperate need of a bath." She laughed as she received two chocolate grins in response. She ran the water, threw in a little Sesame Street bubble gum scented bubble bath and began to strip them down. 

* * * * 

"Abbey," Jed called out as he entered the residence. "Where are you?" 

"We're in the bathroom, Jed," she called back. 

Jed entered the room, his tired repose becoming an amused smile as he saw all three happily ensconced in the bathtub. Aislinn was standing and was in the process of dumping a cup full of water over Abbey's head while Nicholas ran his boat up her arm. 

"You three look like you're having fun," he remarked. 

"Care to join us?" Abbey asked. "I'll let you play with my rubber ducky." A teasing wiggle of her eyebrows accompanied her flirtatious words. 

"I thought you'd never ask," Jed grinned and began to peel off his clothes. 

* * * * 

"The President needs to be told." 

Leo looked at Nancy and at Fitz. He couldn't believe this was happening. Not today. Not on the day that Jed had given Charlie off so he could spend the holiday with his sister. "You're sure this can't wait until the morning briefing?" 

Fitz gave Leo a strange look. He'd never been reluctant to get the President before. "Leo, is the President OK?" 

Oh God, Leo thought, now they are all going to be thinking that Jed is re-lapsing. This is exactly how rumors got started. "No, Fitz, the President is fine. If you think this is serious enough to bring it to his attention, I'll go up and get him." 

"I think it's serious enough. I think it's serious enough to affect the entire summit." 

* * * * 

Leo knocked at the door to the residence. He knocked and he knocked and he knocked. He knocked longer than he ever had before. Finally, he turned the doorknob and entered the room. He frowned at finding it quiet and empty, then he heard splashing and laughter, feminine, masculine and childish coming from the half open door to the bathroom. Oh God, he nearly groaned to himself. They were all in the bathtub together. He didn't even want to slightly dwell on what kind of images that brought to mind. 

"Mr. President," he called out. 

In the bathroom Abbey jumped and her hands instinctively moved to cover her bare breasts as if she thought Leo might actually enter the room. Jed scowled at the protective move she made and he felt his anger rise. How dare Leo interrupt this intimate time that he was sharing with his family? 

"What are you doing here, Leo?" he called out. Leo could tell from his tone that he was clearly pissed off. 

"Sir, you're needed in the Situation Room." 

"And they just HAPPENED to send you to come and get me?" Jed snorted and started to climb out of the tub. He knew the staff was desperate to mend the rift between him and Leo. 

"You gave Charlie the holiday off, sir." Jed knew that he was right, that he was being irrational, but it still irked him that it was Leo interrupting his family time. He stepped out of the bathroom wearing just his terry cloth robe and frowned when he saw the flicker of a grin on Leo's face. 

"Can I ask why you are smiling? I was having a good time with my family in there. I don't think it's funny to…" 

"Sir," Leo interrupted. "When you get dressed you might want to take that crown off your head." 

Jed quickly reached a hand up and flushed at finding the lei of plastic flowers Aislinn had been trying to fit over his head still sitting there. "Aislinn was…" Jed started to explain then stopped abruptly. "Never mind. I'll get dressed and meet you down there." He turned and Leo knew that he was dismissed. He heard Abbey laughing with the kids again on the other side of the door and could feel Jed's eyes burning into his back. He willed himself not to turn, and instead continued on out the door. In the past he would have waited outside to brief Jed as they walked together down to the Situation Room. However, today he knew that would not be a good idea at all. Frustrated by what a mess this all was, Leo began to wonder how long that he could work this way. He had promised to stay until after the summit, but if this was the way that things were going to be for the rest of Jed's tenure then that resignation that he had tendered was going to have to go into effect. Not only did it hurt to have his best friend treating him with the coldness of an arctic blast, he was also walking on eggshells around the man's family AND he wasn't able to do his job to the best of his ability. All of those were pretty good reasons to get the hell out. 

* * * * 

"Hey, CJ, you got a minute?" 

CJ glanced up uncomfortably to see the First Lady in her doorway. She had no way of knowing if Abbey was pissed at her for not going to her first with the photo or not. "Yeah sure…uh, come on in." 

"Don't look so nervous," Abbey smiled. "I'm not here to rip your head off." 

"You're not?" 

"No. I was upset at first. But I thought about it and I know that your work for Jed has to come before our friendship." 

"Believe me. I WANTED to go to you first. The LAST person I wanted to go to was the President." 

"I can't imagine why?" Abbey feigned ignorance. 

"Have you seen Leo's black eye?" CJ gave her a rueful smile. 

"No, I haven't seen Leo since this all happened. I have a feeling that he is keeping a wide berth around me." 

"I'm sure he must be uncomfortable." 

"I'm sure he must be fearing for his life. Knowing my husband, he probably threatened to do him in if he comes near me." 

"That could be," CJ chuckled. "He can't keep you guys from seeing each other forever." 

"No, he can't. At some point Leo and I will have to clear the air. I'd like to do it sooner rather than later, but I know that it is just too raw for Jed right now. Once he cools down a bit I'll see about talking to Leo. I'm assuming you've been told the whole story about what happened?" 

"Yes. I'm sorry, ma'am. I should have known that there was some explanation. To be honest, I truly couldn't believe that you would be involved with Leo, but I didn't give you enough of the benefit of the doubt." 

"It's OK, CJ. I'm really not here to berate you about that. I'm here because I want to know if you know who gave Danny that picture." 

"I don't. Danny refuses to tell me anything except to say that it is someone who has a lot to gain by tearing you down." 

"Well, that certainly narrows the field. Have you explained everything to Danny yet?" 

"No. And for the record, he didn't really believe it anymore than I did. That's why he gave us a shot at explaining before going with it." 

"He really is a sweet guy, CJ. When are you going to loosen up and see where this relationship could go?" 

"There is no RELATIONSHIP," CJ insisted. 

"Oh come on, girl. That man has the HOTS for you and I KNOW you've got the hots for him." 

"That isn't exactly the basis of a lasting relationship." 

"It doesn't hurt," Abbey smiled. 

"Is that all, ma'am?" CJ grinned in spite of herself. 

"No. I need to know when you are going to talk to Danny." 

"Probably on Air Force One tomorrow on the way to Finland. You know that once he returns that photo, whoever gave it to him is just going to turn around and go to a tabloid. They won't have the scruples to dig and find the true story. I need to try to come up with some kind of damage control. No matter how you look at it, it's bad. Even if we clear you of any wrongdoing, we are going to do it at Leo's expense. He is going to come off as a drunken bum and you know that the American public will probably be demanding his resignation." 

"I'd like to try to avoid all that." 

"Uh, yeah, Abbey, me too," CJ's voice was tinged with a bit of sarcasm. 

"Hear me out. I have a plan to find out just who gave that picture to Danny and when I do, they won't DARE show it to another living soul." 

CJ's eyes widened with interest. "I'm all ears." 


	14. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"OK, kids, it's just about time for Mommy to leave. Can I have a kiss?" Abbey was kneeling on the floor in her traveling suit, her hair perfectly coifed for the photos that would be taken of her and Jed getting on Air Force One. She set aside the big foam puzzle pieces she had been using to help the kids work on a big floor puzzle. 

"Mama, bye-bye?" Aislinn looked up at her with troubled eyes. Oh God, this was hard, Abbey thought as the tears began to sting her eyes. This was the first time since their birth that both she and Jed had been gone at the same time for more than a night or two. This would be a whole week. 

"Yes, sweetie. Mama bye-bye." She pulled the little girl into her arms and nuzzled the top of her head. Aislinn squirmed in her arms and leaned back to look up at her. 

"Dada bye-bye?" Her lower lip began to quiver. 

"Yes, Daddy's going bye-bye with Mommy, but Izzy is going to be here and she's going to take good care of you." 

"No bye-bye." Aislinn buried her face into Abbey's breasts clutching at the lapels of her Donna Karan jacket. 

"Oh, sweet pea, Mommy and Daddy will be back before you know it…" 

"Mrs. Bartlet?" Lily poked her head in. "It's time to go." 

Abbey nodded swallowing past the lump in her throat. "Just give me another minute, Lily." She handed the sniffling Aislinn over to Izzy and moved to kneel beside her son. 

"Nicholas, Mommy's leaving. Can I have a kiss?" 

Nicholas refused to look up at his mother and instead continued to pile his blocks. "Good lord, you really do have your daddy's sulk down pat, don't you." She lifted Nicky's chin and saw that the toddler's eyes were filled with tears. 

"No bye-bye," he demanded, echoing his sister's sentiments. 

"You're going to have so much fun. Izzy is going to take you to the farm and you can play with Max outside in the yard. Grammy and Grampy O'Neill are going to come down for a couple days and Zoey is going to spend the night with you at the end of the week. You'll be having too much fun to miss Mommy and Daddy." 

"No bye-bye!" Nicholas threw his block on the floor. 

"Mrs. Bartlet…" Lily poked her head back in. 

"I'm coming." Abbey stood and placed Nicholas in Izzy's other arm. 

"They'll be fine Mrs. Bartlet," Izzy assured her with a smile. Abbey nodded unable to speak. She kissed each child and turned to leave the room. At the door she couldn't resist one last look. She almost wished that she hadn't. Aislinn was hiccupping bravely, her lip still trembling as she gave her mother a half-hearted little wave. Nicky's head lay comfortingly against his sister's, his thumb stuck in his mouth and big tears rolling down his cheeks. They looked like two little orphans and it was killing Abbey to turn and leave that room. She blew them each a kiss and turned blindly through the door and headlong into Jed. 

"Abbey." He gripped her shoulders seeing her eyes swimming with unshed tears. He had said his good-byes earlier in the morning when the kids thought he was just off to work. Emotional scenes could sometimes be tougher on him than they were on her; however, she seemed to be taking this one pretty hard. 

"Guilt, guilt, guilt," she muttered huskily. "Damn, I hate parental guilt." 

"They'll be fine, hon." 

"They'll hate us." 

"Abbey, they're a year old. They won't even remember this. Parents have to go away all the time." 

"I'm going to remind you of that twenty-five years from now when they write their Mommy and Daddy Dearest expose and tell the world how they ended up in therapy for years because their parents deserted them for a week when they were only a year old." Abbey accepted the hankie Jed held out to her and wiped under her eyes, careful not to smudge her mascara. 

Jed chuckled and placed an arm over his wife's shoulders. "I think we can risk it." 

* * * * 

"You know, Jed, I think we have a long way to go to catch up with the Finns." 

"What?" He came around into the doorway that divided his study from the little living area that they had in their suite on Air Force One. Abbey had discarded the formal First Lady look and was kicking back on the couch in jeans and a baggy T-shirt. Papers and folders the State Department had given them about the country they would be visiting surrounded her. Abbey always read the information given thoroughly. Some of it was garbage but some of it was very interesting and informative. 

"It says here that the President of Finland, Tarja Halonen, was an unwed mother and raised her daughter Anna on her own. She relinquished membership to her church and began living with a man she didn't marry and the voters STILL elected her. Can you imagine what a big deal it would be if anyone like that tried to run in our country? She'd get eaten alive. I'm really looking forward to meeting her." 

"I thought she had a husband." Jed sat on the couch pulling Abbey's feet into his lap. 

"She does now, and he got to keep HIS job. She ended up marrying the guy she was living with, this Pentti Arajarvi, after the election. I think there were problems with protocol and how he would be received and stuff. I think that is going to be a major issue when we elect our first woman President." 

"Protocol?" 

"No, the job of First Lady. I mean I think it's kind of old fashioned and elegant to be called a First Lady, even if there is so much more to the job than being a hostess; but I don't think many men today would like to be referred to as the First Gentleman. And I really think he'd have to modify the job. Look at all the senators' wives' teas and brunches I have to attend. Maybe he could do meetings at a sports bar instead," she grinned. 

"It would be tough at first," Jed admitted. 

"Not a position you'd care for?" 

"Why, are you thinking of running for President when I'm done?" 

"Good lord, NO," Abbey rolled her eyes. "You know that's not for me." 

"You're sure? I'd play First Gentleman for you any day, cupcake." 

"You're sure about that? I mean I have a hard time picturing you walking TV crews and the editors of women's magazines around the White House to explain how we decorate for the holidays." 

"I'd do it with dignity and aplomb." 

"And it's not just the job you know. There is way more to being First Lady than that. You have to be ready to be scrutinized from head to toe. Every change of your hairstyle will be reported." She ruffled her fingers through Jed's thick hair. "Although, I guess that wouldn't be a problem for you since yours hasn't changed since 1980. But, then there are your clothes: what colors you wear, how much you spend, what designers you choose, how short your skirts are, how low your dresses are cut, how high your heels are, what jewelry you choose to wear. Hell, CJ said there have even been attempts to find out what kind of underwear that I wear…" 

"OK, OK, I surrender," he laughed. "After hearing that, I think a man would actually have it easier as First Gentleman, at least he wouldn't have to worry about most of that. Although, I did get the boxers or briefs question once or twice myself." 

"You're right, he wouldn't, because a man is not judged by his appearance at all and women still are. Nobody cares that Speaker Walken weighs over 300 pounds, but they sure were monitoring every pound I took off after my pregnancy. And you know the sad thing? The woman who does get elected President will probably have it ten times worse than I do." 

"You're right and it sucks, it really does." 

"It does suck, Jed. I hate that people we don't even know go digging through our lives to try to fill this insatiable curiosity that people seem to have about us. I mean who really cares if I wear a thong or you wear boxers? How does that matter in the great scheme of things?" 

"Are you wearing a thong?" His interest piqued he began to run his hand up her jean-clad leg. 

"No," she slapped his hand away. "I was trying to make a point. I just hate that people want to dig into our private lives to find something to titillate or something to hurt us with. That picture that Danny was given, that was a private moment and it has nothing to do with your Presidency." 

"And it still may end up on the covers of a tabloid." Jed gritted his teeth at the thought. 

"Not if I can help it," she said, her green eyes flashing fiercely. 

"Abbey, what are you up to?" 

"Nothing." The word was said with all innocence but Jed knew her too well. 

"Don't nothing me, sassypants. You've got your Irish up and you're ready to do battle. 

"I do have my Irish up, Jed. That person had NO business giving Danny that picture. This is something PRIVATE, between you and me and Leo. We need to work this out privately, not in the press. It's nobody's business that Leo…that he…" 

"Wants to fuck you," Jed supplied her with the crude term Abbey had always hated. 

"I swear to God, Jed, if you say that ONE more time I'm going to SCREAM." 

"Well, it's the truth, isn't it?" 

"I wouldn't know. You don't want me to talk to him. I'm abiding by your wishes right now because I know how hurt that you are and because I really don't know how to deal with this myself, but when we get back from the summit I am going to talk to him." 

"Abbey –" 

"Don't 'Abbey' me. For God's sake, Jed, what do you think is going to happen if I talk to him? Do you honestly think that after twelve years he may try to make another pass at me?" 

Jed simply glared at her knowing that was highly unlikely. "OK, if that's not it, what is the issue? Do you think his sweeping declarations of how much he loves me and wants me will turn my head and I'll leave you for him? WHAT exactly IS it that has you so adamantly against me talking to him." 

"ALL of it." Jed swung her legs off his lap and buried his forehead in his palms. "I can't stand the thought of him touching you the way that he did and saying the things that he said to you. I can't stand that he was willing to betray me and that he wanted me to betray you. I can't stand that he's heard you making love with me and has probably fantasized about what it would be like with you. I can't stand that when he looks at you he WANTS you." 

"Jed," she said softly as she placed an arm over her husband's slumped shoulders. "Do you think it's any easier for me knowing all that? It's not. I thought his feelings were in the past; I believed that he thought of me like a sister, but I really don't know how he feels and I never will if I don't give him a chance to tell me. I will give him that chance, Jed. Other than me, he's your best friend and you should give him that chance, too. I mean he is still giving you sound political advice, isn't he?" 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Well, he gave you the green light on your idea to 'accidentally' call Rob Ritchie dumb and look at how good that's turned out for you. Everyone is talking about your degrees and your Nobel Prize and Richie's staff is still running around whining that the American people now think their candidate is stupid." 

"He didn't actually give me the green light. I didn't discuss it with him." 

Abbey looked surprised. Jed usually ran things like this by Leo first. "So, Bruno thought it was a good idea?" 

"I don't know." 

“Jed, did you tell anyone?" 

"No. CJ figured it out in the end, but I made the decision and I trusted my instincts. To tell you the truth, it felt kind of good and it all worked out just like I'd planned." 

"It was good strategy, Hon, but you need to regain that trust if you want to win this election. You can't do it on your own no matter how smart or politically astute you are." 

Jed nodded and looked at his watch. He knew that Abbey was right. He needed to trust the people he surrounded himself with, but that didn't mean that it had to be a blind trust and it didn't mean that one of those people had to be Leo. "I have to go out back and talk to the press for a little bit. Want to join me?" 

"No," Abbey shook her head and yawned. "I'm going to finish reading this stuff then I'll catch a little nap. It's going to be a long day. When you finish with the press, I'd like you to come back and join me." 

"Oh really? Are you trying to tell me that you want to add another notch in our mile high club bedpost?" 

"I'm trying to tell you it's going to be a long day and you don't deal well with jet lag, so you really should try to catch an hour or two of sleep before we land." 

"Oh fine," he sighed and headed for the door. He turned back to her when he got there. "But my idea was a lot more fun." Abbey smiled and shook her head as she slipped her glasses back on and opened another folder to read biographies about the Chigorins. 

* * * * 

A few hours later, as Air Force One circled over Helsinki-Vantaa Airport, CJ knocked on the door to the Presidential Suite. A catnap and a shower had both the President and First Lady looking and feeling refreshed and ready to meet the day, which was a good thing since already unexpected things were happening. 

"Sir," she said as she watched Abbey fixing his tie and smoothing his collar. "We've just gotten some reports from the ground that we have a crowd of thousands waiting for your arrival." 

"Thousands?" he asked with surprise. They had expected a crowd but not quite that big. "It's only 7:00 a.m.." 

"I know. Evidently people began arriving around 3:00 this morning. They want to see you and Mrs. Bartlet. I think that you should make a couple of quick remarks when you get off the plane. We have to acknowledge something of this magnitude." 

"This could be a little awkward. Have President and Mrs. Chigorin arrived yet?" 

"Last night around midnight." 

"The crowd?" 

"Almost non-existent." 

Jed pondered for a moment. To ignore a crowd that had been waiting for hours for his arrival would be rude to his host country; however, it was also a bit of a slap in the face to his Russian counterpart. 

"Have Sam whip up some comments. Have him stress that the people are out in force to support the summit. Of course, we all know that what they are really here to see what Abbey is wearing." He winked at his wife as he alluded to their prior conversation. He had been teasing her but CJ knew that it was partially the truth. Wherever Abbey went abroad and at home, there were huge crowds of people. It had been a long time since a First Lady had created such a stir wherever she went; and for a public who had lost such beloved icons as Jackie Kennedy Onassis and Princess Diana, she was able to fill that adulation void. It was something that CJ knew she was not entirely comfortable with. She hated it when the press referred to her as a combination of Eleanor Roosevelt, Marilyn Monroe, Jackie O, and Princess Diana all rolled into one. As she often said, "I'm not any of those people. I'm just me, Abbey Bartlet." But in just four years, she had burst on the scene and become number one in polls asking for the most admired women in the world. She had been listed as one of the ten most intriguing people of the year, and was consistently on _People Magazine's_ 'Best Dressed' lists. Her pregnancy and the birth of the twins had only fueled the public's seemingly unquenchable desire for information about her; and a walk down any magazine aisle would find at least one with her picture on the cover. She had become, in that short time span, one of the few very famous people in the world who could be referred to by one name and everyone would know who was being spoken of: Liz, Cher, Madonna, and now simply – Abbey. 

She didn't disappoint her loyal followers. The weather was a frigid thirty-five degrees, cold even for Finland at this time of year, and she disembarked from the plane wearing a dove gray cape that was trimmed and lined with a darker gray fake fur. The cape matched the soft wool dress she wore underneath and her two-tone high heels. Her auburn hair fell loose to her shoulders and she looked young and fashionable as she held tightly to the handsome President's hand and waved to the crowd with him. Jed had not donned his overcoat when they left the plane and he stood there in the cold, hatless and coatless, the sun gleaming off his bronze hair. As a photo-op, CJ could not have asked for anything better than the attractive, photogenic Presidential couple being greeted by thousands of cheering Finns waving little American and Finnish flags. However, Sam knew that somewhere in a hotel room in Helsinki, Pyotr Chigorin had to be cursing at yet another American President arriving in bitter cold wearing nothing but his suit coat. 

As they reached the bottom of the plane's stairs, several dignitaries – including Bonnie McElveen-Hunter, the U.S. ambassador to Finland – greeted them. Abbey bent to receive a bouquet of flowers from a little boy; and after the obligatory small talk, Jed was led to the small dais that had been set up for his impromptu remarks. Abbey felt his hand shaking on the small of her back and turned to look at him. The north wind had picked up and she was certain the wind-chill had gotten to the point where it was cold even for Jed. Sure enough, it was almost discernible, but she could see that his teeth were chattering. She was going to kill him for not putting on his wool overcoat, for not only was the jackass going to catch pneumonia, but also there was no way that he was going to be able to speak with his body shivering so badly. While it would serve him right to let him make a fool of himself, Abbey saw a flash of panic in his eyes and knew that she had to do something to help him out of this jam. 


	15. Thou Shalt Not Covet

As Jed took his place behind the lectern, Abbey forwent her usual spot at his side and instead pressed up closely behind him. Leo flashed CJ a puzzled look as they watched her surreptitiously slide off the kid gloves she had been wearing. As unobtrusively as possible, Abbey slipped her hand under his suit coat and tugged softly to free the back of his shirt so she could get to his bare flesh. Jed continued to wave at the cheering crowd, not letting on in anyway that Abbey's very warm hand was sliding down the groove of his spine to rest and begin massaging the small of his back in order to get the blood circulating and create warmth. Abbey saw that it was working when the tension left his jaw and he was able to speak to the crowd without shaking. She continued her ministrations until his short speech was over. 

"The next time you pull something like that I'm going to let you freeze," Abbey informed him as they got into the limo. Members of the senior staff followed. It was the first time that Abbey had been in such close proximity to Leo since finding out how he felt about her and it was very disconcerting. Realizing how much thigh she was revealing by crossing her legs, she slowly slid her leg back down and smoothed her skirt trying to get it to reach her knees. Leo did not miss the move and he felt a wave of embarrassment and shame that he had done this to her. 

"Hey, if I can get a massage like that at every speech, I'm never going to wear my coat again. Besides it wasn't all THAT cold," he scoffed. 

"Not that cold?" Josh's eyes widened. "Your lips were almost blue, Mr. President. I was in a wool coat and I was cold." 

"You're from the south, Josh." 

"I'm from Connecticut, sir," Josh reminded him. 

"That's what I said. The south. You're south of New Hampshire where we have real winters, harsh winters, manly winters…" 

"So manly that your wife needs to practically give you a rubdown to keep you from going into hypothermia?" 

"What could be more manly than that? I'll bet the statistics for late summer births in the north is much higher than in the south." 

"Jed, I hate to burst your little bubble, but if you remember correctly most of our northern kids were born in the winter," Abbey reminded him. Jed thought for a moment of conception time. 

"Oh yeah," he remembered with a lascivious smile. "Summertime in Maine. Sunshine and bikinis and socked-in foggy days." 

"Jed," Abbey pinched his arm. "That's enough." She gazed at the amused faces of his staff, all that is, but Leo who was scrunching in the corner hoping nobody was looking his way. He didn't want anyone wondering how he was taking the normal flirty banter of the First Couple. Suddenly, Abbey realized that something was missing. Wherever they went, whether it was home or abroad there had usually been people lining the streets to wave to the motorcade. The streets of Helsinki were virtually empty, except for stopped traffic. Given the large crowd of people at the airport, she found that strange and somewhat eerie. 

"Where is everyone?" she asked with a frown. She saw the guilty, uncomfortable looks on the faces of her husband's staff. "What aren't you telling me?" she turned accusing eyes on her husband. 

"Nothing. They're just taking precautions." 

"What kind of precautions?" 

When Jed didn't answer right away, Abbey turned to Ron. "What kind of precautions, Ron?" 

"There have been some serious threats made against the life of the President and President Chigorin, so rather than take a chance we sealed off all the roads that lead to the motorcade. We have allowed space around the hotel for the Finnish people to get the chance to see you in a more controlled environment." 

"Why didn't you tell me there had been threats, Jed?" she asked angrily. 

"There are always threats, Abbey." 

"Not like this. They don't always seal off an entire motorcade route." 

"Abbey, this trip is tough enough on you. I didn't want you to worry." 

"Don't keep things from me," she pleaded with frustration. "I need to be prepared." 

Jed nodded knowing that she was right. It hadn't been fair to keep this from her. He would be pissed if the shoe was on the other foot and she hadn't told him about threats made to her. Suddenly the car was quiet, the laughter and teasing of a few moments before were history. The specter of Rosslyn all weighed heavily in their minds. For Leo, Josh, Sam and Toby, it was the sound of gunfire, the screaming of the crowd and the complete chaos as the President and his daughter were whisked away. For CJ, it was sitting in the limo watching the President choking on his own blood and groaning his need to see his wife before he died. For the President, it was all pain – pain and the cold fear of death. For Abbey, it was a hellish night of last rites and watching her husband hooked to respirators, ventilators, catheters and IV's struggling so hard to survive the nearly mortal wounds. But it was more. It was something she could not bring herself to talk about even with her closest friends. It was living every day with the fear that someone might try, yet again, to take her husband's life and that this time they might succeed. 

Finally, the limo pulled up in front of the Hotel Kamp where they Chigorins had already spent the night. As the President and First Lady stepped from the car, another huge cheer erupted from the crowd that had been awaiting their arrival. 

"AAA-BBEY, AAA-BBEY," the crowd began to chant. Abbey gave a small wave to acknowledge them and another loud cheer echoed down the streets of Helsinki. 

"Now I know how Jack Kennedy felt in Paris," Jed said to her as he placed his arm around Abbey's waist to lead her in. "I don't think anyone is going to buy that these crowds are out in support of the summit. They're all here to see you, toots. I'm just the man on your arm." There was no maliciousness in his words, no jealousy – in fact, it was just the opposite. He was beaming with pride at the reception his wife was receiving. CJ smiled fondly at her boss' response to his wife's popularity and remarked to herself, yet again, that only an incredibly strong man, one who was completely certain of his own power and worth, could deal with being upstaged by his own wife with actual pleasure. 

"I think that you have one or two admirers yourself," Abbey tilted her head toward the two college aged girls who had welcomed them to the hotel with flowers for Abbey and a kiss on each cheek, European style, for Jed. They were whispering and giggling to each other and touching the cheeks he had kissed as if they would never wash again. 

"Oh, Abbey, they're just girls," he scoffed at the idea. 

"Don't sell yourself short, babe. I've heard even some of Annie's friends think you're pretty hot." Abbey gave a soft laugh at the embarrassed blush that flushed her husband's cheeks. He truly was oblivious to the effect that he had on women young and old. 

Drawn to the window by the cheering outside, Pyotr and Lyudmila Chigorin stood watching the adulation in the scene unfolding below. 

"Well," Chigorin sighed. "The Americans have arrived." 

* * * * 

After a quick refresh, Jed was whisked away to a full day of summit meetings at Mantyniemi, the official residence of the President of Finland, while Abbey was off with Mrs. Chigorin for a day of official visits and sightseeing. Accompanying them was Bonnie, her Russian counterpart, interpreters, and Pentti Arajarvi. Abbey chatted up a storm with Pentti and Bonnie and tried to engage Lyudmila Chigorin, but it was obvious from the older woman's countenance that she had no desire to be on this trip at all. In fact, Abbey had read in the biographies of the couple that Mrs. Chigorin was only rarely seen in public and she pretty much never accompanied her husband abroad. She was a gray haired, heavy-set woman with the cool, dour expression Abbey had seen on Soviet leaders' wives during the Cold War. Evidently, freedom hadn't heated things up too much, she thought, trying not to smile at her own wit. Still, Abbey did try to include the woman in her observations. 

Their first stop of the day was at a place close to Abbey's heart – a visit that she had requested when given a choice of things to do. HUCS Lastenklinikka was a children's hospital where, along with caring for the children of Finland, they also did charity operations for Russian and Estonian children that several organizations raised money for. As Abbey stepped from the limo, another cheer erupted for her from yet another crowd. Ignoring that the calls were for "AA-BBEY", and ever the politician's wife, Abbey stepped closely to Mrs. Chigorin, thus pulling her into the spotlight. The woman gave her a steely glare and Abbey was reminded of those old, stuffy Republican wives back home. It was quite obvious that Lyudmila Chigorin did not approve of Abbey's enthusiasm for the trip, nor the frenzied adulation that seemed to follow her everywhere. 

Abbey had spent most of her adult life working in hospitals, but children's hospitals just broke her heart. She spent most tours as she was now, with a lump in her throat and thinking, "there but for the grace of God, go I". She felt the sting of tears as two children of about six or seven approached her carrying stuffed animals. From their bald heads, Abbey deduced that they were fighting cancer and undergoing chemotherapy. 

"These are for your children, Nicholas and Aislinn," one stated in stiff, stilted, memorized English. 

"They're adorable, thank you," Abbey smiled and accepted the animals. 

"They are Teemu-bears, what are our mascot," said the other girl in more broken English. 

"Well, I'm sure that they will both love them." Abbey kissed each one on top their head, touched that these children who were fighting for their lives would want to give her own children a gift. She passed out little packets of M&M's with the White House logo on them and they continued on down the hall to a neonatal ward. Abbey saw a young woman in tears leaning over an incubator that held a tiny premature baby. Abbey urged the others on and approached the woman. 

"Is this your child?" she asked. Memories flooded her as she took in all the tubes and wires attached to the fragile infant. 

The woman turned, stunned to see Abigail Bartlet. "Yes, my son, Juha," she said, wiping her eyes with embarrassment. 

"It's OK." Abbey took her hand to stop her from wiping the tears. "Believe me, I know just how hard this is. My daughter Zoey was born seven weeks premature." 

"She was?" 

"Yes, and this was the hardest part – sitting and watching her with all those tubes attached and wanting more than anything to hold her in my arms." 

"Wanting to touch him," the woman nodded. 

"And comfort her, and tell her that I was sorry for all the pain that she must be in. But it does get better. Zoey came home and she is strong and healthy and I'm sure your Juha will too. My prayers are with you." Abbey touched the woman's arm and turned to leave the room. 

"Mrs. Bartlet," the woman called out. "Thank you." 

Abbey smiled and moved on to finish the tour. 

Mrs. Chigorin seemed to tour the hospital on autopilot, unable to keep up with Abbey's vast medical knowledge, but finally the woman's façade did crack just a bit when she found Abbey sitting by the bed of a little eighteen-month old girl who was hooked to a heart and lung machine. She was waiting for a heart transplant, and from the looks of it, Abbey was pretty sure that unless they found one very quickly, she was not going to make it. She was sitting quietly stroking the toddler's hand – no interpreters, no press, just a mother and a child almost the same age as her own. She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she remembered Aislinn's tearful good-bye the day before. She couldn't imagine what it must be like for the mother of this little girl and the helplessness she must feel at not being able to save her dying child. 

"It is hard, no?" Lyudmilla asked, placing an arm on Abbey's shoulder. "To watch a child suffer." Abbey turned with surprise. She hadn't been aware that the woman spoke English. 

"Yes, very hard. It's something I've never been able to get used to. They're so innocent, so helpless." 

"You miss your young ones," she said knowingly. 

"Yes, very much. They aren't really talking all that much yet, but both begged me not to leave them to come here. It was really hard to walk away from their tears." 

Lyudmila nodded rubbing her shoulder gently. She had at first been irritated by the younger woman's fashions and the cheering crowds that followed her, but watching Abbey with the children at the hospital had almost made it impossible to dislike her. 

After the visit to the hospital, the entourage entered a sightseeing boat where they dined elegantly while touring the city. Pentti Arajarvi began to address most of his comments and historical observations to the pretty American First Lady, who seemed to absorb the information that he was giving her with much interest. She peppered him with questions and no one seemed to notice that Lyudmila Chigorin looked tired and bored. After lunch and the tour, Bonnie and Pentti informed them that they had a couple of free hours to do some informal shopping. Lyudmila declined the invitation; instead, she wanted to go back to the hotel and rest. They had a long evening ahead of them with a state dinner planned at the Presidential Palace. Abbey, on the other hand, was always up for a good shopping spree and was always on the lookout for souvenirs to bring back to her family and friends. 

As Pentti politely began to follow them toward a limo, Abbey turned to him. "You've been a perfectly charming host," she told him. "But I know that my husband would rather have his eyeteeth removed than spend an afternoon shopping with me." 

Pentti smiled at her somewhat sheepishly. He had not been looking forward to accompanying the women shopping. "I really don't mind," he insisted, but Abbey could see that it was half-hearted. 

"Please, go about your day. I'm sure you have a lot of preparations for the state dinner tonight. I know exactly how that goes. Bonnie and I will be just fine." 

"If you're sure." 

"I insist." 

"Well then," he tipped his hat toward them and began to head to his limo whistling, thoroughly under Abbey Bartlet's spell. While he had known that she was attractive, he had thought that she might be demanding or pushy. Instead she had been a compassionate, eager, and completely lovely touring companion. He wondered if his wife would have similar compliments when speaking about the President. 

* * * * 

Jed sat back in his chair rubbing his weary eyes. The talks had been going non-stop for eight hours with just a quick break for lunch. Most of the day had been spent discussing what to do about the dangerous disarray of the Russian nuclear arsenal and intelligence, and Jed began to wonder if they would ever come up with a satisfactory resolution to that problem. The meeting had begun to break up so that he could return to the hotel and prepare for the state dinner, when he felt something rubbing up against his ankle. He glanced under the table to see two cats. 

"Sorry about that," stated Tarja Halonen, the President of Finland. "I opened the door and they came in." 

"Are they yours?" he asked, leaning down to scratch behind an ear. 

"Yes, that's Miska, and that one is Rontti." She suddenly got an alarmed look on her face. "You're not allergic to cats, are you?" 

"No," Jed grinned. "I lived on a farm and we always had barn cats and my girls always had housecats." 

"Do you have any now?" 

"No. We have a dog." 

"Ah yes, a German Shepherd. The one that got shot when…" Tarja's voice trailed off not wanting to bring up the bad memories of the break-in at Harmony Point and the attack on his wife. It had been big news, even in Finland. 

"Yes, his name is Max. He's a great dog. Listen, could I ask you for a favor?" 

"Of course." 

"My wife is pretty down in the dumps about having to leave our kids behind and I'd like to do something special for her. I know the Chigorins have decided to return right to Russia after the summit and won't be going with us to the Savonlinna Opera Festival, so I was wondering if you might know of somewhere kind of romantic in the area where we could stay, sort of off the record." 

Tarja thought for a moment and a smile broke over her face. "I know the perfect place. Just leave it to me, Mr. President, and I'll take care of all the arrangements." 

"Thank you," Jed gave her a pleased, boyish smile and turned to leave the room. Tarja watched him walk down the hall. She had just met the most powerful man in the world. She had watched him throughout the day. He was an extremely intelligent man who could at any given moment be as tough as nails, brilliantly compromising, or flashing a wit and charm that could diffuse the tension during even the worst of the stalemates. Yet the lasting impression that she had of him was from this last conversation, which showed that the leader of the free world was also a very caring and thoughtful man. It would be very interesting to meet the woman that inspired the romantic side in such a man. She glanced down at her wristwatch and realized that she wouldn't have much longer to wait to do just that. 


	16. Thou Shalt Not Covet

By the time Jed arrived at the hotel suite, it was bustling with the activity of a woman preparing for a party. A hairstylist was busy plugging in a curling iron, while another woman was preparing her cosmetics to do the First Lady's make up. Aides roamed freely but he didn't see Abbey anywhere. He gave Lily a frown and she motioned her head toward the closed bedroom door. He opened it and saw her seated on the edge of the bed with her hair up in big hot curlers. She was wearing a robe to cover her gown and was talking on their cell phone. 

"You guys behave for Izzy and take a good nap. Oh, wait a minute, Daddy just came in. You want to say hi to Daddy?" She held the phone out to Jed who grinned and began to chat with his offspring, ignoring the fact that he only got a few words and mostly babble in response. By the time he hung up, Abbey was staring out the window, cloaked with melancholy. Hearing her daughter's voice had brought to mind that pale, dying little girl in the hospital. 

"You miss them?" Jed placed his hands on her shoulders. 

"Yeah, but it's more than that. I just can't get this little girl I saw at the hospital out of my mind. She's just a little older than Ash and she's waiting for a heart transplant. I don't think that she's going to be able to hold out until they find one. I just sat there holding her hand and thinking how lucky that we are. We've been so lucky with all of our kids." 

"I know." 

"It scares me sometimes. We've almost been too lucky." 

He wanted to tell her not to talk like that, but he couldn't, not when a part of him shared that dark Catholic fatalism. The church had changed so much since he and Abbey were kids. It was now a church of love and inclusion, but the church that they had grown up in was one of rules and punishment. He also could have reminded her that they'd had their share of heartache, the miscarriage between Elizabeth and Ellie, and later their miscarried son Peter. Instead, he rubbed her shoulders comfortingly. 

A soft rap on the door brought them out of their somber recollections. Lily paused a moment waiting for the OK before she poked her head in. She had learned her lesson the hard way, having interrupted the President and First Lady in a heavy duty clinch in the First Lady's East Wing office not long after the President had taken office. 

"Ma'am, they're ready to do your hair and make up." 

"What about me?" Jed asked. "I am the President after all. I thought I might try something a little different. Try a new look." 

Both Lily and Abbey stopped and turned their shocked stares on him. 

"Kidding," he grinned. "I'm just kidding. After all, Abbey, as you so eloquently told me on Air Force One, I haven't changed my hairstyle since 1980." 

* * * * 

"Nervous?" Jed asked as he and Abbey approached the top of the stairwell at the Presidential Palace to be introduced. 

Abbey gave a slight nod. Dressed in her designer gown and all her jewels, like Cinderella on her way to the ball, she could still at times feel like an imposter. As she stared down the wide staircase to the glittering crowd of people below, she realized that after three years the positions that she and Jed held still had the power to overwhelm her. 

"Don't worry, you're gonna knock their socks off." He gave her an appreciative once over from head to toe and from the look in his eyes she knew that she'd done well. 

"The President of the United States and Mrs. Bartlet." The announcement was loud and caused the crowd to cease their chatter and gaze expectantly upwards, as the strains to "Hail to the Chief " began. 

"I believe they're playing your song," Abbey murmured as she linked her arm with his and they began to descend the staircase. 

An excited buzz rose in the crowd as the first couple was sighted. Jed was always very dashing in his white tie and tails, but Abbey had truly outdone herself for the occasion. In deference to her host country, she was a glittering vision in pale blue and white. She wore an icy blue satin sheath that just skimmed her soft curves and displayed the top swells of her breasts. A slit in the side revealed much of one shapely leg. The dainty diamante straps of the gown shimmered where they crisscrossed over her slender bare back. Her fiery curls were swept up off her slender neck and held in place by tiny diamond and aquamarine clips. The same cool gemstones graced her neck and dangled from her ears. She was a radiant combination of fire and ice. 

Jed couldn't help but notice that while he was being introduced to Abbey, President Chigorin's eyes never left the spot on her chest where her sparkling necklace dipped into the 'V' between her breasts. In a masochistic moment, his eyes sought out Leo, wondering what he would see in his best friend's face, but Leo was studiously avoiding looking at Abbey. In fact, he was looking at everything in the room but Abbey, and Jed found that even more telling than if he'd been ogling her. 

It was easy for Tarja now to see just why the President wanted a romantic night with his wife. She was a beautiful woman, and he was certainly no slouch in the looks department himself; and even though she had just met them today, it was very easy to see the powerful attraction they held for one another. Her eyes moved down to the elegant, miniscule, matching handbag that Abbey carried. 

"The Finnish press is going to love you," she informed her. Abbey looked down at her purse with puzzlement, not sure what the Finnish President was talking about. 

"I don't get many marks for style as it is," she informed the very stylish American First Lady. "But what they really hate are my big handbags." 

Abbey glanced down at Tarja's large bulky handbag. It wasn't all that stylish and it didn't really match her subdued rather matronly gown, but did that really matter? Still, Abbey could sympathize with the woman. "For me, it's short skirts." 

"What?" 

"It drives a certain conservative section of the media crazy that I wear skirts cut above the knee. That's never been done before. And, of course, they hate these to." She pulled her skirt aside to reveal a pair of strappy, ice blue, three inch Manolo Blahnik high heels. 

Tarja had to admit that she didn't know how in the hell the other woman could walk in those incredibly high heels, especially without any ankle support; but as Abbey had thought earlier, did it really matter what kind of shoes she liked to wear? 

"I bet it's only jealous women who complain," Tarja said. She imagined that most men would be just fine with Abigail Bartlet wanting to wear short skirts and high heels. 

"Well, them and a few Bible belt preachers. I'm afraid they find me rather sinful." 

Tarja burst into laughter at the First Lady's candor and thought Pyotr Chigorin might be thinking the same thing, only he wouldn't be complaining. 

Chigorin was eyeing the shapely contours of the First Lady's exposed leg, wondering just what it was about high heels like the ones that she wore that made a woman's leg so much more sexy and appealing. 

"I think that it's time to go and wave to the crowd before we do the receiving line and move in for dinner," Tarja informed them all. President Chigorin eagerly took Abbey's arm and they made their way toward the French doors that lead to a large balcony. Jed was left to fall behind with Lyudmila Chigorin. He laid on the charm with the stony-faced Russian woman, trying to get her to at least crack a smile. He didn't succeed. 

A loud cheer resounded as the three Presidents and their spouses stepped out onto the presidential balcony and began to wave. What started out as an overall cheer soon became a chant that Abbey had become familiar with that afternoon. 

"AAA-BBEY, AAA-BBEY!!! 

"They appear to really appreciate you," Chigorin nodded down toward the crowd. 

Abbey didn't know what to say. She couldn't contradict him, the crowd was shouting for her, but she didn't know if he was going to take being upstaged as well as Jed did. After all she wasn't his wife; he wasn't able to derive the same satisfaction that Jed felt at having a wife who was so popular. But, there wasn't any anger in the President of Russia's eyes, just a look that Abbey had seen so many times in the eyes of the opposite sex – blatant appreciation. She wondered how, having seen it so easily in President Chigorin's eyes, she could have missed it for all these years in Leo's. How on God's green earth had she missed it? 

* * * * 

CJ stood in the doorway with a fond smile on her face while she watched the President and First Lady dance along with everyone else in the room. 

"There's no reason a pretty girl like you should be a wallflower." 

CJ jumped at Danny's voice in her ear then turned to him with eyes narrowed over his terminology. 

"I haven't been a GIRL in thirty years," she told him. "And as if you didn't know, this is a working trip for me." 

"You know what they say about all work and no play." 

"I can't afford to play. I have a scandal to avert." She was still pissed that he wouldn't let her keep the pictures. 

Danny sighed and turned to watch the dancing. The President was obviously very comfortable leading his wife around the dance floor and Mrs. Bartlet was exceedingly graceful and light on her feet. "They really are a golden couple, aren't they?" he remarked. 

"They're exactly what a marriage should be, but a lot of times isn't." 

Danny could hear the accusing tone in her voice, as if somehow he was trying to destroy that or taint it in some way. "CJ, I'm sorry I have to take that picture back, but I'll lose all my credibility if I don't." 

"And what about your credibility if this person turns around and runs to the _National Enquirer_ and that picture shows up with some tawdry headline about the First Lady having an affair with her husband's best friend." 

"Then you'll tell them the truth about what happened." 

"You know damn well that people always believe the worst in politicians. They'll think that we're covering up and you know it. And even if they don't, I'll have completely ruined Leo's career." 

"Look, I'll tell her the whole story and try to convince her not to go elsewhere." 

"Ah ha!" She snapped her fingers in his face. "So it's a woman who gave it to you." 

Danny reddened at his slip. "I'm not going to tell you who it is, so you can stop trying to play Mata Hari." 

Oh, CJ thought, as she stared into his frustrated green eyes. You don't know Mata Hari yet, buster, not by half. 

Danny could see that he wasn't going to get anywhere with CJ when she was in this "protect her boss" mode. He knew that this meant more to her than her job. It was more than a press secretary trying to shield her boss and his wife. CJ loved the President and First Lady; they had become like family to her and everyone knew that you were supposed to protect your family. Moreover, Danny knew that if the tables were turned, Jed and Abbey Bartlet would do whatever they could to protect CJ. So, he decided to change his tactics and go professional. "Am I still set for the exclusive with Abbey on the way home on Air Force One?" 

"Yes, although I don't know why she picked YOU for the exclusive." 

"Maybe because SHE likes me." 

"There's no accounting for taste, I guess. This IS the same woman who puts ketchup on her pancakes, after all." 

"Abbey puts ketchup on her pancakes?" Danny grimaced. 

"Oh God, don't write that," CJ groaned. "It was when she was pregnant with the twins. She doesn't do it now. She…" 

"CJ, I'm a serious journalist," he grinned. "Do you honestly think I'm going to write a story about the First Lady's favorite condiments? Besides, I like her too. You know, she thinks that you should give me chance." 

"She SAID that?!" CJ nearly yelped. Abbey had been trying to fix her up for years now, and the one man she was consistently pushing her toward was Danny Concannon. For some reason, Abbey thought they would be a perfect couple, but CJ hadn't known that she was doing a little pushing with Danny, too. 

"Oh God, does that man have a death wish?" Josh came up behind CJ and she turned to see what he was talking about. The dance had ended and people surrounded the President, but the First Lady had walked away toward the open doors to get a little air. What made them all hold their breath was that Leo was making his way over towards her. 

"Not now, Leo," CJ muttered under her breath. "Don't do this now." 

* * * * 

"Hello, Abbey." 

Abbey turned, startled to see Leo. 

"Hi, Leo. You're not going to ask me to dance, are you?" 

"Asking you to dance was how I got in trouble the last time," he said ruefully. "I just wanted to get the chance to talk to you." 

"Leo, I don't think that this is the time or the place," Abbey demurred. 

"I know. I just couldn't wait any longer to tell you how sorry that I am. It's…" 

"I believe the lady said that she DIDN'T want to talk to you tonight." Jed's thunderous words and the murderous expression on his face caused both Leo and Abbey to start. "Do you understand that 'no' means no? Oh, that's right, you DON'T understand that." 

"I understand that VERY well," Leo stated angrily. "I've never had to force myself on a woman." 

"Well, you certainly tried to with my WIFE." 

"OK, that's enough, you two." Abbey hissed. "People are starting look over here." 

"I told you not to come near her," the furious tone to Jed's words came through even in his whisper. 

"She's an adult. She can talk to whoever she wants." 

"OK, there is way too much testosterone aggression in this corner right now. I'm going to go mingle. Jed, when you're finished with this little pissing contest, you really should come and join me." 

As she swept away toward the dance floor, she heard a photographer asking President Chigorin if he would pose for a picture with President Bartlet. 

"I'd rather pose with his wife," Chigorin boomed, and took another shot of vodka. So, while Leo and Jed stared each other down in a corner, Abbey posed on the arm of the half drunk Russian President. 

"Now, a toast." Chigorin grabbed shot glasses of vodka and handed one to Abbey. "To the lovely American First Lady who has truly brightened a day full of dull meetings." He tossed back his vodka easily while Abbey stared for a moment at hers. The shot glass was twice the size of an American one and she didn't usually drink hard alcohol straight, but it would also be rude not to drink to the toast made in her honor. Oh well, while in Rome, she thought as she tossed back the shot. Her eyes immediately began to water and she coughed, trying not to make a scene of gasping for air, as the burning liquid seared a path down her throat. 

Chigorin laughed at her response to the potent liquor. "That's good Russian vodka," he informed her. "Not that watered down, sissy American stuff." 

Abbey smiled wanly at him, still trying to catch her breath. 

"Here," he handed her another glass. 

"Well, Mr. President, you wouldn't be trying to get me a little tipsy, would you?" 

"Of course not, Mrs. Bartlet. I'm trying to get you drunk." 

Abbey blinked at a loss for a moment by the man's honesty, then burst into laughter as she tossed the second drink down. It didn't go down nearly as hard as the first one. 

By the time Jed reluctantly left the confrontation he wanted to have with Leo and moved to join his wife, she was on her third shot of vodka and was clapping with the other guests while the red-faced President of Russia performed a Russian folkdance for her. 

"Join me!" Chigorin called out. 

"I'm afraid I don't know any Russian folkdances. The closest I come is an Irish jig." 

"An Irish jig it is then. Play something Irish," he called out to the band. 

Jed placed an arm around Abbey's waist. He could tell from the slight slur in her voice that she was feeling no pain. 

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline the offer. You see…" 

"Abbey only does the jig on St. Paddy's Day," Jed finished for her. His wife was amazing, even three sheets to the wind she was still gracious. 

Abbey turned to him and leaned heavily against him. "Jed, I think I'm drunk," she informed him. 

"Abbey, I KNOW you're drunk." 

* * * * 

"That was fun," Abbey exclaimed as she plopped rather unladylike into the limo. "The President was a hell of lot more fun than hanging out with his sour puss of a wife." 

"Tell me about it. I had to spend the night at her table and dance with her. I don't think she said two words to me." 

"Poor Jeddy," she purred, sliding over to press up against him. "That famous Bartlet charm didn't do the trick? You should have just batted your baby blues at her and she would have been putty in your hands." 

"I don't bat my baby blues." He glanced down at where her fingers were playing with the buttons on his shirt. "What are you doing?" he asked with amusement. 

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm undressing you." 

"Uh, Abbey, we can't do this here." He tried to push her insistent hands off his chest. 

"Why not? It's not like we've never done it in a limo." She began to run her lips along his jaw and he could smell the vodka on her breath. She was definitely trashed and, Christ, if she wasn't sexy when she was drunk. 

"Hey, you know I'm always up for a little quickie, but…" 

"Oh, I know you're always up for it." She cupped her hand over the front of his pants feeling him spring to life. 

"BUT…" he gritted his teeth against his body's involuntary response to her caress and removed her hand. "We are only about a block away from the hotel." 

"I don't wanna wait," she sulked. 

"I promise I'll make it worth it." His voice was silky in her ear. 

"I'm going to hold you to that." 

* * * * 

Jed held Abbey tightly around the waist to keep her from stumbling anymore than she was. The high heels that he had removed from her feet dangled from his fingertips. His senior staff was giving him funny looks as he walked his singing wife down the hall. 

"Just this little bit of my love, this is how it should begin, skin on skin…" Abbey sang as they made their way toward their suite. 

"She tried to drink President Chigorin under the table," he explained to them. "All 110 pounds of her." 

The grin left his face as an angry Abbey stomped on his foot. "Jed, don't tell them how much I WEIGH." 

The staff bit back amused smiles as Jed turned back to face Ron. 

"Are you gonna let her get away with that?" he asked the Secret Service man. 

"Well, it isn't very gentlemanly to announce a lady's weight – even if she is just a wisp of thing. I think you deserved the stomp." 

"Thank you, Ron," Abbey flashed him that smile that always made his heart flip. 

Jed turned to open the door to his and Abbey's suite and as he removed his arm, Abbey began to slide down to the floor. Leo had been standing right next to her and it was an automatic reflex to reach out to catch her. Unfortunately, Jed had the same reflex. 

"I've got her," Jed said angrily as he pulled her away from the other man to haul her up against his body. Leo immediately backed off. 

"My hero," Abbey's voice was throaty as she tapped Jed's face. 

"Do you need any help, sir?" CJ was openly grinning now. 

"Naw, I think I've got it under control. Good-night, everyone." 

He pulled Abbey into the suite and as soon as the door shut behind them, she plastered herself to his body, pushing him back up against the wall. Her lips were on his, her tongue in his mouth, and she was trying to push his tuxedo jacket off his shoulders. 

"Abbey…Abbey." He pulled back from her embrace. 

"What now?" she demanded with frustration. 

"I was just remembering that the last time we were in a foreign country and you were drunk and jumping my bones like this I ended up with two more kids." 

"Jed." 

"What?" 

"Shut up and kiss me." 

Jed grinned and obediently bent to the task ready to kiss her breath away. He felt himself hardening as she ground her pelvis into him. His hands had just moved up from her hips to cup over her breasts and he was thinking just how turned on he was by his beautiful, amorous wife, when she suddenly pushed back against him, hard. He banged his head on the wall. 

"Abbey?" He rubbed the back of his head with a frown. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick." She covered her mouth with her palm and stumbled away toward the bathroom. 

Jed followed close behind. He knelt behind her and rubbed her back while she retched. "You know this isn't the response that I usually get for a kiss. You're damaging my ego." 

"Oh, Jed," she moaned. "I really don't feel well." 

"I know, baby." He began to take the clips out of her hair so he could stroke the back of her head. "That's what happens when you mix champagne and vodka." 

Abbey nodded, got dizzy, and fell back against him. 

When she was finished throwing up, Jed helped her to her feet and led her to the bedroom. "One step at a time, beautiful." 

Their pace was so slow, he finally, simply, lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed where he proceeded to strip her down to the slinky, silk, aquamarine slip that she was wearing. Her limp hand fell across one breast and he groaned aloud as his body sprang back to life. "Man, are you going to owe me big time, Abs," he told her as he eased her silky nylons off. 

"Mmmm…." she murmured sleepily. 

"You can't just get a man all hot and bothered like this and not come through. You know what they call girls like that?" He rolled her onto her belly and began to brush the back of her hair. 

"Mmm… a cooocktease," she drew the word out on a slur. 

"Yup, and you are sure are teasing mine tonight." He began to remove her jewelry. 

"Sorry." 

"You're just lucky that you're so damn cute when you're drunk." 

"You said…sexy…not cute." 

"Cute AND sexy. Well, when you're not throwing up anyway." He got up and began to walk away from the bed. 

"Don't go, Jed," she called out languidly. 

"I'm coming right back," he assured her. By the time he returned with a glass of water and a couple of aspirin, she was almost asleep. 

"Abbey, I want you to take these." 

"Leave me alone," she groaned. 

"Come on, sweetheart. You're going to have a hell of a hangover as it is. This will help." He tried to push the aspirin between her lips. 

"Stop it, Jed. I'm drunk and I'm sick. Let me sleep." 

"Just take these, sweetpea, and I'll quit bugging you." 

He finally got her to take a sip of the water and swallow the pills, then swung her legs up on the bed to tuck her in. He slipped out of his own clothes and slid under the sheets next to her. Abbey immediately rolled toward his warm body and lifted her lips to him for a goodnight kiss. 

"I love you," she smiled up at him beatifically then promptly passed out on his chest. 

Jed smiled down at her tenderly and nuzzled his lips in her hair. "Oh yes, my darling, you are going to owe me for this." 


	17. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"Abbey, baby doll, time to wake up." 

The sound of her husband's cheerful voice penetrated the deep alcohol induced fog of Abbey's sleep. She experimentally moved her head and moaned at the hammering pain. Jed either didn't notice the agony she was in or he was ignoring it because he continued to sing that damn Beatles song he had been singing in the shower. "Here comes the sun, do do do do, here comes the sun and I say, it's alright…" Over and over it went until she wanted to tell him just where to shove his sunshine, only that would take more energy than she had at the moment. She cracked one eye and saw him vigorously towel drying his hair. Just the sight of all that energetic movement caused her nausea of the night before to make another appearance. 

"Come on, angelpuss, rise and shine." He pushed open the drapes and the bright sunshine pierced through Abbey's eyes like an ice pick. 

"Oh, Christ, shut the damn drapes, you sadist monster," she groaned. 

Jed turned to see her. She had curled up into a ball, her knees drawn to her chest and the palms of her hands covered her eyelids to keep out the light. 

"Unh uh. You don't want to be late for another day with Mrs. Chigorin." 

Abbey removed her palms to glare at him. "What did I ever do to you to make you so MEAN. You are just plain MEAN this morning." 

"Do you remember anything about last night?" Jed had to bite back a smile at the look of horror that crossed his wife's face. 

Abbey tried frantically to recall what she might have done the previous night. She remembered President Chigorin giving her vodka shots. It was then that she looked down to see that she was still wearing her slip from the night before. "What did I do?" The words came out on a pitiful moan. "Did I make a fool of myself?" 

"Well, President Chigorin wanted you to do an Irish jig for everyone." 

Abbey's eyes widened and when that proved incredibly painful, she pressed her fingers to her temples. "Please tell me that I didn't," she pleaded. 

Jed paused a few seconds letting her think the worst. 

"Jed?" 

"No, you didn't," he smiled. "I explained that you only do it on St. Paddy's Day." 

"Thank God," she sighed, then looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Why did you let me think that I had? You're just plain evil this morning. 

"I have my reasons." 

"What reason could you possibly have for kicking your beloved wife when she is down?" 

"Think further into the evening." 

Abbey stared at him blankly. 

"You don't remember being in the limo and wrapping yourself all over me like a sheet on a mummy?" 

"No, I do NOT," she sniffed haughtily. "You must have been having a fantasy dream again." But, truth to tell, the memories were starting to flood back to her and she had been all over Jed like a bitch in heat. 

"It was no dream, babycakes. You were all over me ready to jump my bones. Hell, it was all I could do to protect my innocent virtue from your greedy sexual needs." 

Abbey couldn't help but laugh at the image of her lusty husband as the victim of her unwanted physical advances. 

"And you, being the gentleman that you are, refused to take advantage of a lady in that condition, of course." 

"Now, I didn't say THAT. I certainly wasn't feeling very gentlemanly toward you last night. But, then again, you weren't exactly acting like a lady." 

"Excuse me?" She lifted an eyebrow. 

"Honey, LADIES don't rub up against a man like you did last night; they don't slide their tongues into a man's mouth the way that you did last night, and they certainly don't feel a man up the way that you did last night." 

"Josiah Bartlet, are you telling me that you don't think that I am a lady? I'm the FIRST LADY, for crying out loud." 

"Abbey, there is a time and a place to be a lady, and when it is time for you to be a lady, there is nobody who can hold a candle to you. But I'll tell you, the LAST place on earth that I WANT you to be a lady is in my bed." 

"So what's the problem then? Wasn't I any good? I mean come on, what did you expect? I was pretty smashed." 

"Oh you were real good, very good, very hot, very sexy…right up to the moment that you threw up on me." 

"Shut UP, I did not," she grabbed her head as the high pitch to her voice caused the throbbing to begin to hammer behind her eyes again. 

"Well, maybe not on me," he admitted. "But the usual response that I get to getting hot and heavy like that is not my wife breaking away to run and vomit." 

Abbey gave him a rueful smile as he triggered her memory of last night's events. "And you undressed me for bed." 

"Not the way I had expected, but yes." 

"And you brushed my hair and tucked me in." 

"I did." 

"You took care of me," she said in a sweet little girl voice. "My big sweet bear." She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his chest. 

"Yes I did," he kissed the top of her head. 

A room service knock on the door shattered the silence of the room. "Come in!" Jed called out nearly right into Abbey's ear. 

"Jed!" she groaned and began to pull the sheet up over her head. "You are a hateful, evil man." 

"And you still owe me, precious," he grinned at her. 

* * * * 

Abbey, in a dark sleek suit and dark sunglasses turned to look at her husband's staff as the chorus of overly cheerful calls of "Good morning, Mrs. Bartlet" followed her down the hall. 

She didn't disappoint. "Just what exactly is good about it?" she wanted to know. 

"Feeling a little under the weather this morning?" Sam noted. 

"You people actually run the free world?" Abbey asked incredulously. 

"May I ask you a question, Mrs. B.? Josh asked. 

"Yes, Josh, I have a hell of a hangover and no, I won't be tossing back anymore vodka shots with President Chigorin." 

"That wasn't the question," Josh grinned. "But it is good to know. I was just wondering about that song that you were singing to the President last night – the one about wanting skin on skin. How does the rest of it go?" 

Abbey felt herself start to blush, the unfortunate side to her Irish fair skin; but she wasn't going to let Mr. Full of himself, Josh Lyman, get one up on her. "Oh, that song," she said as she approached him. "It goes something like this," she tiptoed up and began to whisper something in his ear. If Josh's wide eyes and flaming red face were any indication, it was something pretty risqué. 

When she was finished, she backed up and smiled sweetly up at him. "Don't mess with me when I have a hangover AND P.M.S.." She turned and began to head back down the hall. 

"I always have liked her style," CJ grinned. 

Jed gave her a wink and turned to his staff. "OK, troops, let's hit the road." 

* * * * 

Pentti Arajarvi and Lyudmila Chigorin waited patiently with the group of ambassadors for the arrival of Abigail Bartlet. When she did finally enter the lobby ahead of her husband and his entourage, they gave each other knowing glances. Dark sunglasses inside could only mean one thing – a headache of gargantuan proportion. Pentti winced. He'd been on the bad side of a Russian vodka hangover more than once, and poor Abbey had been drinking champagne to boot. She had to be completely miserable and instead of shaking it off by sleeping in, she had a full day of activities planned. 

"Abigail!" the booming voice of President Chigorin slammed through her head with the force of a sledgehammer. Why must men shout her name, she wondered. For a moment Pyotr Chigorin had sounded suspiciously like Lord John Marbury. Then, while her fingers flew to her temple, she faced Chigorin with as bright a smile as she could muster. 

"Mr. President," she nodded slightly. 

"It's Pyotr, remember?" 

"Yes, Pyotr." 

"I wanted to see you before I leave with your husband for the meetings. I wanted to give this token to the fair American First Lady to remember the night that she danced and drank with the Russian bear." He grinned and handed her a crystal shot glass with the imprint of the Kremlin on it. 

Just seeing the shot glass caused the bile to rise in Abbey's throat. "Th…thank you," she swallowed gamely. "Believe me, it's not a night that I will ever forget." 

Jed smiled at the double entendre. "You're a gutsy broad, Mrs. B.," he whispered into Abbey's ear, and gave her rear a soft tap as he passed her on his way to the motorcade. 

Once in her limo, Abbey rested her pounding head back against the seat. 

"Here, this may help." 

Abbey opened her eyes to see Lyudmila handing her a small thermos. 

"What is it?" Abbey asked. 

"A special remedy for being under the weather. It has been passed down in my husband's family for centuries. I thought you might need it this morning." 

Abbey smiled at the euphemism. "It's not hair of the dog, is it?" 

"I didn't put any hair from my dog in it," she said, puzzled as to why Abbey would think that. 

"I mean it doesn't have any alcohol in it, does it?" 

"No," Lyudmila smiled. "It is safe. My husband likes his vodka; he needs this quite frequently. Your husband was smart not to try to compete with him." 

"Yeah, well, Jed is more a scotch or beer man." Abbey took the thermos, but before she could drink from it, an agent took it from her to test it first. 

"Is it dangerous?" Abbey asked with a smirk. 

"It's pretty dangerous," the agent grimaced, "but it isn't going to kill you. At least, I don't think it will." 

* * * * 

After two days of frustrating, stressful meetings, the official summit was over and the Russian President and his wife headed home, while the American President and his wife headed north to the Savonlinna Opera Festival as guests of honor of the Finnish President. 

"We really have to go to the Opera tonight?" Josh grumbled as the motorcade pulled up to the Art Centre Retretti. 

"Maybe a little culture will rub off on you," Abbey suggested. 

"What are we seeing?" Toby asked. 

"Let's hope it's not an operatic version of _Othello_." It was said under Jed's breath, but everyone heard. The words elicited an elbow to the ribs from Abbey and a dirty look from Leo. 

"We're seeing Verdi's _Rigoletto_ ," Abbey told them. "And I'm sure that it will be a perfectly lovely evening." 

Abbey's statement put a halt to any griping about the evening ahead and Jed looked at them all flabbergasted. 

"Why is it that when I try to shut you all up with a statement like that, you just ignore me and keep grumbling?" 

"Cause we're a bunch of brown nosers trying to get in good with the boss' wife?" Sam suggested. 

"What about trying to get in good with the boss, himself?" 

"Naw, he'd see right through that. We need to be covert," Josh grinned. 

After going underground to the caves to see the art exhibition, they were taken on to a local cruise ship from Retretti to Savonlinna. On the deck of the boat, Abbey could see the huge Olavinlinna castle on its own on an island on the lake. It was where they would be attending the opera tonight. 

"Imposing, isn't it?" Jed asked. 

"Romantic," Abbey sighed. "I think tonight is going to be very romantic." 

"You have no idea." 

* * * * 

The Savonlinna Opera festival was a huge cultural event that drew people from all over the world. The outdoor castle yard was filled to the brim every evening and this evening the excitement was even more palpable as the President of the United States was to be in attendance. 

Jed and Abbey had been warned that evenings at the outdoor courtyard could be quite cool. However, as they toured the medieval castle before the show, Abbey was happy that it wasn't anything like the frigid temperatures they'd experienced on the day of their arrival. She wore stylish lined, wool houndstooth slacks with a black ribbed sweater turtleneck, a matching houndstooth bolero jacket and black leather boots. Jed looked every inch the college professor in his casual brown and tan blazer with the requisite suede elbow patches that Abbey found incredibly sexy. There were many looks on her husband that she found irresistible – white tie and tails and jeans and a sweatshirt just to name a few – but Professor Jed with his elbow patches and sweater vest and that lock of hair that fell over his forehead was right up there at the very top. 

As they made their way to their seats, Abbey noticed that many couples had blankets on their laps and was thankful to see a heavy wool blanket reserved for them by their seats of honor. She was even more thankful for it later in the evening, after intermission, when the temperature began to plummet. Suddenly, her wool bolero jacket was not enough to keep out the cold. 

Jed felt Abbey shiver beside him and saw her try to tuck her hands up into her jacket. The gods were definitely on his side tonight. He bent down to retrieve their blanket and spread it over both of them. Abbey smiled at him and took his hand under the blanket to play with his fingers. It was incredibly romantic sitting out under the stars at the open theatre while the beautiful music of Verdi filled the dark night air. Before long, Abbey felt Jed's fingers begin flexing over her knee. She gazed his way but he was deeply engrossed in the opera and was probably doing it unconsciously. She thought that for all of about three minutes, until his nimble fingers began working their way higher to knead her thigh gently. She wondered if he knew just what he was doing to her. She wanted to squirm in her seat, she wanted to part her thighs, and she wanted him to do it harder. Still, he pretended not to be aware of what he was doing, that is until the pulsing ache at the juncture of Abbey's thighs became to much for her and she parted her knees where her legs had been crossed in a ladylike position even under the blanket. It was the sly knowing smile that crossed briefly on his lips that gave him away. Oh yes, he was very aware of what he was doing to her. 

Abbey placed her hand over his to still his movement. He allowed her a brief respite, allowed her to get back involved in the opera, then he went in for the kill. Abbey was completely immersed in the opera, but not so much that she didn't feel his feather light fingers advancing up her inner thigh. 

"Don't you dare," she whispered, a smile still plastered on her face. 

"You know better than to dare me," he whispered back. 

In the next instant, Abbey felt his index finger begin to trace the line of the pant seam that ran between her legs. He felt the slight jump that she gave and the almost indiscernible intake of breath. Her hand moved back to cover his – to stop him from creating this torturous need within her. She tried to push his hand away from her, but he was having none of that. Abbey realized that if she didn't stop fighting him soon, everyone around them would wonder what all the wrestling under the blanket was about. She stopped pushing at him and his hand cupped between her legs again, his middle finger moving insistently up and down that seam. Abbey felt the pulsing begin again, felt the need to press herself up hard against that invading hand. It took almost all the self control that she had to keep her breathing steady and even, to keep from arching her neck and moaning, when all she could think about was how much she wanted Jed to slide that damn hand of his inside her pants to stroke her naked flesh. 

Jed felt her hips squirm against him, saw her teeth bite down on her sexy, full lower lip and couldn't help the very male, very self-satisfied grin. 

Abbey couldn't believe it; she was going to come right here in the midst of over two thousand people. But just as that thought crossed her mind and her breath began to catch in her throat, she saw everyone around her jump to their feet in applause. The opera was over. No, this couldn't be. Just another minute and she would have… She stopped herself from giving a cry of distress as Jed removed his hand so he could clap. 

"Sorry, babe, we'll have to finish this later," Jed whispered into her ear. He could see the dazed look of unsatisfied desire in her eyes and grabbed her elbow to help her to her shaky feet. Suddenly cognizant of where she was and what was going on, Abbey began to clap. 

"You were really are a hateful, evil man," she hissed through her smile. "That was about last night, wasn't it? 

"Payback's a bitch, baby doll." 

It was the wink that almost got him a knee to the groin. 

* * * * 

As they walked arm and arm toward the entrance, Jed suddenly swung to the left. 

"Uh, Jed, I think that big long line of black cars out front belongs to us." 

"It's a beautiful night. We don't need to ride." He steered her to the back exit of the castle and out onto the edge of the dark lake. It was obviously a planned move as the Service was already in place. 

"We aren't even walking the right direction back to the hotel," Abbey protested. 

"That's because we aren't going to the hotel." 

"OK, I'll bite. Where are we going?" 

"Your chariot awaits, madam." Jed bent at the waist and gestured to his left. Abbey turned to see a huge white yacht lit up with tiny white lights. Soft music emanated from its deck. 

"Is this you're idea of a peace offering?" she couldn't help her delighted smile. As grand romantic gestures went, this one took the cake. 

"Do you accept?" 

"You know, Jed, sometimes you are just as sweet as a Georgia peach." She gave him a loud, smacking kiss on the lips, then looked up at him, her eyes shiny with her love for him. God, he thought, cupping her soft cheek in his palm, what he wouldn't do to get her to look up at him like that. He would move mountains, stop the tides, and tame a hurricane, whatever it took to make her look at him with those adoring eyes that told him that he was the most special person in the world to her. Thankfully, this time it had been as easy as renting a yacht. 

Abbey cupped her own palm over his rough shaven jaw. "Of course I accept, you knucklehead." 


	18. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Abbey stood on the deck of the yacht with Jed's arms wrapped around her from behind. She leaned her head back on his shoulder and watched the glittering lights of the castle fade as they progressed through the night to the far shore. 

"So, did you really plan all this by yourself?" she asked him. 

"I'm good, but I'm not that good. I had a little help." He nudged his head over to where Pentti and Tarja sat at the table nursing their nightcaps and picking at the Finnish pastries that had been laid out for their arrival. "You were really down about leaving the kids behind and I wanted to do something to cheer you up, so I asked Tarja for a little help in planning a romantic getaway once all the official stuff was finished." 

"Well, it worked. Consider me cheered." 

"Of course, that was before I realized that you weren't going to need me to cheer you; that you were going to walk off that plane and steal the show from start to finish." He kissed the top of her head. 

"Jed, I'd rather have one hug from Nicky or Aislinn than even 100,000 people cheering for me." 

"I know, and that's just one of the reasons that I love you so much." 

She turned in his arms to face him and lifted a hand to run her fingers gently over his brow. The worry lines had been deeply grooved for the past few days and it was only tonight that they had seemed to soften just a bit. "I just hope that now that this summit is over you will be able to relax, at least for a couple of days, before we go home." She knew what awaited him at home: some type of major confrontation over Leo that would decide his Chief of Staff's fate, the Democratic Convention, a summer and fall of whirlwind campaigning culminating with the debates and the election. It would be up to her to make the most of the free days given to see to it that he did get in some real R & R. 

"Well now, honey, a lot of that is up to you. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to help me relax?" 

"The sacrifices that I make for my country," she gave a weary sigh that earned her a pinch on the rear. 

"Sacrifices, my ass," he whispered throatily into her ear. "I'm gonna remind you that you said that later tonight when you're begging me for it." 

"Jed!" she covered his mouth with her palm and turned her head to see if the other couple had overheard her husband. It was on the tip of her sharp little tongue to inform him that she didn't beg. but she knew very well that he would prove her wrong on that front. When it came to what Jed could do to her in bed, she had no shame whatsoever, and begging was the easiest way to get what she wanted. 

* * * * 

The flickering of lights through the trees in the distance finally broke up the darkness of the lake and the woods that surrounded it. Not knowing where they were going, Abbey watched with interest to see the yacht head toward the lights and finally dock on the shore of what she could see was a hidden lakeside villa. If the Olavinlinna castle had been imposing in its romance, the lace-like wooden filigree of the villa held a more intimate romantic setting. Nestled on the edge of the water and deep in the woods, there was a cozy privacy to it that the castle had lacked. 

The two couples and their agents made their way through the still of the night, guided by the moon and the small ground lights that marked the trail. 

"Is this where we're spending the night?" Abbey asked Jed. 

"This is it. Rauhanlinna. It was built by Nils Weckman, head of fortification in the Czar's army, as a silver wedding present for his wife in 1900. What do you think?" 

"I think you did real good." She lifted the hand that held hers to kiss the back of his knuckles. "I feel like nobody can find us here." 

Jed heard the wistful note in her voice. He knew how hard it was for Abbey to live in the goldfish bowl that their lives had become. He had been teasing her throughout the trip about her cheering admirers; but admiration came at a cost, and part of that cost had been giving up her privacy. Every time she left the White House she had to be perfectly dressed and coifed as her every move was carefully monitored. Because of that, moments of sheer privacy, such as what was being afforded them now at the villa, were cherished and treasured. 

"Don't worry about rushing to get up in the morning," Tarja told them as she and Pentti stopped in front of the Bartlets' suite to say good night. "Whenever you're ready to go, just stop at our room and I'll give you the key." 

"Tarja, thank you – both of you. This place is great. It's just what we need." Jed squeezed the Finnish President's hand lightly. 

"You're very welcome. I'm just hoping you will leave my country with fond memories." 

"I'm sure it will be a trip that we won't forget," Abbey assured her. 

Inside their elegantly rustic room, their bed had been turned down and a fire had been laid. While Jed slipped off his coat and bent to start the fire, Abbey stepped out onto the small balcony that faced the trail to the dock and the lake. The full moon cast a bright swath across the blackness of the water; and although she knew that there were other people in the villa, it felt very much like she and Jed had the place to themselves. 

"OK, fire's lit," Jed said as he joined her on the balcony. "Now I believe that we have some unfinished business to take care of." He took her hand and pulled her up against him. The soft glow of the moon caressed her lovely face and Jed felt the overpowering need to touch that beauty. He pushed a curling tendril of hair back behind her ear then let his index finger trace the delicate lines of her cheekbone and jaw. It was Abbey who made the first move, unable to wait any longer for what he had denied her earlier. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and her lips touched his in a kiss that told him that she really meant business. At the feel of her tongue stroking the roof of his mouth, Jed lost all sense of reason. His hands pulled her sweater out from where it had been tucked into her pants and began to run up and down the smooth expanse of her back, pressing her closely into him. Abbey grabbed his butt and pulled his hips up hard against hers so she could feel what this kiss was doing to him. The pulsing between her thighs began to quicken as the hard bulge of him rubbed against her. 

Jed wanted her closer, pressed harder against the ache that was heavy and throbbing at his groin; but just as his hands began to disappear into the back of her pants to cup her soft rear, there was a loud clearing of a throat from the next balcony. 

"Good NIGHT, Mr. President," called out one of their agents. It was warning call meant to let them know that they could be seen before they got too carried away. 

Abbey let her breath out on a soft sigh. Evidently, the illusion of privacy was just that, an illusion. Then the ridiculousness of the situation struck her and she gave a quiet giggle into Jed's chest. 

"Thanks, guys," Jed called back, then whispered gruffly to Abbey, "I don't know what's so funny. I'm so damn hard I can barely walk." 

"Then wait out here a few minutes. I'll make it worth your while." She left him out on the balcony and it was all Jed could do to keep himself from peeking to see what the little minx was up to. After a few minutes, despite the fact that his ardor had not cooled one iota thanks to the tantalizing images of what Abbey was up to that filled his imagination, he re-entered the suite. The lights were all off. 

"Abbey," he called out, puzzled. 

"I'm over here, Jed," she answered throatily. 

Jed turned and felt all the saliva dry in his mouth. There in front of the flickering fire, Abbey lay on her side on the bearskin rug completely naked. The paleness of her skin was enhanced by the darkness of the fur. Her tousled reddish curls tumbled over her shoulder and the firelight cast tantalizing shadows over the rosy tips of her nipples and the dark triangle between her thighs. She looked wanton, erotic, and totally fuckable. 

"Jed, it's getting a little cold over here." She ran her hand sensuously over the fur. "Are you planning to join me?" 

"As soon as I can breathe again." Jed discarded his pants easily enough but his anxious fingers were clumsy when it came to unbuttoning his shirt. 

"Here, let me." Abbey got up on her knees and pulled him down so they were face to face. Staring deeply into his intense eyes, she began to unbutton his shirt for him. When she had finally pushed it off his shoulders, her lips began to press little kisses over his chest. Jed gave a deep groan of pleasure as her tongue found and began to tease his flat nipple just as her hand slipped inside the slit in his boxers to close over him. 

"Abbey…" he moaned, needing her to stroke him. 

"You like that?" she whispered huskily as she gave one caress up his length, her thumb rubbing softly around his sensitive rim. 

"God, yes. Please, more." He grabbed her wrist to get her to stroke in the rhythm that he ached for. 

"Jed, there was a conversation that you wanted to remind me of from earlier tonight." 

"Was there?" His mind fuddled with desire, he couldn't for the life of him think what they had been discussing earlier and, at this point, he could not care less. Right now all he wanted was to keep feeling her stroking him and to take that sweet rosy nipple into his mouth. 

Abbey sighed as his hot, wet mouth closed over the tip of her breast. The pulsing between her legs became more intense and began to throb in time to the squeezing suction of his mouth. "Yes," she tried not to groan. "But I think that it's you who is doing all the begging right now." 

"Right now being the operative words." He laid her back on the incredible silky softness of the fur rug, his fingers running over her belly down to the soft damp curls between her legs in a repetition of what he had done earlier at the opera. However, without any clothes to impede the sensations it was so much more intense and when Jed slid his fingers into her depths and over the soft little nub of sensitized flesh, she gave an abandoned cry of pleasure. When his fingers stopped, she whimpered with frustration. 

"Jed…" 

"Ask me nicely." 

”What?" 

"Ask me nicely to continue." 

She knew that he wanted her to beg, and while at other times she enjoyed a battle of the wills with her husband, to do so tonight would just be cutting off her nose to spite her face. "Please continue," she urged him. 

"That's more like it." 

He settled in between her open thighs and slid deeply inside knowing that within moments both would be begging the other for that ultimate release. 

* * * * 

On the other side of the Bartlets from the agents, Tarja and Pentti lay in bed talking softly. The noises from the room next door caused a smile to cross Pentti's face. 

"You didn't happen leave them a copy of 'When Harry Met Sally' by any chance, did you?" Pentti asked with amusement, knowing darn well that while it sounded like it, it was not the famous sandwich shop scene from the movie playing in the next room. 

"No." Tarja told him. 

"I take it then that you neglected to tell the President that this place hasn't been renovated in over a hundred years and the wood walls are paper thin." 

"Oh God, I forgot." She buried her face in Pentti's arm. "They'll be so embarrassed." 

"They never have to know. The only other people in this part of the villa are you and me and their agents and somehow I assume their agents have heard this all before." 

"Somehow I think you're right." 

* * * * 

Later the next morning after a leisurely breakfast on their balcony, they found Tarja and Pentti having brunch in the dining area. 

"Ready to head off?" Tarja asked. She whispered something into the waiter's ear then dug into her pocket and took out a key, which she handed to Jed. 

"What is that for?" Abbey asked. "Where are we going?" 

"You couldn't make a visit to Finland without experiencing a real Finnish sauna. The key is to our private lakeside sauna. I assure you, you will have complete privacy both at the sauna and in the lake." 

The waiter returned and handed Tarja a small cooler and a picnic basket. 

"Now you're all set," Pentti grinned and pulled out a six pack of Lapin Kulta beer. "You can't sauna without an ice cold beer. The best way to experience the health benefits to the sauna is to remove all your clothes and keep throwing water on the stones. You must sweat profusely to rid the body of all its unhealthy toxins. Then, when you can no longer bear the heat any longer you must run straight into the ice cold lake." 

"Run naked down to the lake?" Abbey cast a skeptical look over to Tarja. "Did my husband put you up to saying that?" 

"Afraid not," Tarja laughed. "It's true. It is the way we do it. At least, when we have the privacy to do so." 

"Well, it's not the way I'm doing it," Abbey grumbled. "I have enough of a reputation with the Secret Service. I certainly don't need to put on another free show." 

"But, Abbey, that's the way they do it here," Jed protested. "You know, when in Rome and all that." 

"If you want to run bare-assed down to the lake, you just feel free to do so, but count me out." 

"Well, whatever you decide to do, after your sauna, you can dress and have lunch by the lake. I've had the kitchen prepare you a picnic as you asked, Mr. President." 

"OK then, we're off." Jed grabbed the picnic basket with one hand and Abbey's hand with the other. She grabbed the cooler and they were off. 

"Hey, Romeo," Abbey said pulling back on the hand that Jed was tugging. He was yanking her down the trail with boyish enthusiasm. "Not so fast." 

"This is going to be fun, come on." 

"I know exactly what's going through that devious little mind of yours. You think that once you have me naked in that sauna I'll give in and go skinny dipping with you." 

"Abigail, you wound me. How could you believe that I would have ulterior motives? You heard Arajarvi; this is all done for the health benefits. I'm only thinking about your health, sweetheart." 

"My health," Abbey laughed sarcastically. "That's rich, Jed, really rich. Got any swampland in Florida you want to sell me along with those health benefits?" 

* * * * 

It hadn't taken Abbey long to find out what she had known all along. Her husband truly did have ulterior motives when it came to that sauna. As soon as their clothes had come off and they had entered the small, humid room, he had insisted upon making love to her as the more that they sweated the more they would release those unhealthy toxins. After all, they were here for the health benefits, weren't they? OK, she hadn't been hard to persuade when it came to that part of his argument, but now she was naked and laying back languidly on the aspen wood bench drenched in sweat. Jed lay next to her his breathing still erratic from their healthy workout. Abbey watched the sweat trickle down his masculine chest and drew a finger through his chest hair to release the droplets. The salty taste of him was still erotic on her tongue and despite being completely satiated, she still felt a tingling awareness deep inside where Jed had just been – a primal response to his maleness and the reaction of his body. 

"You're hot, baby, admit it." He pushed her sweat-dampened curls back off her face. 

"I'm fine, Jed. Very comfortable." But she wasn't. She was hot and sticky and sweaty and the idea of plunging into that cold lake was looking better and better. She took a sip from the beer bottle that lay beside her, hoping it might give her a little relief from the heat. 

"No, you're not. You're really, really hot, and right outside that door is relief." He trailed a finger down over her flat belly to follow where the sweat trickled down over her hipbones and into the soft nest of curls he would never tire of exploring. "Just think how refreshing it would be to slide your body into that icy cold water. Think of how clean and rejuvenated you would be." 

It took every bit of Abbey's willpower not to run out that door and down to the lake. The only thing keeping her on the bench were the looks that she had received after her little encounter with Jed on the deck of the boat last summer and knowing how the gossip traveled. She had discovered the hard way that the SECRET Service was not nearly as secret as she had thought it would be. 

"Well, I can't stand it anymore. I'm not as selective about who I'll flash in front of as you. I'm taking the plunge." He turned reluctantly to leave without her. Good lord, that woman could be stubborn. 

Abbey stood in the doorway of the sauna and grinned as she watched her husband run bare-assed down the fifty yards of beach to the lake, then bellow with shock as he threw himself off the end of the dock into the frigid water. God, how she longed to join him. She turned from the door and that's when she saw it – the small towel that Jed had placed under her hips to soften the hard bench when he had made love to her. It wouldn't cover much, but it would hide the strategic stuff. She placed the towel across the front of her body. 

Jed was just starting to walk out of the lake when he saw his wife come streaking down the beach with a small towel that barely covered her from breast to hips held tightly against her chest. He laughed as he watched the towel sail back on the dock at the last second, and he got a glorious flash of her nude body in the sunlight before she plunged off the end of the dock. She immediately surfaced with a high pitched shriek. This water was as cold at the North Atlantic in May. She stood, pushing the hair back from her face her nipples puckered and distended from the icy water, her teeth chattering. 

"I think standing up kind of defeated the purpose of the towel." He was grinning broadly at her and Abbey glanced down to see that she was exposed from the hips up. The shock of the water had startled her so much she had become disoriented. She immediately slipped back under the water up to her and neck began to curse like a sailor. 

"Jed, get my towel," she demanded "QUICKLY!" 

"Well, I don't know Abbey. I had to run down here completely naked. I think the least that you could do…" 

"Josiah Bartlet, you get me that fucking towel right this INSTANT or, as God is my witness, this is the LAST day that you will have sex with me until the election." 

Jed couldn't take the off chance that she might be serious. He was not a Nobel Laureate for nothing. He raced over toward the dock and hand delivered the towel. 

* * * * 

Cleaned and refreshed and back in jeans and sweatshirts, Abbey with her wet hair pulled back into a ponytail, the two sat on the edge of Lake Haapavesi and dined on the delicacies that had been packed for them. Both had to agree that the shock of sweaty heat to frigid cold had rejuvenated them and relaxed them in ways neither had thought possible. 

"This has been wonderful, Jed. Thank you for last night and today." 

"You're very welcome." He opened his mouth to accept the smoked salmon pastie Abbey was offering him. "I bet the press corps is going nuts right about now." 

"They don't know we're here?" 

"No, I told you. I wanted us to have privacy. Hell, if the press corps knew where we were, this lake would be littered with boats." 

Abbey gazed out over the pristine blue water, thankful to see nary a boat in sight. 

"I didn't even tell the staff. I just whisked you off to the yacht instead of going to the motorcade. I didn't want them to try to convince me of the folly of 'disappearing' for twenty-four hours or the photo ops of you and I relaxing by the lake that we were missing out on. I just wanted some time for US. Ron knows where I am, in case of an emergency." 

Abbey smiled tenderly and kissed him lightly on the lips just a little sadly. She knew what he had left unsaid. In the past, he would have at least been able to tell Leo of his plans. That he hadn't been able to showed just how great the rift was between the former best friends. "I hate to bring this up, but I think that we should talk about it before we get on Air Force One tonight." 

"Leo," he sighed, knowing right away what she would want to talk about. 

"Yes, Leo. You have to make a decision about what you're going to do about him. Watching the two of you on this trip has been awful. You're treating him like _persona non grata_." 

"As far as I'm concerned, he IS _persona non grata_." 

"That's fine for your friendship, if that's the way that you want it to be, but you can't continue to work that way together. If you can't get passed this, then I think that you need to find a new Chief of Staff." 

"Do you think that I should find a new Chief of Staff?" 

"No, I think that you need to work through this. I don't think that you will be happy until you can resolve things with Leo. But, I also know that you need a Chief of Staff that you can work with and trust, and if that means letting Leo go, then you do what you have to do. I want what is best for you, Jed." 

"I don't even know what is best for me." 

"Care for a little free advice from someone who knows you inside and out?" 

"Since when do you ask?" 

"Since I'm skating on thin ice here. I know that I'm part of this whole blow up between you and Leo. I know that I should have told you what he did to me right when he did it, but I honestly can't say that I'm SORRY that I didn't. If I had told you then, it would have been the end of your friendship with Leo. Look at where we're sitting Jed. You are the most powerful man in the world. I got drunk with the President of Russia, and we spent last night as guests of honor in a castle in Finland. None of this would be possible if it hadn't been for Leo making you believe that it WAS possible." 

"I've forgiven you for your part in this, Abbey," he scowled, knowing that she was right. 

"And I think that you need to somehow find it in your heart to forgive Leo. When I watch you with him, it's like watching a person that I don't really know. The Jed that I know believes in love and redemption and forgiveness." She pushed a lock of hair back off his forehead. 

"I think I might have had a chance at forgiving him if it had just been that one incident – if he weren't still in love with you. I just can't get past that." 

"And maybe you won't. I can't tell you how to feel, Jed. But just hear me out, please. Leo loves you. Yes, he made a mistake. He shouldn't have done what he did to me; he shouldn't have said those things that he said to me. He KNOWS that, Jed. As for what he feels for me, I don't really understand it myself since I haven't spoken with him. But all I know is that there have been PLENTY of opportunities for him to make another pass at me. How many times have I danced with him since that night? How many times has he slept at our home and been alone with me when I wore nothing but a bathrobe? It happened just a couple weeks ago when I bumped into him in the hall at night on my way to comfort Aislinn. The point is that he has never made ANY kind of advance on me like that since that night at the fundraiser." 

"That doesn't mean that he won't. Dammit, he admitted to me that if you had responded to him he would have fucked you." 

"Jed, it's been twelve years. If he was going to make another pass at me, he would have done it by now. He KNOWS how I feel. He knows that I don't think of him that way. He knows how much I love you and he knows that I'd slap him again if he touched me. What would be the point of trying? Not to mention that, as much as you don't believe this, he would never do that to you. Not again. He really does love you. When we told him about the M.S., did he castigate us or turn on us for deceiving him? No, he supported us and kept his mouth shut when doing so could have cost him everything. Then, that night that you got shot." 

"Rosslyn," Jed growled, thinking about how he had accused Leo of hoping he'd die so he could put the moves on his Abbey, the grieving widow. 

"Yes, Rosslyn." She tilted his chin to look into his eyes. "I know what you said to Leo, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. He was devastated, Jed, and scared, but I don't know how I could have made it through that night without him. I was pregnant, you were dying, and I've never been so scared in my life. I really believed that I was going to lose you; but every time that I broke down and lost hope, Leo was right there assuring me that you were a fighter, that you had beaten worse odds, that you were going to make it. I needed his optimism that night, Jed, without it, I don't know what might have happened to me." Her hand moved unconsciously to cover her belly and Jed knew what she was leaving unsaid. If she had lost control, become too completely emotionally overwrought, she could very well have lost their babies. It was a scary, humbling thought and his hand moved to cover hers. 

"Well, maybe I was off base with that one," he admitted. "But I trusted him to take care of you and the girls, and my unborn children. I TRUSTED him, Abbey, and as sure as I am sitting here holding your hand, I am sure that if I had died, it wouldn't have been long before he was trying to become your second husband." 

"Let's be thankful that we never had to cross that path." A shiver ran up Abbey's spine and she crossed herself to ward off the thoughts of death. "Now, back to what I was saying. When the shit hit the fan and the M.S. became public knowledge, who was the ONE person who always went to bat for us? Who tried to defuse the senior staff's anger? Who defended what we had done at every turn? That's right, it was Leo. He didn't do it because he thought what we did was right or justified, he did it because he loves us. He could have sold you out, Jed. He could have saved his skin and sold you out. They offered him that deal; they threatened to ruin his reputation and his career if he didn't deliver you to them. He told them to go to hell." Tears filled Abbey's eyes now. "He risked losing everything because he is supposed to take a bullet for you not the other way around and I don't doubt that he would." 

"So you really do think that I should keep him on?" 

"I really think that you will regret it if you don't keep him on. Like I said, I can't tell you how to feel and I'll back you whatever your decision is. I just hope that you talk to Leo and listen to him with an open heart and an open mind." 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For supporting me and listening to me and not trying to pressure me like everyone else. Most of all for letting me make my own decision." 

"I trust you. Now don't screw it up." 


	19. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Deep into the night, as Air Force One flew over the dark expanse of the Atlantic Ocean, Leo made his way toward the Presidential suite. He knew what was coming, knew what he had to do, but that didn't make it any easier. Back when Charlie had been in training, he remembered hearing Jed tell the young man that there were only two people allowed unlimited access to him and those two people were his wife and his Chief of Staff. Things had certainly changed on that front. Jed had all but ignored him on this trip. Oh, during the summit meetings he had been professional, had consulted with him; however, it was as if he were working with a stranger. When the meetings were over, it was the other senior staff members that he hashed things out with, the other senior staff members he joked around with. Hell, he still didn't even know where Abbey and Jed had snuck off to after leaving the opera. No matter how much this job meant to him, he knew deep down inside that he couldn't be Jed's Chief of Staff without that unlimited access or without that trust. He remembered overhearing Jed before his second State of the Union telling Roger Tribby that he needed to make his best friend, the man he would trust his life with, his Chief of Staff. Every President needed that one man he could rely on to tell him when he was wrong, or being an ass, or even just to look out for his best interests. JFK had had Bobby, and Jed had had him. 'Had' being the operative word. They HAD been as close as two brothers, but Jed had made it very clear that he no longer felt that way. Leo could tell that Jed could barely stomach the sight of him anymore and that was not good for the country or for Jed. He needed to find that right hand man again. Taking a deep breath, he knocked lightly on the door of the suite. 

Thinking it was the nachos he had ordered, Jed called out for the steward to come in. 

Leo entered the room. Abbey and Jed were relaxing back on the couch together, their jean clad legs propped up on the coffee table. They were watching a videotape of a Red Sox game that had been played while they had been at the summit. Just about to take a pull from his bottle of beer, Jed's hand paused mid-air when he saw Leo. 

"Leo?" It was Abbey who breathed his name out with surprise. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'd like to speak with the President before we land." 

"It's late, Leo," Jed scowled. "Can't it wait?" 

"No, sir, this is important." 

"Talk to him, Jed," Abbey hissed into his ear. She slapped his thigh lightly and got to her feet padding over to the edge of the couch to slide on her discarded loafers. 

"Where the hell are you going?" Jed asked. 

"I'm going to see if CJ wants to play a game of cribbage. You two need to work this out on your own. You know where to find me if you need me." She leaned down ostensibly to kiss Jed's cheek, but she also whispered sternly into his ear, "No more hitting." 

Jed gave her a dark look, but Abbey merely turned to grab the cribbage board and deck of cards. "Good luck," she mouthed as she walked past Leo on her way to the door, then thought to herself, you're gonna need it. 

There was a long silence in the room after Abbey's departure with neither man knowing quite what to say. Finally, Jed turned the volume to the TV down and turned to Leo. 

"It appears that my wife would like you and I to duke this out once in for all." 

"Let's not use the word 'duke'." Leo's fingers moved to his eye where the blackness had faded into a yellowing bruise with purple streaks. Jed's handiwork from their previous talk about Abbey was a not so pretty reminder of how volatile the situation could get between the two of them. 

"I'm not going to apologize for that," Jed told him coldly. 

"Didn't expect you to." 

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea, but Abbey seems to think that it needs to be done sooner rather than later." 

"She's a tough cookie." Leo smiled fondly. 

A smile of acknowledgment crossed Jed's lips briefly. 'Tough cookie' was a good word to describe his wife. Abbey had always been one to meet problems head on and directly while he tended to push things into the background hoping to avoid a confrontation. It wasn't a difference in temperament; it was a difference in how they had been raised. Abbey had been raised in a loving environment where her opinions were weighed and valued, where she was encouraged to speak her mind as long as it was done in a polite and rational manner. He, on the other hand, had been raised to believe that the only valid opinion was that of his father. John Bartlet's word had been law and it didn't take Jed long to learn what happened in his house when you questioned his father's opinions, beliefs, or his rules. He had spent his life trying to avoid those confrontations, but in the end they had become unavoidable because there was something in his make up that made him believe that if he could just explain things properly he could make his father see the light. He hadn't realized that he would never be able to make John Bartlet see things his way until he met Abbey. It was Abbey who convinced him that he would never be able to change his father and that if he wanted any type of relationship with him he was just going to have to accept him the way that he was. Not that SHE hadn't given it a try a time or two. It still made him smile to think of his little spitfire of a wife going toe to toe with the stern, uncompromising John Bartlet. From the beginning, his father had not known what to make of Abbey. He hadn't known how to deal with the pretty, strong-minded redhead his son later married. Jed remembered the night that Abbey found out just what kind of man his father was as if it happened only yesterday. They had been dating for about ten months and she was visiting him over Christmas break when she had witnessed a confrontation between him and John. It had been nothing compared to what he had gone through when he was younger; the physical abuse had tapered off as he had gotten old enough to fight back, but it was enough to arouse suspicions she had already had. That night, while his parents were at a faculty party, he had sat in front of the fireplace with her and finally come clean about everything. Never in his life had he spoken of what had gone on between him and his father, even he and Jon didn't talk about it. But that night he had held nothing back with Abbey; and when he was finished, she had held him in his arms and wept. He had been dry-eyed; it was she who cried for him when he could not cry for himself. He had been stunned by her reaction. Nobody had ever cried for him and if he hadn't known it before, he knew it then – that he HAD to spend the rest of his life with this woman. Later, after Elizabeth was born, Abbey had stared his father down in a head to head confrontation letting him know that she knew of the abuse his son had suffered at his hands and the two of them were not going to allow that kind of emotional or physical violence to touch their new little family. He had known, in that moment, that Abbey would always be there for him, always be there fighting for him, covering his back, fighting his battles with him side by side, or on her own if need be. 

"Mr. President?" Leo shuffled uncomfortably. 

Jed snapped back to the present with a shake of his head. "I don't know where to go here, Leo. I've known you longer than I've known Abbey. You're a member of my family. I've talked to Abbey. I've prayed for guidance. I've wrestled with my feelings until I'm so twisted up inside I don't know which way is up." 

"You don't have to tell me, I know. I guess I've always known what your reaction would be which is why I never wanted you to find out. I've seen the way that you are when it comes to Abbey. I've watched you protect and defend her and I've seen you go after the people who have harmed her. I saw what you did to Marcus Hughes. I've watched you single mindedly destroy every campaign that Elliot Roush has been in, and I watched you accept a Congressional censure so that she wouldn't have to go before that panel and have her reputation torn to shreds." 

Jed nodded; he at least had that right. "She means everything to me, Leo. It's been that way ever since I met her at that frat party and I fell so fast and so hard for her that it was like getting knocked over by a freight train. I never knew what hit me. One day I was walking along minding my own business, thinking about becoming a priest, and the next day I bumped into her, stared into those beautiful eyes and all thoughts of a celibate lifestyle went right out the window. Seeing her again, being with her again suddenly took precedence over every thing. She was the first person who ever really loved me just for being me. My mother loved me because I was her child; to this day I don't really know how my father felt about me, and my grandparents loved me because I was a Bartlet grandchild. I was the future – the one they were handing the family name over to and they were expecting great things. Townie girls wanted to date me because I was a preppie, a Bartlet, a way to a better life. None of that mattered to Abbey. She was the first person to love Jed, not Josiah Bartlet. I could have grown up in a slum and been as poor as a church mouse and Abbey still would have loved me. She loved who I was. She shared my dreams, and, other than my love, she never asked for anything in return. That's been the basis of our relationship throughout all these years. She means everything to me, and that's why I react the way that I do to anyone hurting her or trying to take her from me." 

"I know. Believe me I've envied you that for as long as I can remember. My relationship with Jenny was so different." 

"Jenny loved you," Jed stated sharply. 

"I know she loved me but there is a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. Abbey's always been 'in love' with you. I remember back when we were campaigning hearing Abbey telling some reporter that the two of you were soulmates. I had always thought that word was a bunch of crap, that there was no such thing as a soulmate, but then I started thinking about it and I realized that you guys really are two people who were meant to be together. Hell, I don't know too many guys who mope around until all hours of the night simply because their wife is away on a trip. I don't know of too many couples who speak three to four times a day when they're apart. In fact, Jenny used to give me hell all the time about that. She was always telling me that you were the PRESIDENT and you were able to take the time to call Abbey every night before bed, what the hell was wrong with me? I don't know of too many guys who have been married for thirty years who still get little love notes sent with them in their suitcases when they go away on a trip. Do you remember that fact finding tour of El Salvador that we went on in the early 80's?" 

"Of course." 

"We were gone for two weeks. We got home just in time for Thanksgiving which Jenny and I planned to spend with you and Abbey in New Hampshire. Jenny picked us up at Logan airport." 

"And? What was so unusual about that?" 

"Nothing. That's what I'm saying. Jenny gave us each a peck on the cheek, we got our luggage and we drove north." 

"Are you going somewhere with this, Leo?" 

"Yes, I am. When we pulled up the driveway of the farm, Abbey was on the porch playing with Zoey. When she saw you get out of the car, she came rushing down the lawn and threw herself into your arms wrapping her legs around your waist and kissing you as if she thought she'd never see you again. Jed, you'd been married for over ten years at that point and you had three kids and you were still getting that kind of reception. Jenny never loved me the way that Abbey loves you." 

"Maybe you never gave her the chance. Maybe she sensed that you never loved her the way that I love Abbey." 

"Or maybe she was too hung up on turning me into you –" Leo's hand slapped over his mouth as if to stop the rest of the words from coming forth. 

"Turning you into me? What the hell are you talking about?" 

"It's not important. I shouldn't have…" 

"Leo, I think there have been enough lies and enough secrets. What exactly did you mean by that?" 

"I mean that my marriage was a sham pretty much from the start. Jenny was in love with YOU. She wanted YOU but she settled for me." 

"You don't know what you're talking about. Jenny was my friend. She was my best friend at Notre Dame until Abbey came along. Don't project the way that you feel on to Jenny." 

"Yes, she was your best friend at school and she was pining away for you. As long as you were thinking about becoming a priest, she was content with being your friend; but, that isn't to say that she didn't dream of the day that you would tell her that you were giving up any idea of becoming a priest because you were falling in love with her." 

Jed stared at him stunned. "It wasn't that way, Leo. I never felt like that about Jenny." 

"I know, and you damn near broke her heart when you came to her all breathless and excited to tell her that you had met the most incredible woman and, as amazing as it must sound, you knew that you were falling in love with her. You knew that meeting her was a sign from God telling you that the priesthood was not your chosen path. Those were the words Jenny had been waiting for you to say about HER, and instead it was some girl named Abigail O'Neill that you had fallen head over heels for." 

"You knew all that and you still married her?" 

"I didn't find out until after we got married, which was something that we did that much too fast. We never really had the chance to get to know each other. I was off to 'Nam and all her friends were getting married, so we just did it. When I got back we realized that we both had different ideas about marriage. She wanted to move to the suburbs and start having babies, I wanted to live in the city and start making money. Since I was your best friend, she expected me to be more like you, at least that's what she said. I think secretly, deep inside; she wanted me to BE you. By the time you got elected to Congress, our marriage was a mess – we were basically co-habitating." 

Jed remembered that very well. He had been so lonely during the week without Abbey that Jenny had taken pity on him and had him over to supper at least once a week. He could sense the tension between the couple, and while they didn't argue or fight, they also didn't have much to say to each other. Supper had not been anything like the chatty free for all that went on between him, Abbey and the girls back home. Suppers at the McGarrys had been a quiet affair, the conversation usually between him and Jenny or him and Leo, rarely between Jenny and Leo. Mallory was fighting her own secret battles with her father's alcoholism and despite Jed's best efforts; she was quiet and withdrawn at the table. 

"I was drinking like a fish," Leo continued. "And you were right there to pick up the pieces." 

"Saint Jed," he said coolly. "I remember that quite well. I never understood why you were so bitter towards me." 

"Because you were so goddamn perfect!" Leo spat out. "Here I was either working sixteen hours a day or coming home falling down drunk and there you were calling Abbey from the house to tell her how much you missed her. There you were getting all teared up as you talked to your girls about their schoolwork and the sports they were involved in and there you were rushing home every weekend to be with your family. I couldn't compete with that. I never could." 

"It was never a competition. I wasn't perfect, Leo, but I did the best that I could." 

"It was never a competition for you because you never had to compete. You already had a beautiful, sexy, loving wife and a great marriage and you also had MY wife thinking that you were God's gift to husbandom. I knew she envied Abbey but I just didn't have it in me to be the husband and father that she wanted me to be. My work was my life and my family always came second. I'm certainly not proud of that but it's just the way that it was." 

"Is that what this was all about – a competition? You wanted to see if you could get Abbey into bed because your wife was in love with me?" 

"No. Well, maybe it was in a way. You sure you want to hear this." 

"I'm listening, aren't I?" 

"Well, don't hit me again." 

"I'm not making any promises." 

"As you know I'd been drinking. I'd pretty much bottomed out. I knew that my life was a disaster. I'd even thought about doing everyone a favor and killing myself. Then, suddenly Abbey was standing there. I don't know what happened. I saw her there and she was so beautiful and I'd wanted to know for so long what it would be like to touch her. I was sinking fast and I think a part of me thought that if I could just cling to her, she could keep me from falling. She was so worried about me and I took advantage of that. The next thing I knew I was kissing her. I swear to you, Jed, I never meant for it to happen. I never meant to betray our friendship and I certainly never meant to scare her." 

Leo chanced a glance at Jed who was pacing back and forth across the room, probably to keep from exploding with anger, he thought. His face was flushed red with bottled up emotion but so far he had kept himself under control. 

"I've never been more ashamed of myself in my life. Until the day I die, I will never forget the look of hurt, betrayal and fury on Abbey's face. I'm sorry, Jed. I can apologize until I am blue in the face but that isn't going to change what I did or how you feel about that. I can only say that it never happened again and it never will happen again. On the other hand, I can't apologize for how I feel about Abbey." 

Jed's gaze snapped with surprise over to Leo. He hadn't expected that. "You're not sorry that you want to screw my wife?" 

"More than you will ever know. But I can't apologize for it because I can't help how I feel. I've tried to stop feeling this way. I've tried to stay away. I've tried going to confession. I've talked to Stanley. I've tried everything that I can think of, but ever since Jenny divorced me, the feelings have been even stronger. Stanley thinks that my envy of your relationship has a lot to do with my loneliness since the divorce. He thinks that I am projecting a lot of 'what ifs' into my feelings for Abbey. I mean, logically I KNOW that Abbey is not the perfect woman for me. I know that despite how much I idealize what it would be like with her, I could never be married to her or a woman like her. I've said this before – Abbey is a high maintenance wife. She would expect much more out of me than a low maintenance wife like Jenny ever did and I just don't have it to give. I guess I've always wanted to believe that I would be a better husband and father if I had a woman like Abbey who loved me. I've probably projected those feelings on to Abbey because it was easier than facing the truth, which is that I was a big failure in that department. The truth of the matter is, Jed, that I would give my right arm to have a woman love me the way that Abbey loves you. You're a very lucky man." 

"I count my blessings everyday." Jed's anger had abated and had been replaced very quickly with pity. He felt for Leo's pain and wondered just how awful it must be to have such strong feelings for someone for so long and to know that those feelings were not returned. 

"But you can't forgive me." 

"I just don't know, Leo." 

"How is what I feel for Abbey any different from any of the men on our staff commenting on her sexiness, or John Marbury rhapsodizing about her breasts, or Senator Smithers telling the press that the First Lady has world class legs?" 

"Words, Leo, those are just words. Senator Smithers didn't lift up my wife's skirt to try to see those legs. John didn't grab those breasts he was admiring so freely…" Jed didn't miss the skeptical look Leo flashed his way. "OK, OK, so he might have if Abbey hadn't diffused the situation, but that's just John – he's like that with ALL women. And the male members of my staff may find my wife attractive but they DON'T fantasize about her, and as far as I know, none of them has ever urged her to betray me with them. But do you know what the worst part is?" 

"What?" 

"None of them was my best friend," he said sadly. "None of them is the man I would have trusted my life with." 

"You still can," Leo stated fervently. 

"I'd like to believe that, Leo. I really would." 

* * * * 

"How do you expect me to get into Danny's day planner?" CJ asked. 

"You said he doesn't keep it on the computer; he has an actual book." 

"Yes?" CJ asked expectantly. 

"Well, when you bring him over for the interview, tell him that I'm ready to set up a date and time for the Convention interview. That way he'll bring the book. Then, while we're doing the interview, you come in and attract his attention and I'll look through the book to find out when he's meeting to return the photo." 

"And just how do you expect me to divert his attention?" 

"Use your feminine wiles." 

"My feminine WILES," CJ's eyes widened. "That sounds more like it would be up your alley. Maybe YOU better divert his attention." 

"I'm not the one that he's got a thing for – you are." 

"I don't know this is all a little too…Jessica Fletcher –" 

"James Bond?" Abbey suggested at the same time that CJ made her observation and they both laughed. "I don't know about you, CJ, but I think I'd rather think of myself as a Bond girl than Jessica Fletcher." 

"That's cause you look like a Bond girl," CJ grumbled. 

"Come on, CJ, this will be fun." 

"I don't know how I let you talk me into this." CJ turned to leave. 

"CJ," Abbey called out. "Don't wear a bra, that drives guys nuts." 

CJ cast a long look at the First Lady but couldn't help the smile that crossed her face at Abbey's girlish excitement over their plan. "Yes, ma'am." 

* * * * 

Abbey had just finished giving Danny her impressions of Finland and the summit and CJ was nowhere to be seen. Abbey hoped that she hadn't chickened out. 

"OK, so now that we're done with this, you want to tell me where you and the President disappeared to the last night you were there." A mischievous smile crossed his face. 

"Disappear? We didn't disappear," Abbey said innocently. "We were with the President of Finland and her husband the whole time." 

"That's not what I heard. Rumor has it that you and the President were missing from the time you left the castle until you boarded Air Force One. Anything the American people need to know?" His grin was wider now. Abbey couldn't help but smile back. God, did she like Danny Concannon. Now if she could just get him and CJ to hook up, her mission would be completed. 

"Just that their President is coming home refreshed and invigorated." The little wink at the end told Danny all that he needed to know. 

When CJ entered the room, Danny and the First Lady were laughing companionably together. 

"Oh, Danny…good…you're still here." Abbey could see that CJ was flustered and she also noted that she had taken a page from the Abbey Bartlet book of fashion and had unbuttoned her blouse to reveal a little more bust than she normally did. 

"What can I do for you, CJ?" Danny asked. 

"Uh, I have the President's itinerary for the next three days." 

When she didn't move forward to hand it to him, he gave Abbey a puzzled look and got to his feet to approach her in the doorway. 

"CJ, are you all right?" he frowned. 

CJ glanced over his shoulder to see Abbey frantically searching through his little black day planner, urging her with her free hand to continue to keep him occupied. 

"I'm fine." She placed a hip against the door and looked up at him from under her lashes in what she hoped was a sexy look. She felt awkward and foolish and she knew that flirtatious Abbey would be much better at doing this than she was. 

Danny glanced from the piece of paper back up to CJ wondering why she was acting so weird. 

"OK, well thanks." He turned to go back to Abbey and CJ panicked. She grabbed his arm harder than she meant to." 

"CJ?" 

"Uh, did you see where we're going on Tuesday? Clarksville Ironworks." She arched her back thrusting her breasts forward. 

Danny lost all interest in the itinerary. He leaned forward and whispered softly, "You're not wearing a bra, are you?" 

Abbey was right on the money with that one, CJ thought. Danny's attention was now fully on her. "Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Depends on my mood." 

Danny gave her an odd look. He'd never seen CJ braless before. 

Over Danny's back CJ saw Abbey giving her a big grin and a thumbs up. "Well, I guess you don't really care about Clarksville Ironworks. You have to go with us anyway." She turned abruptly and left the room. 

Danny shook his head at a complete loss as to what just had gone on. He turned to face Abbey with suspicion but she gave him a lovely, innocent smile and a shrug to say she didn't know why CJ was acting so strangely. 

"Are we finished?" she asked sweetly. 

"Yeah, uh, I guess so." Danny watched her departing form unable to shake the feeling that somehow he had just been had. 

* * * * 

"Clarksville Ironworks!" Abbey exclaimed when they were back in the privacy of CJ's small office. 

"I'm sorry. He started to turn around and I panicked. I didn't know what to say. I told you I wasn't made out to be a James Bond girl." 

"You did fine. It was not wearing the bra that got his attention, wasn't it?" 

"It certainly helped," CJ agreed. 

"I knew it. Men are such suckers for a little boob." 

"No pun intended?" CJ lifted an eyebrow. 

Abbey laughed at the unintended sexual innuendo. "Freudian slip, I guess. Well, the important thing is that I got the date, the time and the place. Have you ever heard of a place called 'Shenanigans'?" 

"Yeah, it's a nightclub in Georgetown." 

"Well, that's where the exchange will take place. Next Thursday." 

"So, now what?" 

"So now we have to come up with a plan to sneak me out of the White House without the Service so that we can find out who it is." 

"Why did I have the feeling that you were going to say that?" CJ sighed. 

Abbey ignored her friend's trepidation and continued on, "I've already come up with some ideas." 

CJ looked at the dangerous gleam of excitement in Abbey's eyes. "Lucy, I have the sneaking suspicion that we are going to have a lot of 'splainin' to do about this one." 

"Oh, Ethel, don't be such a worrywart. If we do this right, nobody except the ass responsible for this mess will ever know what we did." 

"Yeah, that's what Lucy always said." 

"And?" 

"And it always came back to bite her on the butt." 


	20. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Jed lay on his side his head propped up on his hand. He was curled up around Abbey's back. The two of them were both fully clothed and supposedly taking a nap under the quilt, but while Abbey slept, he had only been able to toss and turn. His earlier conversation with Leo was rolling over and over in his head. Somewhere in that conversation his anger had turned to pity. He had never realized just how many regrets that Leo had or just how lonely that he now was. 

He reached a finger out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Abbey's ear and smiled gently down at her, simply enjoying having the time to watch her sleep and to listen to her soft even breathing. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to be completely alone the way that Leo now was. He couldn't imagine how barren his life would be without Abbey. No nylons hanging over the shower rod or lacy lingerie soaking in Woolite in the sink. No bubble bath, bath oils, body lotions, or feminine hygiene products cluttering up the medicine cabinet. No hair clips, hot rollers, blow dryers or five different styles of brushes strewn out over the sink. No flowery scented soaps, shampoos and shower gels in the bathtub. No waxing strips and girly pink bottles of shaving cream next to his own more masculine one. No orchard blossom Lady's Speed Stick next to his Old Spice. No soft womanly hip shoving him out of the way while he shaved so that she could brush her teeth. 

He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a really horrendous day and not have Abbey to come home to. Not to have anyone there to welcome him with a smile, a shoulder to lean on or even a soothing neck massage. Not to have anyone to hold his hand and share his popcorn with on movie night. Not to have anyone to argue with and tease and make love to until all the stress of the day was a mere memory. Not to be able to watch her sitting at her vanity table wearing only a thin silk slip while she brushed her hair or to smell her perfume on her pillow. How awful it would be not to be able to feel Abbey curled up in his arms the way that she was now and to know that no matter what happened out "there" they would always have this – always have each other. He knew there were some men who couldn't stand the idea of being tied down, but he had always loved being married and sharing his life with a woman as intelligent, passionate, and unpredictable as Abbey. He couldn't imagine the sheer loneliness that Leo had to feel going home every night to an empty apartment. Since the divorce, he and Abbey had tried to make sure that Leo was not alone on the holidays, but Jed began to wonder if maybe they had actually done him a disservice by doing that. He had to wonder if seeing him and Abbey and their family all together had just made his own life seem all the more lonely and empty. 

The ringing of the telephone interrupted Jed's train of thoughts. 

"Yes?" 

"Hello, Mr. President. You wanted to be called a half hour before arrival to Andrews." 

"Yes, thank you." Jed hung up and felt Abbey begin to stir and stretch in his rms. 

"Are we home?" she murmured sleepily. 

"In a half hour." He smiled and began tracing imaginary lines to connect the pale freckles on her nose. His smile was mirrored by Abbey's and he saw the glimmer of excitement alight in her eyes. He knew she was thinking about the joy of seeing Nicholas and Aislinn again. They had both missed the kids terribly. 

"I've made a decision about Leo," he stated simply. 

Abbey stopped adjusting her blouse and stared at him. "And?" She breathed nervously. 

"And I'm not going to accept his resignation." 

Abbey felt the tears pool in her eyes and she reached out a hand to take his. She, more than anyone, knew what a difficult decision that this was for him and how much it had cost him to get to this point. "Good for you, babe." She squeezed the hand that she held. "I know how hard this is for you. What made you change your mind?" 

"Listening to Leo tonight. I mean really listening for the first time and realizing that I need to start practicing what I preach. I'm always talking about forgiveness and giving people a second chance, and, yet, I refused to do that for Leo. I'll never be able to forget that he made a horrible mistake with you, but I am going to try to forgive him. As far as what he still feels for you, I don't know if things will ever be the same between us. I feel like I was going along paddling through clear waters and then I found this out about Leo and since then my paddles have been stuck in the heavy, murky depths of a stinking swamp. I still don't know how to deal with that, but I'm willing to give it a try. I do trust that no matter what he feels for you, he won't act on those feelings again." 

"I can pretty much guarantee that. I know how much he regrets what he did. He regretted it almost as soon as he did it." 

"We're so lucky to have each other, Abbey, and he's so lonely. I think if we can find him a woman he'll stop fixating on you." 

"Well, what do you think that I've been doing for the past three years, loverboy? I haven't had much luck, but then again, I'm a damn hard act to follow, so we better get to work." Abbey was straight-faced, but her eyes were dancing with humor as Jed's gaze met hers and they both burst into laughter. With that deep, hearty, wonderful laugh of her husband's, Abbey knew that everything was well on the way to being OK. If Jed was able to start laughing about the situation then he was at least halfway there. 

* * * * 

Jed almost couldn't contain his enthusiasm at seeing how Abbey was going to react to his little surprise. She was pacing impatiently as they waited for the OK to disembark from the plane. Her eagerness to get off the flight and to get home and see the kids was apparent to all who watched her anxiously picking imaginary lint off the stuffed animals she held in her arms and tapping her fingernails with frustration against the wall. Finally, the call came through and the door opened. Jed grinned as he had to hold her back like an overeager filly taking off from the starting gate. He was barely able to keep her with him while they gave their obligatory waves. 

It was all Abbey could do to allow Jed to go down those steps before her. Protocol stated that she walk behind the President, but right now she wanted to urge him to go faster or simply plow right over him. She couldn't wait to get home and see the children. She secretly feared that they may not have missed her at all, that they may have bonded so closely with their nanny that seeing their mother again would not be all that important to them. As she reached the bottom of the steps and began to head toward the motorcade, Jed grasped her elbow. 

"I think there are some people here to see you," he said. 

"Jed, I don't want to stay here all day chitchatting," she said with very real irritation. "I want to get home and see…" As she spoke, she saw Izzy step out from behind one of the cars with Aislinn on one hand, Nicholas on the other. 

As soon as they saw their parents, the toddlers began to run forward along the red carpet shouting greetings of "MAMA!!!! DADDA!!!!" 

Abbey sunk to her knees on the carpet and opened her arms out wide to the toddling twosome who catapulted themselves against her chest. 

"Ashy, Nicky," she cried, holding them tightly to her breasts and kissing the tops of their silky little heads. "I missed you guys SO much…Mama missed you so much." She couldn't seem to stop kissing their beautiful little faces or inhaling their sweet baby scent. 

A feeling of warmth spread through Jed's chest as he held back, smiling broadly, watching Abbey's joyful reunion with the twins, but it didn't take him long for him to need a piece of the action. "Hey, rugrats, your dear old dad missed you guys, too. Come give me a hug before your mother smothers you." Jed got down on one knee, and clutching the stuffed animal that he had taken from Abbey, Nicholas toddled to his father and allowed himself to be pulled in for a big bear hug. "God, I missed you, slugger. I think you've grown three inches in one week." Jed's voice was muffled in Nicholas' hair. 

"Now who's doing the smothering?" Abbey asked as she got to her feet and slid Aislinn over on to her hip with the ease of a woman who had had a child on her hip since she was twenty-one years old. 

Jed just flashed her a happy grin and pulled Nicholas up into his arms so he could approach his wife and daughter. "What about you, funny face, you got a kiss for Daddy?" 

Aislinn leaned forward in Abbey's arms with her lips tightly pursed to give her father a kiss. Jed rubbed his rough shaven jaw against her soft cheek causing Aislinn to giggle. 

"Look at how long her hair has grown since we've been gone." Abbey pulled out a soft curl and let it spring back into place. 

"With the way that they're carrying on you'd think they'd been gone for a month, not a week," Josh said under his breath to the other senior staffers. 

"Oh hush, Josh," CJ admonished him. "They really missed their kids and I happen to think that they are just too cute for words." 

"The President and the First Lady? Or the kids?" 

"All of them." 

"Did you know they would be here?" Abbey asked as they began to walk toward the motorcade each with a child cuddling in their arms. 

"Who do you think asked Izzy to meet us here? I knew that you'd want to see them as soon as we put down on American soil." 

"First the romantic getaway, now this. What gives, Jed? I don't remember putting you in the doghouse." 

"Can't a husband do something nice for his wife without ulterior motives?" 

"He could, but he usually doesn't. Look, you've always been a thoughtful husband, but lately it's been one thing after another. Am I missing something?" 

"A medical license," he said quietly. "I don't think I'll ever be able to make that up to you." 

"Jed –" 

"Mama," Nicholas interrupted and threw his stuffed animal at her arm. He had obviously had enough of being ignored by his mother while she held his sister and talked to his father. He began to squirm in his father's arms. 

"Some things never change," Abbey sighed as she leaned over to exchange kids with Jed. She held her son back from her body and looked deeply into his cerulean eyes. "Nicholas Josiah Bartlet, whatever am I going to do with you?" 

Nicholas grinned at her broadly and threw his little arms around her neck so he could tuck his head up under her chin to snuggle in close. "Mama," he said contentedly. Abbey's heart melted and she held him tight, stroking his back, feeling his knobby little spine through the thin rugby shirt that he wore. God, how she loved him. 

"I guess I didn't need to worry, did I" she whispered into his temple. "You really did miss your Mommy." 

* * * * 

Just a few mornings later, Jed awakened very early – before the kids could wake up Abbey. It was Mother's Day and they had spent the night in Maryland. He padded downstairs wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt with a sleepy toddler tucked under each arm. He had barely gotten diapers changed and sippie cups of milk passed out when Ellie and Zoey arrived to help with the big breakfast production. Jed had started the tradition of serving Abbey Mother's Day breakfast in bed way back when Elizabeth had only been three months old and to this day the tradition carried on, even if they were one short with Elizabeth living in New Hampshire. 

"OK, ladies." He looked at the girls and then down at Nicholas who was sitting on the floor trying to share his milk with Max, "...sorry, and gentleman… Let's get this show on the road. I'll start on the pancakes. Zoey, you start cutting up the melons; and Ellie, you start on the eggs. Oh, Ells, did you remember to bring your mother's favorite Cinnamon Crunch bagels?" 

"Yeah, Dad. They're in that bag over there." 

"OK, let's get started before she wakes up. I'm gonna need a couple little helpers to make the pancakes." He turned to the twins who were both sitting on the floor, still in their fleecy pajamas. "How would you two like to help me?" 

Both kids nodded and jumped to their feet. Jed started to pull one chair over to the counter then thought better about that and pulled another. He figured there might just be some pushing and shoving involved and he didn't want anyone getting hurt. He placed each child on its own chair and, standing between them, he began to make the pancakes. After pouring the blueberries into the batter, Nicholas lost interest in cooking and climbed down off his chair. Aislinn wasn't going anywhere, however, as the whole process intrigued her. Jed lifted her up to sit on the counter so she could watch him flip the pancakes and Ellie let her stir the Hollandaise sauce once it was off the burner and in a bowl. 

"So what do you think, sunshine? Is Daddy good or is Daddy good?" He showed off for his youngest daughter by flipping the last of the golden brown pancakes high in the air. 

"Dadda, good," she nodded, sucking the batter off her fingers. 

"Looking to a one year old for affirmation now, Dad?" Zoey teased. 

"I'll take it where I can get it." 

As Jed got to the last of the batter, he realized that he hadn't heard Nicholas in a while. He had been so focused on making the perfect blueberry pancakes that he'd lost track of him. He turned quickly, his heart leaping at the thought of the trouble that his son could have gotten into. It didn't take long for him to find out. 

"Nicholas, NO, drop that. That's YUCKY!" Jed swung Aislinn off the counter and lunged forward to stop his son from putting a couple more pieces of dry dog kibble into his mouth. He had been sitting contentedly sharing breakfast with Max. "This is Max's food," Jed explained, while sweeping Nicky's mouth with his index finger to rid the boy of any kibble remnants. "People don't eat doggy food. Doggies eat doggy food." 

"Goggy," Nicholas patted Max's rump. 

"Yes, Max is a doggy. Nicholas is not a doggy." 

"I don't think he's quite grasping what you're telling him," Ellie smiled with amusement as Nicholas continued to reach for the dog food bowl while her father was still cleaning out his mouth. 

"Here, Dad," Zoey handed him a piece of watermelon. "Maybe he'll like this better." 

Jed handed out the melon to both kids. "OK, everyone, let's go out and pick some flowers and then we'll go wake up your mother." 

"Did you remember the CD?" Ellie asked Zoey. 

"Yup, it's all ready to go." 

* * * * 

Abbey was sound asleep when the door to her bedroom burst open and music filled the room. She wiped at her sleepy eyes and blinked a couple times upon seeing her husband and four of her five children entering the room with trays of delicious smelling food. It took a minute for her to realize that her elder daughters were singing along with a catchy little tune she'd heard on the radio quite recently. 

> _She's a geologist, a romance novelist,_  
>  She is a mother of three.   
> She is a soldier; she is a wife,   
> She is a surgeon; she'll save your life.   
> She's, not, just a pretty face.   
> She's, got, everything in place.   
> She's, mother, of the human race,   
> She's, not, just a pretty face.

Jed placed Aislinn and Nicholas up on the bed with her, and Abbey was laughing as she watched them bouncing around to the music. 

"Happy Mother's Day!" They all shouted out when the song was finished. 

"Who ARE you crazy people?" Abbey asked. 

"We're the ones who put you through those long hours of childbirth that you like to guilt us with," Ellie said, stretching out on the bed next to her and snuggling close. 

"We're the ones who begged you for riding lessons, and ballet lessons, and piano lessons…" Zoey laid down and snuggled up close to Abbey's other side. 

"And who pestered you to let us get our ears pierced and wear make up and shave our legs and buy us a bra when we didn't need one." Ellie grinned up at her. 

"Oh, yes, now I seem to remember you." Abbey kissed the top of each of her daughter's heads. It was hard when they were like this not to remember what it had been like when they were little like Nicholas and Aislinn and wanted to snuggle up in bed with her and Jed all the time. In fact, not to be outdone by their big sisters, both Aislinn and Nicholas crawled up to lay on top of Abbey. 

"OK, break it up all of you, time to eat breakfast before it gets cold." Jed placed a bed tray that was adorned by a small vase of flowers over Abbey's hips 

"This smells divine but, my GOD, how much food did you cook?" 

"We did all your favorites. Ellie made the eggs benedict, Zoey cut up the melon salad and toasted the Cinnamon Crunch bagels and Aislinn, Nicholas and I made the blueberry pancakes with, of course, pure New Hampshire maple syrup." 

"Well, I suppose if I were a linebacker for the New England Patriots I might be able to eat all of this, but I'll give it my best shot. You guys are going to join me, aren't you?" 

"Well, we can't waste any of this good food when there are starving children in the world," Zoey teased, throwing out a line that both her parents had used all the time when they were growing up. 

"Jed, how did we ever raise such a smart…ass?" The last word was whispered so that little pitchers wouldn't pick up on it. 

"Well, with both of our genes, I guess she comes by it honestly." Jed began to load plates with extra food and they all sat Indian style over the bed to eat breakfast together. These were Jed's favorite times – when he had his family all together in one place and he could feel like everything he loved was in that one room. The only thing that was missing was not having Elizabeth and Annie with them. 

"Don't expect Nicholas to eat much, he already had breakfast with Max this morning," Jed told her. 

"What did they have?" Abbey looked puzzled. 

"Science Diet, Natural." 

"Oh no, he didn't." Abbey stifled a giggle. 

"Oh yes, he did. Our son enjoys his kibble." 

"Oh well, the girls all got into dog food at one time or another and they all turned out OK. Poor Maxy." She called the big dog over, "Did Nicholas get into your breakfast?" Max laid his head on the edge of the bed but it was too crowded with people for him to climb up. Abbey slipped a piece of egg on an English muffin and gave it to the dog. 

"We better get moving," Zoey said, sipping her fresh squeezed orange juice. "We have a big day planned." 

"And what, pray tell, are we doing?" Abbey asked. 

"After church we're going to pack a picnic lunch and go for hike in the Shenandoah National Park with Aunt Jenny and Mallory and Aunt Millie and Brynn. We haven't done a mother/daughter outing in a while and we all thought it was about time to do one again. Then we'll come home and have supper and all watch a Disney movie with the twins." 

Abbey smiled with pleasure. Mallory, Brynn and Ellie had all been born in the same year with Ellie being the youngest; and once they had gotten a little older, she, Millie and Jenny had planned mother/daughter outings once a year. Sometimes they were just shopping and theater trips to Boston, but other times they had taken them to the great museums of Europe, to art exhibits in New York City, a dude ranch in Wyoming and several hiking trips. Jenny had never particularly liked the hiking trips but she had always been a pretty good sport about them. 

Her gaze fell to the foot of the bed where Jed was taking off Aislinn's bib and paused there when confronted with the worried glint in his eye. She knew what that look was all about – Jed was concerned about her reaction to seeing Jenny again. He had, of course, told her everything in Leo's confession and she had been as shocked as he to learn that back when they were in college Jenny had been in love with Jed. He needn't have worried; she had no intention of dredging up the past. Nothing had ever come of Jenny's crush and the poor woman would probably be humiliated to know that Leo had spilled the beans about her feelings for Jed. 

* * * * 

In the end, Abbey didn't have to worry about how she would react to seeing Jenny. Mallory had shown up for their little outing without her mother. Jenny was at home with a horrible migraine and since she wanted to just be alone and sleep, she had urged Mallory to go along with everyone else and have a good time. 

Abbey couldn't help but wonder if Jenny really did have a migraine or if Leo had confessed to her that he had told Jed everything. She hoped her friend was not staying away out of embarrassment. She watched Mallory slide bottled water into her backpack with a feeling of aching tenderness. She'd always had a soft spot for the girl who had been born a mere seven months before Ellie. Growing up, Mallory had spent so much time with them at the farm and in Maine that it was almost like she had fourth daughter at times. She knew the storms that the young girl was battling at home and she had tried desperately to be there for her. Jed had also done his best, drawing her into their family discussions and squabbles and making sure to tease her just as he did his own daughters. She had loved watching Mallory blossom under their care and with the camaraderie of their girls. A consequence of that closeness was that Mallory was able to open up to her in a way that she couldn't with her own mother. As much as Abbey loved Jenny, she knew that her friend could be very straight laced and prudish, and because of that, Mallory had always felt more comfortable talking to her than she did her mother. 

"Why are you smiling?" Mallory asked her. 

"I was just remembering the summer that you were eight when we were out on the _Abigail Anne_ and Ellie told you where babies come from." 

"Oh God, I remember that," Mallory groaned. "You were pregnant with Peter and I asked my mother how you were going to get him out of your belly. Mom told me that a woman goes to the hospital to get a baby, but Ellie told me exactly what happened to her once she was IN the hospital. I was horrified," she laughed. 

"I don't blame you," Abbey smiled. "I was pretty horrified the first time I heard, too. But you were so cute. You came running up to me all out of breath and pretty freaked out and told me that your mother told you that babies come from a hospital." 

"And you told me very calmly that in most cases that was true." 

"And you got all indignant and said that Ellie told you that they come from a woman's VAGINA." 

"And Uncle Jed spit his drink all over the wheel and had a coughing fit that lasted for five minutes." Mallory laughed at the memory. 

"Hey, you were my best friend," Ellie said, catching the tail end of the conversation. "I couldn't leave you in blissful ignorance." 

"Don't go getting all high and mighty, missy," Abbey grinned at her daughter. "Do you remember what your response was when I explained the birth process to you?" 

"I'm sure I took it calmly and analytically." 

"Nice try. After telling me you thought you were going to throw up, your eyes got as big as saucers and you asked me sort of suspiciously, 'Does DADDY know about this?' as if your father knew he could change it. I explained to you that your father was well aware of how babies were born since he actually delivered YOU. You gave the poor man an incredibly dirty look and stormed off." 

"I used to think that Daddy could fix anything." Ellie grinned at the absurdity of wondering if her father knew where babies came from. 

"He does try," Abbey smiled wistfully. 

"Hey, guys, Aunt Millie and Brynn are here," Zoey called out. "Let's go." 

* * * * 

The hike had gone well. There had been a lot of reminiscing and a lot of laughter. A little over an hour on the trail they found a clearing by a stream that held a sweeping view of the valley below and decided to break for lunch. Abbey sent the girls off to explore downstream while she and Millie unpacked the food from the picnic basket. She needed a little privacy with her best friend and figured now was the best time to do it. 

As they pulled out the food, both mothers watched their laughing daughters hopping stones across the stream. Abbey watched Ellie reach back to steady Zoey on the stone behind her and smiled softly at the sight that they made, one with her own bright copper hair, and one with Jed's more muted bronze. The sunlight danced over their slender forms and kissed their almost waist long hair with bright highlights. They were so beautiful and, despite their differences in temperament, they had always been so close to each other sharing an incredibly strong sisterly bond. Her Ellie, so quiet and calm and steady, a typical middle child; and her Zoey, so fiery and outspoken and temperamental, a typical baby of the family even if that no longer held true. She loved them with a fierceness that could still overwhelm her at times. It still amazed her that these incredible creatures had actually sprung from her loins, that she, along with a little help from Jed she had to admit, had given the world five remarkable human beings. 

"They remind me of you when we were in college," Millie said, seeing where Abbey's attention lay. "Those slender little bodies and long shiny hair." 

"You mean before the babies came?" Abbey asked. 

"Oh give it up, Abbey," Millie laughed. She eyed Abbey critically. Yes, since becoming a mother her figure had changed a little, her hips were a little more rounded, her breasts a little fuller, but it only enhanced an already sexy form. "You have a figure a twenty-five year old would kill for." 

"I don't know if I'd go that far," Abbey rolled her eyes. 

"Speaking of the girls, how are Jed and Ellie doing? I felt so awful coming between them last year. Jed wants so badly to understand her and to have her love. I couldn't believe it when he said he didn't think Ellie liked him." 

"I know. That girl worships the ground that he walks on. The irony is that she felt the same way about him. She was afraid that he didn't like her as much as her sisters because she was different from all of them. But they're doing much better now. I think Jed has finally come to realize that Ellie is never going to be the outgoing political animal that Elizabeth and Zoey are, and I think she finally understands that he loves her anyway just for being her." 

Abbey's eyes fell back on the girls, in particular on Brynn. With her cap of short blond hair and compact body, she was Millie all over again. "Brynn is still the spitting image of you." 

"Thank God. I'd hate to be reminded of Sean every time I looked at her." Millie's eyes went dark at the memory of her ex-husband – Brynn's no good, cheating louse of a father. 

Abbey had to agree with her there. She had never liked Sean McGuire – never thought he was right for Millie, but back then her friend had loved the bad boys. Maybe it was the healer in her that made her think that she could 'save' their poor tortured souls. In the end she had been burned and burned badly. Thankfully, she had not lost her innate capacity to love and to trust and she had fallen in love again – this time with a kind, decent and loving man. David Griffith was the complete opposite of Sean McGuire. He was a contractor and Millie had met him when she hired him to do some work on her house in Ipswich on Boston's north shore. As Abbey liked to tease her, he'd worked on more than her house. Dave was easy going and he didn't care that his wife was a big-wig Bostonian doctor or that she made a hell of a lot more money than he did. He accepted her the way that she was. It also helped that his job enabled him to be there for young Brynn and her half brother Danny who came along a year after the marriage, the year before Zoey was born. 

"Earth to Abbey." Millie ran her hand in front of Abbey's face. 

"Sorry, I was just thinking about how lucky we are. We did pretty good, Millicent." Her eyes fell back on Mallory this time. 

"You thinking about Jenny?" 

"Yeah, and Leo. It still makes me sad to think that they didn't make it. I just hope that they can both find someone who will make them happy. But speaking of Leo, Millie, I have a HUGE favor to ask you." 

"Oh God, why don't I like the sound of that?" 

"It's not that bad, really. I just need you to help me out next Thursday night. Do you still have that blond wig that you bought when Brynn accidentally dyed your hair green?" 

* * * * 

Once they got back on solid ground, Zoey turned to Mallory. "Mall, do you have any idea what's up between our fathers?" she asked. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I don't know. It's just that whenever I've seen them lately they seem to be angry with each other. At least my dad seems to be." She picked up a rock and joined Brynn at the edge of the stream to skim the stones on the water. 

"And today when we got back from church, your father asked to see my father and you could have cut the tension with a knife," Ellie added. She wasn't around the White House as much as Zoey, so this had been the first time she had seen what Zoey was talking about. 

"Your dad's probably still ticked about the picture," Mallory said nonchalantly. She'd lived with the knowledge of that night for so long it didn't have any power over her any longer. 

"What picture?" Ellie asked. 

"The one of my dad kissing your mother." 

Ellie and Zoey stared at her their mouths falling open with shock. 

"You guys…didn't know…," Mallory said meekly. She'd thought for certain that they'd been told. 

"You're LYING!" Zoey shouted. Her fragile world was spinning and careening out of control. "My mother did NOT kiss your FATHER." 

"There's a little more to it than that, Zo. I was THERE, I saw it, but…" 

"YOU'RE A LIAR, MALLORY O'BRIEN!" Zoey threw down the rock in her hand and began to run back down the trail, fury, indignation and fear spurring her on. Her mother KISSED Uncle Leo, how could that be? How could she do that to her father? Oh God, if her mother had done something with Uncle Leo, her parents would get a divorce. Mallory had to be lying, she had to be, because if she wasn't, everything that Zoey believed about her mother was going to come crashing in around her. 

Abbey looked up as Zoey came flying out of the underbrush, her hair tangled, her legs scratched by thorns. 

Panic caused her heart to race. "My God, Zoey, what happened?" Abbey grabbed her by the shoulders and stared into her sweaty, tear streaked face. 

"Did you have an affair with Uncle Leo?" The words came out breathless and angry and with so much hurt it took Abbey's breath away. Zoey's hazel eyes blazed with righteous fury and through her own shock, Millie couldn't help but notice just how much she looked like Abbey in a tiff. 

"Zoey, calm down. What are you talking about?" 

"I wanna know about that picture. You KISSED Uncle Leo. Mallory SAW you." 

Abbey's face went white. "Mallory was there?" 

"So it is true! How could you do that to Daddy! I HATE YOU!" With a strangled sob Zoey took off down the trail toward the stream. 

"ZOEY!" Abbey called out after her. "ZOEY, COME BACK! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" 

"You kissed Leo?" Millie asked with awe. "And you NEVER told me." 


	21. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Abbey stood staring at the woods where her daughter had just disappeared. Gina had gone tearing after her while she just stood there in shock over Zoey's outburst. "Well, we're an even tempered bunch, aren't we?" She gave a deep sigh and turned to Millie who was still looking at her with surprise. "How did none of my kids inherit the repressive stiff upper lip Bartlet gene?" 

"Mom?" Her name was spoken softly, without the volatility Zoey had expressed just a few moments before, and Abbey turned to face Ellie. She'd been wrong. She did have one child who had inherited her Bartlet grandparents' more stoic bearing. Ellie had never been one to go off the deep end but that didn't mean that she didn't feel things quite deeply. Her face was pale and, while outwardly she appeared calm and in control, there was a world a hurt in her lovely eyes. "You didn't kiss Uncle Leo, did you? You wouldn't do that to Daddy." They were statements, not questions. 

Abbey smiled softly and reached out to touch Ellie's cheek. Ellie had had always been her champion. "No, Ellie, you're right. I wouldn't do that to your father. I wish your sister had given me the same benefit of the doubt." 

"Aunt Abbey." Mallory came running up behind Ellie all out of breath. "I'm so sorry. I thought they knew about the picture. I never would have said anything if I had known that they didn't." Mallory was quite close to tears. 

"It's OK, Mallory. I'll explain everything, but let's go find Zoey first." Abbey started off down the trail then turned when she realized that Millie and Brynn weren't following. 

"What are you waiting for?" Abbey asked. 

"I thought you might want some privacy." 

"I want some moral support." She grabbed Millie's arm and began dragging her along. "Besides you're only going to make me rehash this to you later, so I might as well get it all done at once." 

* * * * 

Zoey sat on the bank of the stream staring out over the water, her eyes blurred by tears. It was not easy to be the daughter of a beautiful woman, especially one who garnered as much attention as her mother now did, but Zoey had never really minded. She had never minded that before they got to the White House people had often mistaken her mother to be one of her older sisters. She had never minded that all her friends thought her mom was so cool with her leather pants and suede jackets. She had never minded that the press had referred to her and her sisters, along with her mother, as the "Bartlet Babes". She had never minded that when people told her mother that she didn't look old enough to have a daughter in college, they really MEANT it. She thought it was funny when Liz and Ellie's male friends and boyfriends made comments about how "hot" their mother was (although it wasn't quite so funny when that happened to her). She had never minded any of that because she was confident of who her mother was and just how devoted she was to her father. Now she almost resented that beauty. If her mother had not been so attractive, would that psycho Marcus Hughes still have stalked her? Would Uncle Leo still have been so attracted to her that he betrayed his best friend and kissed her? 

Still, one thing didn't make sense to Zoey. If her father had seen that picture, as Mallory said that he had, and if he was that angry with Uncle Leo, why wasn't he just as mad at her mother? There was no way he could have faked the love and affection she had seen just this morning when they had all eaten breakfast together. Something just didn't add up. 

* * * * 

Abbey found Zoey in the clearing. She was sitting on the edge of the stream her knees drawn up under her chin, her long red hair flowing over her shoulders. Jed's baby, she thought. Oh, she and Zoey were plenty close but Jed and Zoey were like two peas in a pod. Until the twins, she'd been his baby and he had both spoiled and been over-protective of her. In return, Zoey thought that the sun rose and set on her father and she would not allow anyone to speak ill of him. Abbey remembered when Zoey and Ellie were little and Jed was running for Congress. She had brought them to the playground and they were wearing their "Jed Bartlet for Congress" campaign buttons. An older boy had taken exception to that and he had come over to tell them that their father wanted to go to Washington so that he could let women kill their babies. Before she had been able to walk over and drag them away, she heard Zoey shriek, "My dad is NOT a BABYKILLER" and she hauled off and punched him in the nose. Ellie's response had been to react typically with hurt rather than anger. "Daddy loves babies," she had said. "He cried when our baby died. Why would that boy say that?" Campaigning had always been hardest on her sensitive middle child. 

Zoey had been only eleven years old when she had learned of her father's M.S. and since that moment she had become as protective of him as he was of her. Abbey knew that was a part of Zoey's irrational anger today. She was afraid – afraid of what something like that picture might do to her father. Abbey couldn't fault her for wanting to protect her daddy, even if it was protecting him from HER. 

"Zoey," she touched her shoulder. Zoey flinched but didn't look up. "I think that we need to talk." 

"What could you possibly say that I want to hear? You admitted that you kissed Uncle Leo, MOTHER," the word dripped with disdain. 

"OK, that's quite enough, young lady," Abbey said sternly. "I know that you're upset but I'm your mother and as such I deserve a little respect." 

"Were you showing your HUSBAND respect when you kissed another man?" 

God give me patience, Abbey thought with a deep sigh. Right now, she was having some very unmotherly thoughts about shaking the insolence out of her daughter. "I think you need to lose the attitude and just listen to what I have to say." Abbey motioned the others to come closer and explained to them all what happened that night. Explained it to a certain extent, that is. God willing, none of them would ever see that picture, so there was no reason for them to know the full measure of Leo's pass at her. They were simply told that Uncle Leo had had too much to drink and tried to kiss her. She pushed him away but a picture had already been taken. End of story. 

Only Mallory knew that wasn't the whole story. She had been there; she had witnessed everything and a kiss had been putting it mildly. Her father had been all over Abbey, grabbing at her breasts and rear and trying to pull her dress up. She knew Abbey had glossed it all over, probably for her benefit, but she was too embarrassed to call her on it. She didn't want all of them knowing just what her father had done. 

"In the end things worked out OK because your Uncle Leo went into rehab the next week." 

"Because Mom threatened to divorce him," Mallory said. 

"What?" Abbey asked, shocked. "He TOLD your mother what he did?" 

"He didn't have to tell her. She saw him, and so did I. Dad was speaking that night at the fundraiser so Mom let me come along for the speech. It was my first real grown up party. After his speech I wasn't feeling very well and Mom and I went looking for him so we could go home. Someone said they saw him go outside so we went out on the patio and we saw him…groping you." Mallory left out what she'd heard. "Just give me a taste Abbey, just one little taste. I've wanted you for as long as I can remember." She'd heard it all and so had her mother. Her mother had looked like she had just been slapped across the face. "Mom started to go forward to stop him but that was when you pushed him away and slapped him. I don't think she knew what to do. We went home in a cab and when Dad got home later that night, he and Mom had a really horrible fight." Mallory could still hear the awful, venomous accusations her parents had hurled at one another that night. "What were you thinking, Leo? Jesus, did you honestly think that Abbey was going to let you fuck her right there in the middle of a fundraiser with Jed right in the next room!"…"I'm not the stupid fool that you think I am, I know all about your partying political groupies. I've let you have your little bimbos, but I'm damn well not going to stand idly by and let you embarrass us by making passes at one of our FRIENDS."… "It's not like I've done this with any of our other friends, Jenny." … Why Abbey? How could you sink so low that you would do that to your best friend's wife! She has JED, Leo. Why on earth would she want anything to do with YOU?!"… "It always comes down to JED, doesn't it? You've NEVER stopped loving him, NEVER!"…"Don't even think of turning this around on me. It wasn't ME standing outside that party trying to feel Jed up. I've NEVER done anything with Jed to be ashamed of."…"Only because you never got the chance –"… What does Abbey have, Leo? Why do you want her so badly that you would you throw all caution in the wind just to try to get a taste of her? You TELL me what it is, Leo. TELL ME!"… "Maybe for once in my life I'd like to know what it's like to be with a woman who ENJOYS sex, a woman who could match a man touch for touch, a woman who is wild and passionate and uninhibited, a woman to whom sex is more than just a wifely obligation. Then again, sex might not be such a chore for you if it was Saint Jed putting it to you instead of me."…"You SON OF A BITCH!"… 

"I'd never heard them scream at each other like that before. Mom was really mad about what he did to you. When they finally both calmed down, she told him that if he didn't go into rehab and clean up his act she was going to file for divorce." 

Oh Jenny, Abbey felt tears prick her eyes at the thought of what her poor friend had seen and heard. How devastating that had to have been for her, and yet not once through the years had she ever let on that she knew what Leo had done. The ramifications of that night were turning out to be more far reaching than Abbey had ever thought, and it didn't take long for her pity for Jenny to turn into anger towards Leo. Her anger about what he had done that night had dissipated pretty quickly once he had gotten himself enrolled in a rehab clinic, mainly because she felt that some good had come out it. She had been able to justify not telling Jed what Leo had done because he had promised her to get help and was on the road to recovery. Now she was learning that it didn't have anything to do with how bad he had felt about what he'd done or the ultimatum that she'd given him in return for her silence. Now she was learning that Jenny had already given him that ultimatum. He had committed himself to the clinic so that Jenny wouldn't divorce him. So, basically she had kept his dirty little secret all these years for nothing. She felt used and betrayed and, for the first time since this whole thing had exploded in her face, she wanted a piece of Leo's hide. 

* * * * 

As promised, Abbey had finished her Mother's Day with a big family supper and then they had all sat and watched _The Lion King_ with the twins. But, with the kids in bed and Ellie and Zoey watching a horror movie on the downstairs TV, Abbey was free to vent. "I can't believe that she KNEW, Jed." She was pacing in the bedroom in her silky pajamas. "I mean, honest to God, how could she stay with him after that?" 

"I don't know, Abbey. I don't pretend to know the workings of anybody else's marriage. I don't know why that she put up with what she did." Jed thought back to the pain and sorrow in Jenny's dark eyes the nights that he had brought Leo home stinking of other women. She had known that he was sleeping around and yet she had stayed with him – she had stuck it out. He didn't understand it any better than Abbey. Didn't understand how she could go on living with and loving a man who was cheating on her at every turn. 

"I think that for a long time she just buried her head in the sand and pretended that she didn't see what was going on all around her; because if she saw it, then she would have to do something about it. I just don't know how she could allow Leo to touch her after he'd been with another woman or how she kept from seeing him with them every time they made love. I know I couldn't do it." 

"Our marriage is different from theirs, Abbey. Everybody's marriage is different and we can't project how we'd react onto how they would react. Maybe the bond that they shared wasn't strong enough to be broken by infidelity, maybe it just bent a little." Jed knew that the bond that he shared with Abbey was so strong that any act of infidelity would cause it to snap in two faster than he could say 'uncle'. He knew that Abbey would not have tolerated the indignity of betrayal with the quiet, suffering dignity that Jenny had. No, Abbey would have come at him kicking and screaming and wailing and she'd have thrown him out – not just of their bedroom, but of their home. Her love for him was too strong for her to put up with that level of betrayal. It hit him then like a cuff to the head. 

"Abbey, you know what you've always said that you'd do to me if I cheated on you?" 

"That I'd rip your balls off?" She looked down at his crotch with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, I remember saying that a couple times. Why?" 

"We've talked about this before. I know that if I slept with another woman, it would destroy you and I know that if you slept with another man it would destroy me; but it can only destroy us because we love each other. What if Leo slept with those women trying to get some kind of reaction out of Jenny, some kind of proof that she loved him. Maybe he took the way she turned the other cheek to be indifference." 

"That's kind of an extreme way to find out whether you're loved or not." 

"Yeah, well, it's not like he was thinking clearly at that point." 

"There's only one way to find out. I think it's time that I clear the air with Jenny once and for all." 


	22. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"Why didn't you ever tell me that you saw Leo and me that night at the D.N.C. fundraiser?" Abbey asked bluntly. She and Jenny were sipping iced tea on the patio of Jenny's garden. 

Jenny had known that question was coming ever since Abbey had called wanting to see her. Leo had told her about the picture and Mallory had told her what had happened on the mother/daughter outing; and since Abbey was not one to let sleeping dogs lie, she knew it wouldn't take long for some type of confrontation. "What was I supposed to say, Abbey? I'm sorry that my husband has wanted to know what it was like to sleep with you for over twenty years? I'm sorry that he tried to rip your dress off and take you right in the middle of a big political fundraiser?" Jenny's eyes filled with tears at the memory of that painful, humiliating night. 

Abbey reached out a hand to cover hers. "You have nothing to be sorry for. That isn't why I came here, Jenny." 

"I want you to know, Abbey, that I wouldn't have let it go any further. I wouldn't have let him hurt you. I started to go to help you just as you backed away and let Leo have it. I've never seen a man deserve a wallop as much as Leo did that night. Seeing what he did to you was the straw that broke the camel's back as far as I was concerned. I told him that night that if he didn't go away and get better, I was going to file for divorce." 

"I know. Mallory told me. But why, Jenny, why did you put up with it for so long?" 

"The other women?" Jenny asked sadly. 

"Yes. How could you stand it?" 

"Because the reason that Leo was so messed up, that our marriage was such a mess was all because of me. It was all my fault." 

"Because you were in love with Jed?" Abbey asked gently. 

"Yes," Jenny whispered with shame. "He was my first love, my first real crush and my best friend. We got so close working for Father Flynn, but I knew he was off limits. I knew he was thinking of joining the seminary and I was a good Catholic girl; I wasn't going to get involved with a man who'd had a calling for the priesthood. But, as I got to know Jed, he began to tell me about all his doubts. He knew he hadn't had the calling. He knew that he was joining the priesthood for all the wrong reasons – to please his mother and piss off his father – and he was beginning to wonder if those were good enough reasons. I had hope then – hope that when he finally made the decision not to join the seminary, which I knew he would do sooner or later – that I would be the one that he would turn to. That he would one day wake up and not see me as his good old pal Jenny, but as a desirable woman. I never got that chance. We went to that party together and he met you, and the rest, as they say, is history." 

"He never knew how you felt, Jenn. He never meant to hurt you. He feels terrible about that. If he'd known how you felt, he never would have come to you gushing about me and how I was his message from God telling him not to join the priesthood." 

"I know. I don't blame him. I might have hated YOU for awhile," she smiled sadly, "but I never blamed him. I knew that he never saw me the way that I saw him. He was a totally different man after he fell in love with you – happier, more confident, eager to face the future, and so full of life. You two were a perfect fit. I learned how to deal with your relationship because, as much as it hurt, I still wanted to be his friend. He was too important to me for me to lose that friendship." 

"God, that had to be so hard. We were pretty into each other back then." 

"Back then?" Jenny laughed. "You mean that's changed?" 

"I guess not. But I mean you were with us a lot at that time." 

Jenny remembered how it had been to be around a couple who was falling in love. They were always holding hands, always touching and kissing. Even when they were studying in the library they held hands or played footsie under the table. 

"It was hard, but not as hard as being a part of your wedding." 

"Oh, Jenny," Abbey groaned. "I hadn't thought about that. If I'd known how you felt, I never would have asked you to be one of my bridesmaids. I mean Jed didn't have any sisters and you were so close to him and you and I had become friends, so that's why I asked." 

"I know," Jenny smiled. "It's OK. I really was honored that you thought of me that way and I did love how happy that you made Jed. I loved him. I wanted him to be happy; nobody deserved that more than he did. I thought it would be OK. I thought I was over him. I hadn't counted on it hurting as much as it did. And that's where Leo came in. We were paired up bridesmaid to usher. We were both hurting – me over Jed and he because his father had just recently committed suicide. I knew that he was Jed's best friend and, subconsciously, I think that I thought I could use him as a substitute. I married him thinking that I would have a husband just like Jed." 

"They're such different people, Jenn." 

"I found that out soon enough, and when I did, I spent years trying to turn poor Leo into Jed. I never let Leo be Leo. I was always comparing him to Jed and somehow he always came up lacking. It's no wonder he turned to the alcohol." 

"Jenny, Leo was already drinking pretty heavily when he came back from Vietnam. The seeds for alcoholism were rooted deeply in his childhood. You didn't turn him into an alcoholic." 

"Well, I didn't help matters, did I? Maybe I could have nipped it in the bud if I'd been a better wife, if I'd loved him more than I did, if I did the things that he wanted to do." 

"What kind of things are you talking about?" Abbey gave her puzzled look. 

"You know…sexual things." Jenny actually blushed. "I wasn't… you know… a very sexual person. It's not that I hate it or anything. It's just that I've never had a very strong sex drive and Leo's was fairly normal, I guess." This conversation was obviously difficult for the straight-laced Jenny. The Jenny who'd tried to talk Abbey out of getting the tattoo on her hip. The Jenny who had been shocked by some of Abbey's amorous answers to the Cosmo questionnaire last summer. "Leo was always wanting to experiment. He wanted to do some things that I just couldn't bring myself to do – things that I heard him asking you to do. He knew that your sex life with Jed was a little more…how shall we say, adventurous, because one time when we were staying at your house, he went into the master bath to get some aspirin for me and on the way there he saw one of those sex books on the bookshelf in your bedroom. You know the one with all the…positions and stuff." 

" _Kama Sutra_ ," Abbey nodded. 

"He showed it to me. He wanted to ask Jed if we could borrow it and I was horrified. I told him there was no way that he was bringing that pornography into my home." 

"Oh Jenny, it's not pornographic. It's really about the art of making love and how to enhance your pleasure by using your entire body, along with different positions and techniques. You should have let Leo read it. It even teaches a man how to hold off his orgasm in order to give his partner more pleasure." Abbey gave her a lascivious smile and Jenny couldn't help but grin; though her cheeks had turned rosy red with embarrassment. 

"You see, you're the kind of woman that Leo wanted – a woman who could be open to all that kind of stuff. I couldn't be that, so I really can't blame him for turning to other women. I stayed with Leo even though he cheated on me because I felt guilty. If I'd been able to love him for who he was and give him the intimacy that he wanted, he wouldn't have had to turn to the bottle for comfort and he wouldn't have had to turn to other women." Jenny couldn't bring herself to admit to Abbey that she'd always wondered if she would have enjoyed sex more with Jed. If she would have been able to be more relaxed and open or if it was simply in her nature to be more reticent or repressed as Leo would often say. 

"Even if you did have differences in your libido levels, he still never should have cheated on you. It was wrong of him to sleep with other women while he was married to you. You were his WIFE, Jenny; he owed you his loyalty and his respect. I used to look at you and wonder how you could do it. How could you live with him and sleep with him knowing that he'd been with other women. It would have KILLED me." 

Jenny gave Abbey a long look knowing that what the other woman said was true. But, Abbey was one of the lucky ones. She was as sure of her Jed as any woman could be of her husband. "You wonder what happened to my self-respect? 

"I didn't say, Jenn. I'm not here to judge you." 

"But you were thinking it. Believe me, I used to wonder the same thing. But you see, if I'd left Leo I would have had nothing. I wasn't like you; I didn't have a career to fall back on. Hell, if you'd ever had to leave Jed, you could have supported yourself and the girls easily. You've always made more money than he did." 

"Leo may not have been the greatest of husbands, but I KNOW that he would have seen to it that you and Mallory were well taken care of." 

"Money," Jenny snorted. "Money means nothing in this town. In this town it's all about power and prestige – who's in and who's out. I liked my life as Mrs. Leo McGarry. I loved being a Washington hostess and having my house filled with all the movers and shakers of the government. I liked working on my charities and going to events at the White House. I really could see myself as the First Lady someday. If I had divorced Leo, I would have lost all of that. I would have become _persona non grata_. No more invitations to glitzy embassy parties, no more White House teas, and no more calls to head up the latest fashionable charity. That's the way that it would be now, if I weren't a friend of yours and the President. I will tell you though, that I was not a fool. I'd been hearing the rumors of Leo's womanizing for quite a while, but this was Washington and rumors were always flying. Then, one day I was going into town to have brunch with a friend. Leo was supposedly out of town giving a speech somewhere in the mid-west; but as I drove by the Watergate, I saw him coming out with a young woman. I was stunned. For a minute I couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me. I pulled over to the side of the road and I watched him. There was no doubt about it. He gave her a long kiss – the kind of kiss you give your lover – helped her into her car, picked up his suitcase and headed for his car. I think I must have sat there crying for more than a half-hour. When he came home later that day, I had moved his things into the guestroom. I didn't sleep with him again until after he went through rehab." 

"Jenny, did you know how Leo felt? About me, I mean?" 

"Yeah, I guess I did," Jenny said quietly. "He never spoke about it to me but I could see the way that he looked at you sometimes, and I could tell from the way that he talked about you that he thought you were pretty hot." 

"Hot?" Abbey laughed. 

"Yeah, after all you were the one who brought home that pornographic sex book," Jenny grinned. "You were sexy and Leo has always gone for sexy; but you were also unattainable, so it was almost like he had a crush on some Hollywood movie star that he was never going to have. You were Leo's fantasy. You were also his best friend's wife, so I never really had any fears that he would act on his feelings for you." 

"God, you must have hated me at times." 

"Yeah, at times I did," Jenny said honestly. "But they were just brief moments. You are who you are. I knew you never encouraged Leo, and how could I blame you for falling in love with Jed? He was such an easy guy to fall in love with. You were just the lucky one in that he fell madly, wildly, and passionately in love with YOU." 

"I'm sorry, Jenny." Tears now filled Abbey's eyes. "I'm sorry that your entire marriage was estranged. I'm sorry that you've never known that kind of wild, passionate love. You don't have that with Jeffrey, do you?" 

"Is it so easy to see?" 

"Only for one who knows what that kind of love is like." 

"No, what I have with Jeffrey is comfortable. It's easy and there's none of the turmoil that I shared with Leo." 

"Sounds kind of boring if you ask me. Jenny, don't limit yourself. We only get one life. Go out and grab the bull by the horns. Don't commit yourself to a man until you find one who is absolutely, crazy in love with you. A man who needs you so fiercely it will take your breath away." This was the same advice that Jed had given her at the State Dinner last winter. They really were two halves of a whole. 

"I don't think that I'm the kind of woman to rouse those kinds of emotions in a man, and if I did, it would scare the hell out of me." 

"I think every woman has that in her. Just let yourself go. Let yourself feel. I'm telling you, Jenn, every woman deserves to be insanely loved at least once in her life." 

It was so easy for her, Jenny thought. As much as Abbey's profession called for her to be cool and level headed, in her private life, she had always been emotional and tempestuous and ruled by her heart. Maybe that was what drove men crazy about her – that combination of cool competence on the one side and unrestrained sensuality on the other. Maybe that was why Jenny's ex-husband found her so damn irresistible. 

* * * * 

"Abbey, I still don't think this is such a good idea." CJ was pacing in the First Lady's bedroom while Abbey tucked her hair into the short blond wig Millie had given her. 

"It'll be fine, CJ." 

"If something happens to you out there and we don't have an agent with us, the President is going to blow a gasket. He'll KILL me. " 

"He won't KILL you, CJ. He might fire you, but he won't kill you." 

"That's a comforting thought, ma'am. Thanks." 

"CJ, don't be such an old lady. Nothing is going to happen to me." 

"I just know that somehow this is going to backfire on me. Somehow, someway, we're gonna get caught. I always get caught," she was babbling now, as she always did when she was nervous. "Back when I was in high school I could never play hooky. I…" 

"CJ." 

"Yes?" 

"Shut up." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

As Abbey finished fixing her wig, there was a knock on the door. It was Millie and she was dressed just the way that Abbey had asked her to be – in black jeans and a black sweater. It was the exact clothing that both she and CJ were wearing. When Abbey left the White House, it would be as Dr. Millicent Griffith. 

"Abbey, are you sure that you want to go through with this?" Millie asked. "I mean I could follow Danny with CJ." 

"No way. I came up with this plan and I'm damn well going to be a part of it. That picture has caused major emotional upheaval in my family and I want to know just who is responsible for that. I'm not going to let some lily-livered, gossip hungry, S.O.B. use ME to ruin Jed's re-election chances. My husband wants four more years and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that he gets them." 

Both Millie and CJ knew what she had left unsaid. That she wanted to find out who had caused her husband all this unneeded stress and heartache and make them pay for that. Abbey was just as protective of Jed as Jed was of her and she wasn't going to let anyone get away with hurting him. 

"Speaking of that husband," Millie said. "Jed is going to kill you if he finds out that you went out of the White House without Secret Service protection." 

"Well, it's not like he hasn't done it before." 

"To go shopping in a bookstore and into 'Victoria's Secret' to buy you a naughty nightie. NOT to drive around D.C. and go to some nightclub." 

"Will you both stop worrying? Jed is giving a speech in Florida; he won't be home until well after midnight. Besides, I can handle my husband. He's hardly the homicidal maniac that you two are making him out to be." 

Millie gave CJ a worried look over Abbey's head but there wasn't much they could do. When Abbey made up her mind there was no changing it. 

"OK, we better go." Abbey stuffed a small digital camera in its carrying case. 

"Don't forget, Millie. Don't answer the door. You're me for the night." 

"What about the kids? Don't you usually put them to bed?" 

"It's all taken care of. I told Izzy I have a horrible migraine and that I don't want to be disturbed tonight. You can watch TV in here. I left you some snacks in the little fridge. Now we really have to fly. Wish us luck." 

"Good luck," Millie sighed. "Be careful." 

With Abbey gone, Millie grabbed a yogurt and plopped herself down on the presidential bed. It had been nothing to sit on Abbey's bed back home at the farm; she had done so often. But, this was the presidential bed and sitting here watching TV was something that she was going to be able to boast about for some time to come. Quickly bored with the offerings from the TV world, she got to her feet to check out the DVD that lay on top of the player. _Unfaithful_ , she mused, how appropriate for what was going on at the moment. Evidently, it had been the last DVD the couple had watched since it was still in the DVD player. Millie pressed play, then laid back on the bed to watch. 

* * * * 

Jed entered the residence whistling a happy little tune – an unexpected night off. A tropical storm had closed off any flights into Tampa, so he was off the hook for his speaking engagement. Knowing that Abbey was off tonight as well, he headed toward the bedroom with a bounce in his step. Since the birth of the twins, she tried to really limit her nightly speaking engagements so that she could be there for supper and baths and tucking in. That was definitely good news for him. He opened the door to the bedroom slowly. It was dark but the TV was on and Abbey was lying in bed sleeping. He was surprised to see that she was watching _Unfaithful_ again. They'd just watched it quite recently and neither of them had particularly enjoyed it. The subject matter had just been a little too raw at the moment, and it had been hard for either of them to get into a movie where they could feel neither compassion nor empathy for the main character. He tossed his suit coat onto a chair and began to undo his tie as he approached the sleeping form of his wife. 

"Abbey," he said softly. "Abigail. Abbey, I have the whole night off. Got any ideas about what we might do?" He bent down to press a kiss to her cheek. 

"Mr. President!" Millie awoke with a start and jumped at the touch of his lips to her cheek. 

"Millie!" Jed gasped, jerking his head back. "What are you doing in my bed? And where the hell is my wife?" 


	23. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"CJ, may I have the keys?" Abbey asked as the two women approached CJ's car. 

"Why?" 

"It's been ages since I've been allowed to drive a car. If I'm going to be sprung from the loony bin, I may as well take full advantage of it." 

"I don't think it's such a good idea for you to drive, Abbey." 

"Why not? I'm a good driver. I used to commute forty minutes through hellish Massachusetts traffic to Boston every day. If I can drive in Boston, I can drive anywhere." 

"It's not your credentials that I'm worried about." 

"Did Jed tell you about all my parking tickets?" Abbey's eyes narrowed. "Because those were really unfair. There was no reason that I shouldn't have been able to park wherever the hell I wanted when I was on my way to an emergency." 

"No, I'm not worried about getting a parking ticket," CJ smiled. She could totally picture the First Lady's frustration and indignation at being served a parking ticket when her arrival was a matter of life or death. She could also see the President patiently paying those parking tickets behind her back. 

"Then we're agreed, there isn't any problem." She grabbed the keys from CJ and slid behind the wheel with excitement. 

"There may be a problem." CJ slid into the passenger side. "Do you even have a valid driver's license?" 

Abbey thought of her un-renewed New Hampshire license sitting in her bureau at home. "No. But come on, if I get pulled over, do you honestly think that a cop is going to need to see my license to figure out who I am?" Abbey started the car and began to back out. 

"That's what I'm worried about. All it would take is one little fender bender and can you just imagine the headlines. The First Lady, wearing a wig in disguise, was driving without a license when she was rear ended by another vehicle. Neither the Secret Service nor the President knew of her whereabouts. Christ, compared to that lovely scenario, the picture is almost benign." 

Abbey stopped at a stop sign and turned to look at her nervous friend. "CJ, I think you've been hanging around Toby way too long. Do you ever look at the positive side of things anymore or is everything an apocalyptic catastrophe?" 

"I've learned to expect the worse." She settled back into her seat morosely and Abbey turned on the radio. As she sang "Heatwave" along with Martha Reeves and the Vandella's, she realized just how much she missed the freedom of driving – of hopping into her car and going wherever she wanted. She missed the sporty little convertible BMW Jed had given her for her fortieth birthday. She missed driving home from work with the top down and the wind blowing her hair. Hell, at this point she'd even take the sturdy Volvo that she used to cart the girls around in or the Explorer that Jed used to commute north. Being chauffeured around had at first been a novelty, but that novelty had soon worn off. At times it could be downright claustrophobic having to have her every move monitored, and it certainly wasn't any fun not to be able to sing along at full volume to her favorite songs on the radio. 

"Whenever I'm with him, somethin' inside starts me burnin' and I'm filled with desire. Could it be a devil in me or is this the way love's supposed to be. It's like a heatwave, burnin' in my heart…." 

My God, it was like she was on her first teenaged joyride, CJ thought as she eyed the singing First Lady. She was having way too much fun and that could only mean one thing. Doom. 

* * * * 

"I'll ask you again, Millie. Where is Abbey?" 

Millie stared at him at a loss as to what to say. 

Suddenly Jed lost his bluster and his face tightened. 

"It's not any of the kids, is it? The girls, the twins, they're all right, aren't they?" 

"No, no, Mr. President," Millie took his arm to assure him. "They're fine. 

"Then where is Abbey?" 

"Out." 

"Abbey is out and you're here watching TV. Why doesn't that make any sense to me?" 

"I'm babysitting." Millie was grasping at straws now. 

"We have a nanny. In fact, I saw her on my way in. Millie, what are you covering up?" 

"I'm not covering anything up. Abbey just…" 

"Wait a minute," Jed cut her off abruptly, his head snapping back toward the door. "I saw her two agents outside the door. Did Abbey leave the White House without her agents?" 

"Mr. President, calm down. Abbey's fine. She…" 

"She did, didn't she?" Jed stormed away from Millie and flung open the door. He eyed her two agents angrily. "You two, in here. NOW." 

* * * * 

A haze of smoke lay like a blanket over the inner sanctum of the run down bar, and the smell of that smoke, along with the sickening stench of unwashed bodies enveloped the two women who walked in. The bar was nothing like what Abbey had expected. If, and that was a very big IF, the bar was actually in Georgetown, it was on the very extreme edge of the part of town that she had always associated with quaint shops and elegant restaurants. This bar was nothing like the places that she and Jed had frequented when she visited while he was in Congress. It was nothing like the upscale pubs that she and Jed still snuck out to every once in a while. This wasn't even a raucous college bar. The people here were not suited government workers or casual co-eds. In fact, to say that it was blue-collar would be giving it more credit than it was do. This bar was simply a dive, and as such it was totally out of Abbey's realm of experience. Then again, it was probably the perfect place for someone to remain incognito as they made a drug deal, planned a hit, or even handed over material that threatened the reputation of the President's wife. 

Abbey discreetly coughed and glanced through the foggy smoke at CJ who was shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She knew the other woman was feeling just as out of place in these surroundings as she did. With her body turned in her seat, she was able to see the two burly beer-gutted men, who had come on to them as soon as they'd sat down at the bar, begin another approach. She barely had time to roll her eyes at CJ before they were upon them. 

"Come on, ladies, why ya playin' so hard to get. All we want to do is buy ya a drink." Abbey and CJ were at the far end of the bar watching Danny from a distance. They hadn't counted on their cover being thrown into jeopardy by two insistent men who didn't seem to understand what 'no' meant. 

"We don't drink," CJ informed him. 

"Then why're you at a bar," the other man laughed. "Aw I get it, you guys really ARE slummin' it and you decided to get yourselves a piece of a real man. Come on, baby, let's dance." He grabbed Abbey's elbow trying to pull her off her stool. 

"I don't dance," Abbey said haughtily and pulled her elbow out of his grasp. 

"Hey, you look kinda familiar," he said, trying to scrutinize her face. "What do ya think, Eddie? She looks kinda like a blonde Abbey Bartlet." 

Abbey put her head down, her heart beginning to race erratically. CJ was right; maybe she had been stupid to try to pull this off. God, if the press got hold of this, they'd never live the scandal down. 

"Naw, Abbey Bartlet's taller and she's got bigger boobs. Not that yours aren't real pretty darlin', cause they sure are." 

CJ saw Danny get up from the bar and start to head for the door. 

"We have to go, Lula Mae." CJ grabbed Abbey's arm and began pulling her toward the door. "See you later, boys." 

"Did you hear that?" Abbey asked as they left the bar. "Bigger boobs, my ass," she griped, looking down at her chest. "And what was that about being shorter. I hardly think…" 

"I wouldn't be worried about what two half-drunk cretins think of you. You're wearing sneakers; you never wear sneakers on TV, of course you looked shorter. Now ssshhh… There he goes around the corner. I think that if we go down this alley we'll be able to keep hidden." 

The two women began walking down the darkened alley, both nervous and jittery. As women, this was something that went against everything they had been taught to do. You simply didn't walk down dark alleys in the middle of the night. 

"CJ, what is that?" Abbey stopped and grabbed CJ's arm as they saw a moving shadow in the moonlight behind the dumpster. 

"I…I don't know." CJ's voice quivered with fear. "But I could use a Secret Service agent right about now." 

Abbey silently agreed. Oh God, how stupid had she been to do this? What had she been thinking? She knew better than to tempt fate like this. 

A loud clatter caused the two women to gasp in fear, then hold their breath as they waited for some Michael Myers psychopath to come out from behind the dumpster with knife in hand. They stood clutching each other for what seemed like minutes, but was probably only a few seconds, before the mangy form of a stray cat darted across their path. 

"A cat?" CJ let her breath out. "I was about to pee my pants over a cat?" 

Abbey laughed nervously. She felt silly for being so afraid. Her laughter, however, was cut short and turned into a gasp of terror as a strong hand gripped her elbow and she felt a large form press against her from behind. 

"It isn't safe to play in dark alleys." The deeply masculine voice caused Abbey's blood to run cold with fear and she whipped around to face her assailant. 

* * * * 

"Can we help you, sir?" The agents asked. 

"I sure as hell hope so. I'd like to know where my wife is." 

"She's here, sir." The agent looked puzzled. "She hasn't left all night." 

"That's funny, cause she sure isn't here." 

Jed stepped aside and the agents saw Millie. They looked at each other with puzzlement. "But Dr. Griffith, we saw you leave quite a while ago," one confused agent said. 

Millie's face reddened and suddenly Jed put two and two together. "Dr. Griffith didn't leave tonight, did she? Somebody who looked like her did, and that somebody was my wife, wasn't it, Millie?" 

Millie knew it was all over and finally caved. "Yes, Abbey needed to take care of some business, so she wore a wig and left the White House disguised as me." 

The agents watched the President's face flush with anger. No man would take it well hearing that his wife went off in disguise for a secret assignation, but both had been on Abbey's detail for a while and neither had seen this coming. Neither had been aware of any boyfriends the First Lady might have. But Jed was not thinking about Abbey sneaking off with a lover, he knew her better than that. 

"This has something to do with some kind of plan she's been hatching with CJ, doesn't it?" Jed asked. "I've seen the two of them whispering and then they conveniently shut up as soon as I get close. What are they up to, Millie?" 

"It's nothing horrible. They should be back any time now." 

"This isn't some cute little episode of _Murder She Wrote_. Abbey could get into some serious trouble out there. Millie, you have to tell me what in the hell is going on." 

It was the very real alarm in his tone that caused Millie to give it up on her friend. She hadn't liked the idea of Abbey doing this in the first place and she didn't like how Jed was reacting to her little getaway. "They snuck into Danny Concannon's day planner last week and found out when he was meeting with the person who gave him the picture in order to return it to him or her. They want to find out who it is so they can stop the person from going to the tabloids. So, that's where they went." 

"And where exactly is that?" 

"A bar in Georgetown." 

"What's the name of the bar, MILLICENT?" Jed was getting frustrated now. 

"I don't know, sir. I was just asked to stay here while Abbey left disguised as me. I don't know their whole plan. All I know is that it was a bar in Georgetown." 

"I could have you tortured, Millie." Jed narrowed his eyes at her. 

"Honest to God, I'd tell you if I could." 

"GODDAMMIT…I swear I'm going to KILL her." Jed slammed his fingers through his hair with fury. He turned to the agents. "I want every bar in Georgetown gone through with a fine tooth comb. You get out there and find my wife." 

The agents were already one step ahead him and were already putting out APB's proclaiming Scarlet's disappearance. 

Jed sat down breathing heavily, his adrenaline still running amok. He remembered vividly the fight that he'd had with Zoey over the restraints of Secret Service protection and the way that he'd spilled out his nightmare scenario to her. He'd made her cry. He never thought that he should have had the same conversation with his wife. Just the idea of someone kidnapping Abbey, roughing her up, holding a gun to her head while they made demands caused his hand to shake with both rage and fear. He knew there was no way that he wouldn't do whatever it took to get her back safely and he was furious with her for putting herself in such a vulnerable position. 

Millie saw his shaking hands and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It'll be OK, Jed. She'll be fine. Nobody will even recognize her as the First Lady." 

"You don't know, Millie. You just don't know what's out there. I have to see reports almost every day about psychos and terrorists that want to kidnap, or hurt, or kill my wife and my children. Without her agents Abbey is a sitting duck." 


	24. Thou Shalt Not Covet

The man caught her hand just before it connected with his face. 

"Whoa, hold on there, Bruce Lee." 

"Josh!" She gasped with incredulity as she was able to focus on her husband's Deputy Chief of Staff along with Sam, who was having his arm punched by an enraged CJ. "You IDIOTS! What were you thinking sneaking up on us like that?" 

"We were thinking about protecting two foolish women who went out into a dark alley." Sam said. 

"By giving us HEART ATTACKS?" CJ asked. "Yeah, that was really helpful. You two really take the cake." 

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Abbey asked. 

"We saw you both sneaking around in the parking lot dressed like something out of _To Catch a Thief_ and we knew something was up. We wanted to keep you out of trouble." 

"Believe it or not, BOYS, we are grown women. We can take care of ourselves." Abbey had just about had it with this macho attitude they had going. She and CJ had come up with this plan and they had been implementing it just fine until these two bozos had shown up. 

"Didn't look that way from where I'm standing," Josh said arrogantly. "What if it hadn't been me grabbing you from behind. What if I'd been one of those toothless guys from the bar who were drooling in their beer over the two of you, you know the ones straight out of _Deliverance_. 

"Then you'd be laying on your back right now with your nose broken and your privates kicked up into your belly somewhere." Abbey gave him a steely look. "Ron taught me some pretty good self-defense moves. You're just lucky I recognized it was you." 

"I forgot about that," Sam paled, and his hand moved instinctively to protect his crotch. "We could have gotten hurt." 

Josh gave him a disgusted look and was just about to inform him that there was no way that some 5 foot 3 inch 110 pound WOMAN was going to get the best of HIM when CJ grabbed his arm. 

"Everyone be quiet," she hushed them. "Look, there they are." All four looked up to see the two people standing across the street from the alley. They began to move stealthily forward as a unit. As they reached the edge of the alley, Abbey slipped the small digital camera out of her pocket. After receiving it as a birthday gift, she had become very proficient with it as she chronicled every amazing new step her babies took into toddlerhood. It was hard to see with the naked eye just to whom Danny was speaking, but as soon as Abbey zoomed in with the camera her eyes widened with astonishment. 

"Oh God." All the air left her lungs with those two words as she continued to snap pictures. "I can't believe it's HER!" 

* * * * 

"Sir, we've been able to pick up Ms. Cregg's car," Ron told Jed. "They're just about a mile from the White House. Would you like us to pull them over and bring her in?" 

The relief in Jed was readily apparent as he sank to the chair with a deep sigh. He sat that way for a few moments giving thanks, then turned back to Ron. With Abbey safe, he was free to let his anger take him where it may. 

"No, Ron. Follow them in, but don't let them know that you guys are on to them. I think I'd like to be the one to catch my wife in the act." 

"Yes, sir." 

Oh yes, Jed thought. His pretty little wife thought she'd pulled a real fast one over on him but, boy, was she going to be in for a rude awakening. 

"Sir, can I ask what kind of diabolical plan you are hatching?" Millie asked. 

"I'm not hatching anything, Millie. But I do think now that we know Abbey is safe, you should head home. I'm sure Dave is waiting up for you." 

"I think I'll stay right where I am. You have that look in your eye." 

"What look?" 

"The look that says that Abbey may think she's not married to a homicidal maniac, but who's to say." 

Jed nearly grinned at that description. "Millie, go home." 

* * * * 

Abbey glanced at her watch as she quickly made her way down the hall toward her bedroom. It was a little after midnight; Jed should already be on his way home from Andrews. With a little luck she could undress and be in bed before he got home and he would be none the wiser. She was filled with a strange mixture of elation, shock, and downright anger. She still couldn't believe that she'd actually gotten away with her night out, although her nerves were still stretched taut with the fear of being caught. Hell, she felt like she was a teenager again sneaking in past curfew. She couldn't wait to show Jed the evidence in the little camera she carried in her pocket, even though he would never get to know that SHE had been the one to snap the photos. As she opened the door to the darkened living room of the residence, she was already pulling off the uncomfortable wig and taking out the pins that were picking into her scalp. Before she could make her way to the wall switch, the room was suddenly blazing with light. Abbey jumped with surprise and spun around holding the wig to her chest. 

"Hello, Buttercup." It was said sweetly, but Abbey could definitely pick up the steely undertones in Jed's voice. 

He eyed her form in the tight fitting black jeans and black sweater and the way her hair was pulled back into a tight bun that would fit under the wig. "Been out playing cat burglar, have you?" 

"Jed,…I…I can explain." 

Jed began to move around her in a predatory circle, eyeing her up and down. "Not that it isn't a good look for you, but really, Abigail, I don't know whether I should shake you or take you over my knee. What on EARTH were you thinking?" 

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your daughters," Abbey snapped. "I'm not a child in need of punishment." 

"Then maybe you shouldn't act like one. Christ, I expect this kind of behavior out of Zoey, but you KNOW better, Abbey. Do you have any idea of what could have happened to you while you were out there playing Nancy Drew?" 

"Actually, I like to think of myself as more of a James Bond girl." 

"This isn't FUNNY, Abigail!" he exploded. "Dammit, I've been sitting here for over an hour wondering what the hell I was going to do if something happened to you out there. Do you know how many people would love to hurt me by hurting YOU? Terrorists, white supremacists, crazed pro-lifers…" 

"Enough, Jed. I know the list as well as you do." 

"And that isn't even counting the general psychos like Marcus Hughes who fixate on you." Jed watched her face pale at the mention of that name and knew that he had finally gotten through to her. He had just made the danger a true reality. He didn't have to lecture her; she knew from personal experience what kind of evil was out there. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly, contritely. "I didn't mean to make you worry. You were never supposed to know about tonight." 

"That doesn't make any better, Abbey. In fact it makes it worse." 

Abbey thought of how she had felt in that alley the moment before realizing her assailant was Josh. What if it had been a terrorist or a member of a hate group? What if they had taken her and used her to manipulate Jed? "I know," she said, defeated. "In retrospect, I guess it wasn't the best idea I've ever come up with. I don't ever want to put you in the position where you have to choose between me or the country. I'm really sorry." Her last words were said softly as she moved closer to him and took the lapels of his jacket into her hands. 

"Don't do that," he broke away. 

"Don't do what?" She gazed up at him from under her lashes. 

"THAT. You know exactly what you're doing, Abbey. Don't go all soft on me. Fight back. I can't stay angry with you if you're apologizing and, baby, I DO want to be angry with you tonight. You scared ten years off my life." 

"You can't stay angry with me," she purred, moving back up to grab his lapels. "You love me. I see it right there," she ran her finger under one eye, "and right there" she ran it under the other." 

"That doesn't mean I don't want to punish you." 

"Ooh, do you promise?" 

Jed looked down into her hazel eyes that were dancing with mischief and he laughed, in spite of himself. "You're incorrigible, you little minx." He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled her into his embrace, thankful that he had her safe and sound and just where he wanted her. 

"So, you want to see who gave Danny the picture?" she asked the question against the base of his throat. 

"Well, since you went to all that trouble to find out, I guess I could take a look." He tried to sound blasé, but he really did want to see who it was. 

"OK." She jumped out of his arms with excitement and raced over to get her camera. Jed smiled at her enthusiasm. Abbey had always been more interested in finding out who had given Danny the picture than he had been. For a long time he hadn't really cared, he had been dealing with the pain and trauma of what was IN the photo and everything else just paled in comparison to that. But, now that he was coming to terms with what had happened, he found that his curiosity was piqued and he wanted to know who it was that had tried to destroy him. "Get a load of this." Abbey began the playback on the digital camera. 

"Well, I'll be damned." His eyes widened with shock as he saw photo after photo of his opponent's wife accepting the photos back from Danny with an angry look on her face. 

"No, she's going to be damned," Abbey said firmly. "Janet Ritchie. Just wait until I see her next week at the play." 

"Abbey, maybe it would be best if you're not involved. Let me deal with Rob or…" 

"No way, buster. You're not taking this one away from me. I figured out who it is and I'm going to confront her with it." 

"I don't know. I don't think we should let this get personal. Bruno will kick her ass for you." Jed wanted Janet Ritchie stopped just as much as Abbey, but he was still so raw over what was IN the photo, it was hard for him to get as worked up over who had brought it to his attention. 

"I don't want someone kicking her ass FOR me. I want to do it. This IS personal, Jed. This has nothing to do with which of our husbands will make a better President. She wanted to slander me, defame my character and make you look like an emasculated fool. She wanted to break up our marriage and she nearly succeeded in breaking up a thirty-year friendship. Oh yes, this is completely PERSONAL." 

"OK, OK, she's all yours. Just don't leave any scars." God, was she cute when she was all fired up. 

"I'm not making any promises." 

* * * * 

The next morning as they dressed for work, Jed entered the bathroom to see Abbey in just a half-slip and a lacy bra. She was turning from side to side in the mirror studying her body from each angle and thrusting her chest out. 

"Can I ask what you're doing?" he asked with amusement. 

"Do my boobs look like they're getting smaller to you?" 

"Well, they're smaller than when you were breast feeding, if that's what you mean." 

"No, I mean recently." 

"Thelma and Louise look just fine to me," he grinned, and moved to stand in front of her. "But let me give them the old Jed Bartlet test." He covered each breast with a hand, lifting, weighing and molding, as if he were checking a melon for ripeness. His brow was furrowed as if he were in deep concentration. 

"OK, Jed," she slapped his hands away. "I didn't ask the question as part of foreplay." 

"Well, they feel the same to me and I AM the expert. I know those breasts like the back of my own hand. What made you think you were smaller?" 

"Oh, just something a guy said at the bar." She turned to leave the bathroom, but Jed grabbed her elbow. 

"Unh uh. You aren't just waltzing out of here after making that provocative little statement. Why was some man at the bar commenting on your breast size?" 

"He wanted me to dance with him and he told me that I looked like a blonde Abbey Bartlet, but he said that the real Abbey was taller and had bigger boobs." 

"So you're worried that your boobs aren't as big as…your own boobs?" he chuckled and Abbey broke free of his hold and left the room flashing him a look of irritation. 

"It's the camera, Abigail," he called out after her, still laughing. "The camera adds ten pounds. Lucky for you those pounds show up right in your chest." He ducked as he dodged a pillow Abbey threw at him. "Hey, be thankful he didn't say your butt." The next pillow hit him square in the face. 

* * * * 

CJ entered the Oval Office taking a deep breath to fortify her against the explosion she knew was coming. Abbey had called her before she left on an overnight trip to Sacramento to give her the heads up on how the President had caught her in the act. It was just as she had suspected. The President knew everything and she was about to get her butt chewed for her participation in the First Lady's spy games. 

"Sir, before you begin, I know that what I did was wrong. I should have listened to my instincts and followed Danny on my own; but in my defense, the First Lady is very persuasive and…" 

"CJ," the President's face was serious and she was unable to gauge just how angry he was. "I didn't call you in here to discuss your part in my wife's little caper, although we will revisit that issue in the future." 

"Then, I don't understand." She gave him a puzzled look as she turned to see Ron Butterfield standing in the room. 

"CJ, you're getting Secret Service protection, but I can't order it without your signature so here, sign the paper." He thrust a piece of paper at her. CJ was aware of the death threats that had come after she had made what some viewed as "anti-Islamic" comments. She hadn't expected the President to become involved. 

"Sir, I think you're overreacting…" 

"OVERREACTING? You're a member of my family, CJ, and I will NOT permit this. The last time something like this happened my wife, my children and my dog were nearly killed and I ended up with an armful of stitches. Overreacting? You're lucky I don't put ten agents on you." 

"I understand, sir," CJ swallowed. Her heart had swelled at his inclusion of her into his family and his obvious concern for her well being. It gave her a warm feeling inside to see that he was being just as overprotective of her as he was to his own family. It had been a long time since she had felt that kind of dominant caring. Her father was sick and wasn't able to remember half of what she told him. She rarely spoke to her brother, except at holidays and special occasions. The Bartlets and the other senior staffers, they had become her family. To a woman who lived alone and was without a significant other, the proof that somebody truly cared about her safety was heartening. "I do understand how you feel, but is there any evidence that this person is not just another crackpot. I mean what makes you so sure that he will try to make good on his threats. 

Jed nodded to Ron and Ron handed a folder to CJ. Fear gripped CJ's heart like a fist as she saw photo after photo of herself doing normal everyday things. 

"OK," she said softly and moved to sign the papers. She left the Oval Office with shoulders squared and her spine straight never letting on that those pictures had shaken her to the core. 

* * * * 

Abbey made her way purposefully down to CJ's office. She had barely returned from California before she headed down to see how her friend was coping with the threats. 

CJ looked up from the file she was reading to see Abbey standing in the doorway with a concerned look on her face. 

"The President told you." It was not a question. 

"Of course he told me, CJ. Did you think he wouldn't?" Abbey closed the door behind her and sat down on CJ's couch. "He's worried sick." 

"Don't let him get all worked up. It's not a big deal, really. I'm fine." 

"This is ME you're talking to, CJ, not one of the guys. You don't have to be macho." 

"I'm not, Abbey. I'm sure this will all blow over." 

"CJ, I've been there. I know what it's like to look at those pictures and know that while you were innocently going about your business somebody was watching you, stalking you." 

CJ's eyes filled with tears as she let her guard down just a bit for the first time. "I guess it did throw me. I know this is silly – they're just pictures – but I feel so violated." She sat down next to Abbey on the couch, knowing that if anyone would understand it would be her. 

"It's not silly," Abbey said, taking her hand. "I felt the same way." 

"It's just so creepy to think of someone following me and watching me like I'm being…" 

"Hunted?" 

"Yes." 

"I know that feeling. I was always looking over my shoulder, always assuming the footsteps behind me were his. It's OK to be scared, CJ. Hell, I spent months being scared to death. I damn near gave myself an ulcer. I just wanted you to know that I know exactly what you're going through and I'm here for you if you need to talk." 

"Thanks. I may take you up on that." 

"CJ, is the First Lady…" Leo poked his head in the office and stopped when he saw the person he was looking for. "Oh, here you are, Abbey." 

"Is something wrong, Leo?" Abbey knew something serious had to be up or Jed never would have sent Leo for her. 

"We have a bit of a problem. We've gotten intelligence stating that a terrorist attack against the United States is imminent. The President wants you to pack a few things for you and the kids and he's going to have you flown up to New Hampshire." 

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. If he doesn't know where the attack is happening, why do I have to leave?" 

"Because our information leaves us to believe that the White House may be a target. Abbey, please go, we…he wants you safe." 

"MAY be a target. I'm not going anywhere, Leo. I've told him a hundred times – I DON'T leave the White House, at least, not without him. I'll go pack up some things for the twins and I'll have Izzy bring them up to New Hampshire to stay with Liz, but I'm not going anywhere; and if Mr. Jed Bartlet has a problem with that he can come and find me in the residence." 


	25. Thou Shalt Not Covet

"OK, Aislinn, here is your blankie," Abbey tucked the worn receiving blanket under her daughter's arm and turned to her son. "And Nicholas, here is Tigger." She handed him the battered stuffed animal that was his security blanket. It had been with him since he was a newborn and the fur was balding in places and the ears were damp from him drooling on them while he sucked his thumb, but Nicholas did not sleep or go far without Tigger, just as Aislinn could not be parted from the faded, torn, pink and yellow blanket she had been wrapped up in when she came home from the hospital in her daddy's arms. 

The door to the nursery opened and Abbey turned to see the man she knew would be there. She knew he was ready to bluster away. 

"Abbey…" 

Abbey held up a hand to stop him. "Not in front of the kids, Jed," she said softly. 

Jed adhered to the rule he and Abbey had established a long time ago – never to argue about anything of importance or anything that might get heated and personal in front of the children. Of course that had left a broad spectrum of things that they WERE allowed to argue about in front of the kids. "OK." He tilted his head toward the hallway. Abbey nodded. 

"OK, kiddos, Mommy's got to go talk to Daddy for a minute, but I'll be right back in to help you finish packing up some toys to bring to your sister's house." She left the kids with Izzy and turned to follow Jed out into the hall. Abbey saw his chest puff up as he took in a breath to go on his tirade but she cut him off at the knees. 

"Before you even start, I'm not going anywhere." 

"You're going with the kids to New Hampshire where you'll be safe." It was said in his best lord and master voice and few would question his authority. Abbey was one of the few. 

"Jed, we discussed this after the whole disappearance of Air Force One. You told me you wouldn't fight me. We AGREED." 

"That was before – when I couldn't envision something like this happening again." 

"So you agreed that I could stay with you in Washington to placate me because you didn't think the situation would arise again?" 

"That about sums it up." 

"Well, too bad. It has come up and you're going to stick to your agreement." 

"Abbey, I'll be safe. I need you to be with the kids. They'll need their mother if anything…well, you know." 

"If anything happens to their FATHER. See, you're not so damn sure of your safety, are you? Look, Jed, Dolly Madison didn't let the Brits drive her out of the White House until it was practically burning down all around her. Jackie Kennedy didn't let the threat of nuclear war drive her out to Hyannisport during the Cuban missile crisis, and Abigail Bartlet is not going to let the chance of a terrorist attack send her scurrying for safety on a New Hampshire farm My place is by your side, Jed, leading our country through good times and bad. If, God forbid, anything happens to us, it happens to us together and Elizabeth will do a fine job of raising our children. We don't let the terrorists win, Jed, EVER." 

Unable to say anything, Jed simply stared into her determined green eyes in awe, yet again, of the strength in her, in her loyalty to him and to her country. He had met soldiers willing to die for their country, but here was this slip of a woman willing to risk her life for a moral principle. He didn't know when he had ever loved her more. "You have the heart of a lion, Abigail," he said huskily. He lifted her hand to his lips kissing the back of it, then turned when he heard the door to the nursery open and he saw Izzy come out pushing the twins' double wide stroller. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to fight you tooth and nail every time something like this happens." He turned away from her and bent down to say good-bye to his children. 

Abbey watched him kissing each child wondering if it might be the last time "I wouldn't have it any other way." 

Jed turned back to her seeing her standing there as straight as could be – her shoulders squared, her eyes filled with unshed tears, and he brought his fist up to touch his heart with a sadly sweet smile. 

"I love you, too" she mouthed back to him. 

* * * * 

Just days later with the terrorist crisis averted and the knowledge that they had been completely off base as to where the attack would take place, Jed sat back at his desk in the Oval Office. He had just met with Abdul Shareef, the man who was supposed to be their informant on terrorist activity, their friend. He supposed it was a good thing that he could still be shocked by perfidious behavior. It proved he had not become completely jaded in a world full of double deals and backstabbing. Still, it had been disconcerting at best to have the man who had planned the attack that had sent his children to New Hampshire for safety – the man who had attempted to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge – standing before him with an outstretched hand. He couldn't do it. He just could not bring himself to shake the hand of the monster that had killed so many, that had planned so many terrorists acts abroad and was now bringing those acts of violence to U.S soil. He could not shake the hand of a man he was going to kill. 

Kill. Just the word caused the bile to rise in his throat. If all went according to plan, he was going to order a hit on Abdul Shareef. He, Jed Bartlet – altar boy, theological student, teacher, husband and father – was most probably going to have a man executed. Leo had told him that there were no moral absolutes when he had been trying to justify the plan to do away with Shareef. Leo was wrong; there were moral absolutes and killing was one of them. He could tell from the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice that Leo thought he was being difficult, that he might even think he didn't trust the plan because he had lost his trust in Leo's advice. That wasn't the truth. He understood where Leo was coming from; he just no longer could go with the flow on blind trust. Oh, he knew the reasoning, understood the reasoning, he knew that he could justify himself to the American public, to the world, but could he justify it to himself? That was the big question. 

He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was almost time to start dressing and meet Abbey at Andrews to fly up to New York. Abbey, how in the hell could he face his wife? How could he tell her that she was married to a man who had ordered a man murdered in cold blood? He knew she knew that there was something up. For days he had been struggling with this decision and he had been tense, short tempered and snappish with everyone, including her. He had pushed her away, pushed away her questions, her offer of comfort or help. He didn't want to be helped. He wanted to be miserable. He deserved to be miserable. He didn't want to make the decision he was being forced to make. Finally, she had retreated with the kids to Maryland for the last couple of days. She said that it was because of the horrible head cold she had gotten, but he knew that she wanted to get away from the tension in the White House – the tension that he was bringing home every night. 

Abbey met Jed at the airport. She was all dressed for the theater in a sophisticated, low cut, black silk Oscar de la Renta gown. A diamond choker graced her slender neck and her hair was swept up into an elegant French twist. She had almost begged out of the trip and most probably would have if it weren't for the meeting that she had planned with Mrs. Janet Ritchie. For days she had battled a terrible cold and fever that Aislinn had graciously passed on to her as soon as she had come home from New Hampshire. Unfortunately, she had done the same thing to Nicholas and now it was his turn to be miserable and cranky. 

Once on the plane, Abbey could see that the tension that had wired Jed before she left for Maryland had only worsened, not gotten better. The lines in his forehead were drawn with worry; his eyes were cool and detached. Still, she tried to engage him in conversation about the kids and began to update him on the health of their son. 

"I checked him over before I left, and I didn't see any indication of an ear infection but his temp has been up and down all day. I did finally get it down again before I left, but I told Izzy to call me if he gets worse. Poor thing, he…." Abbey paused, seeing that Jed was a million miles away. "Jed, have you heard a word I just said?" 

"Yeah, Nicky's got an ear infection. Did you bring him to the pediatrician?" 

Abbey gripped his chin lightly and turned his face so she could look into his eyes. He'd been avoiding looking her in the eye all night. "You haven't heard a word I said. Jed, please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." 

"It's nothing." He shook out of her grasp and got to his feet to go and stare out the window. It was too dangerous to allow her to look into his eyes; he knew that if anyone were going to see the sickness in his soul it would be her. "It's just been a shitty week, Abbey. A real shitty week." 

* * * * 

"Ma'am," Abbey looked up from where she was sitting watching the play with Jed to see Lily. "The Ritchies just arrived." 

Abbey nodded and got to her feet. 

"She just went into the ladies room," Lily told her as they walked down the hall. "That's probably the best place to catch her without her husband." 

"All right, but you stand guard. Don't let anyone in." Abbey entered the ladies room. Janet Ritchie was standing at the mirror powdering her nose. She turned when she saw the door open and gave a start of surprise when she saw the First Lady. 

"Hello," Abbey smiled warmly. "I don't believe we've met. Abigail Bartlet." She put her hand out. 

The other woman stepped forward towering over Abbey. "Janet Ritchie. Nice to meet you, ma'am." Janet Ritchie was a large, rangy, big boned woman who wore her short dark hair teased in an old fashioned hair do that looked very much like a helmet. The garish orange gown she wore did nothing for a figure that had the unfortunate combination of not enough on top and too much in the hips. Big gaudy diamonds were clipped on her ears and around her throat in an ostentatious display of wealth that was nothing like the slender choker Abbey wore around her own neck. Her skin was tanned and weathered from too many years in the bright Florida sun; and with the way her eyes suspiciously tilted upwards, Abbey was quite certain that she'd had a few face-lifts in her time. She looked exactly like what she was – a Palm Beach matron. 

"Well, I better get back out there. My husband is waiting" 

"Hold on," Abbey said. "I'd like to talk to you for a moment." 

Janet watched with a frown as Abbey made a quick scan of the stalls to make sure they were alone. 

"Ma'am, I don't know what all this is about, but I really have to go. We're already late." 

"Well, you're going to be even later." Abbey came back to stand in front of her, sure now that they had the privacy needed. "I believe you have something that I would like back." 

"What could I possible have that you would want?" Janet began to squirm uncomfortably. Abbey couldn't believe that this mouse of a woman had been the one to wreak all this havoc. 

"Oh, I think you do. You gave Danny Concannon a picture and I want that picture back, along with the negatives." 

"I honestly do not know what you are talking about." She turned as if to leave. 

"Honestly?" Abbey seethed as she grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving. "I don't think there is an honest bone in your body. Danny told you the truth about what was happening in that picture and yet you refused to let him destroy it. You refused because you wanted to give it to a tabloid and let them misrepresent what was going on." 

"You're way off base here. If you did something that you don't want going public, don't blame ME." 

"Oh, I will blame you, and I will blame you loud and clear. I think you are well aware of how much Americans have come to despise that well-used "mean spirited" Republican mud slinging. Willie Horton doesn't fly anymore, does he? That's why the Republican Party threw its support behind your husband. He's the affable, not so bright, good ol' boy. We all know that's why Glenallen Walken didn't get the nomination. Intellectually, he's a much better match for Jed, but he doesn't have the boyish charm that our husbands have, does he? How far do you think that "aw shucks" charm will get your husband when it comes out that YOU gave that picture to the tabloids?" 

"You leave my husband out of this," Janet's dark eyes turned cold and Abbey could see the hatred emanating from the woman. "You don't have any proof that I have that picture and if you try to tell the press that we did, it you'll just end up looking like every other whiny liberal crying "no fair"." 

"Oh, but I do have the proof," Abbey said in a saccharin sweet voice. She pulled a small portfolio out of her purse and handed it to her. She watched Janet's face tighten as she saw all the pictures of her exchange with Danny 

"Concannon told you where he was meeting me," she said bitterly. "I should have known better than to go to someone in the Bartlets' back pocket." 

"No, Danny had no idea that he was being spied on." 

"Then…How?" 

"You don't mess around with my family or my friends, Janet. Why would you continue to press this even after finding out what really happened?" 

"I want my husband to be President." She exuded a clear, cold ambition that her husband was able to hide behind his genial personality. 

"So bad that you would spread lies and make up stories. So bad that you would try to ruin a decent man like Leo McGarry?" 

Janet looked down her nose at the smaller woman with distaste. She hated Abigail Bartlet and all that she represented. Hated that D.A.R. old money New England lineage, that snotty Harvard degree, that northeastern liberal intellectualism and that feminist rhetoric everyone let her get away with because she was the loving mother of five. But most of all she hated that her husband and all his cronies derided her out of one side of their mouth as a damn blue stocking and admired her out of the other side as a damn SEXY, blue stocking. They may not like her, she thought, but that didn't keep them from fantasizing about bedding her. "Don't act so holier than thou, Abigail. You did the same damn thing." 

"What?" 

"Hell, you wanted your husband to be President so badly you covered up the fact that he has M.S., so don't you dare stand there and lecture me." 

"I didn't do that because I wanted my husband to be President. I want my husband to be happy and I do what I can to support him in whatever that might be. Right now, it is being President. I NEVER lied to anyone about the M.S. and I never would. I told Jed's anesthesiologist it was up to him whether or not he went to the press with what he knew. I never asked anyone to cover up anything and I NEVER lied; so don't YOU dare compare me to the kind of low down move you were planning." 

"It's so easy for you, isn't it? You don't even really care about being the First Lady. You're a doctor. I was BORN to be First Lady. My father was the Governor of Florida and then a Senator; my husband married me because of who I was, because of how my name would open doors for him. This is our time and I'm going to do whatever it takes to ensure that we take the White House away from you bunch of intellectual snobs." 

"Feel free to bring it on, but I'll expect that picture and those negatives sent to the White House within the week. If I don't get them back, you can be sure that these pictures of you with Danny will be on the cover of every magazine in the country within the month; and not only will this not be your time THIS year, but it will NEVER be your time." 

"What makes you so sure that this isn't our time? Our husbands are almost neck and neck. You certainly don't have the election sewn up." 

"Of course we do," Abbey was brimming with bravado. "You're running against Jed Bartlet and Jed Bartlet doesn't lose. My husband is going to make sure that this election is about who is better qualified for the job and who has a better vision for the country. Yes, your husband can run as the 'ordinary, average American man' that he seems to enjoy proclaiming himself – none of us would dispute that he is exactly that and Jed isn't. Jed is not average or even ordinary. He is an extraordinary human being and he is a genius. I think the American people will realize that they are better served by electing the class president rather than the class clown." 

Abbey turned to leave but before going out the door she turned back to face the stunned woman. "By the way, I doubt you were at a D.N.C. fundraiser, where did you get that picture?" 

"You have a lot of nerve to ask me that," Janet said, regaining her wits. "You guys are supposed to be the geniuses, YOU figure it out." She swept by Abbey, wondering how long it would take for them to remember that Claire Walken's family had been lifelong Louisiana Democrats, as had Claire, before she jumped ship and became the third Mrs. Glenallen Walken. The powerful Speaker of the House was more ambitious and cutthroat than anyone Janet had ever known, and it was he who had found that old photo in his wife's album. He was a smart man, much smarter than Rob was, and he knew just how to get what he wanted. He wasn't going to take a chance and end up a loser in this election, which was just what would probably happen in a head to head competition with Jed Bartlet. He wasn't quite as smart as Jed and he certainly didn't come off as kind hearted and compassionate and there was nothing boyishly charming about him. However, if Rob won the election and picked him to be his Vice President, it could all be his in just a few short years. The problem was that he had to get Rob elected first. Janet thought, yet again, at what a shame it was that she was married to the wrong man. If she were married to Glenallen Walken, she had no doubt that she could make him President. 

* * * * 

Leo had been on his way to a phone call when he bumped into Rob Ritchie in the hall. Rob was impatiently waiting for his wife who seemed to be taking forever in the ladies room. They were exchanging guarded pleasantries when Abbey and Janet came out of the room at almost the same time. 

"Look who I bumped into in the ladies room." The warmth in Janet's tone did not extend to her eyes. "Abbey Bartlet, my husband, Rob Ritchie." 

"Hello, Governor." Abbey extended her hand. Rob took the soft hand in his and smiled down at the lovely petite woman before him. Abbey Bartlet's sophisticated, understated elegance was a sharp contrast to wife's pretentious display, causing her to look almost vulgar in comparison. 

"Ms. Bartlet," he drawled. Leo didn't miss the way the Governor's eyes swept admiringly from Abbey's face to her cleavage. He noticed from the coolness in her gaze that Janet Ritchie had not missed it either. It was always this way for Abbey with many of the stuffy old school politician's wives. They had always treated her coldly; and Leo knew that it was out of jealousy, because she was different from them. She looked different, dressed different, talked different and certainly acted different; sometimes it was as if she and many of her contemporaries were an entirely different species of female. 

"Well, come on, Rob, we really need to go sit down." She put her arm through Robs possessively. "We're very late." 

Rob gave his wife a sharp irritated look, then smiled back at Abbey. "Shore was nice to meet you, Ms. Bartlet. Give your husband my best." His eyes swept her form again and Abbey gave him a chilly look. 

"I certainly will, Governor." 

* * * * 

"You were gone for quite a while," Jed said as Abbey took her seat. "Everything all right?" 

"Just fine. Mrs. Ritchie and I had nice little conversation. Suffice it to say, the picture and negatives should be at the White House within a few days." 

Jed gave her an amused side-glance. "My wife, the enforcer." 

"And don't you forget that." 

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you again," there was a tap on Abbey's shoulder. 

"What is it, Lily?" 

"Your nanny is on the phone. There's a problem with Nicholas." 


	26. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Jed sat alone in the elegant hotel suite. He eyed the bottle of champagne chilling on ice and the flowers by the bed. He had meant this to be a romantic evening for him and Abbey – a reminder of past trips to New York City. Trips when they would fly out on the shuttle for a Broadway show, dinner and dancing at "The Rainbow Room" until all hours, and a knock your socks off intimate conclusion, away from the children and away from pagers. Now he was glad that he had convinced her to go ahead and return home to take care of Nicholas. Their son's fever had spiked dangerously high and he could see that Abbey was nervous about it. They both knew the boy was in good hands, but as Abbey always said, "no hands are as good as a parent's hands when a child is sick." And so they had agreed that she would fly home. There was a part of him who needed her more tonight than he had ever needed her before; but there was also a part, an even bigger part of himself, that needed her far, far away – where she would not be tainted by the stench of the crime that had been committed tonight. He remembered the horror in her eyes when she thought he had been responsible for the death of Marcus Hughes and that man had done unspeakably horrific things to her. He wasn't sure if he could stand to see any censure in her eyes. Not tonight. 

He had just said good-bye to her in the hall when Leo had approached him. He knew it was time to make the decision that had been plaguing him for days now. He knew what he had to do but a part of him was still fighting against doing it. He wanted to take Shareef down, wanted to bring him to justice; but he wanted to do it the American way – in a court of law. He knew that was no longer possible, but that didn't keep him from wishing that it could be so. He didn't like the idea of this vigilante justice at all – no matter how much the man deserved what he was getting. He knew that Leo had no such compunction. As his Chief of Staff had stood before him shooting down all his doubts, Jed had thought for one brief moment how much easier things would be if he were more like Leo. Decisions like these did not weigh Leo down. He didn't look at things through the past, the present and the future. Leo didn't get caught up in the quagmire of complex moral philosophy the way that he did. He didn't let things tear and claw and eat him away with guilt. Leo had always said that it wasn't easy to be Jed Bartlet and tonight Jed had to concur. "It sure as hell isn't easy to be me," he said to himself as he lit a cigarette. 

Leo thought his hesitation was due to his religion. In part it was. His religion taught, as most religions did, not to kill. He had joked with Abbey before about being a sinner and going to hell because he knew that his sins had been small, minor transgressions. He didn't steal, he didn't cheat on his wife, and he didn't kill. At least he hadn't as of yet. Things were going to get a lot murkier after tonight. But, it wasn't just the demands of his religion that was holding him back. Ordering the hit made him feel like he was wallowing in the mud with Mafia dons, drug kingpins, and terrorists. How could he look anyone in the eye and say that he was any better than the criminals in those evil groups were? How was he not lowering the standards of a great nation by committing this foul act? 

Leo had stood there waiting anxiously for the OK to move forward. Great men must make the difficult decisions and move on, Jed thought. Surprisingly enough, he couldn't remember who said that, but it did give him pause. He had to think like a leader now, not as just a man. He had to do what was best for his country. In his mind he could see it all so vividly. He could see the Golden Gate Bridge crashing down. He could see hundreds of cars plunging into San Francisco Bay. He could see terrified teenagers and babies in car seats. He could see the confusion on the faces of the elderly and the horror of young parents whose children were seat belted in the back. He could hear the screaming and the fear and even more than that he could hear their accusations. "You knew…you knew what this monster was planning and you let him go." It was that scenario that had made up his mind. "Take him." He had said it firmly. The decision was made; it had been his and his alone and he would take the blame for it when the time came. In the end he had done the only thing that he could do and still be able live with himself. He had sacrificed one life for lives of many. He had put his country above personal convictions because in the end Leo had been right. He had won. 

* * * * 

Abbey strode up the stairs of the Harmony Point farmhouse. It was late but the lights were on in the hall and in the nursery. She found Izzy in the nursery rocking Nicholas while one of his agents gazed down at him. Aislinn, it seemed, already had her father's ability to sleep through any chaos. 

"How is he?" Abbey asked as she walked through the door and knelt beside them. 

"He's so listless, ma'am." 

Abbey nodded. Nicholas had barely looked her way when she knelt at his side. "Hi, Nicky. Mommy's home. I hear you aren't feeling so good, sport." She placed a hand on her son's forehead and gave a sharp intake of breath when she felt how hot that he was. The fact that he was not sweating was not a good sign. 

"Take his pajamas off, Izzy. We don't want to hold in the heat. Just leave him in his diaper. I'm going to get my bag." 

Abbey might no longer have a medical license but that didn't mean that she had gotten rid of her bag; and it didn't mean that she wasn't going to use her knowledge when it was needed. She returned quickly and gently slipped her digital thermometer into Nicky's ear. Her eyes widened when she read the results – 105.3. She was a doctor – she had mothered three older children through childhood fevers. She knew they could spike higher than adults could and then come down just as fast, but just seeing that reading caused her heart to race. 

"Izzy, he's burning up," she said anxiously. "Go run me a tepid bath, not too cold." 

"Yes ma'am." Izzy left for the bathroom, while Abbey filled a dropper with baby Tylenol. She placed it between his lips and squirted gently. Nicholas gave a soft weak cry as he swallowed the liquid. 

"I know, baby, I know your throat hurts." Abbey began to examine his ears and his throat, and satisfied that he didn't have something like strep throat, or scarlet fever, she stripped his diaper off and brought him to the tub. 

As soon as his small hot body hit the cooler water, Nicholas began to cry. It was such a weak pitiful cry, nothing like his usual demanding bellow, and when his lips began to tremble and his teeth to chatter it pretty much broke Abbey's heart. 

"I'm sorry, Nicky," she choked out as she poured more of the water over him causing him more distress. "Mommy has to get this fever down." She turned to Izzy. "Go tell the agents that if I can't get his fever down in a half hour, I'm going to bring him in to the hospital." Izzy nodded and departed the room. 

When Abbey finished with the cooling bath, she laid Nicholas on a towel on the floor and began to give him an alcohol rubdown. The toddler weakly thrashed trying to get away from her. 

Izzy came back in with a fresh diaper and the thermometer. When she saw Abbey struggling, she knelt on the floor to hold Nicholas while Abbey rubbed him with the alcohol. 

"Poor little guy," Abbey said softly. "He has no idea why I'm doing this to him." 

"Do you think it's working?" 

"Hard to tell. He feels cooler, but that could be from the water." Abbey took the thermometer and placed it in the baby's ear. "102.8," she said. "It's still high but a more manageable high now. I don't thing we'll have to rush off to the hospital. I'm going to try to get him to go to sleep now." 

"Ma'am, do you realize that you're still in your dress?" 

Abbey glanced down at her silk de la Renta. It was pretty much ruined, covered with spots from the water, the alcohol and Nicky's drool. She hadn't even thought about the fact that she was still dressed for the theater. 

"Well, I guess this one won't go up for auction," she said philosophically. "I'm going to go throw my robe on and get him a bottle. I'll be right back." 

When she returned, Abbey shut all the lights off in the nursery save for a spinning night light that cast the moving figures of stars and moons over the walls and ceiling. She turned on Kenny Loggins' "Return to Pooh Corner" and sat with Nicholas in the rocking chair giving him a bottle. It had seemed like a long time since she'd had to hold a bottle for him, but he was just too weak to do so now. Both kids were still allowed one bottle before bed. It was a sort of security issue, and even though Nicholas had already had his earlier, Abbey knew that he would be more comforted and easier to get to sleep with the bottle. She traced her fingers gently over his little snub nose, the tiny dip between his lower lip and his chin that he had inherited from his father, and the little dimple in his right cheek that he had inherited from her. She stroked his silky blond eyebrows and pushed his hair back off his face, all the while singing along softly to the music that played on the CD. It didn't take long before he fell asleep, one arm over his Tigger and his mouth open and drooling on her breast. Abbey smiled down at him and still she rocked and sang. 

* * * * 

With Nicholas finally asleep in his crib with Tigger, Abbey made her way wearily to the bedroom her only thought to climb between the sheets and get some sleep. However, as she began to turn down the bed covers, insidious flashes of Marcus Hughes sneaking into her bedroom caused her head to whip around to make sure that he was not standing there menacingly in the doorway. Panic began to claw at her insides as she realized that this was the first time she had been here alone since the attack. Always before Jed had been with her, and just recently her parents had been spending time at the farm visiting after coming to help with the twins during the summit. Tonight was the first night she was truly on her own. Well, she wasn't completely on her own, Abbey told herself. Izzy was just down the hall and her agents were right outside. She was foolish to be worried. Still, all those people had been present before and Hughes had still found a way to get to her. 

"You're dead," Abbey said firmly to the ghost of the man who had haunted her for so many years. She wasn't sure whom she was trying to convince of that fact, him or her. She was angry with herself for allowing her rapist to still plague her with fear and even more angry that she was still susceptible to that feeling of helplessness and panic. "You're dead and you can't hurt me anymore." 

Still, despite the conviction in her voice Abbey couldn't help but peer out the door and down the hall looking for any movement. Feeling silly for worrying about a dead man, she turned back into the bedroom and made her way toward the bed. Suddenly, it did not seem quite so inviting, not when she was all nerves and jitters. Instead she ran herself a bath, poured herself a snifter of brandy and put a soothing Chopin CD on the stereo. A little while later with the baby monitor up on the sink, Abbey slipped her robe off and sank under the bubbles into the luxuriously warm water. She took a sip from the snifter she had set on the tubs edge then leaned back and closed her eyes allowing the combination of alcohol, warm silky water and soft classical piano music to work their magic and relieve the tension in her body. The combination worked just fine until she re-entered her bedroom wearing just a big fluffy towel wrapped under her arms. The CD had ended and the house was quiet save for the soft moan of the wind. She had just slipped into a simple sleeveless white cotton nightgown and began to draw her silk robe around her waist when a loud bang against the house caused her gasp with fright. Max eyed her with concern, his big head tilted to one side, as he tried to figure out why she had cried out. Abbey took comfort from the fact that her dog was not reacting to the noise as if it were an intruder. 

"Look at me jumping like that over a little wind." She tried to laugh off her unreasonable fear. "I'm just a big baby, aren't I, Max?" She bent to scratch behind the dog's ear. Max moaned with pleasure, and just as Abbey was thinking how foolish she was being reacting this way, there was another bang against the house and all the lights went out. In an instant, she was plunged into silence and darkness. Terror gripped her, as her first thought was that someone had cut off the power. Oh, God, how could this be happening again? Her second thought was that she had to make her way down the hall and check on the kids – she had to get to her children. It was a moonless night and she had to make her way gingerly toward the bed in the pitch black. She felt her way along the bed to the nightstand. Inside the nightstand was a lighter, and on the stand were stress relieving and sensual aromatherapy candles. It was a good thing that she loved the romance of candlelight she thought, as she lit one of the candles. Then, with candle in hand, she and Max made their way down the hall. The flickering light from the candle caused shadows to move along the walls and floors, several times generating a horrible suffocating panic in Abbey. She wished with all her heart that Jed were with her and her heart began beating erratically as she approached the nursery. She closed her eyes briefly as a flashback of what had happened just a few months before assailed her, of finding the dead agent on the floor and hearing her screaming children. Tonight, there was no screaming. 

Abbey quietly opened the door to the nursery and quickly moved to check on each of her children. Aislinn was stretched out on her back sound asleep. She had kicked all her covers off per usual. Abbey took a moment to pull the blanket back up over her daughter before moving to her son. Nicholas also slept, but his was a more restless, noisy sleep. Abbey had put him to bed in only a diaper and tank top in an attempt to keep his fever from spiking again. He lay on his belly with his knees drawn up and his little bum in the air. His thumb was in his mouth and he was so congested he had to breath through his mouth, around the thumb. Abbey could hear the wheezing in his chest with every breath that he took. She ran a gentle hand over his back. He was still hot, still feverish, but nothing like what she had come home to. She stood for a moment in the nursery, undecided as to whether to stay with the children, or find out what was going on. Finally, she decided to shut Max in the nursery with the kids and made her way downstairs with the aid of the candle. 

As soon as she opened the door to the porch, she felt the cold blast from the wind, heard the tree limbs creaking and moaning. She wrapped her robe more tightly around her as the wind whipped across the porch slamming the door behind her. "Is everything all right?" she asked the agents. 

"Yeah, the wind knocked the power out, that's all. I sent Michael to go and start the emergency generator, so you should have power back any second." 

"There's a storm coming over the bay," Abbey told him. She had grown up by the sea and knew how quickly these squalls could form. She turned from the moonless, starless, dark sky and gave the agent a long measured look. "You're sure it's the wind?" There was still a niggling of doubt inside her and she needed reassurance. 

"Yes, it's been knocking down tree branches against the house and it brought one of the wires down. 

Satisfied that nothing nefarious was going on, Abbey made her way back inside. She knew with the way that the adrenaline was rushing through her veins that sleep was out of the question. After making herself a cup of hot herbal tea, she stretched out on the couch and began to read. She must have been more tired than she thought for it didn't take long for her eyes to get heavy with sleep. 

She felt the sharp edge of a knife pierce the soft skin of her throat – the man's breath was hot and fetid against her cheek. Terror rose within her as she knew her fate was sealed. This evil beast of a man was going to rape her in front of her husband and then he was going to slice her throat. He could not allow her to live; she knew that with every fiber of being Jed wouldn't leave. She wanted him to leave the room; she couldn't stand for him to see what was going to happen to her, but he had refused. Hughes issued his disgusting order in her ear again, this time running his tongue wetly over her cheek. She swallowed against the nausea that was overtaking her. She saw the anger and the frustration and finally, the tears in her husband's eyes as she moved to do as she was instructed, knowing that when she did this she was going to throw up. She started to go down onto her knees… 

"Maaamaaa…Maaamaaa!!!" 

Abbey awoke with a start, her heart pounding terribly. For a moment she was disoriented, but after taking in the book that lay on her chest, she realized that it had all been a nightmare. She had just been reliving what had happened to her. As she began taking deep breaths to try to calm herself, she saw a bright flash of lightening. 

"Maaamaaa!" The cry had not been part of her nightmare. It was Nicholas and he was crying for her. Abbey raced up the stairs, a part of her still back in the frightening depths of her nightmare. She flung open the door to the nursery and found Izzy trying to calm both children. 

"I think the storm woke them," she told Abbey. 

Abbey nodded and felt Nicky's forehead. He was a little cooler and clammy to the touch, his hair damp against his forehead. His fever had broken and he had begun to sweat profusely. By the time Abbey had cleaned him up with a cool wet cloth, changed his diaper and his pajamas and given him some more cold medication, Aislinn was already starting to doze back off. The baby girl was still not fully recovered from her own bout with this virus. 

"I'm going to take him downstairs. Are you all set with Aislinn?" 

"We'll be fine, you go ahead." 

Nicholas had awakened fussy, cranky, and miserable. Nothing Abbey did seemed to please him. She walked with him in her arms, rocked and sang to him, gave him his favorite toys to hold but nothing seemed to help. She looked tiredly at the clock seeing that it was after 3 a.m. and she sighed with exhaustion knowing that her son was nowhere near to falling back asleep. She finally caved in and turned the TV on popping a copy of _The Jungle Book_ in the VCR. The movie seemed to do the trick. Nicholas curled up on her lap in the rocking chair and began to suck his thumb along with the sash of her bathrobe. His glazed blue eyes focused sleepily on the TV while Abbey's head fell back and her eyes closed tiredly as she absently stroked his hair. 

* * * * 

Jed sat alone at his desk on Air Force One. It was just after 6 a.m. and he knew the staff had been disgruntled at such an early departure. They'd given him a clear morning schedule so that he could do a little schmoozing in Manhattan if he were so inclined. It turned out that he was not. Maybe if Abbey had stayed he might have been more receptive to a late departure, but she hadn't, and now all that he wanted was to go home and be with his family. He wanted to just be Jed Bartlet, husband and father, and try to forget about the moral and legal ramifications of what he had done last night. Shareef was dead. He had ordered it and it was done and he was going to have to live with that for the rest of his life. Beating Marcus Hughes to within an inch of his life and holding a knife to his throat had never felt this wrong. He knew that he could have done it; he could have killed the man to protect his wife and his family, but somehow this planned and pre-meditated murder just seemed worse. He had not slept all night and his eyes were gritty with fatigue and his chest heavy from too many cigarettes. Over and over, all night long, every time he closed his eyes he saw the shock on Abdul Shareef's face as he was riddled with bullets. The man was evil. He was a killer and he deserved what had happened to him tonight. As a father Jed had to protect his family and the day that he had been inaugurated President of the United States every citizen had become his family – his responsibility. He had to make decisions – tough decisions on how best to shield them from evil. It was so easy when the decisions were black and white; it had always been so easy for him to distinguish between right and wrong, yet this situation was so different. How could something that was so absolutely wrong also have been the right thing to do? 

A part of him still felt dirty from his part in the assassination and the cover up. That part of him wanted to go home to Abbey and pour his heart out, to confess to her his sins and allow himself the comfort of being held in her arms. That was the selfish part of him. The other part never wanted her to find out about what he had done. Never wanted her find out that she was married to a killer, because right now that was exactly how he felt. He knew he wouldn't tell Abbey and it had nothing to do with security. It had to do with seeing a look of shock and disappointment and, yes, even disgust for him in her eyes. It had to do with her turning away from him and knowing that he was no longer the same man she had married. And most of all, it had to do with the unselfish part of him that wanted to keep her clean and unsullied and untouched by all of this. When the news leaked, as he was sure it someday would, he didn't want anyone to be able to be able to point a finger at Abbey and say that she knew and covered it up. She had lost her medical license because of just such a situation and he would never put her through something like that again. EVER. 

"Sir?" Ron poked his head in. "We're landing in about fifteen minutes. Have you decided yet if you will be going to Maryland or the White House?" 

Jed took a deep breath, as the very real need to be comforted waged war with his need to push away and hide. "I'm going to Maryland, Ron." 


	27. Thou Shalt Not Covet

Abbey awoke slowly to the realization that it was finally morning. Something felt heavy on her chest and she could feel soft warm breath against her neck. For a moment she thought it was Jed, but hearing a soft cough reminded her of coming downstairs with her sick son deep in the stormy night. It was Nicholas who lay sleeping on her chest, not her husband. They had both evidently fallen asleep in the rocking recliner while watching _The Jungle Book_. Abbey pressed her lips to Nicky's forehead gratified to feel the coolness there. At the touch of his mother's lips, Nicholas snuggled more closely into her and wrapped an arm around her neck. Abbey just sat holding his warm little body to hers, enjoying this peaceful quiet time while she watched the sun rise over Chesapeake Bay. 

When she finally felt awake enough to get up and start the day, she rose slowly to her feet and laid her son on the couch. Nicholas stirred and blinked his sleepy blue eyes. 

"Mama?" he whimpered softly, while reaching up to stay clutched to her. 

"It's okay, baby, just go back to sleep." Abbey knelt beside the couch and pulled his T-shirt down over his exposed belly. Nicholas promptly stuck his thumb back in his mouth and rolled over onto his belly and into his favorite sleeping position, knees pulled up and his butt in the air. Abbey smiled and gave his well-padded diapered rear a tap before beginning to run her hand in the circular patterns on his back that were usually guaranteed to soothe him back to sleep. When she was satisfied that he wouldn't re-awaken, she propped pillows all around him so that he wouldn't fall off the couch and placed her grandmother's quilt over him. She stood for a few more moments then made her way to the bathroom twisting her stiff neck from side to side and rotating her sore shoulder. Her right arm was still fairly numb from having been wrapped around Nicholas most of the night and she began to flex her fingers to get the feeling back. 

Once in the bathroom she eyed herself critically in the mirror. "You look like hell, Abigail," she told her exhausted looking reflection. She yawned tiredly, rubbed her eyes and began brushing her hair before carelessly twisting it up into a clip. After a few splashes of icy cold water on her face and a good brush of her teeth, she felt decidedly more human and made her way to the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast. 

* * * * 

Jed climbed wearily up the porch stairs. His steps were as heavy as the gloom that had settled over him. As he made his way to the kitchen, he could smell the fresh coffee brewing and he could hear Abbey humming and singing along to the radio that was playing softly. Already he could feel a bit of the tension leaving his body and the tight control that he'd had on his emotions start to loosen. He stood quietly for a long while simply watching her. It was all so normal – a morning like any other; as if what had happened last night had never occurred. She was at the counter making blueberry muffins – barefoot and wearing a cream colored silky bathrobe. Her bright auburn hair was pulled loosely up into a clip and was gleaming like copper in the bright morning sunshine. He ached to reach out and touch her, to run his fingers through the warm silky strands and kiss the delicate nape of her neck that her upswept hair exposed. But, he didn't, he couldn't. 

As Abbey placed the muffins in the oven, she had the unsettling feeling that she was being watched – a tingling down her spine. It had always been this way between her and Jed. Tiny jolts of electricity seemed to pulse between them when they were in the same room and so she was not surprised when she turned to see him standing in the archway between the hall and the kitchen. She turned to face him with a welcoming smile that faded quickly from her lips as she took in the haggard look on his face, the pain in his eyes. 

She stood transfixed, unable to move. "Jed, my God, what's wrong." 

The compassion and concern on her face and in her voice were too much. Jed crossed over to her his eyes never leaving hers. When he finally reached her, his hands cupped her face and he stared deeply into her beautiful eyes as if he could absorb all that she was – all that was good and pure and decent in the world. His thumbs molded her cheekbones and her lips. 

"Abbey…" Her name crossed his lips as a pain filled moan and he kissed her then, hard and passionate his tongue invading her mouth with desperation. She tasted so good, a combination of minty toothpaste and coffee. Abbey felt the need within him and knew instinctively that he was seeking comfort. She held him tightly to her, allowing him to possess her until his kiss began to gentle and seek a response from her. She pulled back slowly, weakly, her legs still shaking with the intensity of his kiss and the force of his need. 

"Jed?" She gazed up at him with confusion. 

"I had to do it, Abbey." He was still breathing heavy, his voice filled with pain. "I didn't have any other choice." 

"What? What did you have to do, baby?" She gently stroked a hand over his cheek. 

He wanted to tell her. He wanted so badly to unburden himself, but he just couldn't do it. He wouldn't be able to stand it if she turned away from him. "I can't tell you. It's really hard for me to say that to you and I'm sorry, Abbey, but I just can't." His eyes pleaded with her to understand and she did understand. She knew there were times when he couldn't tell her things and times that his job forced secrecy, but somehow she knew deep down inside that this was something big. He had come to her with the weight of the world on his shoulders and he need comfort not questions. As she looked steadily into his tortured eyes, she also knew, without a doubt, that he had done the right thing. Jed was the most morally strong man she had ever known. He was completely sure of who he was and what his values were, and he lived his life to the best of his ability by those guiding principles. It was a strength that had won him an election and had also won him many enemies. 

"It's okay. Whatever happened, I'm sure you did the right the thing." 

Her eyes were so damned earnest, so full of her trust and belief in him. "How do you know?" he choked. 

Abbey lifted her other hand to his cheek so that she held his face in her palms. "Because I know you." They were four simple, yet emotion packed, words that Jed needed to hear at that moment, more than anything. 

"I don't want to talk about it. I just want to hold you. Please, Abbey, just let me hold you." He pulled her into his arms crushing her to him. His hands moved up her back and dislodged her hair clip so he could plunge his fingers through her hair. He grabbed handfuls of her silken tresses and brought them to his nose inhaling deeply. The scent of her was so familiar, so clean and fresh, honeysuckle, lily of the valley, and Abbey. With his fingers still tangled up in her hair, he pulled her head back from his shoulder and covered her lips with his. He felt Abbey give a soft gasp against his lips at the sheer force of his need, felt her fingers dig into his shoulders, and all the tension and pain and frustration started to dissipate as she began to respond to his kiss. 

He hadn't planned to do this. He had come home to Abbey – home to his safe harbor where he knew he would be loved and accepted. He had simply meant to hold her but, as always, his body had a different idea of what exactly comfort meant. He hadn't planned on Abbey's immediate ardent response to him, was unaware of the demons she had spent the night slaying and the need to feel his strength and the safety that she felt in his arms. 

Jed's kiss deepened and he grabbed her hips, grinding his erection into her. Abbey moaned against his lips, her hands sliding down from his waist to his rear pulling him even closer and harder against her. Jed gave a quick fleeting thought to their bedroom and with a groan he broke free of her. It was too damn far. One swipe of his hand cleared the kitchen table of magazines and place settings and sent condiments crashing to the floor. He turned to Abbey. She had slipped off her silky bathrobe and was now standing before him wearing just the simple white cotton and lace nightgown. It was old fashioned and innocent looking and yet on her it was sexy as hell. Her lips were swollen from his kisses and she was breathing heavy with desire causing her breasts to rise and fall enticingly. Her nipples formed hard little peaks jutting out against the fabric. He watched her run her tongue over her bottom lip as she reached out to grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him to her. This time she was the aggressor. She locked her mouth over his, her tongue teasing his while she worked at his belt and tugged his pants down. He felt her reach into his boxers and he gave a deep groan. His fingers made their way up her thighs and hooked into each side of her bikini panties before pulling them down. With those finally discarded, he yanked her nightgown up over her hips. 

Abbey started to unbutton his shirt, but the need to touch his flesh and touch it that instant was too much for her to finish the job. With the top few buttons undone she slid her hands inside and flattened her palms over his warm chest and felt his heart pounding like a drum against them. She began to drag her fingers through his crisp chest hair but before she could follow the line down to where it disappeared into his boxers, Jed lifted her up onto the table and dragged her legs around his waist. Not even bothering to remove his underwear, he slipped himself through the slit and slid into her in one swift, sure move. That was all it took to send them careening into a maelstrom of passion. Both still half clothed, their lovemaking was all about hunger and need and the giving and receiving of the kind of comfort they could only get from each other. 

"Where the hell is Max?" Jed asked when it was over and they both lay sprawled over the kitchen table satiated and breathing heavy. He was still inside Abbey, stroking her hair back from her face, enjoying the quivering remnants of her orgasm. 

"What?" she asked, still fairly dazed from what they had just done on the table where just a few minutes before she had been preparing breakfast. 

"Max. He should have been carrying on like Cujo when I came through that door. I didn't hear one growl. Some guard dog he is. Anyone could have…" 

"It's not his fault," she said sheepishly. "I shut him in the nursery with Aislinn last night." 

"What? Why?" 

"Well, I had Nicholas safely down here with me and I felt better leaving him to protect her upstairs." 

"Did something happen? Is there something you aren't telling me?" 

"No, Jed, nothing happened. Nothing except me having a pretty vivid imagination." 

"Oh, God, I didn't even think. It was the first time since…" 

"Yeah, since." 

He carefully regarded her pale face for a moment. "So that's what these are all about." He ran a finger over the faint purplish-gray shadows that lay beneath her eyes. "I thought it was because you'd been up all night with Nicholas." 

"I was, but that was only part of it…" 

"Mama." Both Jed and Abbey heard the sleepy call of her name and froze for a moment before breaking apart like two guilty teens caught going at it on the couch. Abbey jumped off the kitchen table smoothing her nightgown back down over her thighs and turned to see her son standing in the doorway wearing only his T-shirt and diaper rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

"Hey, buddy, you're up." She tried to sound bright and cheerful as she made her way over to him, but Jed heard the shakiness in her voice. It had been a very close call. Abbey kissed him good morning, but before she could lift him into her arms, he saw Jed. 

"Dadda!" he called out and began to toddle to him. Facing away from his son for a moment, Jed quickly slipped himself back inside his boxers and turned to greet him. 

"Hey, partner," he grinned. 

"Up, up." Nicky lifted his arms up and bounced on his toes wanting Jed to pick him up. Jed complied, lifting the boy up into his arms. "Me pay." 

"What?" Jed frowned. 

"Me pay." He squirmed in Jed's arms and pointed at the kitchen table. 

"Oh God," Abbey groaned. "He thinks we were PLAYING on the kitchen table." 

"Weren't we?" 

"JED!" 

"Come on, Abs, just be thankful that he doesn't know what we were really doing up there. I mean, at least it wasn't like that time the girls' skating party was cancelled and all three of them found us doing the wild thing in front of the living room fireplace. Zoey thought I was hurting you; Ellie wouldn't look me in the eye for a month and Liz..." 

"Just kept shaking her head at us and saying 'gross'. Oh, I remember that day quite well. You don't think he saw anything, do you?" 

"No, and even if he did, he wouldn't know what we were doing. He's one. Why didn't you tell me he was sleeping down here?" 

"Because you starting kissing me and I forgot all about it." 

"Me pay." Nicholas tried to get back down. 

"No way, Nicky boy," Jed said, putting him in his booster seat. "It's time for breakfast. Only Mommy and Daddy get to play on the kitchen table." He sent a sly grin Abbey's way as she bent to take the muffins out of the oven. 

A half-hour later Abbey sat with her chin propped in her hands while she watched her husband. He was laughing and munching away on warm buttered blueberry muffins while he helped Aislinn with her oatmeal and wiped Nicky's runny nose with a napkin. How different he was from the haunted man who stood in this kitchen barely an hour ago filled with gloom and despair – the man who had taken her with such quiet desperation. 

She smiled as she watched Aislinn feed him a spoonful of her oatmeal, watched Jed savor it and open his mouth for another bite. She had, at times, heard Aislinn and Nicholas referred to as a "mistake", a word she loathed with all her being. She preferred to think of them as an unexpected gift. However, if they wanted to refer to them that way, she would have to say they were the best mistake she had ever made in her life. Being with the children lifted Jed's spirits quicker and easier than anything else could. She loved to watch the mantle of weariness and tension leave him as soon as he was in their presence. The selfless act of loving and caring for a child tended to bring one quickly out of whatever selfish misery they might be in at the moment. Today was not any different and whatever problem had been weighing him down this morning had obviously been put into prospective as he ate breakfast with his family. 

"Abbey, you're not eating," Jed observed, while filling Nicky's empty sippie cup with milk. 

"I'm just enjoying watching you and the kids." 

Jed handed his son the cup then turned to look at his wife. He could see the curiosity in her eyes. He knew she wanted to know what had happened last night to make him so crazy. He also knew that she wouldn't ask him again. Had this been personal, she never would have let him close off to her like he had; however, when it came to the national security part of his work, she didn't push and she didn't nag. She was simply there if he needed to talk. He wondered if someday down the road he would have to tell her about what he had done and wondered, if when she knew, she would still consider him to be one of the 'good guys'. More than anything he needed her to still believe that of him. He needed to believe that of himself. 

* * * * 

Leo knocked on the front door and stood nervously readjusting his weight from foot to foot. He had put this moment off for far too long. He'd avoided her whenever possible, ignored her phone calls, but he couldn't avoid her forever; and if he truly wanted to move forward, he had to cross this last one last hurdle. The door swung open and he gave a small start. 

"Leo?" Abbey stood before him in an old pair of faded jeans and a scoop necked forest green sweater that buttoned up the front and clung to her every curve. It didn't help that Nicholas was on her hip, his little hand pulling her sweater down even lower to reveal more of her breast and a hint of her lacy pink bra, as he struggled to stay in his mother's almost slack arms. 

Abbey noticed where Leo's gaze fell and she pulled Nicky's hand off her sweater, blushing with embarrassment. Trying to feign a casualness she didn't feel, she looked him right in the eye." Did you come here to see Jed?" 

"No, Abbey. I came here to see you. I think it's time that we talk." 


	28. Thou Shalt Not Covet

He could see that he had interrupted playtime. Nicholas wore a smock as covered in bright paint as his hands were and Abbey had a smudge of red paint on her chin put there, no doubt, by her son. He also knew that he had surprised her, but she covered it well and stepped aside to allow him entry into her home. 

Once inside Abbey whirled around on him. "Why haven't you returned any of my calls?" she asked in that very forthright, very Abbey manner. Her gaze was steady and unyielding and left him no place to hide. Standing there before him barefoot, with pink painted toes and a baby on her hip, her small curvaceous figure outlined by the form fitting jeans and sweater and her auburn hair tumbling to her shoulders in soft curls, she was everything he could ever want in a woman – a combination of fire and femininity that any man would find hard to resist, and he wasn't just any man. He was the man who had been fantasizing about her for thirty years. 

"I…I'm sorry. I've just been really busy," he looked down at the floor. "No, that's a lie. No more lies. I have been busy but I didn't return your calls because I wasn't ready to have this conversation." 

"And you are now?" 

"No. But I'll never be ready for it, so I better get it over with. I have to make some decisions in my life and I need to talk to you before I make them." 

A loud sneeze from Nicholas reminded Abbey of why she was in the kitchen in the first place. 

"I have to give him his cold medicine, then I'll bring him in to Jed and we can talk privately." 

"Will the President be okay with that?" 

"Probably not," Abbey admitted as she set Nicholas on the counter so she could fill the dropper with medicine. "But he says he wants to get past this, so he's going to have to deal." She started to slip the eyedropper between Nicky's lips but the baby had become savvy in the days of his illness and pursed his lips against the medicine turning his face from side to side. Abbey began to cajole him while trying to hold his head firmly. Leo stepped forward to help her hold the boy still and when he did so his arm brushed hers. Abbey didn't seem to notice, but Leo gave a small start and stepped away from her. He wondered how he'd ever thought he could make his feelings for this woman go away. He wanted Abbey and he would probably want her for the rest of his life. 

While she may not have noticed the touch, Abbey did notice the way Leo stepped away from her and was carefully trying not to touch her while he held Nicholas. Now that she was aware of his feelings, she wondered how she had been so blind for all these years. It was so easy to see the blatant longing in his face and the way he would avert his eyes when she caught him looking at her. It still felt strange and disconcerting to think that Leo was sexually attracted to her. It changed everything about their relationship. Leo had always been like a big brother to her – someone she could turn to and rely on and confide in and it was terrible to feel that she had lost that. She turned her sad eyes his way and Leo caught the pity in their depths. He let go of Nicholas and turned away from her with a scowl. 

"Don't pity me, Abbey," he snapped sharply. "I can't take pity from you." 

"I didn't… I don't…" Abbey stuttered at a loss. 

"Yes, you do. You're full of pity for me. I'm the poor sap who has been panting and pining for you for almost my entire adult life. How much more pathetic could I be?" 

"Leo, I don't know what to say to you. I am sorry, especially if I ever did anything to…you know, make you feel the way that you do. I never meant…" 

"Don't," Leo ground out, grabbing her wrist. "Don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything to make me feel this way except be yourself. I was lost the moment you stepped off that Greyhound bus at South Station. It was nothing you did; it was simply being who you are." 

Abbey finished drying Nicky's now clean hands and slid him back onto her hip. "Let's finish this conversation in the library." She paused at the refrigerator to hang one of Nicky's finger-painting masterpieces on a magnet then made her way towards the porch with Leo following. As he rounded the corner, the first thing Leo noticed on the porch were all the toys. Dolls and trucks and stuffed animals lay all over the blankets spread out on the floor. Two easels had been set up and the paper on them was smeared with bright paint. It was quite obvious the family had been playing and painting together. But, Aislinn was not using her easel to paint. Instead, she was standing before her father wearing one of his old T-shirts as a smock to cover her clothes and she was giggling and carefully decorating Jed's face with paint. Jed had his chin lifted and was holding his head still for her, so he heard but did not see Abbey's entrance. 

"Hey Abs, I know we thought we had a little Georgia O'Keefe on our hands, but it looks more like Aislinn here is going to be geared toward being a Hollywood make up artist." 

Aislinn's giggle turned into a full-fledged belly laugh as she dabbed some bright orange paint on her dad's nose. She has his laugh, Leo thought with a pang. He continued to watch father and daughter somewhat wistfully until Jed turned his painted face in their direction. 

"You look like something out of _Braveheart_ ," Abbey laughed as she set Nicholas down on the floor to rejoin in the fun. 

Jed's laughter faded when he saw Leo. His immediate thought was that something had gone wrong with the Shareef assassination. 

"Leo, what's up? Is there a problem?" He started to get to his feet. 

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Stay and play with your kids." 

"He came here to see me, Jed, not you." Abbey held her breath awaiting her husband's reaction. How he dealt with this would probably determine Leo's fate in his administration and in his circle of friends. She saw the emotions warring on his face – saw him struggling not to lash out. 

"I think he can say what he needs to say in front of me," Jed said flatly. 

"I could," Leo said, "but I'd rather not. The three of us can talk later, but right now I have some apologizing and explaining to do and I'd like to do that in private, if it's all right with you." 

Jed eyed his friend for a long moment. The fact that Leo was asking his permission meant a lot to him. He also knew that Abbey had been trying to have this talk with him for over a week now and that he had been avoiding her. It was probably not a coincidence that Leo had chosen to come to their home while both were there so there could never be a question of impropriety or doing something behind his back. 

Abbey was giving him the evil eye, just daring him to make an ass of himself and say he wouldn't allow it. No, saying something like that would definitely not go over well with his very independent wife. Finally, he acquiesced. 

"I trust Abbey," he said grudgingly. Leo noticed that he didn't say that he trusted him. He supposed it was going to take him a hell of a long time to win back Jed's trust. 

With Aislinn sitting on his lap, Jed watched the two of them walk away with little pinpricks of jealousy stabbing at him. He didn't know why he was feeling this way. He did trust his wife. He knew that Abbey was not attracted to Leo, sexually or otherwise. He knew that Leo would not jeopardize things by coming on to her, yet it was still there. Just the idea of another man telling his wife that he loved her and was attracted to her made him crazy. It had always been this way with Abbey. He had never really had a jealous day in his life until he met her. With the kind of upbringing he'd had, one would think that he would have been jealous of kids with more demonstrative and loving parents, but really, in his experience, most parents of the wealthy, privileged boys at his school were exactly like his own. And, as far as members of the opposite sex went, he'd dated girls from local private girls schools, but he'd never felt any kind of gut twisting jealousy when he saw them dance with other boys. No – gut-twisting jealousy had only come after Abbey. As he sat stroking his daughter's hair, twisting the wispy strands around his finger his mind began to wander down memory lane to the first time he had experienced jealousy in its most ugly form. He and Abbey had only been dating a couple months before being separated for the whole summer. Both were anxious for the day they would reunite in the fall back at school and pick up where they had left off. It had been a summer of yearning for her and missing her, of spending hours every night pouring out his heart to her in his love letters. He had lived for the moment the mail would arrive delivering her own heartfelt declarations of love and longing. Still, once they had been reunited, he had been just a tad unsure of himself. Love like what he was sharing with Abbey was completely alien to him and deep inside he had to wonder if one day she would realize that he was not worthy of her love. All his life his parents had made him feel that way, and the scars from his childhood were still far from being healed. Letting go of those feelings was not easy. It had all come to a head one night at a fall harvest dance that he and Abbey were attending with Millie and her new boyfriend, Joe. Millie had sprained her ankle and was not up to dancing and it usually took a few dances before Abbey could cajole him out onto the floor. So, while Abbey and Joe hit the dance floor, he and Millie went to get the drinks. He had been fine until the dance ended and he saw Ron Ehrlich walk over to Abbey. He expected her to send him on his way but she didn't. When she smiled at Ron and took his hand, he nearly dropped the drinks he held. He was not a violent person, had never felt the urge to fight, well, except for the time Ron had called Abbey a cocktease in his presence; but, at that moment, watching the two of them dancing together, the unfamiliar rage of jealousy rose within him. It was a sick feeling, a violent feeling and he clenched his fists at the urge he had to flatten Ron out on the dance floor. Watching them, he thought about the things they must have done while they were dating, the kissing, the touching… By the time the song finished and Abbey approached him, he had worked himself up into quite a temper. 

_(South Bend, Indiana)_

"Put the drinks down, Jed," Abbey said. "You want to dance?" 

"No, I want to leave." He grabbed her elbow. 

Abbey knew he had seen her dancing with Ron. A wicked part of her had thrilled at the idea of making him jealous. All summer she had gotten letters proclaiming how much he loved her and missed her, yet in person he was so contained. She needed to know. Needed to know exactly how he felt about her. 

He waited until they were outside and then he turned on her. "What the hell was that all about, Abbey?" 

"What was what all about? I was dancing with an old friend." 

"Not and old FRIEND, an old BOYFRIEND. You knew exactly what you were doing. You wanted me to be jealous." 

"So, maybe I did," she flashed angrily. 

"Why?" He asked with a puzzled frown. "Why would deliberately want to hurt me?" 

Abbey softened. She hadn't thought about it as hurting him, just spurring him on. "I'm sorry, Jed. I didn't mean to hurt you. I know it was childish and immature, but I just…I just wanted to know…" 

"Wanted to know what?" 

"How you really feel about me." 

"Haven't I told you over and over how much I love you." 

"In your LETTERS. Since I've been back I just get a perfunctory 'I love you ' with my kiss goodnight. Where is the poet from my letters?" 

"It's easier for me to write how I feel than it is to say it. You don't know how hard it is for me to even give the perfunctory 'I love you'." 

"Is it so hard to love me?" Her eyes were filled with hurt and Jed knew he couldn't let her believe that it had anything to do with a lack in her. 

"No, it's almost too easy for me to love you. I've never felt this way before and every time I tell you that I love you I'm afraid that it won't be enough, afraid that you will reject my love." 

"Jed, how can you believe that?" She ran her hand over his cheek. "I've never felt this way before either. You've become the center of everything for me." 

"It's not you, Abbey. It's just that all my life I've tried to be the person my parents wanted me to be, hoping that it would make them love me, but they never needed my love. They never wanted my love." 

Abbey's heart ached for him and with tears filling her eyes she wrapped her arms around his waist and tucked her head under his chin. "I need your love, Jed," she whispered against his chest. "I want your love." 

Jed pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. "Do you really want to know how I feel? How I felt tonight watching you in Ron's arms? I felt like I wanted to slam my fist into his grinning face and tell him never to put his filthy paws on you again. I wanted to haul you up against me and kiss you senseless in front of everyone there, especially Ehrlich, and show them all that you are MINE." he said it fiercely, possessively. Abbey knew she should set him straight about that male dominant response, but the truth was that it sent tiny ripples of excitement throughout her body. This was her first truly adult relationship. What she'd had with Ron now seemed so childish compared to what she and Jed shared. Having a man like Jed, who was so crazy in love with her, was a very heady experience. "I suppose I should call you a sexist pig, for that statement." 

"Why don't you?" 

"Because I happen to like the idea of being your woman. I like that it drives you nuts when I dance with another guy and I love that you feel so strongly." 

"Oh, I feel strongly all right. I don't want any man to ever touch you the way I do. I want to be everything to you: your best friend, your boyfriend… your lover." Jed slanted his mouth over Abbey's and pressed her back into the brick building. Abbey's pulse began to race at his words and the pressure of his lips on hers. His lover. Oh God, for the first time in her young life she wanted to throw all caution to the wind and give in to the demands of her body. Never in any dating she had done had she ever wanted a man the way that she wanted Jed right now. His arousal was growing harder against her belly and a shot of erotic excitement went through her at the thought of what it might be like to make love with him. Lover – it was such a grown up word, so much more adult than boyfriend was. They had only been dating a few months, but when she felt his hand move up to cover her breast and felt him growing even harder against her, any resolve she had about waiting went flying out the door. 

"Abbey, please?" Jed groaned as he began to massage her breast over her blouse. 

Abbeys breath was coming in short soft sighs and her fingers tangled in his hair. "Yes Jed," her voice caught with emotion and passion. "I want to be your lover." Jed's kiss deepened, his body unconsciously rubbed against her in an imitation of the actual act of lovemaking. 

_(Present)_

The only thing that had stopped them was Millie coming out to see if they were coming back inside. He had been embarrassed and ashamed to have gotten so carried away. He had asked Abbey to make love with him yet where exactly would they have done it? He didn't even have a car on campus. He wanted his first time with Abbey to be special, not off in the bushes somewhere. She deserved better than that. And, that wasn't even the worst of it. He had asked her to become his lover and he wasn't even prepared to protect her. The next day he had gone out and, though embarrassed, he had purchased his first box of condoms so he would be ready just in case. How ironic that the first time they made love he didn't have his wallet with him and Elizabeth had been conceived. What was truly amazing was that all these years later, five children later, he still could feel the same intensity of jealousy that he had felt when he was twenty-one years old. In fact, if possible, the intensity was even stronger now when he had so much more to lose. It took a supreme amount of effort for him to stay and help his children finger paint and not follow Leo and Abbey, not be a part of their conversation. He figured that if he told himself that he was a mature adult who could handle this enough times, it might actually become so. 

* * * * 

Leo followed Abbey down the hall and into the library, his eyes resting on the graceful swing of her hips. He wondered how in the hell he was going to convince her that he was working through his feelings for her when they were obviously just as strong as ever. No woman, not Jenny nor any of the bimbos he had slept with when he was drinking, had ever affected him the way that Abbey did. She had a piece of his heart and she always would – nothing would ever change that. 

Once in the library they sat across from each other, neither quite knowing what to say. Finally, Leo bit the bullet. "Abbey, before we start I just want to apologize for this whole mess. I never thought…" 

"Leo, don't," Abbey cut him off. "You've apologized enough for that night. I admit that when you came to me the next day, I wasn't sure if you were really sorry for kissing me or if you were just trying to get me not to tell Jed. But, after rehab, when you came back from A.A. and asked for my forgiveness I knew you were really sorry and that you were trying to make amends for everything you had done. I accepted your apology. I forgave you. I'm not going to make you apologize for that mistake for the rest of your life. It's over." 

"But is it? Is it really over? 

"It has to be, Leo," Abbey said sadly. "We all need to move forward, not look to the past." 

"But it isn't in the past, Abbey. That's the biggest problem. It's come back to hurt us and I never wanted you to be hurt by any of it. I guess I'm really apologizing for making you promise not to tell Jed, even though I knew that if he ever found out it would be worse for you. I should have gone to him after A.A. and made my peace with him as well. I should have let you off the hook." 

"Maybe you should have, but we can't change the past, all we…" 

"He went to you first with that picture," Leo interrupted. "I can't imagine what he must have been like, what his reaction was to you." 

"Leo, are you trying to ask if he hurt me?" 

"Well…I…" he began to stutter inanely. 

"He didn't hurt me," Abbey said, gently. "You should know Jed better than that. As much as he might have wanted to, he'd never lift a finger to me. He was furious and he was hurt and he couldn't even look at me. He thought I had cheated on him with you." 

"Oh, Abbey," he said softly. He closed his eyes at the image of a raging Jed confronting her. "I'm so sor…" 

"Don't say it again, Leo. As I said, you know Jed. Yes, he was angry and bitter, but he was also more hurt than I had ever seen him in my life. It killed me seeing him in pain like that and I couldn't let him think that I had betrayed him." 

"I don't blame you for telling him, Abbey. Of course you had to tell him what really happened. As I said, I should never have made you keep a secret like that from him." 

"Leo, I may have let you sway my thought process, but in the end, it was my decision not to tell Jed. I didn't want him to know what you had done. I didn't want to hurt him." 

Leo nodded and looked down at the deep swirls of red and green and gold in the oriental carpet beneath his feet. He couldn't look at her when he said this. "I'm assuming that Jed told you how I felt… and how I feel about you." 

"Yeah," she whispered. "It was a bit of a shock." 

"It couldn't have been too shocking. That night that I kissed you, I told you exactly how I felt. When I was pleading with you to have sex with me, I told you that I had wanted you for as long as I could remember. 

Abbey nodded. Those had been his exact words. "Leo, you were drunk and you were begging me to have sex with you. I figured it was just a line to get me to sleep with you. I didn't think you really meant it." 

"Oh, I meant it all right. You were and are everything I could ever want in a woman." 

"Leo." Abbey got to her feet and began to walk along the wall of bookshelves. She was very uncomfortable with where this conversation was leading. 

"I just… I just finally need you to know, Abbey, what it's been like for me all these years. Do you know what a living hell it has been wanting someone I know that I can never have? For years I've been this outsider watching you love my best friend, tease him, worry about him and carry his children. I've watched you night after night going to bed together hand and hand knowing that he would be the one to have you and wondering just what it would be like to be Jed for one measly night." 

Abbey was stunned for a moment by Leo's passionate outburst and when she finally did speak her voice was filled with compassion. "I never knew you felt that way, Leo." 

"You weren't supposed to know. I became a master of hiding my feelings because I knew that if they ever came out I would lose both of you. Jed is the brother I never had. I love him and I love you, Abbey. My attraction to you is not only…sexual…I also love you as a person. I've watched you grow up from this pretty little co-ed into a gorgeous woman. I've watched you become a brilliant doctor and an incredibly loving mother. I'm the godfather to your daughter, for heaven's sake; I never wanted to lose my position in your family. My pain was the price I paid for being in the loop. And it really wasn't so bad when we lived so far apart. It got harder on the campaign but it's really only been since Rosslyn and your pregnancy that things have been really hard." 

"So I wasn't crazy," Abbey breathed. "You really DID pull away after I gave birth to the twins. I mean when I was pregnant you were always stopping over, always checking on me." 

"I was afraid for you. You've always been so strong, Abbey. But that night in Rosslyn, when you thought that Jed was going to die, I saw a fragility in you that I had never seen before. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted you to be able to lean on me. When Jed told me you were pregnant, it scared me. I was worried about the pregnancy damaging your health and the fact that you had twins in there made me nervous as hell. But, once you gave birth, it was so hard to watch you and Jed bonding with your new little family when I had so recently lost mine. Don't get me wrong. I was very relieved that you came through the delivery okay and that the babies were healthy. I was so happy for both of you, but it was hard not to envy Jed." 

"I thought you were angry with me for getting pregnant and distracting Jed from his job." 

"No, I wasn't angry with you. Never you." 

"Not me? Were you angry with Jed?" 

"Maybe. Yeah, I guess I was. I mean he told me about you forgetting the birth control pills and I guess it just ticked me off that he didn't have any self-control. That he risked your health because he couldn't keep his hands off you. I mean if he'd had more patience he could have had Josh or Sam or even me go to a drugstore to get what he needed." 

Abbey saw the faint flush of embarrassment creep up in Leo's cheeks. Discussions of this nature were not something that they generally had. "So he didn't tell you the whole story," she breathed. "He let you believe you were right and that it was all him. Damned if he isn't always a gentleman." 

"What do you mean?" Leo frowned. 

"You were wrong. It wasn't Jed who couldn't keep his hands off me; it was me not keeping my hands off of him. I'M the reason I got pregnant, Leo. Jed was willing to wait until we came home, if need be. And when he tried to…well, to take care of matters, I wouldn't let him. I guess he let you believe that it was he – out of some sense of chivalry – to keep from embarrassing me." She watched Leo swallow and look away from her. "Have I shocked you?" 

"No," Leo smiled. "One of the things that I love about you is your passionate nature. It really wasn't any of my business anyway. Your personal life with Jed is separate from the job. I guess I was just lonely. Jed was all wrapped up with you and those two new babies and my divorce was final. I was going home to an empty, sterile apartment every night. I used to lay there and wonder if I had married a woman like you instead of Jenny, if I would have gotten myself into the messes I found myself in." 

"What do you mean ' a woman like me'? Am I that different from Jenny?" 

Leo gave a snort of laughter. "Honey, you two are light-years apart. Jenny was the classic enabler. She was always willing to put on this façade that everything was all right when really, inside, our home was filled with bitterness and silence and separate bedrooms. You wouldn't allow things to get to that point. You don't put up with any bullshit." 

"And you know this for a fact?" Abbey grinned. 

"Yeah, I think I know you pretty well. Jed told me about the time that he went out with his aides and some constituents for an hour meeting at the Elks Lodge and he ended up having a few beers and watching the Celtics game while you sat at home holding dinner for him." 

"Oh he did, did he?" 

"Yeah, he told me he ended up sleeping on the wicker lounge on the porch." 

"He most certainly did." Abbey grinned and her mind meandered back in time to that night in the mid 80's when Jed was a newly elected Congressman. She had questioned her decision not to move down to D.C. with him about a hundred times a day. It had been so hard to let him go, but in the end it had been the only decision she could make. She had worked so hard to get her career just where it was, to finally have a healthy balance between work and motherhood and she also had three daughters to worry about. Elizabeth was starting high school and Ellie and Zoey were in grammar school. With three active girls there was field hockey and soccer, dance lessons and riding lessons, brownies and girl scouts. It had seemed so unfair to uproot them from their schools, their friends and their lifestyle, especially when Congress was in session for such a short period of time. Jed would have a very long Christmas break and the entire summer off to be with them all, and he had promised to come home every weekend that he could. It wouldn't be easy but she knew they could make it work. She had to wonder just how wise that decision had been when on one of the first weekends that he had come home, she had sent the girls off to dinner at their grandparents so she and Jed could be alone and had ended up spending the entire evening on her own. 


	29. Thou Shalt Not Covet

_(New Hampshire mid-80's)_

Abbey sat at the elegantly set dining room table, her fingernails tapping impatiently on the mahogany wood. Jed was already over an hour late. His favorite meal was staying warm in the oven and getting drier and more overdone with each minute that went by. She rose to her feet tugging the tight mini-skirt further down her thighs. Her stilettos clicked on the hard wood floor as she made her way to the window to stare down the driveway looking for his headlights. Wearing a garter belt and no underwear, with her long hair loose the way Jed liked it, she had been bent on seduction and ready to show her husband how much she had missed him. So, just where was the jackass anyway? His meeting should have been finished well over an hour ago. Every glance at her watch only made her more pissed as she saw just how late he was. It wouldn't be long now before the girls were brought home and she certainly didn't want her mother-in-law or even her daughters catching her in this slinky get up. She turned back toward the table and blew out the candles while grabbing the champagne out of the bucket it had been chilling in. Back in the kitchen, she angrily took the Yankee pot roast dinner out of the oven. Skye, their beautiful sable collie, sat eyeing her as she began scraping the food into the trash. She took pity on the dog and cut a chunk of the now dry meat off and tossed it to her muttering "Somebody ought to enjoy this." 

By the time Jed returned home later that night, the girls were sleeping and Abbey was reading in bed. An aide had dropped him off at the farm as he'd had a few too many beers while watching the Celtics thrilling overtime victory. Finding the door locked was not strange, but he knew that Abbey had deliberately locked him out when, after using his key, he found the deadbolts in place. They never used the deadbolts and Abbey knew he was coming home that night. 

"Abbey," he called out as he pounded on the door. "Abbey, let me in!" When his knocks and the shouts of her name didn't draw a response, he made his way back down the stairs and stumbled across the lawn to look up at their bedroom window. 

"Abbey!" He cupped his hands over his mouth and bellowed up towards their window. "ABBEY!" 

Jesus, Abbey thought. He sounds just like Marlon Brando calling out to Stella. Jed's shouts grew louder and Skye began to bark. 

"Skye, hush," Abbey admonished the dog. She put her book down and got out of bed making her way to the window and pushing it open. 

"ABIGAIL BARTLET, you let me IN!" He saw her lean out the window then, her long red hair falling over her shoulders, so damn beautiful. She'd let him in now that she was awake. 

"Jed, for God's sake, be QUIET. You're going to wake up the girls." She knew from his voice and his behavior that he was pretty drunk. 

"Let me in, Abbey," he called up to her. 

"No." 

"NO? What do you mean 'no'? You let me in MY house, Abbey." 

"Why don't you go sleep with the other jackasses in the barn." 

"Abbey, come on, baby, let me in." He changed his tactics and tried to sweet talk her. 

"Not on your life." 

"Then I'll stand out here and shout your name until I wake up the girls and everyone else in Hillsborough County." 

Abbey knew he was stubborn enough to do just that. She left the window and grabbed the clothes she had discarded. From the linen closet she pulled out a quilt and a pillow and made her way downstairs. Jed was waiting for her on the porch when she opened the door. 

"I knew you'd come around." The grin left his face when he saw the blanket in her arms. 

"It's a nice night. You like sleeping under the stars, enjoy it." She shoved the blanket and pillow into his arms. "By the way, there's a little something in there to show you just what you missed tonight." 

"Abbey, come on, don't be this way. My meeting ran long and then the Celtics were in this incredible game, I just lost track of time." 

"Sleep it off, Jed. And if I hear another peep out of you tonight, you will never see me in any of those garments. Sweet dreams," she smiled at him sweetly and shut the door. He heard the deadbolt slam into place. 

Jed sighed and rolled out the quilt. Inside were a skimpy little black cocktail dress and a lacy garter belt. He didn't see any underwear with the outfit. Oh Christ, had she been wearing any? Suddenly the Celtics game seemed like a real waste of time. He groaned aloud when he found the red lace "Victoria's Secret" teddy she had obviously planned on wearing later in the evening. "You really ARE a jackass, Bartlet," he grumbled to himself as he stretched out on the lumpy cushions of the wicker chaise lounge. Images of his wife in that dress and in that teddy clouded his mind, arousing him to the point of being uncomfortable. Now he knew what Abbey had meant by her last words. "Sweet dreams, my ass." He punched his pillow and tried to get comfortable, knowing that right now he could be upstairs in his big, warm, king-sized bed making love to his wife. 

_(Present)_

"He really did learn his lesson," Abbey laughed. 

"Yes, he did. Even when I tried to get him to…" Leo trailed off seeing sparks of anger ignite in Abbey's eyes. 

"Even when you tried to get him to party with you and cheat on me," she finished for him. 

"I should never have done that, Abbey." 

"No, you shouldn't have. You had to know what that would do to me – to us. Why did you want to hurt me like that? Did you think that if Jed cheated on me I would leave him and turn to you?" 

"No, Jesus, no. I never even thought of that. I hated myself, Abbey. I hated what I was doing to my family – to my life. And there was Jed, Mr. Golden Boy himself, trying so hard to help me see the error of my ways. His morals had never been questioned; and I guess I thought that if I could make him do the things that I was doing, then it wouldn't seem so bad, so wrong. But, he wouldn't sink down to that level. He was never tempted, Abbey." 

"I know." The two words were said with complete confidence. "But, now that we've cleared up the past, where do we go from here? 

There was an awkward silence as Leo stared into her eyes and knew he couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. He couldn't tell her that his feelings had disappeared. "Are you going to tell me to stop loving you?" he asked. 

Abbey's eyes widened with surprise, "Don't be absurd. You know, only a man would say something like that. Feelings aren't something you can turn off and on like a spigot. Feelings are just there inside us whether we like them or not." 

"Uncontrollable," Leo offered. 

"Well, to a certain extent. While you can't help how you feel, you can control how you react to those feelings and what you do with them…Why are you smiling? Jed told you to stop loving me, didn't he? 

"No. He DEMANDED that I stop loving you. 

Abbey shook her head with a sigh, "That does sound like my Jed." 

My Jed. Leo had watched her beautiful hazel eyes go soft as she referred to her husband with a combination of possession and good humored exasperation. 

"Did I just hear my name?" Jed asked, poking his head in the room. 

"Leo was just telling me how you demanded he stop feeling the way that he does. How many times have I told you it doesn't work that way?" 

"This year or our entire life together?" He entered the room and Leo noted the subtle possessiveness in the way that Jed sat next to Abbey and took her hand. He read his best friend's message loud and clear. Hands off, he was telling him. She's MINE. 

"It was a rhetorical question, Jed. Where are the kids?" 

"I put them both down for a nap. They were getting fussy. So have you come up with any solutions? Have you figured out what we are going to do about this mess?" 

"I don't think there is a perfect solution," Leo said. "I can't make myself stop feeling the way that I do. It's wrong, it's hurtful and I hate it, but I can't stop it. Now, having said that, I can promise you that I am going to work on it. That's the best I can do." He turned from Jed to look at Abbey. "I don't want to make things uncomfortable for you, Abbey. If you think that it is going to be too strange and awkward for me to work in the White House knowing how I feel, I will leave my resignation with the President." 

"I don't want you to resign, Leo," Abbey said. "Jed needs you and I think the three of us can work through this. I know it may be awkward for a while, but someday you'll fall head over heels in love with someone really special and you'll be able to let go of what you feel for me. I'm sure of it." 

Daring not to contradict her, Leo turned back to the President. "What about you, Jed? Are you sure you can still work with me knowing all of this?" 

Jed sat quietly as he contemplated the question. "I'm honestly going to try. I'm not going to say that this cut doesn't run deep. And, as much as I want to, this isn't a wound that I can put a Band-Aid on. I'm just going to have to let it bleed until it stops. Maybe then I'll be able to deal with everything a little better." 

"That's fair," Leo nodded. 

"Shake on it," Abbey ordered. 

"Abbey –" Jed protested. 

"SHAKE on it," she insisted. 

Leo put his hand out to the man in front of him – his friend, and his brother. Jed looked at the hand for a long moment and felt Abbey prodding him on. Finally, reluctantly, he moved his arm forward to grasp Leo's hand in his. 

Abbey beamed a smile at both men and placed her own hands over theirs, keeping them clasped together. 

"We're family," she said firmly. "We'll get past this." 

Both men smiled at her and nodded but both were wishing that they shared her confidence and optimism, because at that moment neither was at all sure that they would indeed work past this. Neither of them was sure that they had it in them. But, they had promised the woman they both loved to try, and that was a start. 

THE END 


End file.
